Posted by Nutrimom - Food Allergy Liason · Leave a Comment
Parenting is always difficult and comes with no instructions. There will be moments of joy but also moments of complete fear and anxiety. Imagine being the parent of a child who has life threatening food allergies where every bite of food must be checked and double-checked. Now repeat this for the rest of your life. Does it sound a bit like parenting to the max with even less time of feeling that you are doing everything right? It can be but it can also be a learning experience that will not only strengthen your feelings of being a parent but also the way your food allergic child views you.
The most important thing to remember is that every single parent feels that they never fully guide their child the right way. Regardless of anyone’s situation, any mother and father will most definitely give you the list of what they feel are their flaws. There is no perfect situation for anyone, no way to ensure that what you do each and every day will be the best of what you should have done. What you can make sure of is to realize your best each day, each hour, each minute is the best that you were capable of doing for that time and that will always be okay. You may argue this within your thoughts … you will argue this within your own thoughts and that is also acceptable. We cannot grow if we do not question.
How do parents, especially food allergy parents, learn to let go and exhale while still being the best parent that they can be? Here are three simple tips that anyone can try:
- Put Your Accomplishments on the Map For food allergy parents, any outing or vacation can be stressful. The thought of reaching outside of your family’s comfort zone can cause anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and sometimes even a loss of allowing yourself to be adventurous. We tend to want to stay within our safe bubble because that is where situations can be more regulated. When it comes to having safe foods, it is a big step to visit a foreign country where language may be a barrier to safety vs. dining in your own kitchen. Luckily, there are ways to travel, dine safely and even share your explorations with other people that share the same fears. Imagine flying to a country and having your own allergy translation card in hand to give you the extra freedom to travel. Now imagine sharing this with millions of others who are curious about where to go and how to do it. Food allergy parents find comfort in having their child prepared. Whether they need to advocate for their child or their food allergic child is ready to speak for themselves, having a food allergy translation card and an ID Card are key to food safety anywhere (local and otherwise). Praise your family’s accomplishments by sharing your journey to inspire others to travel as well. Your life may not feel perfect, but it will always be a journey to improve and enjoy.
Take a Night Off This probably sounds nearly impossible with schedules, food limitations and other daily family routines. With a bit of additional communication, it can be done. Food allergy parents cook a lot- more than the average parent for safety reasons. Although this can be viewed as a stepping stone to learning more about the food that we eat and how to nourish your food allergic child, everyone needs a break occasionally. It may even feel like a guilty pleasure, but it is imperative that understanding that time off is not selfish, it is self-love and self-preservation to recharge. One option is to hire a personal chef to come to your home for the night and prepare dinner for the family. While this may sound impossible to a food allergy parent, companies such as CookinGenie are a very affordable option which are not much more than what someone would spend on a very nice dinner at a restaurant. These services typically include a personal chef who shop, cook, serve and even clean up for you. While their chefs offer menus for a pick and choose option, these menus can also be tailored to dietary needs. The experience is relaxing and the best part- you and your allergic child can see a chef in action as they prep your evening’s meal.- Ask Your Allergic Child for Help Food allergy parents- please read and reread that. Asking for help is always exceedingly difficult for any parent. Asking your food allergic child for help does not show weakness- it encourages responsibility, creativity and better communication. The earlier that you have your food allergic child involved in what needs to be done to keep them safe, the less all of you will stress about it. It will become part of your daily routine and give some of the obligation to your child. How does this help? Children are encouraged to think about new ways to utilize their safe foods. Helping increases their individuality for things such as packing their own lunch, preparing safe snacks for a trip, and even suggesting new foods to try when they see a new allergy-friendly product become available. Sharing that even mom and dad need help gives them the strength to know that they can always ask for help as well without feeling discouraged or ashamed. It is absolutely okay to want to do everything yourself but it is not okay to have to do everything yourself.
In summary, if your child sees you stressed, they will stress. If your child sees you struggling, they will feel it too. These little creatures that we create are so more observant than we give them credit for. In a society that often teaches us to always be strong, always be take-charge why not change the rules? Your life is not everyone’s life and it should be on your own terms. Happiness can be felt just as much as stress can. Make sure your child feels more of the happiness.
