Posted by Nutrimom - Food Allergy Liason on December 2, 2016 · 1 Comment
Chances are most of us knows someone with a food allergy. With the holidays practically beating down our door and food arriving from every direction, what steps can we take to ensure that everyone is kept out of harm’s way? After all, the holidays are about giving, eating, sharing and loving. How can we accomplish all of this when some of us are still unsure of the safety rules? I feel that I am safe to speak on behalf of most families who have food allergies; we all have unspoken wish lists that fill our hearts with joy whenever anyone abides by them.
- Include Us We understand that this can be tricky and even cause extra work for many of you. We know that your lives are just as busy as our own. We also know that many people truly want to include people with food allergies in their plans but they just don’t know how. Begin by including us in your plans rather than making us feel as if we are invading your plans. We will help you every step of the way because the mere fact that you care for us enough to offer means so very much to all of us.
- Listen to Us This might be the most difficult part for you; your mind is already spinning in multiple directions. If you want to include us, listening is an absolute necessary part of planning for safety. If you ask a question about menus or foods or products, realize that whatever we tell you is for a precise reason. Write it down, ask us multiple times if you have too but please be sure and listen to what we say.
- Consider Our Journey Remember that none of us with food allergies asked to have a food allergy. No matter what you think we say, do or request is some secret way to cause aggravation that is not our purpose at all. Our food requests are not about you- they are all about us. Is this a bit selfish- yes but it can mean life or death so it must be this way.
- Be Honest With Us If you feel unsure at any time with what we have told you to stay safe, tell us. Many of us are still trying to figure out all of the rules about our allergies so we absolutely don’t expect you to understand them either. Tell us you want us there but that you don’t feel that you can offer us safe foods. Honesty is like a safety hug.
- Discuss the Menu with Us Go over the menu and ask us if there is anything that we are able to eat. We do ask that you be patient with us when we ask what may seem like thousands of questions. This is how our lives are and we are just used to investigating every single detail about our foods. You may learn things that you didn’t even know about your foods from us.
- BYOF It’s perfectly fine to ask us to bring our own food! In fact, many of us travel with foods most of the time so that we are safe and there is no added pressure to us or to our hosts. We love our food just as much as you do but in the end, being safe and spending quality time with our friends and family is what counts the most.
There are just a few more wishes for the people who visit us in our homes as well. You might even say it is just part of our routine rather than wishes. Remember not to be offended or think that we are exaggerating- we will welcome you with open arms but it’s our house and our rules. These were put into place because this is what our home needs to avoid an allergic reaction. Remember – it’s my child’s life – I can’t care if people get offended – he could die, period. It’s not my job to make everyone else feel comfortable – only to keep my son safe and alive. That trumps everything! Trust me when I say that nothing turns a holiday into a bad memory faster than watching an allergic reaction. So all that said, I think you’ll understand a little more clearly why we insist on the following:
Wash your hands Do not stop to shake hands, do not touch my child’s face, do not touch any of our foods until you have washed your hands please. We are not afraid of germs- we are afraid of what allergic ingredients are hiding on your hands. That candy bar that you moved around inside of your purse to get to your lipstick? That could be fatal to us.
Please Don’t Debate Washing your hands or following our safety rules is not up for discussion. Our family has special needs and you must follow our request. You do not know all of the reasons and you don’t need too. We don’t need to know why you don’t agree with some of them. Please respect us enough to keep us safe- we will do the same for you.
Ask Before You Bring Food Don’t take this the wrong way- again, we love our foods. We appreciate that you want to share with us and feed us. But chances are, we won’t be able to eat what you have spent your time and effort to make for us. If you are thinking of bringing food, ask us what products we like and make us a gift bag of those items (keep them in the package- even preparing allergy-friendly items has its own set of safety rules).
Every family has a holiday routine and we would love to learn yours. This year, spending time with each other can be the best gift we are given. Take pictures, swap recipe ideas and cook with each to learn new methods of cooking and how to use new ingredients. If you are wondering what you should bring to the table, kindness is always an absolute winner.
Great post! I always bring something I can eat and never expect anyone to adjust things because often they attempt but don’t make it safe and than feel bad and make me feel bad when I can’t eat it. When I host I am very cautious in not only what is served but also how it is prepared. I also ask or try to make things I know that they like and not just assume. I also like to adjust many of the dishes so it isn’t something completely different for them but yet includes everyone and can be enjoyed by all.