Boredom vs. Structure: Is One “Better” for a Special Needs Child?
Last updated on August 9th, 2026 at 04:31 pm
There is a lot of parenting buzz about letting your kids be bored because only then will they tap into their imaginations and learn to be self-reliant. Childhood boredom can lead to many wonderful things like invented games, improvised plays and backyard expeditions. Then again, many children with special needs need structure. Some get very anxious when they are unsure where to go and what to do. Others get lost in time and distractions in ways that are not beneficial or can get up to activities that are destructive or unsafe. Throughout this article please understand that when I refer to unstructured time I never mean for it to mean unsupervised time. Safety is crucial! Also, this is not about boredom in school – this is about the summertime, weekend, hanging out at home type of boredom. So how do you balance your child’s need for structure with the healthy benefits of downtime?
I was faced with this dilemma of schedule vs. free time on only the fourth day of summer break, when my special needs child dramatically threw herself on my bed and sighed, “I’m bored.”
As always, take the unique needs of your child and your family into consideration. If you work, if your child is in a summer program or camp or if your child has a caregiver this may not all be up to you. You will need to get input from your child’s team to see how he or she tolerates unstructured time before you can decide how much boredom to allow at home.
Even when it seems like I am letting my kids hang around the house doing nothing, I always have a secret schedule in my mind and am always watching the clock and listening to the sibling rivalry. Sometimes I have to step in and redirect, sometimes I can let it play out. Sometimes I have to force them all to unplug, or go outside or read.
If your child needs structure and scheduling, try building some imagination time into the daily agenda. Start small, maybe ten minutes, and build the time up as your child can tolerate it. Knowing there is an end time may also help the child feel less anxious about free time.
Some children have trouble making choices. In this case you can schedule something like reading time or art time, but allow your child the choice of what book to read or what art materials to use. If that is too overwhelming, you can give your child two or three options and let them choose. Then stop giving the options. Eventually you can work up to giving your child bigger choices, like reading time or art time. Even using the phrase “play time” instead of “free time” may offer the child a hint about appropriate choices during this time. If the idea of unstructured time is very overwhelming to your child, brainstorm a list of things they could do during free time, then post it somewhere or keep it in a notebook so you can consult it as needed. You may even want to make a Boredom Jar so the suggested activities will be randomized when your child pulls one out.
As always, if unstructured time doesn’t work for your child right now that is fine, but as our kids grow up and we try to teach them to be independent you can revisit it at a later date.
Sat. 5/9 at AMC, THE SHEEP DETECTIVES are Sensory Friendly
Last updated on June 14th, 2026 at 07:32 pm
Since 2007, AMC Entertainment (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and other special needs “Sensory Friendly Films” every month – a wonderful opportunity to enjoy fun new films in a safe and accepting environment. On the second and fourth Saturdays of each month, family-friendly films are featured and Wednesday evenings, films for more mature audiences are screened. On Saturday May 9th, THE SHEEP DETECTIVES will be Sensory Friendly! 🙂
Enjoy the magic of the movies in an environment that’s a little quieter and a little brighter. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.) and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. On this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, 
everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.
Families affected by autism or other special needs can view a sensory friendly screening of THE SHEEP DETECTIVES on Saturday May 9th. Tickets are typically discounted depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).
**It’s important to note that Sensory Friendly Screenings will begin immediately at its scheduled showtime, without trailers playing before the show starts. Please arrive on time so you don’t miss the movie!**
Also Coming in May: Star Wars: The Mandalorian and Grogu (Wed. May 27th)
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Editor’s note: Although THE SHEEP DETECTIVES has been chosen by the AMC and the Autism Society as this month’s Sensory Friendly Film, we do want parents to know that it is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America for thematic material, some violent content and brief language. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your family.
I’m A Special Needs Soccer Mom …she’s come a long way, baby
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm
My child is now on a soccer team. That seems like such a mundane statement, and the driving to and from games and the extra strain to find time to do homework and make dinner is wearing me out. But in the middle of it all I try to take a moment to remember that the fact that she is on a soccer team is not mundane at all – in fact, it is almost miraculous! Doctors told us she might never walk or talk, and yet there she is up and down the field, calling to her teammates. Yes, her legs might be a bit more stiff than the other girls and yes, sometimes her teammates don’t exactly understand what she is saying but for the most part she is just another girl on the team. She is ecstatic when they win and sullen when they lose, just like all the other girls. At one point my baby was labeled “failure to thrive” and the doctor started strongly suggesting a feeding tube. We resisted and worked on finding another answer.
This year at her annual checkup I got a lecture about how much weight she has gained the past year.
When we first got her diagnosis and grim predictions for her future I remember telling my family that I couldn’t allow myself to be upset about a future that might never happen – I had infant twins in my care, plus their toddler big brother. I was buried in diapers, feedings, laundry and medicine schedules. I was too tired to be upset. I had no choice but to take it one moment at a time. Of course I wanted to crawl under a rock, but babies have a way of demanding things, like food and attention and clean clothes.
If you have a newly diagnosed special needs child I am not saying don’t worry, everything will be fine. But I am saying to listen to your doctors, do your research, find support and take it one moment at a time – one bottle, one Sesame Street song or one load of laundry at a time.
Looking Back: A Special Needs Child’s Struggle for Freedom
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:17 pm
As our kids go back to school, I thought I would remind you to look back and appreciate all the struggles and victories you and your special needs child have faced. As I have mentioned, my child was never supposed to walk or talk but she does all that and more. Even if she had never made those strides (pun intended) we would love her and be proud of her, because the end result is not important – it’s the fight. As a a parent I have also had to fight – the school, the system as well as my own worries and expectations. Watching my child and other special needs children battle for their own type of freedom gives me even more admiration for all who are fighting every day in this country to keep us free.
Here is an excerpt from a piece I wrote for a fundraiser for The Chime Institute, which runs 
my child’s charter school based on inclusion. It was performed at Chimeapalooza as part of a multi-media celebration.
When I heard from the Regional Center that there was a CHIME Infant and Toddler Program for my baby daughter with special needs, I almost cried. Then, when I heard that I could bring along her typical twin brother and that it was free, I think I did cry. The Infant and Toddler Program was 65% special needs kids and 35% peer models. I loaded up my sixteen month old twins and explained that yes, he was walking and that no, she was not – and maybe she never would.
But she did. She graduated out of Regional Center Early Intervention, and the parade of therapists coming to my house stopped. From there the twins went to the CSUN Lab School – aka The Child and Family Studies Center. This time the program was 65% typically developing children and 35% of the program was saved for children with special needs with support from CHIME. I had to explain that yes, he pretty much knew how to use the potty and that no, she didn’t use the potty yet…and maybe she never would.
But she did. Preschool came and went, and then it came time for the lottery for the CHIME Charter Elementary School. I found my way through the maze of residential streets south of the boulevard…and a mysterious orange orchard…and handed in their applications. Maybe I was kidding myself. I knew the odds were stacked against us and that most children don’t get in, but maybe she would.
But she didn’t. But her older brother did! And that meant…the twins were in, too! I requested that they stay together in their kinder classroom – only the first of many, many requests I would make of the CHIME administration – and so off they went, still together.
One day on the way home from pick-up with all three of my kids in the car my kindergarten-aged son asked an innocent question, ”What is the big deal about special needs kids? I mean, why does CHIME talk about them so much?”
“Well…” I answered, tailoring my information to be age-appropriate, “CHIME believes in inclusion, which means that even though the kids can all do different things you can all learn together and be friends. So each class has some special needs kids in it. Like your class has three…”
He cut me off. “No, we don’t. We only have two.” He rattled off the names of his classmates with more obvious special needs. My daughter nodded her agreement. I felt my upper lip break out in a sweat.
“Yes, honey,” I said gently, “your class does have three special needs kids in it.”
“No it doesn’t!” he repeated adamantly, reminding me of his two classmates.
I jumped off the cliff. “The third student with special needs is your sister.”
“No she isn’t!” he objected as if I was playing a silly joke on him.
And there it was…living, breathing proof that the experiment that is CHIME is working so incredibly well. They didn’t see themselves as different from each other, …and maybe they never will.
Preventing Wandering in Children with Autism
Last updated on July 14th, 2025 at 12:22 pm
The search for 9 year-old Mikaela Lynch ended in tragedy when her body was found in a creek near her family’s vacation home in Northern California. Mikaela had autism and tended to wander off. She loved water but was unable to swim.
According to The National Autism Association, in cases of children with autism who died after wandering off, accidental drowning was the cause of death for 71%, followed by traffic injuries at 18%
Any child may wander off, but The Interactive Autism Network’s 2011 study of more than 800 families, showed that children with autism were four times more likely to wander (or elope) from a safe setting than their siblings who were unaffected by autism.
And while the reasons for wandering tended to vary, AWAARE has downloadable resources available to help keep all children safe. Download their Autism & Wandering brochure here. Autism Speaks also has links to resources. You can also find a wonderful PBS video called “Understanding Autism” I’ve included here.
Six Tips to Prevent Wandering and Related Tragedies (from AWAARE: Autism Wandering Awareness Alerts Response Education Coalition)
Secure your home
- Consider a locating device
- Consider an ID bracelet
- Teach your child to swim
- Alert your neighbors
- Alert first responders
We relied on our home security system to alert us to a door that had opened in our house. We also have a small alarm that attaches to our sliding glass door, which my husband found in a pool supply store. While some preventive techniques are simple and relatively inexpensive, some people say that insurance should pay for other methods to keep these children safe.
What do you think? Should there be laws about this issue? How do you prevent wandering in your family?
THUNDERBOLTS Strike AMC’s Sensory Friendly Screens: May 10th
Last updated on May 25th, 2025 at 07:06 pm
Since 2007, AMC Entertainment (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and other special needs “Sensory Friendly Films” every month – a wonderful opportunity to enjoy fun new films in a safe and accepting environment. On the second and fourth Saturdays of each month, family-friendly films are featured and Wednesday evenings, films for more mature audiences are screened. On Saturday May 10th, THUNDERBOLTS will be striking Sensory Friendly theatres. 🙂
Enjoy the magic of the movies in an environment that’s a little quieter and a little brighter. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.) and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, 
everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.
Families affected by autism or other special needs can view a sensory friendly screening of THUNDERBOLTS on Saturday May 10th. Tickets are typically discounted depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).
**It’s important to note that Sensory Friendly Screenings will begin immediately at its scheduled showtime, without trailers playing before the show starts. Please arrive on time so you don’t miss the movie!**
Also Coming in May: The Accountant 2 (Wed. May 14th) and Mission Impossible: The Final Reckoning (Wed. May 28th)
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Editor’s note: Although THUNDERBOLTS has been chosen by the AMC and the Autism Society as this month’s Sensory Friendly Film, we do want parents to know that it is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America for strong violence, language, thematic elements, and some suggestive and drug references. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your family.
