What Does Independence Mean For Your Special Needs Child?

As you gear up to celebrate The Fourth of July, take a moment to think about the idea of independence. How far has your special needs child come thus far? How many things can he or she do independently now that seemed out of reach a while ago? No matter how small, be sure to celebrate each speck of progress. And the next. And the next. Eventually those specks can build something amazing. There was a time when everything my daughter touched would be knocked down, dropped or spilled. Today she has a good 95% success rate!

Take a moment to look to the future. What short and long term goals do you hope your child will achieve toward independence? Now may be the time to start planning for the next phase of your child’s life, the next transition. Will your child be able to live on their own? Are there group homes in your area? If they will be at home, what are the ground rules? I dread the day my daughter starts talking about dating…but not as much as her father is dreading it!

Independence can also be interpreted as freedom. What freedom has your child been able to master? It is hard for any parent to release control of their child and watch them become their own person. How much of the leash have you been able to let out? Of course it’s heartbreaking to watch your child fail or fall, but that is part of learning. Let them pick themselves up (figuratively or literally) and encourage them to try again. Sure, it would be easier and faster if I did my daughter’s chores for her, but I hope that some day she will be on her own. She may never want to do any of it, but one day – for whatever reason – I won’t be there to do it for her so she should at least know how to do it.

If you need some tips, check out my article about making fireworks more manageable for special needs kids from last year on Pediatric Safety.

What will independence mean for your child?

7 Reasons a Pet is Good For Your Special Needs Kid

1. Kids love animals. Animals make kids happy.

2. Pets can be calming. Petting a dog, listening to the purr of a cat or just gazing at a fish tank can lower blood pressure and stress levels, according to WebMD.

3. The chores involved with caring for a pet can help teach kids responsibility and empathy as well as help the child feel productive.

4. The physical acts involved with caring for a pet can be therapeutic as long as they match the child’s abilities. Stretching to brush a dog is much more rewarding than stretching in gym class! Work with your child’s physical therapist to see which movements can be combined with therapy goals. Chore charts for pet care also help with organization and remembering sequences.

5. Pets don’t see disabilities. They don’t care if a child looks or sounds different from other kids.

6. Pets are friends. They listen to books, even if the words are not pronounced very well. They also listen to problems and are very good at keeping secrets.

7. They may help kids stay healthy. Children who have a pet in their home are less likely to have allergies or asthma.

Choose the correct pet for your situation and lifestyle. Even if you end up doing most of the work involved with owning a pet, your child will gain so much by having an animal in the household.

Senseez Pillows: Vibration to Relax, Calm & Soothe Little Bodies

My name is Stephanie Mitelman. I am a Mom and I created the Senseez Pillows. The name Senseez means to ease the senses… Let me tell you the story of how Senseez was born…

When my son was 2, he was diagnosed with a special need. One of his difficulties was sitting in one place long enough to eat his meal, read a story, or sit for circle time.

I spoke to an occupational therapist who recommended a vibrating mat to help with this.I bought one for my son, and he instantly loved the sensations!

But one day, I wanted to take him to our local library for story telling, and though the mat would help… it was large, black, heavy, and had to be plugged in. I was also concerned about my son looking different or standing out with this large mat.

So I went on a search to find a small, lightweight, portable pillow that would offer the same sensations that he could take with him. I couldn’t find one!

So Senseez was born!

Senseez are colorful, lightweight, fun shaped vinyl pillows that offer a gentle vibration when they are squeezed or sat on. They operate on batteries and have a small pouch inside that can vibrate to offer sensations to relax, calm or soothe the body. They’re small enough to take anywhere and are made just for little bums!

Kids that have trouble sitting for meals, stories, car rides, shopping trips, school work, movies, or anything else will be comforted by the vibrations of Senseez. Kids that have trouble falling asleep will enjoy the relaxing sensations.

The original prototypes were sewn in the basement of our home! We made about 25 pillows by hand, and distributed them throughout schools and therapy centers in our area. Since Senseez was created to be taken everywhere and to be used by multiple children, we used a vinyl material, since it is considered to be the most hygienic and easiest to keep clean. The vinyl is also water resistant. We also created a Senseez furry option for children who would like more tactile input.

After we got some feedback, we hired an engineer to perfect the vibrating mechanism we needed. Once that was complete, we had the pillows tested by Canadian standards for lead, small parts and flammability.

We then connected with an importer who handled the production. Our first order was for 600 pillows. Once the word started getting out, we sold out within 9 months!

In April 2013, we were also invited to do a taping on the Dragon’s Den television show. Today, we have 14 different distributors across Canada and the US, and the pillows are now being used across schools, therapy centers and many homes! The feedback we get is so positive, and the ways in which the pillows are being used is so inspiring. Here is an example:

I wanted to share a positive story regarding your Senseez Pillows. I gave one of the pillows to my client who is part of our deaf blind program. Although she is very fluent in hand over hand sign language as well as Braille, she struggles a lot with expressive communication. We have been working closely with her to initiate requests, preferences, feelings…..communication in general. The pillow was introduced during a session as a sensory aid with vibration. She immediately started hugging the pillow and placing it behind her back ……all while signing the word “happy”.

While her expressive communication still remains a struggle, she is now on a regular basis asking for the “vibrating pillow”. She has created a sign that meshes together the words vibrate and pillow, which she independently will communicate to others!

It’s a huge break through!!!!!! It is the first time that she has communicated a want.

Needless to say, we will be needing some more pillows 🙂

Research shows that vibrational therapy has been used for many years in many different forms. Some children require the vibrations to help calm their bodies, while other children just enjoy the way it feels!

We are thrilled that our pillow is helping children, parents, teachers and therapists!

HEALTHFUL HINTS

Tips for working with children who have difficulty sitting in one place for any length of time:

1. Some children do best with time limits. Let the child know how long they will have to sit for. A start and finish time can help. i.e: sit for 3 minutes to finish snack.
2. Sometimes using a visual timer can help. Visual timers are available at most special needs stores.
3. When training a child to sit for a period of time, start small and the build it up. One minute, goes to two, then five etc…
4. It is okay to use outside reinforcers during this process. Children respond well to rewards, like their favorite treats. You want to build in a reward at the beginning and it won’t be long before long they won’t need it anymore.
5. It is also okay to use other distractors like TV or iPad in the beginning. We want to calm the child during this hard task. For some children, TV and iPad can help reduce the anxiety of staying one place may cause. After a while, the distraction won’t be needed either.
6. And you will need to verbally prompt at the beginning. Prompting is giving a gentle reminder about what the child is supposed to be doing, and reinforcing it when they do.
7. It is always important to reinforce the good behavior (when they do sit in one place), and not only discuss when they don’t.
8. And lastly, some children enjoy different sensations to help soothe their senses. Vibrations are helpful. Other sensations could be a weighted vest or blanket, or something that offers compression.

Note: Each child is different and you will have to experiment with what works with your child!

Check-Out What Movies are Sensory Friendly this Month at AMC

Since 2007, AMC Entertainment (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and other special needs “Sensory Friendly Films” every month – a wonderful opportunity to enjoy fun new films in a safe and accepting environment. This Saturday, December 10th, Strange World is Sensory Friendly at AMC.

Enjoy the magic of the movies in an environment that’s a little quieter and a little brighter. We turn the lights up, and the sound down, so you can get up, dance, walk, shout or even sing! Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.

Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.

Families can view a sensory friendly screening of Strange World on Saturday December 10th. Tickets are typically discounted depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).

COMING TO AMC SENSORY FRIENDLY IN DECEMBER:
Devotion (Wed. Dec. 14th) and Avatar: The Way of Water (Wed. Dec. 28th)

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Editor’s note: Although Strange World has been chosen by the AMC and the Autism Society as this month’s Sensory Friendly Film, we do want parents to know that it is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America for action/peril and some thematic elements. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your family.

Top 5 Halloween Candy Alternatives: For ALL Kids’ Special Needs

Childhood obesity is now called an epidemic, and many special needs kids have very specific dietary needs so lots of parents and caregivers, not to mention dentists, cringe at the idea of a pillowcase filled with candy on Halloween. There are a growing number of children who have medical conditions, dietary restrictions and/or whose caregivers take a “radical” anti-sugar or organic approach to life, so non-candy offerings can really help these little ones (and not-so-little ones) enjoy the holiday, too. Many times I see the ghouls and goblins that darken my doorstep getting even more excited about the non-candy treats I pass out than if I were to give them yet another pumpkin-shaped confection or lollipop. I’m happy to say that more and more alternatives to candy are appearing in stores and in my kids’ Halloween haul. Here are some ideas for non-candy Halloween treats. Take a stroll down your local store aisles for even more possibilities.

Top 5 Halloween Candy Alternatives

1. Pencils – most school districts are struggling with budget cuts and lack of funding. Halloween or other themed pencils are inexpensive and can be used to add interest to long school days and even longer homework assignments. Look for pencils decorated with cartoon characters, sparkly glitter, space aliens, sports teams and much more. Again, pencils can be bought in packages meant for party favors or even in bulk from party stores and office supply shops. Small note pads, erasers, activity and coloring books and crayons are also great ideas.

2. Trading Cards – whether it’s good old-fashioned baseball cards or one of the current trendy card lines like Marvel Legends, a pack of trading cards has a lot of possibilities inside that small package. Some trading card battle games even help kids practice math, memory and classification skills, which is certainly sweet. Small decks of playing cards or card games are also available in packs of party favors and offer long-term play value instead of a quick sugar rush.

3. Glow sticks, bracelets and necklaces are great for safety on a dark and spooky night of trick-or-treating, and they also make kids feel like they are at a theme park or concert. But they have lots of fun uses inside, too – they light up blanket forts and look great inside carved jack-o-lanterns.

4. Bubbles – you might think bubbles only appeal to the younger set but I’ve seen plenty of teenagers have a blast blowing these around and at each other. It’s also a favorite pre-concert and nightclub activity, making tweens feel a bit like the big kids. Pets love to chase them, too!

5. Temporary tattoos – you can find these in Halloween designs, superheroes, princesses, glow-in-the-dark, encouraging sayings and much more. Glitter tattoos are a big fad right now, and nothing says fun like glitter!

Honorable mention: Stickers – kids love to cover themselves (and their clothes, books and backpacks) in these, which is why doctors, dentists and teachers always use them as rewards.

Frugal Tip: Throughout the year I save small goody bag items that my kids have received but don’t like and put them in a box. Sometimes those restaurant packs of crayons remain unopened, so they go in the box, too. By Halloween I have a nice stash to share with my costumed holiday visitors.

As you can see, you really do have many alternative choices instead of candy this treat-or-treat season – this list is only the beginning. Small craft kits, party packs of modeling clay, stamps, bookmarks, and key chains….the list just might be endless and is limited only by your imagination.

Happy Halloween!

An ADHD Dog Trainer Shows Special Kids How To Use Calm Energy

I have been writing articles about safe and healthy interactions between kids and canines for Pediatric Safety for over two years now, and in those articles I have shared numerous personal stories with you all… so I think it’s safe to say that through those stories many of you have gotten to know me pretty well. I have shared about what is was like growing up with ADHD and learning disabilities in a time where it was not really known about in my post: “Growing Up With ADHD – Have Things Changed?“. I broached the subject of being in recovery from addiction in “Kids, Pets & Your Holiday Party: Read this List (check it twice!)“ and I got into a bit more detail about it and also talked a bit about suffering for many years with low-self-esteem in “Building a Child’s Confidence Through Dog Training“.

So now, I want to combine little bits of all of that into this month’s article, because being a professional dog trainer, and especially being a member of a wonderful organization like the International Association of Canine Professionals (IACP) has changed me. There are so many observations and realizations I have made about myself since becoming a member; both personally and professionally! The changes I had to make to grow as a trainer helped me take a new look at the struggles I had so many years ago and how I might have handled them today. It is my hope that in sharing this story with you, I may be able to help many of you who have dogs and also a child who struggles with ADHD. I hope I can potentially offer you a different perspective on how they may see and perceive things, not based on years of research, studies and statistics, but based solely on my own personal experiences… who knows, maybe some of those same tactics can help you and your child too.

Early on in my career as a dog trainer, I really did not understand why I did not do well with toy breeds such as Yorkshire Terriers, Maltese, Chihuahuas, etc. It was obvious (even to me) that I did not do well with them, but I just couldn’t grasp the ‘why’ of it. So I shied away from them. I took all the calls for the mid-sized dogs (Cocker Spaniels, Beagles, Wheaten Terriers…) large breeds (Golden and Labrador Retrievers, German Shepherds, Huskies…) and even giant breeds like the Great Dane, Rottweiler’s and Mastiffs!. I was consistently successful with any breed that wasn’t tiny and typically nervous, so I referred those clients elsewhere. But I think deep down, it did bother me! Who wants to admit they cannot succeed in any area of their chosen profession? I sure didn’t!

But it was exactly this time, eight years ago, that I attended my first IACP conference!

To say that I ran the gamut of emotions- from excited to nervous, insecure, and petrified -would be a huge understatement! I do need to mention here that as a New Yorker, we all tend to talk a bit faster than most. I arrived at the conference a New Yorker with ADHD and extreme nervousness! Fortunately most of the other attendees acclimated to my hyperactivity pretty quickly… but I couldn’t help but notice how often words like, ‘Calm, tranquil, peaceful, and consistent’ were used in conjunction with the word ‘energy’ (ie: ‘calm energy,’ and ‘tranquil energy,’ etc.). Even the trainers who had their dogs with them … Both the trainers AND their dogs… were all so STILL! And my first thought was ‘CRAP! I can’t do that!’ I immediately flashed back to my childhood. It was a time in my life when the word ‘can’t’ first became my mantra.

But then came the main meeting…. And the main speaker, Cesar Milan, took the stage. His primary methodology is all about using a calm energy… building the dog’s respect for him by being assertive, firm and consistent…and CALM. At the end of his speech, when it was time for questions and answers, you bet I had some! But when I stood up to take the microphone to ask it, in my nervousness, the rapid speech was tripled, and my words seem to come out in a jumble, all tripping over each other! And Cesar, obviously having no clue what I was trying to ask, came to the edge of the stage, and in a calm and very thoughtful pose, looked at Peter, my husband, and asked, “How often is she this hyper?”

At this time the entire audience of trainers, all of whom had spent the last few days already with me and having already witnessed my hyperactivity, began to laugh… and in front of thousands, I began to cry. All that pent up nervousness, all of those hidden insecurities up until that point, all the overwhelming new knowledge (and with it, the self-doubt) came rushing to the surface.

I somehow regained my composure, eventually got out my question, and he answered it, but it was when we spoke afterwards that some things suddenly started to make sense to me. I envisioned myself arriving at a client’s home with a tiny dog, that is fearful and nervous, and me coming at them at a hundred miles an hour! How would I personally feel if I was afraid, and someone came at me like that? I was just lucky that I hadn’t gotten bitten yet!

As I thought more and more on this, other memories resurfaced…. How as a child, our dog Brandy would often come to me to rough-house and play, but if he wanted to cuddle, or just wanted to be calm and still, it was my sisters he sought out. As a kid, I took it as a personal rejection. Now I realize it wasn’t.

And I started to change the way I worked with my clients.

• When I had to work with a small dog, when I arrived at the house, I had to take a few deep calming breaths before ringing the doorbell. And I found when I calmly and assertively greeted them, both owner and dog seemed more calm and receptive!
• Another challenge I had was my impatience and aggravation sitting in traffic for an hour prior to arriving at a clients house…. So to combat that, I left an extra half hour earlier than I needed to to arrive on time. This allowed me to arrive, park near-by and do something (reading, listening to some music, etc.) to bring down my level of agitation prior to arriving at the person’s house… And amazingly, I found this not only worked well for the many small dogs I now worked with, but for the larger hyper pups as well!

When I tried to help my clients with hyperactive ADHD kids, and I would explain the importance of the kids being calm around the dog, there was one key fact that I forgot….

Almost anyone can be calm for an hour during a focused training session. But if I was able to curtail that hyperactivity full time, I would not have the diagnosis of ADHD! Was I seriously asking my client’s hyperactive kids to be calm full-time and expecting them to accomplish it?

I needed to figure out a way to help them interact with their dogs better, because I could physically see the different way the dog or pup reacted to the ADHD child versus older or calmer family members.

• With the calmer children, the dog was more relaxed, did not mind lying next to them and even cuddling with them….
• The ADHD child was filled with scratches and nip marks from the dog chasing them and jumping on them. Also a child that feels rejected by the dog that won’t cuddle with them will often try to ‘force the dog to stay with them’ by holding their collar or wrapping their arms around him. If a child physically restrains a dog and the dog wants to get away, there is a very high risk in that moment of the dog biting the child to free themselves.
• My toughest challenge was trying to figure out a good way to explain these dynamics to the child as well as explain to the parents the potential risks and dangers in a way so that they could understand and be receptive to the necessary changes.

What we did (and what you can do)

• The first thing I wanted to do was work with the child (and Mother) alone… without other family members present. (This made the child feel less self-conscious and more important – he was getting to work alone with the trainer)
• Next, I wanted to show the child that they too can have a ‘cuddling session’ with the dog. I sat on the floor with the child and we just talked a bit about the puppy, and I asked him if he would like to be able to cuddle with the puppy too, and he looked so sad when he said, “Yes, but the puppy doesn’t like me that way.” This was my opportunity to explain to him that if all they did was run and go crazy with the dog that would ALWAYS be their relationship, so he had to show the pup that they can do this.
• Next I sat side by side with the child, with my legs stretched out in front of me. I opened my legs a bit and I put the puppy on his back in between them, then gently held him in place. Once the dog had settled on me, I told the boy to gently pet all the way up, and all the way down the dog’s body, instead of quick rough movements in one spot, and to avoid the paws and ears for now, as they are sensitive areas on a dog that tend to get them easily riled up when messed with.
• The little boy did as I asked, and then when the pup was nice and calm, I switched the pup over to in between Mom’s legs and we continued the gentle petting. It was important that Mom was comfortable with this and understand what she had to do if she was going to be able to continue this when I was not around.
• After pup was relaxed with Mom, we instructed the child to sit the same way his Mom and I did, and then we calmly put the pup between his legs, and I let his Mom help him to keep the pup still and calm. We continued this, and much to the little boy’s delight, the puppy let out a huge sigh, and then closed his eyes!

When the pup was nice and relaxed, we got him up slowly and then put his leash on and all of us (Mom included) went for a walk. We worked on walking SLOWLY, and getting the pup to keep pace with the boy, instead of the other way around. The boy seemed to have a bit of trouble walking slowly for any length of time, so we practiced taking ten steps, and then telling pup to SIT. I praised the boy, and had the boy praise his dog (calmly and gently). We did this again and again…. Every ten steps we stopped and sat. The Mom told me she had never seen her son so calm and focused, and I pointed out to the Mom and the boy how receptive the pup was to his training.

A dog can be such a wonderful tool to help a child with special needs. All it really takes is a little know-how, some time, patience, and understanding. This is why they are so often used for therapy.

As an adult who has dealt with ADHD all of my life, I hope some of this helps you to help your child move out of the “I can’t’ Mantra, and into the “Wow… I really can!” all the while helping your child and pet build a safe and beautiful relationship!

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