Back-to-School Medical Exams: Parents, What You Need To Know
This exam is a very important part of good child health for many reasons. It gives the child, parents and physicians the opportunity to adequately evaluate the status, physical and emotional, of the child who is entering a new classroom setting. After being out and about for the summer months your child has been given enough time to break those school time habits and possibly get into a lifestyle not conducive to studying again. The exam time allows for physician and family to discuss this in front of the child.
If your child is an athlete, there are issues to discuss and recognize. An exam that focuses on the orthopedic, neurologic and cardiac systems is very important.
- Family history can be reviewed and if it suggests genetic issues that may impact on a child’s ability to play a sport, testing can be undertaken prior to the sports season in order to clear such a child to play a given sport.
- The issue of cerebral concussion during contact and sometimes non -contact sports can be addressed and the seriousness of this can be stressed to child and parent alike. More and more emphasis has been placed on the significance of such injuries, and rightfully so, as repeated concussions can lead to permanent problems
- Orthopedic issues can be identified that may predispose an athlete student to further and more significant problems. These may result in alterations in training procedures such that emphasis is placed on protecting certain areas of the body.
- There are issues that may prevent a child from playing an impact sport altogether; such as a single organ which is usually found in pairs- kidneys, eyes, testicles, etc. Certainly emphasis would be placed on avoiding injury to the remaining organ and might prohibit playing a certain sport. It is important for the child to hear such things directly from his/her Doctor, rather than be restricted by parents.
The pre-school exam can stress the importance of looking for aberrant behavior in class mates and avoiding such behavior: smoking, drugs, early sexual behavior, risk taking, just to name a few that in the presence of peer pressures might be difficult for a child to “just say no”.
Depending on the age of the child such issues as sexuality and gender issues can be addressed, including natural progression of puberty and beyond.
Immunizations can be reviewed and if not up to date, the proper recommendation can be given and the fears of parents and children about these immunizations can be openly discussed.
It is easy to see how this back-to-school medical exam is as important, if not more so, than obtaining the right papers, pencils, etc. Parents, please keep this in mind as the school year approaches
Back to School Dental Check-Ups
It’s that time of year again! The summer weeks are quickly winding down and school days will soon be upon us. Right now, you’re probably in the midst of helping your child get all of those back-to-school necessities in order. In addition to gathering up school supplies and scheduling physical exams, have you remembered to schedule their back-to-school dental checkup?
Routine dental appointments are imperative to helping your child maintain a healthy smile, both now and in the years to come. Scheduling an appointment for your child right before he or she goes back to school is typically the most ideal time for parents and children alike. This way, you can avoid having to take your child out of school for the appointment, and can check one more item off of your list of things to accomplish before they are back in the classroom again.
It is suggested that your child begins seeing the dentist by the time their first baby teeth start to grow in, and then schedule a regular checkup every 6 months following. This preventative care is key to ensuring your child’s teeth are developing properly and are in healthy condition. Preventative care is also much easier and much less expensive than what it takes to correct any issues that could arise without regular dental care. Some of these issues can include cavities and decay, which can cause pain and a lot of damage if not treated right away. Poor tooth development can also lead to problems down the road, and might mean the need for extensive orthodontic treatment.
During a regular dental checkup, the dental hygienist will clean, polish, and floss your child’s teeth to remove any food particles, bacteria, and plaque build-up. The hygienist will also take x-rays of your child’s teeth to get a closer look at the teeth’s development and to help spot any decay that might not be visible to the naked eye. The dentist will then examine your child’s teeth and study the x-rays to make sure there isn’t anything abnormal. Fluoride is applied at the end of the appointment, which helps protect the teeth from bacteria. Dental sealants, a plastic coating that is brushed on to the chewing surfaces of the molars, can also be applied to your child’s teeth. Sealants are highly recommended as another protective measure against harmful bacteria.
If any issues do come up in your child’s appointment, your dentist will explain the problem and discuss the proper steps to take in regards to your child’s treatment. If there is a cavity, treatment will likely include the need for a filling, or possibly a dental crown if the decay has taken over a larger portion of the tooth. If your dentist notices that your child’s teeth and jaw aren’t quite developing as they should, a visit to the orthodontist might be suggested for further evaluation. Your dentist might also have some orthodontic training and can provide the necessary treatment options for your child.
A back-to-school checkup is essential for your child to have a healthy start to the school year. Don’t forget the importance of at-home dental care, too. Help your child maintain those pearly whites by brushing and flossing each and every day until it’s time for their next checkup. Their health and their smile will be better off because of the care that is given to their teeth today.
6 Parenting Behaviors That Hurt Kids: How to Recognize & Fix Them
THE REALITY CHECK:
- Referees giving parents lollipops at youth hockey games to stop them from yelling at their kids.
- Teachers taking out insurance policies to defend themselves against parental lawsuits (“She gave my kid a B+ and ruined his Harvard chance!”)
- Moms socially engineering kid “cliques to feature only the ‘best’ and leaving out other Moms.”
No kidding! These are the stories I’ve been collecting and have shared on the TODAY show. And these are real issues that are affecting our children’s character. Here’s what to do. ENOUGH!
Parents behaving badly is a timeless problem, but there’s a modern-day category of ill-behaving Moms and Dads who could easily earn membership in the Parents Wall of Shame. Their actions are insensitive, manipulative and callous, but also impact kids. Make no mistake, uncivil adult behaviors affect children’s moral development. After all, kids learn values like compassion, honesty, sportsmanship, civility, and respect from example. And oh how today’s kids desperately need good role models! But grownup insensitivity also affects other parents who should be around supportive, civil-minded adults! Here are six bad parenting behaviors that are affecting our kids’ character …and solutions.
#1. The Braggart
New Child and Parent Motto: “Share and take turns.”
Whether it’s bragging about our kid’s grades, talent, or athletic feats, parents love to boast! One survey found that the average mom posts a whooping 1,000 photos of their child online before he turns five. Of course we are proud of our kids, but always bragging, constantly comparing, or continually dismissing other children’s accomplishments also lower the other parent’s confidence. Parental boasting and bragging may be one reason today’s teen narcissism increased 58 percent in 30 years. Watch out! Kids copy what they see and hear and it’s not always pretty and polite.
Solution: Parental pride is natural, so when a parent who rarely boasts finally does, she deserves our sincere “Congrats.” If bragging is usually one-sided and rarely considers your child’s accolades, try: “Isn’t it wonderful how well our kids are doing? Mine just…” (and then describe your pride).
But what if the parent continues her exclusive “My kid is so special” routine and you want to maintain your relationship? Speak up and explain your side: “You always brag about your child and never ask about mine. I feel you don’t care about my family.” If that doesn’t work, find another friend! Pride about our kids should always be a two-way club.
#2. The Bad Sport
New Child and Parent Motto: “Be a good sport or you can’t play.”
A Reuters News poll found that 60 percent of American adults who’d been to youth sporting events said they’d witnessed parents “become verbally or physically abusive towards the coaches or officials.” But there’s also parents screaming at their kids’ performance and booing the opposing team. No wonder nearly 75 percent of kids who play organized sports quit by age 13!
Yes, parents make huge investments in sports in hopes of scholarships and college entries, but bad behavior teaches poor sportsmanship and also undermine kids’ love for the game. Enough!
Solution: Unacceptable adult behavior can’t be ignored, but …
Confronting offensive parents can be a potential fireball. Better to move your seat, and approach cooled-down troublemakers later to share your concerns. Beware!
Many leagues and schools require parents to sign pre-season sportsmanship pledges and attend mandatory “ethics” courses or their kids can’t play. Spectators can then report inappropriate parental behavior to officials who can notify the offenders that uncivil behavior can mean banishment from games.
Meanwhile can we please be positive and remember to cheer the whole team, entire class, the other kid, not just our child? Please!
#3. The Gossip
New Child and Parent Motto: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it!”
Think Queen Bees were confined to the middle school hive? Many adults never outgrew their mean childhood antics and now gossip about other parents. Those sordid details also show up on social media with no way for parents to defend themselves. While gossiping can be a way to connect with others and find reassurance about your parenting, cattiness is toxic. It’s easy to get caught in the gossip mill and spread hurtful rumors. Beware: kids pick up our behavior and mimic us. It’s a big reason the Mean Girl Tween Scene is flourishing.
Solution: Make a vow not to gossip. If you do hear cattiness, speak up: ‘It isn’t fair to talk about her when she isn’t here to defend herself.” And never give out information that a catty parent can use against you or others or assume that she won’t spread untruths about you. Meanwhile, find like-minded parents and join forces. Together, you can change norms.
#4. The Excluder
New Child and Parent Motto: “How would you feel if that happened to you?”
Deliberately leaving others out is called social exclusion, and is a form of bullying that causes deep distress. It peaks in middle school, but the tactic is all-too common with moms these days (“She’s cool and can join us.” “Don’t let Shelley come!”) But the excluded aren’t only women, but also their kids. One report described one mom who saved eight bus seats for 11-year girls. (She literally jumped on the bus and roped off the seats!) When a new girl asked if she could join “those girls,” the child was told “Sorry, but those seats are reserved.” Adults who socially engineering the “in” and “out” cliques for kids, are being plain cruel.
Solution:
Just plain refuse to join grownup Queen Bees. The best way to cultivate empathy is for parents to demand that kids treat others with dignity, and then show that you are inclusive.
To other Moms: “Let’s invite her! She just moved here.” Do the same with your child: “Invite all the boys: you don’t leave one out.” “Ask Abby to come!” How would you feel as a new kid?”
You might not be BFFs with every mom, but you will set a great example for your child. And that’s what matters!
#5. The Non-Disciplinarian
New Child and Parent Motto: “Be nice, or you can’t play.”
“I don’t discipline because I don’t want to damage my child’s self-esteem,” I hear from countless parents. While wanting to be a “Pal Not a Parent” is a hot trend, correcting misbehavior is part of raising good people. So how do you discipline when a misbehaving child is in your care?
Solution: While you don’t want to counter a parent’s child-rearing philosophy, if behavior is dangerous, harmful to others (like hitting, biting, bullying) or counters your values, you can’t ignore it.
You can review your rules: “In our house we don’t swear,” and separate kids from each other, but spanking, grounding, or yelling the “other child” are off-limits.
If the parent is present, disciplining their child is also a no-no. If misbehavior continues, call the parent: “I’m sure you would want to know so this is what our kids were up to.” Her child will give his interpretation, so better it come from you. Just don’t expect the parent to take your side. Do beware parental litigations are rising. Manhattan play groups ask parents to sign four-page waivers so they won’t be sued when supervising the other parents’ kids! It’s a very different world to raise kids!
#6. The Bully
New Child and Parent Motto: “Expect respect!”
Bullying is hurtful whatever the age, and it is always intentional-delivered cruelty. Nightmare stories continually surface about parents verbally abusing other moms and dads-both online and off. Bullying is learned and can be unlearned. The sooner we show kids how to stand up for themselves, the less likely they’ll be targeted.
Solution: Use my CALM Strategy for handling a bully of any age.
C – Stay calm. (Bullies love reactions).
A – Assert yourself with a strong (never insulting) comeback back: “Cut it out.” Or: “Stop it!”
L – Look bully in the eye.
M – Mean it! Deliver the line with a firm, confident, serious voice.
Practicing CALM with your child will help reduce peer cruelty.
Raising good people starts with adults modeling good character, and many grown-ups are in need of serious behavior makeovers.
Meanwhile, let’s take our own Reality Check and ask ourselves: “If my kid watched only my behavior, what would he have caught today?” That answer will say volumes about your child’s character development.
What are your worst nightmare stories that involve parents? How did you handle them?
**************************************************************************************************************************
Teens today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago. Why is a lack of empathy—along with the self-absorption epidemic Dr. Michele Borba calls the Selfie Syndrome—so dangerous? First, it hurts kids’ academic performance and leads to bullying behaviors. Also, it correlates with more cheating and less resilience. And once children grow up, it hampers their ability to collaborate, innovate and problem-solve—all must-have skills for the global economy. The good news? Empathy is a trait that can be taught and nurtured. UnSelfie is a blueprint for parents and educators who want activate our children’s hearts and shift their focus from I, me, and mine… to we, us, and ours. It’s time to include “empathy” in our parenting and teaching! UnSelfie is AVAILABLE NOW at amazon.com.
Boredom vs. Structure: Is One “Better” for a Special Needs Child?
Last updated on August 9th, 2026 at 04:31 pm
There is a lot of parenting buzz about letting your kids be bored because only then will they tap into their imaginations and learn to be self-reliant. Childhood boredom can lead to many wonderful things like invented games, improvised plays and backyard expeditions. Then again, many children with special needs need structure. Some get very anxious when they are unsure where to go and what to do. Others get lost in time and distractions in ways that are not beneficial or can get up to activities that are destructive or unsafe. Throughout this article please understand that when I refer to unstructured time I never mean for it to mean unsupervised time. Safety is crucial! Also, this is not about boredom in school – this is about the summertime, weekend, hanging out at home type of boredom. So how do you balance your child’s need for structure with the healthy benefits of downtime?
I was faced with this dilemma of schedule vs. free time on only the fourth day of summer break, when my special needs child dramatically threw herself on my bed and sighed, “I’m bored.”
As always, take the unique needs of your child and your family into consideration. If you work, if your child is in a summer program or camp or if your child has a caregiver this may not all be up to you. You will need to get input from your child’s team to see how he or she tolerates unstructured time before you can decide how much boredom to allow at home.
Even when it seems like I am letting my kids hang around the house doing nothing, I always have a secret schedule in my mind and am always watching the clock and listening to the sibling rivalry. Sometimes I have to step in and redirect, sometimes I can let it play out. Sometimes I have to force them all to unplug, or go outside or read.
If your child needs structure and scheduling, try building some imagination time into the daily agenda. Start small, maybe ten minutes, and build the time up as your child can tolerate it. Knowing there is an end time may also help the child feel less anxious about free time.
Some children have trouble making choices. In this case you can schedule something like reading time or art time, but allow your child the choice of what book to read or what art materials to use. If that is too overwhelming, you can give your child two or three options and let them choose. Then stop giving the options. Eventually you can work up to giving your child bigger choices, like reading time or art time. Even using the phrase “play time” instead of “free time” may offer the child a hint about appropriate choices during this time. If the idea of unstructured time is very overwhelming to your child, brainstorm a list of things they could do during free time, then post it somewhere or keep it in a notebook so you can consult it as needed. You may even want to make a Boredom Jar so the suggested activities will be randomized when your child pulls one out.
As always, if unstructured time doesn’t work for your child right now that is fine, but as our kids grow up and we try to teach them to be independent you can revisit it at a later date.
What to Do if Your Child Loses a Baby Tooth Too Soon
Last updated on August 9th, 2026 at 04:32 pm
While baby teeth are not permanent and only last in a child’s mouth for a few years, they have an important role in the development of the jaw, muscles, and adult teeth. It is natural for baby teeth to fall out as the permanent teeth grow in to take their place. However, if a baby tooth is lost too soon, it can sometimes prevent proper development in the mouth. It may be necessary for your child to have a space maintainer put in to keep the space open until the permanent tooth comes in. This can save your child from extensive orthodontic work in the future.
Baby teeth can fall out early for a number of reasons. The most common causes are accidents resulting in tooth loss, or having to extract a baby tooth due to severe decay. Sometimes a baby tooth doesn’t even grow in at all. Whichever the case, an empty space in your child’s mouth can cause problems if the permanent tooth doesn’t grow in soon after. The teeth around the space can start to tilt and shift, resulting in insufficient space for the adult tooth to grow it.
A space maintainer can prevent improper development by keeping the space open until the permanent tooth grows in. There are several different types of space maintainers that can be used for treatment. Older children who are responsible in the care of their teeth might use a removable space maintainer. This appliance looks much like a retainer and is usually plastic. Other methods involve a fixed space maintainer, which is banded or cemented in place and is usually made of metal. Your dentist will help determine which type of space maintainer will work best for your child’s needs, and will make a custom appliance using impressions of your child’s teeth. The space maintainer is removed once the permanent tooth is ready to erupt.
If your child loses a tooth early, make an appointment with your dentist to discuss whether or not a space maintainer is necessary for development. While losing a baby tooth early does not always lead to complications, it is safe to have a professional’s opinion before letting it go too long. A space maintainer is a fairly simple solution to guiding teeth into place, and can prevent your child from having to endure a year or more of complicated orthodontic treatment.
When and How to Treat a Fever: a Pediatrician’s Perspective
Last updated on August 9th, 2026 at 04:33 pm
I have posted in the past about fever and many of the myths surrounding it (Kids Will Get Sick: 5 Facts a Pediatrician Wants You To Know). In this post I would like to deal with the causes, nature of fever, benefits of fever, and some “treatments”. It is one of the most common reasons people bring their children to the Emergency room and probably among the least significant reasons for doing so.
Fever is a symptom of an illness such as cough, runny nose, headache, and many others and, except for the discomfort of the associated symptoms (chills, achiness, drowsiness, etc.) fever, in and of itself, does not need to be treated. As far as what is the definition of fever, it depends on the age of your child or infant. Just about any fever in an infant less than 3 months of age is considered to be significant for the purpose of evaluation. As your baby/child gets older the level of fever at which the concern rises does so with the height of the fever and the associated symptoms. Beyond the immediate newborn period (up to age 3 months) fever (or better termed higher than normal body temperature) is generally considered to be over 100.4 to 100.5 Fahrenheit.
Fever is part of the immune reaction that your body goes through to identify the offending agent and muster the resources to fight off that agent. Some studies have shown that the presence of fever helps your body fight off the disease in a more rapid and efficient way. As such, it is easy to see that in fighting off an illness, the reduction of that fever for its own sake is not necessarily the best thing to do. As I mentioned in my last post about fever, if your child is very uncomfortable due to the presence of fever, it certainly is reasonable to give a medicine such as Tylenol or Advil, but not just because the fever is there.
In an effort to reduce fever by worried parents many methods have been tried; such as placing a child in a cold bath or sponging with cold water, even to go as far as placing ice packs in supposedly strategic places. This would seem logical at first blush but in fact, human beings have a very good method of warming a cold body, and that is shivering, wherein the muscles go into a hypermetabolic state producing heat by metabolic processes. It is possible to place someone with a fever in a cold bath and have him or her come out with a higher temperature than before the bath. So the reasonable approach to comfortably lower a fever is to undress a child with fever but not enough to stimulate chills or shivering, place your child in a warm (skin temperature) bath of only a few inches of water and sponge off your child frequently allowing for natural evaporative processes to cool the skin. Offer your child plenty of cool fluids that will do some cooling from within as well as keeping him/her well hydrated- fever will cause extra fluid loss through sweating and the hypermetabolic state. Do not wrap your child in blankets just to “sweat the fever out” as doing this may also inadvertently raise fever, and increase fluid loss and discomfort- certainly covering the child enough to relieve chills and shivering is appropriate for comfort.
In trying to determine whether someone who runs a lower than “normal” natural body temperature is running a fever, just use the reading you get with the thermometer as the difference between a normal temperature and one that “runs low” is very small and would not be significant medically. Furthermore body temperatures vary throughout the 24 hour day in the same person- so when that “normally low” body temperature was taken becomes important.
So you can almost expect fever to accompany any illness of an infectious nature whether mild or severe. Keep calm, it is not the fever that is important, but the appearance, behavior and the presence of certain other symptoms that your Doctor with be most interested in when you call his office.
