When Should I Get My Child a Dog…and What Should We Get?

A few years back I wrote an article about what was the best age to get your child s dog and what breed you should get. Apparently over the last few years, this article has been viewed numerous times, so our editor asked me to go over it, update it a bit and maybe add a few more ideas along the way. For those of you who read the original article, I hope you find the add-ons helpful; for those of you reading it for the first time, I hope you also find it helpful and informative.

Over the many years I have been working with dogs and their people, I have heard so many different responses to this same question: “I promised my son a dog when he was old enough to take care of it” and “I told my daughter if she does well on her report card, we would get her a dog” and I have also seen the after-effects of this; the child reached the age the parent thought was necessary for them to get the dog, now the dog is used as a threat… “It’s your dog…. You wanted him and promised to take care of him. If you don’t clean up after him, we’re getting rid of him.” I have even had multiple customers call, asking me to take the dog to my house as a way to ‘show the child we mean business.”

So, let me explain a few things to help you make an informed decision on when it is right for your family to have a dog, and what dog might best suit your family. First, notice I said ‘for your family to have a dog.’ It is not realistic to think any child can be completely responsible for the care and well-being of a dog. While a child can help with many responsibilities, always remember… you will be the primary care taker. Ultimately, the right age for your family to get a dog is when it is something you want and you are ready for the commitment.

Similarly, I have also been asked many times over the years about getting a second dog… usually the typical time I am asked about this is when the kids are old enough to go to school full time and the stay-at-home parent is going back to work, and they think Fido needs a companion. We dog trainers have a saying about this, “Never get your dog a dog.” If you want a second dog and are ready for the commitment of a second dog, that is fine. But there are a few things to keep in mind:

• There is no guarantee that your current dog will be as excited about another dog living in their home as you expected him to be.
• If you think Fido is going to train the second dog, you are going to be very disappointed. If they do get along, and all is fine, while there are certain things the new dog will learn from Fido, they still need to be taught by you how to behave and follow commands.
• Seriously reflect on the training you did with your first dog… If your reason for getting another dog is because you do not have as much time for the first dog as you would like, and therefore think they may be lonely, ask yourself realistically if you are going to have the time to do the necessary training for dog number two!

If you have made the decision that you want (and are ready for) a dog (or a second dog), the next step is research. Learn what you can about the different dog breeds. It is not enough to Google something like “Best Dogs For Kids.” It is not a bad place to start… and may list some breeds that are generally not good with kids, like a Chow Chow or a Lhasa Apso, but it is way too general. Just like every child is different, so is every dog. You want to do this prior to walking into a shelter or finding a breeder because these places have a way of tugging at your heart-strings, and the majority of the time, you will end up getting a dog on impulse. Whether it is because you couldn’t bear to leave the dog there, or because it is just so adorable… Remember, all puppies are adorable, but just like your kids, they grow up. So having a basic knowledge of dog breeds will help in your decision. Also, you don’t want to choose one for an individual family member (yourself included) but decide on what is going to be best for the entire family.

I had a friend that had decided to get a puppy, only she insisted it had to be very tiny… what they call a ‘teacup’ Yorkshire Terrier. She had a two year old and a four year old. I told her I did not think this was a great breed for her specific family. When she insisted she had always wanted one, I told her, “If you had always wanted a two seat convertible, and you were pregnant, would this be an ideal car for you?” Sometimes you can get away with saying things to a friend to get your point across that you just couldn’t say to a customer!

So how do you choose?

I have compiled a list of some important questions that may aid you in your decision making process.

• What are your children’s ages? This is an important question because if you have a small or young child, a tiny dog might not be the best choice for you, as it wasn’t for my friend. Why not? Because little kids’ hands are often unsteady, or move very quickly… two things that can frighten a small dog, or make them feel like their safety is threatened. This is when they tend to go into the ‘fight or flight’ mode we talked about in other articles. And a very large breed dog can easily knock over a toddler or young child. So for these reasons, a medium sized dog might be your best option. One that is big enough to feel secure with small hands, but small enough to not topple over a little child.
• Are there any allergies? For those of you that do not know what it is that makes people allergic to dogs, there are three things that most commonly make people react: The fur, the dander, and the saliva. Many people mistakenly think that a dog with a short coat will shed less than a dog with a long coat, but it is actually the opposite. Dogs with a short coat usually have fur, while most dogs with long coats have hair. Dog hair, just like our hair, grows, which is why they need to be groomed every 4 – 6 weeks (depending on how short you like to keep the coat.)
• Are you a cleaning fanatic? Dogs with short coats, especially ones that may have feathering by the ears, paws, and tail need to be brushed so they do not become matted and tangled. The shedding is worse in the summer and the spring (what people call the shedding season). Dogs with long coats need to be brushed daily and be groomed to keep the hair short. And find out which dogs are droolers! If you are a neat-freak, a mastiff is not for you!
• What are the finances like? Another important question. Big dogs come with higher expenses…. vaccinations and medicines, they eat more, have much bigger poops, etc. Also, some boarding facilities charge more for larger dogs, so if your family vacations a lot, you might want to consider this a factor as well. And if you prefer to vacation with your dog, many hotels (even pet friendly ones) have weight restrictions on dogs you can have. As for grooming needs, a non-shedding dog needs to be groomed regularly. (Some people buy the clippers and learn to do it themselves to save money.) You also want to consider the genetic dispositions of a breed if finances are tight. i.e. many people get bulldog pups because they are cute, fat and wrinkled… but most do not know that in general, it is a very unhealthy breed that requires quite a bit of money to properly take care of. They suffer from hip, skin, breathing and eye problems, have allergies, and have a short life-span.
• Is your family a very active one or more sedate? Again, an important thing to consider. Many places are pet friendly nowadays, and allow you to take the dog with you. If you all enjoy camping, hiking and swimming, a dog like a bulldog who has difficulty breathing and a very low stamina is not the ideal pet for you. A Retriever or a Beagle might be a better choice. Same holds true in the opposite end of the spectrum. If you are a laid back family that prefers reading or TV, then a dog like a Weimeraner, who is in constant motion, will be more of a source of frustration for you than an enjoyable pet, and a dog like a Border Collie will not be content just lying around all day doing nothing… they are happiest with a job or task to focus on and their boredom can lead to serious destruction of your precious things!
• Are your kids outgoing or shy? A shy quiet child may not do well with a bossy herding dog, like the Australian Shepherd or a dog that needs a firm upper hand such as a German Shepherd or a terrier. Or even a Golden Retriever puppy that calms down quite a bit when they are older, but are definitely a handful and a ball of energy when they are babies! They may do better with something like a Havanese, who is content to hang out with humans of any age and rarely challenges authority. But the flip side of that is that if you have a very loud and boisterous family, that may frighten or intimidate a small dog like the Havanese. You might be better off going with a dog more secure with itself, like a West Highland White Terrier (Westie) or a Bearded Collie.
• How helpful, in general, are the kids when it comes to chores? If every chore your child is asked to do turns into an argument, do not think the dog is going to be any different. They will enjoy all of the fun things with the dog, but it will become a battle when it is time to do the ‘not-so-fun’ boring everyday things, like feeding, brushing, walking and cleaning up after him. It is this reason I stress please do not use getting a dog as a reward for good behavior. I have heard all of the promises kids make beforehand to get a dog, but rarely are they followed through with, especially when they have something else much more interesting on their minds than letting the dog out and waiting until he is done to let him back in.
• How obedient do you want your dog to be, and what steps are you willing to take to ensure this happens? Remember, just like kids, dogs are not born with good or bad manners, they must learn them. But unlike children, what is instinctual and acceptable in a dog’s world is very different from what is acceptable in ours. Another potential issue is, if you decide on getting a rescue dog that is a little older, it has been raised in another person’s house… and what was acceptable to his original owner may be very different in your house. For example, getting up on the furniture may have been perfectly OK where he came from, but not in your house. So you have to remember that some training will be necessary. And although the kids can help with many of the dog’s needs, like feeding him, remember, it is very important that you always supervise their interactions.
  • You can’t just tell a child to ‘feed the dog’ without first teaching the dog to sit and stay and wait until their food is placed on the floor. An over-excited dog or pup is likely to jump up on the child, and may accidently hurt them.
  • Do not allow your small child to walk the dog on the leash outside until you have taught the dog not to pull. Otherwise, a nervous or excited dog can run into the street, pulling your child with them.
  • Finally, a small child will not know how to be very careful with a wire dog brush around sensitive areas like the eyes and ears, so they must be taught how to do it properly.

I will end this by giving you a link that may help you on your journey in finding the right dog for you and your family. It’s a questionnaire that you can fill out and it will give you several options of dogs that might be a good match for you and your family, and also recommend my favorite book Choosing a Dog For Dummies to help you chose the right breed for your family. The reason I personally like this book is because when I want a quick synopsis on a breed, I do not want to have to search twenty pages to find the one thing I am looking for. In this book, each page focuses on the highlights of one breed: Temperament, size full grown, good with kids, protection level, grooming needs and genetic issues to look out for.

Still not sure…call a professional and ask their opinion – the IACP always has folks willing to help.

Happy dog hunting!

What “Sensitive” or “Authoritative” Parenting Really Means

Many articles you see in the media discuss the positive influence of “sensitive parenting” on children’s development. Sensitive parenting is seen as the gold standard on how to effectively interact with your child to promote their optimum maturation process.

So with all these positive benefits of sensitive parenting, you may wonder what “sensitive parenting” really means. Contrary to what some may think, sensitive parenting does not mean giving in to your child’s every whim or not enforcing rules. Sensitive parenting is often called authoritative parenting.

This approach to parenting involves setting firm boundaries but also emphasizes explaining the reason for rules and meeting children’s emotional needs. This type of parenting is in contrast to permissive and authoritarian parenting approaches. These parenting styles were originally categorized by researcher Diane Baumrind over 40 years ago and they still have relevance today.

As you may have guessed, permissive parents fail to set limits or boundaries on their child’s behavior. On the other end of the spectrum, authoritarian parents run their homes like a dictator and expect children to obey strict rules with little emotional support or explanation. Based on these categories, it is easy to see why authoritative parenting is associated with the best emotional and physical outcomes for children. It serves as a middle ground between being too permissive and overly strict. In this environment, children come to know what is expected of them but are also given the emotional support, empathy, and skills to meet these expectations.

When I first read these descriptions of parenting styles as a graduate student (prior to having kids), I did not think much about it. They made sense and I took note of them in my mind for a later date. Well, now that I am actually a parent, I can really appreciate the usefulness of these categories.

One key aspect of authoritative parenting that I think is often overlooked is the fact that these parents change with their child. Their rules, relationships, and dynamics with their child move and grow as the child develops. It is easy to underestimate how hard this dynamic relationship really is. Authoritative parents, however, aren’t afraid of the challenge. They are in-tune with their child and they know they must grow with their child to meet his/her needs.

In real life, this might mean something as small as allowing your baby to use a fork although you know he/she can’t completely handle it and it will make a mess. Later, it might mean allowing your elementary-age child some freedom, but within certain limits, to travel to a friend’s house on his bike.

This authoritative approach also focuses on skill-building. Through the ability to grow and change with their child’s changing needs, the authoritative parent is inherently building the child’s confidence in themselves and their ability to handle new situations and challenges. If you’ve ever seen a 7-year-old with just a little freedom to ride their bike down the block, you’ve seen the confidence instilled. Inherently, most children know (and most parents too) when they are ready for the next level of skill or responsibility. When given this responsibility at the appropriate time and with the appropriate guidance, a child can flourish.

In contrast, the dictator-type authoritarian approach doesn’t teach the child to think on her own; she becomes crippled by her lack of confidence in her abilities. On the other hand, permissive parenting offers no scaffolding or support—the child just has to figure everything out on their own, which can result in dangerous mistakes. The authoritative approach offers a happy medium between these two extremes.

Now this is not to say that an authoritative parenting approach is easy. As is often the case, the middle approach between two extreme ends of a spectrum is the most difficult. Sometimes it may seem easier to give up and just let your child do whatever they like or bear down and insist on blind obedience. As we have seen with research, however, by sticking with authoritative parenting your children will ultimately reap the greatest benefits.

Back-to-School Medical Exams: Parents, What You Need To Know

This exam is a very important part of good child health for many reasons. It gives the child, parents and physicians the opportunity to adequately evaluate the status, physical and emotional, of the child who is entering a new classroom setting. After being out and about for the summer months your child has been given enough time to break those school time habits and possibly get into a lifestyle not conducive to studying again. The exam time allows for physician and family to discuss this in front of the child.

If your child is an athlete, there are issues to discuss and recognize. An exam that focuses on the orthopedic, neurologic and cardiac systems is very important.

• Family history can be reviewed and if it suggests genetic issues that may impact on a child’s ability to play a sport, testing can be undertaken prior to the sports season in order to clear such a child to play a given sport.
• The issue of cerebral concussion during contact and sometimes non -contact sports can be addressed and the seriousness of this can be stressed to child and parent alike. More and more emphasis has been placed on the significance of such injuries, and rightfully so, as repeated concussions can lead to permanent problems
• Orthopedic issues can be identified that may predispose an athlete student to further and more significant problems. These may result in alterations in training procedures such that emphasis is placed on protecting certain areas of the body.
• There are issues that may prevent a child from playing an impact sport altogether; such as a single organ which is usually found in pairs- kidneys, eyes, testicles, etc. Certainly emphasis would be placed on avoiding injury to the remaining organ and might prohibit playing a certain sport. It is important for the child to hear such things directly from his/her Doctor, rather than be restricted by parents.

The pre-school exam can stress the importance of looking for aberrant behavior in class mates and avoiding such behavior: smoking, drugs, early sexual behavior, risk taking, just to name a few that in the presence of peer pressures might be difficult for a child to “just say no”.

Depending on the age of the child such issues as sexuality and gender issues can be addressed, including natural progression of puberty and beyond.

Immunizations can be reviewed and if not up to date, the proper recommendation can be given and the fears of parents and children about these immunizations can be openly discussed.

It is easy to see how this back-to-school medical exam is as important, if not more so, than obtaining the right papers, pencils, etc. Parents, please keep this in mind as the school year approaches

Back to School Dental Check-Ups

It’s that time of year again! The summer weeks are quickly winding down and school days will soon be upon us. Right now, you’re probably in the midst of helping your child get all of those back-to-school necessities in order. In addition to gathering up school supplies and scheduling physical exams, have you remembered to schedule their back-to-school dental checkup?

Routine dental appointments are imperative to helping your child maintain a healthy smile, both now and in the years to come. Scheduling an appointment for your child right before he or she goes back to school is typically the most ideal time for parents and children alike. This way, you can avoid having to take your child out of school for the appointment, and can check one more item off of your list of things to accomplish before they are back in the classroom again.

It is suggested that your child begins seeing the dentist by the time their first baby teeth start to grow in, and then schedule a regular checkup every 6 months following. This preventative care is key to ensuring your child’s teeth are developing properly and are in healthy condition. Preventative care is also much easier and much less expensive than what it takes to correct any issues that could arise without regular dental care. Some of these issues can include cavities and decay, which can cause pain and a lot of damage if not treated right away. Poor tooth development can also lead to problems down the road, and might mean the need for extensive orthodontic treatment.

During a regular dental checkup, the dental hygienist will clean, polish, and floss your child’s teeth to remove any food particles, bacteria, and plaque build-up. The hygienist will also take x-rays of your child’s teeth to get a closer look at the teeth’s development and to help spot any decay that might not be visible to the naked eye. The dentist will then examine your child’s teeth and study the x-rays to make sure there isn’t anything abnormal. Fluoride is applied at the end of the appointment, which helps protect the teeth from bacteria. Dental sealants, a plastic coating that is brushed on to the chewing surfaces of the molars, can also be applied to your child’s teeth. Sealants are highly recommended as another protective measure against harmful bacteria.

If any issues do come up in your child’s appointment, your dentist will explain the problem and discuss the proper steps to take in regards to your child’s treatment. If there is a cavity, treatment will likely include the need for a filling, or possibly a dental crown if the decay has taken over a larger portion of the tooth. If your dentist notices that your child’s teeth and jaw aren’t quite developing as they should, a visit to the orthodontist might be suggested for further evaluation. Your dentist might also have some orthodontic training and can provide the necessary treatment options for your child.

A back-to-school checkup is essential for your child to have a healthy start to the school year. Don’t forget the importance of at-home dental care, too. Help your child maintain those pearly whites by brushing and flossing each and every day until it’s time for their next checkup. Their health and their smile will be better off because of the care that is given to their teeth today.

3 Ways Food Allergy Parents Can Exhale

Parenting is always difficult and comes with no instructions. There will be moments of joy but also moments of complete fear and anxiety. Imagine being the parent of a child who has life threatening food allergies where every bite of food must be checked and double-checked. Now repeat this for the rest of your life. Does it sound a bit like parenting to the max with even less time of feeling that you are doing everything right? It can be but it can also be a learning experience that will not only strengthen your feelings of being a parent but also the way your food allergic child views you.

The most important thing to remember is that every single parent feels that they never fully guide their child the right way. Regardless of anyone’s situation, any mother and father will most definitely give you the list of what they feel are their flaws. There is no perfect situation for anyone, no way to ensure that what you do each and every day will be the best of what you should have done. What you can make sure of is to realize your best each day, each hour, each minute is the best that you were capable of doing for that time and that will always be okay. You may argue this within your thoughts … you will argue this within your own thoughts and that is also acceptable. We cannot grow if we do not question.

How do parents, especially food allergy parents, learn to let go and exhale while still being the best parent that they can be? Here are three simple tips that anyone can try:

• Put Your Accomplishments on the Map For food allergy parents, any outing or vacation can be stressful. The thought of reaching outside of your family’s comfort zone can cause anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and sometimes even a loss of allowing yourself to be adventurous. We tend to want to stay within our safe bubble because that is where situations can be more regulated. When it comes to having safe foods, it is a big step to visit a foreign country where language may be a barrier to safety vs. dining in your own kitchen. Luckily, there are ways to travel, dine safely and even share your explorations with other people that share the same fears. Imagine flying to a country and having your own allergy translation card in hand to give you the extra freedom to travel. Now imagine sharing this with millions of others who are curious about where to go and how to do it. Food allergy parents find comfort in having their child prepared. Whether they need to advocate for their child or their food allergic child is ready to speak for themselves, having a food allergy translation card and an ID Card are key to food safety anywhere (local and otherwise). Praise your family’s accomplishments by sharing your journey to inspire others to travel as well. Your life may not feel perfect, but it will always be a journey to improve and enjoy.
• Take a Night Off This probably sounds nearly impossible with schedules, food limitations and other daily family routines. With a bit of additional communication, it can be done. Food allergy parents cook a lot- more than the average parent for safety reasons. Although this can be viewed as a stepping stone to learning more about the food that we eat and how to nourish your food allergic child, everyone needs a break occasionally. It may even feel like a guilty pleasure, but it is imperative that understanding that time off is not selfish, it is self-love and self-preservation to recharge. One option is to hire a personal chef to come to your home for the night and prepare dinner for the family. While this may sound impossible to a food allergy parent, companies such as CookinGenie are a very affordable option which are not much more than what someone would spend on a very nice dinner at a restaurant. These services typically include a personal chef who shop, cook, serve and even clean up for you. While their chefs offer menus for a pick and choose option, these menus can also be tailored to dietary needs. The experience is relaxing and the best part- you and your allergic child can see a chef in action as they prep your evening’s meal.
• Ask Your Allergic Child for Help Food allergy parents- please read and reread that. Asking for help is always exceedingly difficult for any parent. Asking your food allergic child for help does not show weakness- it encourages responsibility, creativity and better communication. The earlier that you have your food allergic child involved in what needs to be done to keep them safe, the less all of you will stress about it. It will become part of your daily routine and give some of the obligation to your child. How does this help? Children are encouraged to think about new ways to utilize their safe foods. Helping increases their individuality for things such as packing their own lunch, preparing safe snacks for a trip, and even suggesting new foods to try when they see a new allergy-friendly product become available. Sharing that even mom and dad need help gives them the strength to know that they can always ask for help as well without feeling discouraged or ashamed. It is absolutely okay to want to do everything yourself but it is not okay to have to do everything yourself.

In summary, if your child sees you stressed, they will stress. If your child sees you struggling, they will feel it too. These little creatures that we create are so more observant than we give them credit for. In a society that often teaches us to always be strong, always be take-charge why not change the rules? Your life is not everyone’s life and it should be on your own terms. Happiness can be felt just as much as stress can. Make sure your child feels more of the happiness.

Kids Flying Alone: Make it Safe, Hassle-free and Fun

My son achieved a big milestone – his first solo flight – at the tender age of eight! Not that he flew a plane by himself, but he joined the ranks of what airlines call “unaccompanied minors”; a kid at least 5-years old flying without an accompanying adult. Considering we don’t even let him ride his bike to the other end of the neighborhood unaccompanied, this was a pretty big deal.

Sending your children on a flight on their own can feel risky, but the airlines all have secure procedures for handling solo minors, and the benefits for far-flung extended or divorced families can be significant. While airlines levy charges for minding your kids, it’s easier and generally cheaper than flying with them. But despite the benefits, the process isn’t entirely straightforward. I didn’t have much of a clue what to expect the first time we took advantage of this service, and having just recently done it a second time – on a different airline – I’ve realized that parents need to be well informed before preparing to send their kids into the great blue yonder.

Overview of the Basics

There are no federal government regulations for travel by unaccompanied minors (UM), so airline policies vary on several dimensions (e.g. booking process, age requirements, fees, eligible schedules, etc). Unaccompanied minor service gets your children safely boarded and deplaned, alerts gate staff and flight attendants to their status, and provides oversight during connections. It does NOT include constant monitoring throughout the flights. For a good summary of airline policies and more helpful advice, see this US Department of Transportation brochure.

Generally carriers allow children to fly alone on direct and non-stop flights at the age of five; however, many will only allow journeys on connecting flights for kids at least age 8. Several airlines require UM procedures/fees through age 11, though some require this through age 14. Most airlines make the process optional for older kids and teens, though I have to say I don’t think I would feel comfortable letting my son travel alone at age 12 or 13 without the UM procedures. Some airlines allow travel on international flights, but others do not. Fees for unaccompanied travel are typically $50-$150 EACH way – so it pays to shop around. Thankfully, airlines only charge the one fee even if you have multiple minors flying.

Despite all the procedures, being eligible to fly alone is different than being ready to do so. How do you determine whether this is a good idea for your children? In our case, our son, Elliott, had flown with us many times and had become a pro at the process. He knew about seat belt lights, staying in his seat for extended periods during take-off and landing, and that electronics can only be used once up in the air. What clinched our decision is that on a family trip earlier in the year we couldn’t get seats all together. A passenger offered to move for us, but Elliott was adamant he wanted to sit by himself. He ended up having a merry time – as did his adult seatmates who told me afterwards that he really kept them entertained. He even got them playing a board game with him!

Booking Flights

Unaccompanied minor flights must be booked directly with the relevant airline. Travel sites such as Expedia and Orbitz won’t accept these reservations however it can help to check them first to determine who has the best routes and fares. Once you’ve chosen a flight/airline, MAKE SURE to visit that airline’s website and review their rules for unaccompanied minors – your choices may not fit their requirements. For example, many carriers prohibit UM kids from traveling on or connecting to the last flight of the day. Problems can arise if a child is stranded overnight as most hotels will not accept minors age 17 or younger to register.

You can often book the flights on the airline’s site – some require that you do – but you will then need to call and speak to an agent to finalize the paperwork and extra fees (some airlines allow you to pay the UM fee when booking, others will only take payment at check in….go figure?!). If you are booking with an agent via the phone, have your flight choices and prices at hand – they may not offer the cheapest or connecting flights even when allowed (and they may not be familiar with the airline’s unaccompanied minor policies).

This process requires a lot of information and documentation – both at booking and on the actual day of flight. Be sure to gather all the requirements BEFORE making the reservations – and ensure the designated adults have copies of the information and documents with them at departure and arrival.

Information Requirements:

• Full name, address and home/daytime contact numbers for adults responsible for BOTH drop off and pick-up
• Be sure the designated adult’s name is EXACTLY as listed on their government-issued photo ID – the address on the ID should also match (our son’s grandfather was picking him up at arrival so we had him send us a scanned picture of his license to be sure we had the correct details)
• Proof of age – several airlines want to ensure your children have reached the age requirements for the journey, so you should plan to bring copies of their birth certificates – and include copies in their baggage for the return flight

Departure and Arrival

Be sure to arrive at the airport with your children in plenty of time for the extended check-in procedures for unaccompanied minors (about 90 minutes prior to departure). You will have to complete and sign paperwork regarding your kids’ travel and the person designated to meet them at arrival. You will be given an official envelope containing this documentation, all boarding passes and baggage claim tags – which you will hand over to the airline representative at the departure gate. A flight attendant will keep this envelope safe during the flight.

Your kids will be fitted with wristbands or other type of badges indicating they are UMs and the airline they are flying. You will receive a gate pass so you can escort them to the flight. Make sure you have your ID with you and be prepared to go through airport security just as if you were traveling – no banned items in your pockets or purse…and make sure you wear no-hassle shoes. I’m speaking from experience here! Once past security you might want to buy your kids something to eat and take care of bathroom breaks.

Alert airline gate staff that you have minors traveling alone – they should be expecting them. Staff will take the travel envelope and accompany your children and any other minors onto the flight. If you’re like me, be careful to limit excessive motherly PDA when saying goodbye! Then settle down for a significant wait. Airlines require you to stay at the gate until the plane has taxied away – or even taken off – which can take considerable time. Keep this in mind when traveling to the airport. Anyone with you will need to wait in the terminal since only one adult will be allowed through to the gate. Like I said, the process isn’t exactly straightforward.

At the arrival airport, again only ONE person will be given a gate pass to meet the incoming flight. This person must be the adult designated on your children’s travel form – no last minute changes are allowed. And be sure the person meeting your kids arrives at the airport well ahead of the scheduled arrival time. There are no electronic terminals for gate passes so they’ll have to wait in line to see an agent. I was almost late meeting my son’s plane last time as it landed 20 minutes earlier than scheduled. But despite the challenges, some advance planning and research will ensure a big adventure for your kids and low stress for you.

Flying on My Own – A Kid’s-eye View

 

Hi. My name is Elliott and I’m 9 years old. I have flown by myself twice. Although I’ve been on planes many times with my parents, it’s cool when I fly alone. I feel so independent, with no one to tell me what to do. I played with toys and read on my first flight, but I just slept the second time because I had to get up so early that morning.

 

You get a wristband on your arm to show you’re unaccompanied (I kept mine on for 2 months after my trip!). Then you get on the plane first and the flight attendant tells you to push the HELP button if you need anything, and to fasten your seat belt and stay seated while the seat belt sign is on. People always talk to you – they ask your name, how old you are, and if you’ve ever done this before. Some flights give the kids traveling alone a special treat – but not all.

 

You’ll really love flying on your own. You’ll miss your parents a little – I wonder what mine are doing while I’m on the plane…whether they’re having fun or bored – but you’ll get over it. And some flights take a long time, so it’s hard to sit still. Take lots of activities with you – I recommend small board games or portable video games, a notebook/pencil to draw or write with, and lots of Pokémon cards! And try to get a window seat – it’s very entertaining to look out. If you’re going somewhere warm you can count how many yards have pools!

 

There’s not much to worry about – but I got scared once when I read the safety manual and thought about us landing in an ocean and being surrounded by great white sharks. But then I just went back to what I was doing before and forgot about it. The End.