3 Ways Food Allergy Parents Can Exhale

Parenting is always difficult and comes with no instructions. There will be moments of joy but also moments of complete fear and anxiety. Imagine being the parent of a child who has life threatening food allergies where every bite of food must be checked and double-checked. Now repeat this for the rest of your life. Does it sound a bit like parenting to the max with even less time of feeling that you are doing everything right? It can be but it can also be a learning experience that will not only strengthen your feelings of being a parent but also the way your food allergic child views you.

The most important thing to remember is that every single parent feels that they never fully guide their child the right way. Regardless of anyone’s situation, any mother and father will most definitely give you the list of what they feel are their flaws. There is no perfect situation for anyone, no way to ensure that what you do each and every day will be the best of what you should have done. What you can make sure of is to realize your best each day, each hour, each minute is the best that you were capable of doing for that time and that will always be okay. You may argue this within your thoughts … you will argue this within your own thoughts and that is also acceptable. We cannot grow if we do not question.

How do parents, especially food allergy parents, learn to let go and exhale while still being the best parent that they can be? Here are three simple tips that anyone can try:

• Put Your Accomplishments on the Map For food allergy parents, any outing or vacation can be stressful. The thought of reaching outside of your family’s comfort zone can cause anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and sometimes even a loss of allowing yourself to be adventurous. We tend to want to stay within our safe bubble because that is where situations can be more regulated. When it comes to having safe foods, it is a big step to visit a foreign country where language may be a barrier to safety vs. dining in your own kitchen. Luckily, there are ways to travel, dine safely and even share your explorations with other people that share the same fears. Imagine flying to a country and having your own allergy translation card in hand to give you the extra freedom to travel. Now imagine sharing this with millions of others who are curious about where to go and how to do it. Food allergy parents find comfort in having their child prepared. Whether they need to advocate for their child or their food allergic child is ready to speak for themselves, having a food allergy translation card and an ID Card are key to food safety anywhere (local and otherwise). Praise your family’s accomplishments by sharing your journey to inspire others to travel as well. Your life may not feel perfect, but it will always be a journey to improve and enjoy.
• Take a Night Off This probably sounds nearly impossible with schedules, food limitations and other daily family routines. With a bit of additional communication, it can be done. Food allergy parents cook a lot- more than the average parent for safety reasons. Although this can be viewed as a stepping stone to learning more about the food that we eat and how to nourish your food allergic child, everyone needs a break occasionally. It may even feel like a guilty pleasure, but it is imperative that understanding that time off is not selfish, it is self-love and self-preservation to recharge. One option is to hire a personal chef to come to your home for the night and prepare dinner for the family. While this may sound impossible to a food allergy parent, companies such as CookinGenie are a very affordable option which are not much more than what someone would spend on a very nice dinner at a restaurant. These services typically include a personal chef who shop, cook, serve and even clean up for you. While their chefs offer menus for a pick and choose option, these menus can also be tailored to dietary needs. The experience is relaxing and the best part- you and your allergic child can see a chef in action as they prep your evening’s meal.
• Ask Your Allergic Child for Help Food allergy parents- please read and reread that. Asking for help is always exceedingly difficult for any parent. Asking your food allergic child for help does not show weakness- it encourages responsibility, creativity and better communication. The earlier that you have your food allergic child involved in what needs to be done to keep them safe, the less all of you will stress about it. It will become part of your daily routine and give some of the obligation to your child. How does this help? Children are encouraged to think about new ways to utilize their safe foods. Helping increases their individuality for things such as packing their own lunch, preparing safe snacks for a trip, and even suggesting new foods to try when they see a new allergy-friendly product become available. Sharing that even mom and dad need help gives them the strength to know that they can always ask for help as well without feeling discouraged or ashamed. It is absolutely okay to want to do everything yourself but it is not okay to have to do everything yourself.

In summary, if your child sees you stressed, they will stress. If your child sees you struggling, they will feel it too. These little creatures that we create are so more observant than we give them credit for. In a society that often teaches us to always be strong, always be take-charge why not change the rules? Your life is not everyone’s life and it should be on your own terms. Happiness can be felt just as much as stress can. Make sure your child feels more of the happiness.

Kids Flying Alone: Make it Safe, Hassle-free and Fun

My son achieved a big milestone – his first solo flight – at the tender age of eight! Not that he flew a plane by himself, but he joined the ranks of what airlines call “unaccompanied minors”; a kid at least 5-years old flying without an accompanying adult. Considering we don’t even let him ride his bike to the other end of the neighborhood unaccompanied, this was a pretty big deal.

Sending your children on a flight on their own can feel risky, but the airlines all have secure procedures for handling solo minors, and the benefits for far-flung extended or divorced families can be significant. While airlines levy charges for minding your kids, it’s easier and generally cheaper than flying with them. But despite the benefits, the process isn’t entirely straightforward. I didn’t have much of a clue what to expect the first time we took advantage of this service, and having just recently done it a second time – on a different airline – I’ve realized that parents need to be well informed before preparing to send their kids into the great blue yonder.

Overview of the Basics

There are no federal government regulations for travel by unaccompanied minors (UM), so airline policies vary on several dimensions (e.g. booking process, age requirements, fees, eligible schedules, etc). Unaccompanied minor service gets your children safely boarded and deplaned, alerts gate staff and flight attendants to their status, and provides oversight during connections. It does NOT include constant monitoring throughout the flights. For a good summary of airline policies and more helpful advice, see this US Department of Transportation brochure.

Generally carriers allow children to fly alone on direct and non-stop flights at the age of five; however, many will only allow journeys on connecting flights for kids at least age 8. Several airlines require UM procedures/fees through age 11, though some require this through age 14. Most airlines make the process optional for older kids and teens, though I have to say I don’t think I would feel comfortable letting my son travel alone at age 12 or 13 without the UM procedures. Some airlines allow travel on international flights, but others do not. Fees for unaccompanied travel are typically $50-$150 EACH way – so it pays to shop around. Thankfully, airlines only charge the one fee even if you have multiple minors flying.

Despite all the procedures, being eligible to fly alone is different than being ready to do so. How do you determine whether this is a good idea for your children? In our case, our son, Elliott, had flown with us many times and had become a pro at the process. He knew about seat belt lights, staying in his seat for extended periods during take-off and landing, and that electronics can only be used once up in the air. What clinched our decision is that on a family trip earlier in the year we couldn’t get seats all together. A passenger offered to move for us, but Elliott was adamant he wanted to sit by himself. He ended up having a merry time – as did his adult seatmates who told me afterwards that he really kept them entertained. He even got them playing a board game with him!

Booking Flights

Unaccompanied minor flights must be booked directly with the relevant airline. Travel sites such as Expedia and Orbitz won’t accept these reservations however it can help to check them first to determine who has the best routes and fares. Once you’ve chosen a flight/airline, MAKE SURE to visit that airline’s website and review their rules for unaccompanied minors – your choices may not fit their requirements. For example, many carriers prohibit UM kids from traveling on or connecting to the last flight of the day. Problems can arise if a child is stranded overnight as most hotels will not accept minors age 17 or younger to register.

You can often book the flights on the airline’s site – some require that you do – but you will then need to call and speak to an agent to finalize the paperwork and extra fees (some airlines allow you to pay the UM fee when booking, others will only take payment at check in….go figure?!). If you are booking with an agent via the phone, have your flight choices and prices at hand – they may not offer the cheapest or connecting flights even when allowed (and they may not be familiar with the airline’s unaccompanied minor policies).

This process requires a lot of information and documentation – both at booking and on the actual day of flight. Be sure to gather all the requirements BEFORE making the reservations – and ensure the designated adults have copies of the information and documents with them at departure and arrival.

Information Requirements:

• Full name, address and home/daytime contact numbers for adults responsible for BOTH drop off and pick-up
• Be sure the designated adult’s name is EXACTLY as listed on their government-issued photo ID – the address on the ID should also match (our son’s grandfather was picking him up at arrival so we had him send us a scanned picture of his license to be sure we had the correct details)
• Proof of age – several airlines want to ensure your children have reached the age requirements for the journey, so you should plan to bring copies of their birth certificates – and include copies in their baggage for the return flight

Departure and Arrival

Be sure to arrive at the airport with your children in plenty of time for the extended check-in procedures for unaccompanied minors (about 90 minutes prior to departure). You will have to complete and sign paperwork regarding your kids’ travel and the person designated to meet them at arrival. You will be given an official envelope containing this documentation, all boarding passes and baggage claim tags – which you will hand over to the airline representative at the departure gate. A flight attendant will keep this envelope safe during the flight.

Your kids will be fitted with wristbands or other type of badges indicating they are UMs and the airline they are flying. You will receive a gate pass so you can escort them to the flight. Make sure you have your ID with you and be prepared to go through airport security just as if you were traveling – no banned items in your pockets or purse…and make sure you wear no-hassle shoes. I’m speaking from experience here! Once past security you might want to buy your kids something to eat and take care of bathroom breaks.

Alert airline gate staff that you have minors traveling alone – they should be expecting them. Staff will take the travel envelope and accompany your children and any other minors onto the flight. If you’re like me, be careful to limit excessive motherly PDA when saying goodbye! Then settle down for a significant wait. Airlines require you to stay at the gate until the plane has taxied away – or even taken off – which can take considerable time. Keep this in mind when traveling to the airport. Anyone with you will need to wait in the terminal since only one adult will be allowed through to the gate. Like I said, the process isn’t exactly straightforward.

At the arrival airport, again only ONE person will be given a gate pass to meet the incoming flight. This person must be the adult designated on your children’s travel form – no last minute changes are allowed. And be sure the person meeting your kids arrives at the airport well ahead of the scheduled arrival time. There are no electronic terminals for gate passes so they’ll have to wait in line to see an agent. I was almost late meeting my son’s plane last time as it landed 20 minutes earlier than scheduled. But despite the challenges, some advance planning and research will ensure a big adventure for your kids and low stress for you.

Flying on My Own – A Kid’s-eye View

 

Hi. My name is Elliott and I’m 9 years old. I have flown by myself twice. Although I’ve been on planes many times with my parents, it’s cool when I fly alone. I feel so independent, with no one to tell me what to do. I played with toys and read on my first flight, but I just slept the second time because I had to get up so early that morning.

 

You get a wristband on your arm to show you’re unaccompanied (I kept mine on for 2 months after my trip!). Then you get on the plane first and the flight attendant tells you to push the HELP button if you need anything, and to fasten your seat belt and stay seated while the seat belt sign is on. People always talk to you – they ask your name, how old you are, and if you’ve ever done this before. Some flights give the kids traveling alone a special treat – but not all.

 

You’ll really love flying on your own. You’ll miss your parents a little – I wonder what mine are doing while I’m on the plane…whether they’re having fun or bored – but you’ll get over it. And some flights take a long time, so it’s hard to sit still. Take lots of activities with you – I recommend small board games or portable video games, a notebook/pencil to draw or write with, and lots of Pokémon cards! And try to get a window seat – it’s very entertaining to look out. If you’re going somewhere warm you can count how many yards have pools!

 

There’s not much to worry about – but I got scared once when I read the safety manual and thought about us landing in an ocean and being surrounded by great white sharks. But then I just went back to what I was doing before and forgot about it. The End.

6 Parenting Behaviors That Hurt Kids: How to Recognize & Fix Them

THE REALITY CHECK:

• Referees giving parents lollipops at youth hockey games to stop them from yelling at their kids.
• Teachers taking out insurance policies to defend themselves against parental lawsuits (“She gave my kid a B+ and ruined his Harvard chance!”)
• Moms socially engineering kid “cliques to feature only the ‘best’ and leaving out other Moms.”

No kidding! These are the stories I’ve been collecting and have shared on the TODAY show. And these are real issues that are affecting our children’s character. Here’s what to do. ENOUGH!

Parents behaving badly is a timeless problem, but there’s a modern-day category of ill-behaving Moms and Dads who could easily earn membership in the Parents Wall of Shame. Their actions are insensitive, manipulative and callous, but also impact kids. Make no mistake, uncivil adult behaviors affect children’s moral development. After all, kids learn values like compassion, honesty, sportsmanship, civility, and respect from example. And oh how today’s kids desperately need good role models! But grownup insensitivity also affects other parents who should be around supportive, civil-minded adults! Here are six bad parenting behaviors that are affecting our kids’ character …and solutions.

#1. The Braggart

New Child and Parent Motto: “Share and take turns.”

Whether it’s bragging about our kid’s grades, talent, or athletic feats, parents love to boast! One survey found that the average mom posts a whooping 1,000 photos of their child online before he turns five. Of course we are proud of our kids, but always bragging, constantly comparing, or continually dismissing other children’s accomplishments also lower the other parent’s confidence. Parental boasting and bragging may be one reason today’s teen narcissism increased 58 percent in 30 years. Watch out! Kids copy what they see and hear and it’s not always pretty and polite.

Solution: Parental pride is natural, so when a parent who rarely boasts finally does, she deserves our sincere “Congrats.” If bragging is usually one-sided and rarely considers your child’s accolades, try: “Isn’t it wonderful how well our kids are doing? Mine just…” (and then describe your pride).

But what if the parent continues her exclusive “My kid is so special” routine and you want to maintain your relationship? Speak up and explain your side: “You always brag about your child and never ask about mine. I feel you don’t care about my family.” If that doesn’t work, find another friend! Pride about our kids should always be a two-way club.

#2. The Bad Sport

New Child and Parent Motto: “Be a good sport or you can’t play.”

A Reuters News poll found that 60 percent of American adults who’d been to youth sporting events said they’d witnessed parents “become verbally or physically abusive towards the coaches or officials.” But there’s also parents screaming at their kids’ performance and booing the opposing team. No wonder nearly 75 percent of kids who play organized sports quit by age 13!

Yes, parents make huge investments in sports in hopes of scholarships and college entries, but bad behavior teaches poor sportsmanship and also undermine kids’ love for the game. Enough!

Solution: Unacceptable adult behavior can’t be ignored, but …

Confronting offensive parents can be a potential fireball. Better to move your seat, and approach cooled-down troublemakers later to share your concerns. Beware!

Many leagues and schools require parents to sign pre-season sportsmanship pledges and attend mandatory “ethics” courses or their kids can’t play. Spectators can then report inappropriate parental behavior to officials who can notify the offenders that uncivil behavior can mean banishment from games.

Meanwhile can we please be positive and remember to cheer the whole team, entire class, the other kid, not just our child? Please!

#3. The Gossip

New Child and Parent Motto: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it!”

Think Queen Bees were confined to the middle school hive? Many adults never outgrew their mean childhood antics and now gossip about other parents. Those sordid details also show up on social media with no way for parents to defend themselves. While gossiping can be a way to connect with others and find reassurance about your parenting, cattiness is toxic. It’s easy to get caught in the gossip mill and spread hurtful rumors. Beware: kids pick up our behavior and mimic us. It’s a big reason the Mean Girl Tween Scene is flourishing.

Solution: Make a vow not to gossip. If you do hear cattiness, speak up: ‘It isn’t fair to talk about her when she isn’t here to defend herself.” And never give out information that a catty parent can use against you or others or assume that she won’t spread untruths about you. Meanwhile, find like-minded parents and join forces. Together, you can change norms.

#4. The Excluder

New Child and Parent Motto: “How would you feel if that happened to you?”

Deliberately leaving others out is called social exclusion, and is a form of bullying that causes deep distress. It peaks in middle school, but the tactic is all-too common with moms these days (“She’s cool and can join us.” “Don’t let Shelley come!”) But the excluded aren’t only women, but also their kids. One report described one mom who saved eight bus seats for 11-year girls. (She literally jumped on the bus and roped off the seats!) When a new girl asked if she could join “those girls,” the child was told “Sorry, but those seats are reserved.” Adults who socially engineering the “in” and “out” cliques for kids, are being plain cruel.

Solution:

Just plain refuse to join grownup Queen Bees. The best way to cultivate empathy is for parents to demand that kids treat others with dignity, and then show that you are inclusive.

To other Moms: “Let’s invite her! She just moved here.” Do the same with your child: “Invite all the boys: you don’t leave one out.” “Ask Abby to come!” How would you feel as a new kid?”

You might not be BFFs with every mom, but you will set a great example for your child. And that’s what matters!

#5. The Non-Disciplinarian

New Child and Parent Motto: “Be nice, or you can’t play.”

“I don’t discipline because I don’t want to damage my child’s self-esteem,” I hear from countless parents. While wanting to be a “Pal Not a Parent” is a hot trend, correcting misbehavior is part of raising good people. So how do you discipline when a misbehaving child is in your care?

Solution: While you don’t want to counter a parent’s child-rearing philosophy, if behavior is dangerous, harmful to others (like hitting, biting, bullying) or counters your values, you can’t ignore it.

You can review your rules: “In our house we don’t swear,” and separate kids from each other, but spanking, grounding, or yelling the “other child” are off-limits.

If the parent is present, disciplining their child is also a no-no. If misbehavior continues, call the parent: “I’m sure you would want to know so this is what our kids were up to.” Her child will give his interpretation, so better it come from you. Just don’t expect the parent to take your side. Do beware parental litigations are rising. Manhattan play groups ask parents to sign four-page waivers so they won’t be sued when supervising the other parents’ kids! It’s a very different world to raise kids!

#6. The Bully

New Child and Parent Motto: “Expect respect!”

Bullying is hurtful whatever the age, and it is always intentional-delivered cruelty. Nightmare stories continually surface about parents verbally abusing other moms and dads-both online and off. Bullying is learned and can be unlearned. The sooner we show kids how to stand up for themselves, the less likely they’ll be targeted.

Solution: Use my CALM Strategy for handling a bully of any age.

C – Stay calm. (Bullies love reactions).

A – Assert yourself with a strong (never insulting) comeback back: “Cut it out.” Or: “Stop it!”

L – Look bully in the eye.

M – Mean it! Deliver the line with a firm, confident, serious voice.

Practicing CALM with your child will help reduce peer cruelty.

Raising good people starts with adults modeling good character, and many grown-ups are in need of serious behavior makeovers.

Meanwhile, let’s take our own Reality Check and ask ourselves: “If my kid watched only my behavior, what would he have caught today?” That answer will say volumes about your child’s character development.

What are your worst nightmare stories that involve parents? How did you handle them?

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Teens today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago. Why is a lack of empathy—along with the self-absorption epidemic Dr. Michele Borba calls the Selfie Syndrome—so dangerous? First, it hurts kids’ academic performance and leads to bullying behaviors. Also, it correlates with more cheating and less resilience. And once children grow up, it hampers their ability to collaborate, innovate and problem-solve—all must-have skills for the global economy. The good news? Empathy is a trait that can be taught and nurtured. UnSelfie is a blueprint for parents and educators who want activate our children’s hearts and shift their focus from I, me, and mine… to we, us, and ours. It’s time to include “empathy” in our parenting and teaching! UnSelfie is AVAILABLE NOW at amazon.com.

Trampolines & Jump Centers: Fun but Risky, Parents Beware

By now I am pretty sure that all of us have either seen the ads for or been to one of the many trampoline centers popping up in a town near you. Or you are one of the many homes in American that have a trampoline in the yard. While I personally have nothing against trampolines, being in the EMS field I am always aware of the dangers they pose and what kind of injuries they would present with. While your own personal trampoline or the ones at the jumping center are a lot of fun there are some numbers I think you should have and recommendations you should be aware of before letting the kids bounce away.

The Statistics.

Nearly 100,000 people a year were sent to the ER with trampoline related injuries from 2010- 2014 and about a third of those were with broken bones and 92% of those were in children under 16. Injuries of the head and spinal cord were also reported in that time and represent the smallest amount but the most severe. In an American Academy of Pediatrics study they found that fractures were more common in younger children than adolescents and children under 6 years of age actually had the highest percentage of fractures with 47.8%. The study also revealed that while trampoline injures at home stayed around the same average per year, there is a growing and alarming number of injuries at trampoline parks with the national trend getting higher and higher.

The Recommendations.

The safety recommendations for trampolines are the same over a number of different studies. The American Academy of Pediatrics went to far as to recommend against the recreational use of trampolines for children in 2012, But seeing as how people are jumping now more than ever, they have put together a list of things you can do to keep your children and yourself as safe as possible while jumping. The recommendations are:

• Adult supervision at ALL times.
• Only 1 jumper on the trampoline at a time. Most injuries occur with multiple jumpers.
• No Flipping. Safety rules may vary at trampoline centers. Please check the rules before jumping.
• Adequate padding on the trampoline, all of its exposed parts. Frame, springs, poles. As well as Padding on the floor around the trampoline.
• Checking all equipment before jumping.
• Having the trampoline at ground level if possible.
• Having the trampoline clear of any overhead obstructions: Trees, Lines, Poles, House.

What to do.

Should an injury occur on a trampoline what to do will depend on the severity of the injury, but as I always tell people, if the thought to call 911 crosses your mind, go ahead and do it. Some injuries may be minor and require nothing more than some ice and elevation, but should the injury involve the head, neck, or spine, a loss of consciousness, or broken bones, then please let EMS handle it. They are trained and prepared to deal with these types of injuries.

As, always I hope you have a fun and happy summer and above all be safe!

One [Cybersafety] Rule to Rule Them All

Have your children ever done something that you specifically told them not to do? Did you ever do something that your parents told you not to do when you were a child? The answer to both of those questions is probably yes. That’s why I never recommend that parents give their kids an order about cybersafety that is too restrictive.

Examples of this would be forbidding them from installing a given app or banning them from using a device or app as a punishment for a previous incident. As parents, we need to protect our kids, but the only way to do that completely would be to lock them away in a virtual prison and never allow them access to the Internet. Not exactly a practical solution.

I think it’s fair to say that many parents are concerned about what might happen to their kids when they’re online. We’ve all heard of horrific stories involving cyberbullying, sextortion, posting inappropriate content, etc. The natural reaction is to prohibit, even for a short time, their ability to use technology, often for a long time. I think that’s the worst thing that a parent can do.

The problem is that if something bad does happen to them, the child now has two reasons not to come to their parents for help. They may already fear getting into trouble in the first place for what happened, but whether they do or not, they are sure that they will get into trouble for doing something that their parents expressly forbid them from doing.

If this does happen, the potential for disaster grows exponentially because the chances of them coming to their parents for help go down with each passing second. I’ve seen this happen with people I know.

What Parents Should Do Instead

Instead, parents should concentrate on teaching their children the proper use of technology and the ramifications of using it improperly.

As a backup plan, all children should develop a HELP Network to help them through their online (and offline) problems:

Children should start by Heeding their instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Granted, wisdom takes time, which is something by their very nature, they don’t have a lot of at this point of their life.

Next, they should Establish their inner circle. If a child is too afraid to speak to their parents about something that happens online, they need to have someone in their circle that they can speak to about it. This can be a teacher, pastor, neighbor or an older sibling (who may have gone through something similar already).

Once the inner circle is there, they need to Let someone in that circle know what is happening.

Finally, they need to Protect their friends if they need it. Reaching out to friends in advance or when they see their friends acting out of character, they should offer whatever help they can provide. Even if they can’t help them directly, they can help by letting them know that they’re not alone in this and may be able to direct them to someone in their own HELP Network who can help them as well.

Remember, the goal is to make it possible for the child to get help before things get out of hand, not to make them fear possible discipline.

Boredom vs. Structure: Is One “Better” for a Special Needs Child?

There is a lot of parenting buzz about letting your kids be bored because only then will they tap into their imaginations and learn to be self-reliant. Childhood boredom can lead to many wonderful things like invented games, improvised plays and backyard expeditions. Then again, many children with special needs need structure. Some get very anxious when they are unsure where to go and what to do. Others get lost in time and distractions in ways that are not beneficial or can get up to activities that are destructive or unsafe. Throughout this article please understand that when I refer to unstructured time I never mean for it to mean unsupervised time. Safety is crucial! Also, this is not about boredom in school – this is about the summertime, weekend, hanging out at home type of boredom. So how do you balance your child’s need for structure with the healthy benefits of downtime?

I was faced with this dilemma of schedule vs. free time on only the fourth day of summer break, when my special needs child dramatically threw herself on my bed and sighed, “I’m bored.”

As always, take the unique needs of your child and your family into consideration. If you work, if your child is in a summer program or camp or if your child has a caregiver this may not all be up to you. You will need to get input from your child’s team to see how he or she tolerates unstructured time before you can decide how much boredom to allow at home.

Even when it seems like I am letting my kids hang around the house doing nothing, I always have a secret schedule in my mind and am always watching the clock and listening to the sibling rivalry. Sometimes I have to step in and redirect, sometimes I can let it play out. Sometimes I have to force them all to unplug, or go outside or read.

If your child needs structure and scheduling, try building some imagination time into the daily agenda. Start small, maybe ten minutes, and build the time up as your child can tolerate it. Knowing there is an end time may also help the child feel less anxious about free time.

Some children have trouble making choices. In this case you can schedule something like reading time or art time, but allow your child the choice of what book to read or what art materials to use. If that is too overwhelming, you can give your child two or three options and let them choose. Then stop giving the options. Eventually you can work up to giving your child bigger choices, like reading time or art time. Even using the phrase “play time” instead of “free time” may offer the child a hint about appropriate choices during this time. If the idea of unstructured time is very overwhelming to your child, brainstorm a list of things they could do during free time, then post it somewhere or keep it in a notebook so you can consult it as needed. You may even want to make a Boredom Jar so the suggested activities will be randomized when your child pulls one out.

As always, if unstructured time doesn’t work for your child right now that is fine, but as our kids grow up and we try to teach them to be independent you can revisit it at a later date.