3 Ways Food Allergy Parents Can Exhale
Parenting is always difficult and comes with no instructions. There will be moments of joy but also moments of complete fear and anxiety. Imagine being the parent of a child who has life threatening food allergies where every bite of food must be checked and double-checked. Now repeat this for the rest of your life. Does it sound a bit like parenting to the max with even less time of feeling that you are doing everything right? It can be but it can also be a learning experience that will not only strengthen your feelings of being a parent but also the way your food allergic child views you.
The most important thing to remember is that every single parent feels that they never fully guide their child the right way. Regardless of anyone’s situation, any mother and father will most definitely give you the list of what they feel are their flaws. There is no perfect situation for anyone, no way to ensure that what you do each and every day will be the best of what you should have done. What you can make sure of is to realize your best each day, each hour, each minute is the best that you were capable of doing for that time and that will always be okay. You may argue this within your thoughts … you will argue this within your own thoughts and that is also acceptable. We cannot grow if we do not question.
How do parents, especially food allergy parents, learn to let go and exhale while still being the best parent that they can be? Here are three simple tips that anyone can try:
- Put Your Accomplishments on the Map For food allergy parents, any outing or vacation can be stressful. The thought of reaching outside of your family’s comfort zone can cause anxiety, feelings of inadequacy and sometimes even a loss of allowing yourself to be adventurous. We tend to want to stay within our safe bubble because that is where situations can be more regulated. When it comes to having safe foods, it is a big step to visit a foreign country where language may be a barrier to safety vs. dining in your own kitchen. Luckily, there are ways to travel, dine safely and even share your explorations with other people that share the same fears. Imagine flying to a country and having your own allergy translation card in hand to give you the extra freedom to travel. Now imagine sharing this with millions of others who are curious about where to go and how to do it. Food allergy parents find comfort in having their child prepared. Whether they need to advocate for their child or their food allergic child is ready to speak for themselves, having a food allergy translation card and an ID Card are key to food safety anywhere (local and otherwise). Praise your family’s accomplishments by sharing your journey to inspire others to travel as well. Your life may not feel perfect, but it will always be a journey to improve and enjoy.
Take a Night Off This probably sounds nearly impossible with schedules, food limitations and other daily family routines. With a bit of additional communication, it can be done. Food allergy parents cook a lot- more than the average parent for safety reasons. Although this can be viewed as a stepping stone to learning more about the food that we eat and how to nourish your food allergic child, everyone needs a break occasionally. It may even feel like a guilty pleasure, but it is imperative that understanding that time off is not selfish, it is self-love and self-preservation to recharge. One option is to hire a personal chef to come to your home for the night and prepare dinner for the family. While this may sound impossible to a food allergy parent, companies such as CookinGenie are a very affordable option which are not much more than what someone would spend on a very nice dinner at a restaurant. These services typically include a personal chef who shop, cook, serve and even clean up for you. While their chefs offer menus for a pick and choose option, these menus can also be tailored to dietary needs. The experience is relaxing and the best part- you and your allergic child can see a chef in action as they prep your evening’s meal.- Ask Your Allergic Child for Help Food allergy parents- please read and reread that. Asking for help is always exceedingly difficult for any parent. Asking your food allergic child for help does not show weakness- it encourages responsibility, creativity and better communication. The earlier that you have your food allergic child involved in what needs to be done to keep them safe, the less all of you will stress about it. It will become part of your daily routine and give some of the obligation to your child. How does this help? Children are encouraged to think about new ways to utilize their safe foods. Helping increases their individuality for things such as packing their own lunch, preparing safe snacks for a trip, and even suggesting new foods to try when they see a new allergy-friendly product become available. Sharing that even mom and dad need help gives them the strength to know that they can always ask for help as well without feeling discouraged or ashamed. It is absolutely okay to want to do everything yourself but it is not okay to have to do everything yourself.
In summary, if your child sees you stressed, they will stress. If your child sees you struggling, they will feel it too. These little creatures that we create are so more observant than we give them credit for. In a society that often teaches us to always be strong, always be take-charge why not change the rules? Your life is not everyone’s life and it should be on your own terms. Happiness can be felt just as much as stress can. Make sure your child feels more of the happiness.
Kids Flying Alone: Make it Safe, Hassle-free and Fun
My son achieved a big milestone – his first solo flight – at the tender age of eight! Not that he flew a plane by himself, but he joined the ranks of what airlines call “unaccompanied minors”; a kid at least 5-years old flying without an accompanying adult. Considering we don’t even let him ride his bike to the other end of the neighborhood unaccompanied, this was a pretty big deal.
Sending your children on a flight on their own can feel risky, but the airlines all have secure procedures for handling solo minors, and the benefits for far-flung extended or divorced families can be significant. While airlines levy charges for minding your kids, it’s easier and generally cheaper than flying with them. But despite the benefits, the process isn’t entirely straightforward. I didn’t have much of a clue what to expect the first time we took advantage of this service, and having just recently done it a second time – on a different airline – I’ve realized that parents need to be well informed before preparing to send their kids into the great blue yonder.
Overview of the Basics
There are no federal government regulations for travel by unaccompanied minors (UM), so airline policies vary on several dimensions (e.g. booking process, age requirements, fees, eligible schedules, etc). Unaccompanied minor service gets your children safely boarded and deplaned, alerts gate staff and flight attendants to their status, and provides oversight during connections. It does NOT include constant monitoring throughout the flights. For a good summary of airline policies and more helpful advice, see this US Department of Transportation brochure.
Generally carriers allow children to fly alone on direct and non-stop flights at the age of five; however, many will only allow journeys on connecting flights for kids at least age 8. Several airlines require UM procedures/fees through age 11, though some require this through age 14. Most airlines make the process optional for older kids and teens, though I have to say I don’t think I would feel comfortable letting my son travel alone at age 12 or 13 without the UM procedures. Some airlines allow travel on international flights, but others do not. Fees for unaccompanied travel are typically $50-$150 EACH way – so it pays to shop around. Thankfully, airlines only charge the one fee even if you have multiple minors flying.
Despite all the procedures, being eligible to fly alone is different than being ready to do so. How do you determine whether this is a good idea for your children? In our case, our son, Elliott, had flown with us many times and had become a pro at the process. He knew about seat belt lights, staying in his seat for extended periods during take-off and landing, and that electronics can only be used once up in the air. What clinched our decision is that on a family trip earlier in the year we couldn’t get seats all together. A passenger offered to move for us, but Elliott was adamant he wanted to sit by himself. He ended up having a merry time – as did his adult seatmates who told me afterwards that he really kept them entertained. He even got them playing a board game with him!
Booking Flights
Unaccompanied minor flights must be booked directly with the relevant airline. Travel sites such as Expedia and Orbitz won’t accept these reservations however it can help to check them first to determine who has the best routes and fares. Once you’ve chosen a flight/airline, MAKE SURE to visit that airline’s website and review their rules for unaccompanied minors – your choices may not fit their requirements. For example, many carriers prohibit UM kids from traveling on or connecting to the last flight of the day. Problems can arise if a child is stranded overnight as most hotels will not accept minors age 17 or younger to register.
You can often book the flights on the airline’s site – some require that you do – but you will then need to call and speak to an agent to finalize the paperwork and extra fees (some airlines allow you to pay the UM fee when booking, others will only take payment at check in….go figure?!). If you are booking with an agent via the phone, have your flight choices and prices at hand – they may not offer the cheapest or connecting flights even when allowed (and they may not be familiar with the airline’s unaccompanied minor policies).
This process requires a lot of information and documentation – both at booking and on the actual day of flight. Be sure to gather all the requirements BEFORE making the reservations – and ensure the designated adults have copies of the information and documents with them at departure and arrival.
Information Requirements:
- Full name, address and home/daytime contact numbers for adults responsible for BOTH drop off and pick-up
- Be sure the designated adult’s name is EXACTLY as listed on their government-issued photo ID – the address on the ID should also match (our son’s grandfather was picking him up at arrival so we had him send us a scanned picture of his license to be sure we had the correct details)
- Proof of age – several airlines want to ensure your children have reached the age requirements for the journey, so you should plan to bring copies of their birth certificates – and include copies in their baggage for the return flight
Departure and Arrival
Be sure to arrive at the airport with your children in plenty of time for the extended check-in procedures for unaccompanied minors (about 90 minutes prior to departure). You will have to complete and sign paperwork regarding your kids’ travel and the person designated to meet them at arrival. You will be given an official envelope containing this documentation, all boarding passes and baggage claim tags – which you will hand over to the airline representative at the departure gate. A flight attendant will keep this envelope safe during the flight.
Your kids will be fitted with wristbands or other type of badges indicating they are UMs and the airline they are flying. You will receive a gate pass so you can escort them to the flight. Make sure you have your ID with you and be prepared to go through airport security just as if you were traveling – no banned items in your pockets or purse…and make sure you wear no-hassle shoes. I’m speaking from experience here! Once past security you might want to buy your kids something to eat and take care of bathroom breaks.
Alert airline gate staff that you have minors traveling alone – they should be expecting them. Staff will take the travel envelope and accompany your children and any other minors onto the flight. If you’re like me, be careful to limit excessive motherly PDA when saying goodbye! Then settle down for a significant wait. Airlines require you to stay at the gate until the plane has taxied away – or even taken off – which can take considerable time. Keep this in mind when traveling to the airport. Anyone with you will need to wait in the terminal since only one adult will be allowed through to the gate. Like I said, the process isn’t exactly straightforward.
At the arrival airport, again only ONE person will be given a gate pass to meet the incoming flight. This person must be the adult designated on your children’s travel form – no last minute changes are allowed. And be sure the person meeting your kids arrives at the airport well ahead of the scheduled arrival time. There are no electronic terminals for gate passes so they’ll have to wait in line to see an agent. I was almost late meeting my son’s plane last time as it landed 20 minutes earlier than scheduled. But despite the challenges, some advance planning and research will ensure a big adventure for your kids and low stress for you.
Flying on My Own – A Kid’s-eye View
Hi. My name is Elliott and I’m 9 years old. I have flown by myself twice. Although I’ve been on planes many times with my parents, it’s cool when I fly alone. I feel so independent, with no one to tell me what to do. I played with toys and read on my first flight, but I just slept the second time because I had to get up so early that morning.
You get a wristband on your arm to show you’re unaccompanied (I kept mine on for 2 months after my trip!). Then you get on the plane first and the flight attendant tells you to push the HELP button if you need anything, and to fasten your seat belt and stay seated while the seat belt sign is on. People always talk to you – they ask your name, how old you are, and if you’ve ever done this before. Some flights give the kids traveling alone a special treat – but not all.
You’ll really love flying on your own. You’ll miss your parents a little – I wonder what mine are doing while I’m on the plane…whether they’re having fun or bored – but you’ll get over it. And some flights take a long time, so it’s hard to sit still. Take lots of activities with you – I recommend small board games or portable video games, a notebook/pencil to draw or write with, and lots of Pokémon cards! And try to get a window seat – it’s very entertaining to look out. If you’re going somewhere warm you can count how many yards have pools!
There’s not much to worry about – but I got scared once when I read the safety manual and thought about us landing in an ocean and being surrounded by great white sharks. But then I just went back to what I was doing before and forgot about it. The End.
6 Parenting Behaviors That Hurt Kids: How to Recognize & Fix Them
THE REALITY CHECK:
- Referees giving parents lollipops at youth hockey games to stop them from yelling at their kids.
- Teachers taking out insurance policies to defend themselves against parental lawsuits (“She gave my kid a B+ and ruined his Harvard chance!”)
- Moms socially engineering kid “cliques to feature only the ‘best’ and leaving out other Moms.”
No kidding! These are the stories I’ve been collecting and have shared on the TODAY show. And these are real issues that are affecting our children’s character. Here’s what to do. ENOUGH!
Parents behaving badly is a timeless problem, but there’s a modern-day category of ill-behaving Moms and Dads who could easily earn membership in the Parents Wall of Shame. Their actions are insensitive, manipulative and callous, but also impact kids. Make no mistake, uncivil adult behaviors affect children’s moral development. After all, kids learn values like compassion, honesty, sportsmanship, civility, and respect from example. And oh how today’s kids desperately need good role models! But grownup insensitivity also affects other parents who should be around supportive, civil-minded adults! Here are six bad parenting behaviors that are affecting our kids’ character …and solutions.
#1. The Braggart
New Child and Parent Motto: “Share and take turns.”
Whether it’s bragging about our kid’s grades, talent, or athletic feats, parents love to boast! One survey found that the average mom posts a whooping 1,000 photos of their child online before he turns five. Of course we are proud of our kids, but always bragging, constantly comparing, or continually dismissing other children’s accomplishments also lower the other parent’s confidence. Parental boasting and bragging may be one reason today’s teen narcissism increased 58 percent in 30 years. Watch out! Kids copy what they see and hear and it’s not always pretty and polite.
Solution: Parental pride is natural, so when a parent who rarely boasts finally does, she deserves our sincere “Congrats.” If bragging is usually one-sided and rarely considers your child’s accolades, try: “Isn’t it wonderful how well our kids are doing? Mine just…” (and then describe your pride).
But what if the parent continues her exclusive “My kid is so special” routine and you want to maintain your relationship? Speak up and explain your side: “You always brag about your child and never ask about mine. I feel you don’t care about my family.” If that doesn’t work, find another friend! Pride about our kids should always be a two-way club.
#2. The Bad Sport
New Child and Parent Motto: “Be a good sport or you can’t play.”
A Reuters News poll found that 60 percent of American adults who’d been to youth sporting events said they’d witnessed parents “become verbally or physically abusive towards the coaches or officials.” But there’s also parents screaming at their kids’ performance and booing the opposing team. No wonder nearly 75 percent of kids who play organized sports quit by age 13!
Yes, parents make huge investments in sports in hopes of scholarships and college entries, but bad behavior teaches poor sportsmanship and also undermine kids’ love for the game. Enough!
Solution: Unacceptable adult behavior can’t be ignored, but …
Confronting offensive parents can be a potential fireball. Better to move your seat, and approach cooled-down troublemakers later to share your concerns. Beware!
Many leagues and schools require parents to sign pre-season sportsmanship pledges and attend mandatory “ethics” courses or their kids can’t play. Spectators can then report inappropriate parental behavior to officials who can notify the offenders that uncivil behavior can mean banishment from games.
Meanwhile can we please be positive and remember to cheer the whole team, entire class, the other kid, not just our child? Please!
#3. The Gossip

New Child and Parent Motto: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say it!”
Think Queen Bees were confined to the middle school hive? Many adults never outgrew their mean childhood antics and now gossip about other parents. Those sordid details also show up on social media with no way for parents to defend themselves. While gossiping can be a way to connect with others and find reassurance about your parenting, cattiness is toxic. It’s easy to get caught in the gossip mill and spread hurtful rumors. Beware: kids pick up our behavior and mimic us. It’s a big reason the Mean Girl Tween Scene is flourishing.
Solution: Make a vow not to gossip. If you do hear cattiness, speak up: ‘It isn’t fair to talk about her when she isn’t here to defend herself.” And never give out information that a catty parent can use against you or others or assume that she won’t spread untruths about you. Meanwhile, find like-minded parents and join forces. Together, you can change norms.
#4. The Excluder
New Child and Parent Motto: “How would you feel if that happened to you?”
Deliberately leaving others out is called social exclusion, and is a form of bullying that causes deep distress. It peaks in middle school, but the tactic is all-too common with moms these days (“She’s cool and can join us.” “Don’t let Shelley come!”) But the excluded aren’t only women, but also their kids. One report described one mom who saved eight bus seats for 11-year girls. (She literally jumped on the bus and roped off the seats!) When a new girl asked if she could join “those girls,” the child was told “Sorry, but those seats are reserved.” Adults who socially engineering the “in” and “out” cliques for kids, are being plain cruel.
Solution:
Just plain refuse to join grownup Queen Bees. The best way to cultivate empathy is for parents to demand that kids treat others with dignity, and then show that you are inclusive.
To other Moms: “Let’s invite her! She just moved here.” Do the same with your child: “Invite all the boys: you don’t leave one out.” “Ask Abby to come!” How would you feel as a new kid?”
You might not be BFFs with every mom, but you will set a great example for your child. And that’s what matters!
#5. The Non-Disciplinarian
New Child and Parent Motto: “Be nice, or you can’t play.”
“I don’t discipline because I don’t want to damage my child’s self-esteem,” I hear from countless parents. While wanting to be a “Pal Not a Parent” is a hot trend, correcting misbehavior is part of raising good people. So how do you discipline when a misbehaving child is in your care?
Solution: While you don’t want to counter a parent’s child-rearing philosophy, if behavior is dangerous, harmful to others (like hitting, biting, bullying) or counters your values, you can’t ignore it.
You can review your rules: “In our house we don’t swear,” and separate kids from each other, but spanking, grounding, or yelling the “other child” are off-limits.
If the parent is present, disciplining their child is also a no-no. If misbehavior continues, call the parent: “I’m sure you would want to know so this is what our kids were up to.” Her child will give his interpretation, so better it come from you. Just don’t expect the parent to take your side. Do beware parental litigations are rising. Manhattan play groups ask parents to sign four-page waivers so they won’t be sued when supervising the other parents’ kids! It’s a very different world to raise kids!
#6. The Bully
New Child and Parent Motto: “Expect respect!”
Bullying is hurtful whatever the age, and it is always intentional-delivered cruelty. Nightmare stories continually surface about parents verbally abusing other moms and dads-both online and off. Bullying is learned and can be unlearned. The sooner we show kids how to stand up for themselves, the less likely they’ll be targeted.
Solution: Use my CALM Strategy for handling a bully of any age.
C – Stay calm. (Bullies love reactions).
A – Assert yourself with a strong (never insulting) comeback back: “Cut it out.” Or: “Stop it!”
L – Look bully in the eye.
M – Mean it! Deliver the line with a firm, confident, serious voice.
Practicing CALM with your child will help reduce peer cruelty.
Raising good people starts with adults modeling good character, and many grown-ups are in need of serious behavior makeovers.
Meanwhile, let’s take our own Reality Check and ask ourselves: “If my kid watched only my behavior, what would he have caught today?” That answer will say volumes about your child’s character development.
What are your worst nightmare stories that involve parents? How did you handle them?
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Teens today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago. Why is a lack of empathy—along with the self-absorption epidemic Dr. Michele Borba calls the Selfie Syndrome—so dangerous? First, it hurts kids’ academic performance and leads to bullying behaviors. Also, it correlates with more cheating and less resilience. And once children grow up, it hampers their ability to collaborate, innovate and problem-solve—all must-have skills for the global economy. The good news? Empathy is a trait that can be taught and nurtured. UnSelfie is a blueprint for parents and educators who want activate our children’s hearts and shift their focus from I, me, and mine… to we, us, and ours. It’s time to include “empathy” in our parenting and teaching! UnSelfie is AVAILABLE NOW at amazon.com.
The Facts About Teens in Cars (Infographic)
The following infographic is courtesy of Safe Kids Worldwide. Many teens are texting and riding in cars without seatbelts…and this doesn’t always stop when our teens start driving. Click here to access the research report and find out more about cars and teen safety. 
Is it Time to Start Feeding Baby Solid Foods?
There comes a time in every baby’s life when the food on your plate starts to look better than what she’s been eating. Is it time to start feeding your baby solid foods?
Here are a few questions to consider when coming up with an answer:
- Is your baby around 6 months old?
- Can she sit up with support and hold her head up on her own?
- Does she show interest in solid foods, say, by watching you when you eat and opening her mouth or moving it as if chewing along?
- When you offer her a spoonful, does she take it into her mouth and move her jaw instead of pushing it out with her tongue?
- Has she doubled her birth weight (to about 13 pounds or more)?
- Is she still hungry after eating a full meal of breast milk or formula?
If the answer to these questions is yes, your baby may be ready for her foray into solid foods.
First foods
In the past, parents were advised to start with a single-grain cereal and introduce solid foods in a specific order: rice cereal, vegetables, fruit, and then meat. We now know there’s no scientific evidence showing that introducing foods in a specific order is necessary. Of course, it’s fine if you want to introduce foods in the traditional order, but if you think your baby is interested in trying a different food first, that’s OK, too.
The following guidelines do still apply:
- Introduce new foods one by one, waiting two to three days between each new food to watch for an allergic reaction, such as diarrhea, rash, or vomiting.
- While they’re called solid food, your baby’s first foods won’t actually be solid. Instead, the foods will be soft or pureed – what we generally think of as baby food and find in baby food jars at the store. If you like, you can also puree food in a blender or food processor. Just make sure everything is reduced to the point that it no longer requires chewing. You can also mix in a little breast milk or formula to make your baby’s first solid foods more familiar.
- Offer small bites – half a spoonful or a smidgen on the end of your fingertip is enough. And don’t expect your little one to start feeding himself yet. That will come a little later when he’s ready for finger foods.
- If your baby balks, don’t force it. Back off and return to breast milk or formula for a while. There’s plenty of time for your baby to learn to enjoy solid foods.
- Don’t forget breast milk or formula. Just because your baby has started solid foods doesn’t mean he’s ready to be weaned. On the contrary, breast milk and/or formula will continue to be an important part of your baby’s diet until he’s at least 12 months old.
As you begin feeding your baby solid foods, remember that mealtime is not only for eating – it’s an important social activity as well. So as your little one takes his first tastes, make it a family affair and enjoy your meal together. Bon appetit!
DistrACTION Cards: Because Kids Already Know Shots Hurt
As a pediatrician, I have a confession to make. I’m ashamed to admit that in residency I was amused when kids ramped up the drama getting shots. I’m not talking about a sadistic pleasure watching a 4 year old get poked repeatedly, I’m talking about an artistic appreciation of the wailing, screaming, and ninja-like thrashing performance when the nurse brought in the tray and….cleaned the child’s arm. With cotton. Gently. Yep, it was hard not to restrain a snicker when you alerted the child that, far from being near death from pain, the procedure hadn’t started yet. See? Cotton.
As a pain researcher, I now know that fear dramatically increases pain perception. Not only that, but focusing on the site where you expect pain naturally enhances your body’s perception of pain. Just like focusing on bite of gourmet food enhances your perception of nuances of the flavor (“Oh, cilantro!”) focusing on a painful procedure enhances that pain to occupy your entire consciousness. Not great if you don’t want pain.
Pain relief has become a major focus of medical professionals and children’s hospitals in recent years. While topical anesthetics have been around for decades, only 7% of pediatricians use methods to decrease the pain of needles. Recent innovations to address pediatric pain have been introduced, in part due to the realization that needle fear has jumped from 25% to 63% of children.
This 252% increase is theorized to result in part because there are five times more live-saving vaccines that are now routine, and the realization that some vaccines need to be given at older ages to work well. Older age means kids remember the event, have greater cognitive powers to focus on the event, and thus can develop ongoing issues with needles when they experience vaccines as traumatic..
One physiologic way to deal with pain has been spotlighted here before, putting the cold and vibration unit Buzzy “between the brain and the pain”. The body feels sensations of cold and massage, and has less bandwidth to perceive pain. The sensation can even be disrupted, just like cold running water eliminated the pain of a burned finger. What I realized soon after developing Buzzy, however, was that a kid who is bound and determined to let you know how much they hate shots can feel pain from an alcohol swab. For a highly anxious kid who hasn’t seen Buzzy before, the explanation of “how this is going to make it better” might even focus them more on the procedure. I realized I needed something to help the child who is already afraid…something to decrease the fear AND take the focus off the poke.
Fortunately, kids have amazing imaginations, and — Ooh, look at that! —are pretty easy to distract. An easier, faster, and less expensive way to address pain and even boredom comes from the delightful curiosity kids have about new things, especially when they’re brightly colored. The very trait in kids that can be frustrating in long lines or car trips can actually be a huge advantage in managing pain. In fact, some of the more traditional hospital distractions (blowing up a balloon, etc.) had been proven to decrease children’s distress with medical procedures consistently by about 50%… But for this situation – for the child walking in terrified – we needed something more…but what? And thus, the DistrACTION cards were born….
What we’d learned was that controlling pain wasn’t enough for anyone – Fear, Focus on the procedure, and Pain all contribute to the experience.
To optimally pull a child’s attention away from a painful procedure, Child Life therapists use a variety of techniques, from blowing out (pinwheels, balloons, deep breathing) to visual distractions, both passive (videos) and active (Where’s Waldo??). Pulling from the distraction pain literature, I distilled the elements that seemed to be most helpful. In a stressful situation, too much difficulty (math problems) can be counterproductive. This is why “Where’s Waldo”, while a good active distraction, is actually less effective for most medical situations: he’s just too hard to find. The concept, though, is useful – visual active tasks like finding work well. Adding rote elements like counting can be good, but it depends on how hard it is to find something. “How many of something can you find” can be too easy if they’re right there – you could stop after one. “Find 6 of something”, however, is a concrete task which adds visual input to the cognitive task and gives the comfort of rote familiarity. The trick is distracting effectively for the right situation, giving just the right amount of challenge with the comforting ritual of counting. It’s that simple.
DistrACTION cards have 10 questions on the back of each one, stratified by age groups.
They include questions that require simple finding for younger kids (Where is a purple cow?) with some questions that only adults could get (Can you find all the suits in a deck of cards?) Classic counting, how many cows?, was found to be too easy for older kids, so questions add difficulty by asking “How many cows are wearing a costume?”)
After creating the DistrACTION® Cards for medical procedures, investigators around the world started testing them.
- First, Buzzy plus Distraction was tested for IV access in Turkey. Used correctly, Buzzy
decreases needle pain 50-80%, and has been highlighted in Phlebotomy Today as a way to help draw blood in anxious patients. When DistrACTION is added, both together reduce pain from IV insertion 88%. - Investigators then started evaluating the DistrACTION cards alone. In the first study, pain was reduced 50% with the “Monkeys” set of cards alone; even cooler, 97% of kids said the procedure was better than previous times they’d had blood drawn.
- Subsequent studies comparing other Child Life techniques found that DistrACTION cards decreased pain more than playing with a kaleidoscope; another study found the cards more effective than blowing a balloon, or playing a singing cartoon game.
The DistrACTION cards have now been clinically proven in three studies to be even better than other distractors in hospitals
Beyond pain management though, we found a terrific secondary benefit. When you can distract a child well enough to reduce pain in an unfamiliar environment, adding DistrACTION c
ards to a situation that is “merely boring” is extremely effective. From a 2 hour junior high concert recital to (one emergency nurse admitted) sitting through Mass, the cards have been extremely helpful for everyday behavior support. They’re waterproof, so they even work on the beach. No batteries, no screens – who knew?
I think the coolest thing for me has been that now, I get amused when a child seems very anxious, starts to ramp up the drama… and then is told “It’s already done!” As kids learn how distraction helps them deal with their own pain, the lesson sticks, even when there are no cards around. At a recent doctor visit for HPV vaccination, my older son said “Wait! You don’t have DistrACTION cards? Ok, ok, no problem…” he looked around the room and found red, blue and yellow speckles on the tile floor.” “No problem. When I need the shot, I’m counting confetti!” When he didn’t even flinch with the poke he was almost as proud of himself as I was!
HEALTHFUL HINTS
- Distraction is an extremely effective parenting technique for multiple situations quite apart from pain management. Trouble starts brewing when children get bored, but a child who learns how to entertain themselves will have that skill their whole lives.
- It’s critical to not depend on a battery powered source for distraction – whether it’s a small book, Distraction cards, or a small pot of play-dough, props help avert a boredom-induced meltdown. Once you learn the level of difficulty that keeps a kid engaged, the world around becomes a perfectly good distraction. “OK, I spy with my little eye…”
- YOU are the best distraction for your child. While older kids can ask each other questions or read the questions on the back of the cards themselves, human interaction keeps a distraction interesting.
- For injections and medical procedures, there’s a difference between offering distraction and forcing a kid not to watch. Let the 20% of kids who prefer to view the procedure do so – it may be it’s own distraction for them, or a way for them to feel in control of the situation so they’re less afraid.

