How to Talk to Your Kids About…Friendship

Although some children naturally handle friendship better than others, all kids need to be taught, and practice friendship skills. Kids grow into these skills and need help from parents and other adults to learn the rules of friendship.

How can we help our children learn these key skills?

Talk to your child about what makes a good friend. Kids don’t always know what it means to be a good friend. Make a friendship list with all the qualities of a good friend. Have them tell you what they think makes a good friend. Keep the list close and talk to your child about trying to be that kind of friend. Some possibilities to consider for your list:

Good friends have much in common. They are…

  • Helpful to others
  • Positive and Kind
  • Have the ability to share
  • Can keep confidences
  • Listen to others’ thoughts and ideas
  • Accept mistakes
  • Are good winners and losers
  • Can hold a conversation
  • Give and receive compliments

Role Play, Role Play, Role Play

Talk through scenarios like:

  • What do you do if you want to play with a group of friends who are already playing together? You observe first and then join in without interrupting or being pushy.
  • What if you ask a friend to play and they say “no”.
  • How would you feel if someone was mean to you?

This prepares your child for situations they are certain to face and teaches them empathy for others.

Talk about “Best Friends”

When we push our children to tell us about their “best friend”, we are subconsciously teaching them to exclude. We are teaching them there is a criteria for friendship. Talk about the need to be friends and accept everyone.

Model Friendship

Our children watch everything we do. Are we modeling good friendships skills?

We can model friendship skills when we play with our children. It is an opportunity to talk to them, and show them how to act. When they beat us at Candy Land, show them how to be a good loser. When we win, model how to be a good winner.

Talk about what to do when they are rejected by a friend.

  1. It is okay to move on. Encourage your child to put effort into friendships with children who reciprocate, and move on.
  2. Don’t say “I told you say.” Avoid talking about all the things your child did wrong. When a friendship goes south, we need to show extra love to our children. The rejection has already made them feel vulnerable; they don’t need us to add salt to the wounds.

Have a conversation about friendship with your child today.

Child Health & Safety News Roundup: 09-17-2012 to 09-23-2012

Welcome to Pediatric Safety’s weekly “Child Health & Safety News Roundup”- a recap of the past week’s child health and safety news headlines from around the world.

Each day we use Twitter to communicate relevant and timely health and safety information to the parents, medical professionals and other caregivers who follow us. Occasionally we may miss something, but we think overall we’re doing a pretty good job of keeping you informed. But for our friends and colleagues who are not on Twitter (or who are but may have missed something), we offer you a recap of the past week’s top 20 news-worthy events.

PedSafe Headline of the Week:

FDA expands alert on feeding infants SimplyThick – PLS check article for list of symptoms of necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC), if using this product http://t.co/LBofJ41c

Great News Needle-phobic Parents: New Flu Shot Uses Tiny Needle

If you are among the many moms and dads who are scared of needles, this year’s flu shot might be a lot less scary. Ninety percent less scary, that is!

Have you seen the cute Fluzone hedgehog commercial? The new intradermal needle is 90% shorter!

The new intradermal flu vaccine uses a 90% smaller needle to inject the vaccine into the skin, instead of muscle. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the intradermal vaccine not only requires a smaller needle but it has 40% less antigen that the regular flu shot while still being as effective as the traditional vaccine. Antigen is the part of the vaccine that helps your body build protection against flu viruses and since each intradermal vaccine requires less than the traditional shot, more doses can be made from the same amount of antigen.

The intradermal vaccine is designed to protect against the three strains of flu deemed most likely to be the most prevalent this flu season as determined by flu research. It is recommended for adults ages 18 through 64. Unfortunately, it has not yet been approved for children younger than 18, but the traditional flu vaccine shot and nasal spray flu vaccines are still available for those who fall outside the age range for the intradermal shot. Consult the CDC Seasonal Influenza guidelines to help you decide which form of the vaccine is appropriate for you and your family members, and if you have any concerns, consult your healthcare provider.

Flu season typically peaks in the winter months, but the CDC recommends getting vaccinated as soon as the influenza vaccine is available, since it can take two weeks for your body to develop the necessary antibodies to protect you. With flu shots widely available at doctor’s offices, pharmacies and flu shot clinics, it is more convenient and easier than ever to get vaccinated and protect yourself and your family from the flu this season.

For more information about the intradermal and traditional flu vaccines, please visit the CDC for up to date seasonal flu information.

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Editor’s Note: For those of you with little ones whose needle-phobia rivals your own, consider reading the story of Buzzy by Dr Amy Baxter. Not only did she create an innovative way to help reduce the pain of getting a shot but she also has some terrific hints to help overcome your child’s stress before and during their visit to the doctor).

Now it’s a little easier for all of you to be brave – so go ahead and get your flu shots…and have a safe and healthy winter. 🙂

Sat. Sept 22, AMC Sensory Friendly Films will show Finding Nemo

Once a month, AMC Entertainment (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and with other special needs ”Sensory Friendly Movie Screenings“ – a wonderful opportunity to enjoy their favorite “family-friendly” films in a safe and accepting environment.

The movie auditoriums will have their lights turned up and the sound turned down. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.

Does it make a difference? Absolutely! “It can be challenging enough to bring ANY child to a movie theater” says PedSafe Special Needs Parenting Expert Rosie Reeves. “For a parent with a special needs child attempting an outing like this may seem overwhelming. And yet getting out, being with the community and sharing in an experience with an audience can be invaluable for just such children”.

On Saturday September 22nd at 10am local time, Finding Nemo will be screened as part of the Autism Society “Sensory Friendly Movie Screenings” program (although not in 3D for our Sensory Friendly audiences). Tickets are $4 to $6 depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).

Coming October 13th: Frankenweenie

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Editor’s note: Although Finding Nemo has been chosen by the Autism Society as this month’s Sensory Friendly screening, and is rated G by the Motion Picture Association of America, we do want parents to know that it does include some mild violence and potentially frightening scenes. As always, please check the IMDB Parent’s Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your child.

Child Health & Safety News Roundup: 09-10-2012 to 09-16-2012

Welcome to Pediatric Safety’s weekly “Child Health & Safety News Roundup”- a recap of the past week’s child health and safety news headlines from around the world.

Each day we use Twitter to communicate relevant and timely health and safety information to the parents, medical professionals and other caregivers who follow us. Occasionally we may miss something, but we think overall we’re doing a pretty good job of keeping you informed. But for our friends and colleagues who are not on Twitter (or who are but may have missed something), we offer you a recap of the past week’s top 25 news-worthy events.

PedSafe Headline of the Week:

First Pediatric Study to Look at the Role of Vitamin D in Critical Illness http://t.co/y1aBmqXw

My Child Has Been Bullying Someone Online – What Now?

Learning that your child has been cyberbullying another child can be overwhelming. Emotions like shock, denial, embarrassment are normal, but they need to be set aside as your focus should be on doing everything in your power to rectify the situation and help your child learn from their mistake.

There are three important factors to consider when doing this. First, action needs to be taken on your child’s part to set things right. Second, there needs to be a discussion between you and your child about the consequences of cyberbullying—they are very real and potentially very serious. And third, there are some steps you can take at home to help prevent this from happening again.

Helping your child apologize:

  1. A face-to-face apology to the victim and his/her parents is much more meaningful than a phone call or email. I recommend accompanying your child when they do this.
  2. If other children were involved in the same cyberbullying incident, then you and your child should alert the other parents so they can respond appropriately.
  3. Your child should delete the offensive material that was shared online and replace it with an apologetic comment.

Discussing the consequences of cyberbullying:

  1. While cyberbullying laws vary by state and school district, a cyberbullying offense has the potential to result in academic expulsion. If the case is severe, misdemeanor or felony charges could apply, potentially ruining your child’s chances of getting into college or landing a job in the future.
  2. If your child is a minor, you may find yourself sued for libel due to your child’s online actions.
  3. In the end, knowing the consequences can help your child learn valuable life lessons.

Five ways to prevent this from happening again:

  1. Limit the amount of time your child spends online, and when necessary take breaks from technology altogether. Remember, a steady balance of indoor and outdoor activity is essential to a healthy mind.
  2. Invest in parental monitoring software. This can be a great way to stay aware of concerning activity on their computer or smartphone. A lot of software products push information to you in real-time, allowing you to be proactive versus reactive.
  3. Implement a family technology contract. This will help your children have a clear understanding of the rules related to their use of technology, and consequences for breaking those rules.
  4. Remind your child that it is never, ever okay to be disrespectful, hurtful or mean to another person, online or offline.
  5. Finally, give your child a hug. Remind them how much you love them. Let them know your first job is to be their parent and that you’re there to help them learn from their mistakes.