The Techniques of a Predator: Part II – Bribery and Threats
Last updated on December 27th, 2018 at 12:25 pm
In The Techniques of a Predator: Part I we discussed how online predators groom children for both online and offline sexual attacks using trust and romance to manipulate them. Now, we will conclude this discussion by talking about how predators can use bribery and threats as well and we will give you additional ways to protect your children.
Bribery
Here, predators offer gifts to the other person in exchange for getting what they want. This often takes the form of gift cards that can be redeemed online. For younger victims, gift cards to Google Play or iOS App Store are popular. For older children, Amazon gift cards are popular, as are those to gaming platforms. They are easily obtained and the redemption codes can be sent via text or by taking a picture of the card’s unique code. They can also be difficult to trace, especially when bought in a store and sent as a picture.
Similar to the stereotypical drug dealer exchange, the first “gift” may be provided for free. After that, the predator suggests that since they did something for the victim, then the victim should do something in return before they give them another gift.
Threats
Once an intimate image is sent, it is easily used as leverage to get more. However, another type of threat is becoming more common. In this case, a predator takes their time to groom their target over an extended period of time. All during this time, there is nothing done or said that could be construed as troubling. Everything seems safe and risk-free.
During this time, the predator is learning about their target through seemingly innocent conversation, asking questions such as:
- “Where do you go to school?”
- “Where do you live?”
- “Do you have any brothers or sisters?”
Depending on the app being used, their privacy settings, and if they’ve actually friended/connected this person, the predator has complete access to everything they’ve posted. They can see who their friends and family member are through their Facebook profile, for example. They can see who they follow on Instagram and who follows them. They can see who they’ve tagged in images and who has tagged them.
This all leads up to the predator threatening to physically hurt the people that their victim knows if they do not send pictures or videos to the predator. Scared and not sure whom to trust, minors often send the pictures to protect their family and friends. This only makes the situation worse, leading to more cases of sextortion.
In the case of Ashley Reynolds, she was contacted by a man who said that he had naked photos of her and would send them to her friends if she didn’t send him more pictures. Ashley was confident that nobody had such pictures of her like that, as she’d never sent any pics like that to anyone. She was 14 at the time.
Even if the images were not of her though, Ashley worried that people would not believe her if she denied it. Doubting herself, she yielded to his demands, which led to months of anguish, until her parents found out what was happening. She was sending as many as 60 pictures per day to her attacker. Eventually, her attacker made a mistake that led to his arrest. According to the FBI, he was a 31 year old man from Florida, with over 80,000 images on his computer from 350 girls, across 26 states, Canada and the U.K. He was sentenced to 105 years in prison for his crimes.
Had Ashley never sent the image to her attacker, she could very well have gotten through the situation, even if he had followed through on his threat to send pictures that were reportedly of her. By giving in, the opened the door to not being able to deny the pictures were of her.
How You Can Protect Your Family
Talk to your child about how sharing intimate photos online can affect them.
Parents need to discuss the realities of what can happen if such images ever make it to the Internet. One of those realities is that the images may never go away. They become part of their Digital Footprint – the impressions left behind long after the person does something online.
Wisdom comes with time, something that by their very nature, children lack.
Parents need to have “the talk” with their kids earlier than they expect to about what is acceptable and responsible with regards to online behavior. This may be more difficult to do than some parents would expect.
In the world where kids feel like they have to send such pictures or feel that it’s no big deal to show off their bodies, a “scared straight” approach might be what it takes to get through to them.
In Shame Nation, the Global Epidemic of Online Hate, the authors interviewed people involving a case coming from an affluent town in Massachusetts. Using Dropbox, an online storage site for file sharing, several high school boys reportedly starting posting intimate images of girls from the school. Even after the story broke, girls continued to send pictures to boys, knowing that they would likely end up on the site. They considered it an honor, with one mother saying, “It was a bit of a beauty contest… Some are mortified, some are proud.”
Encourage them to consider who could see what they share online.
In business classes that I teach, we discuss the Four P’s of Marketing. I took that approach and turned it into the Four P’s of Social Media:
- Parents (or other family members)
- Principal (or employer)
- Police
- Predator
Everyone should consider how they’d feel if any of the Four P’s of Social Media saw what people did online. Parents need to discuss what is acceptable and unacceptable to do online with their children – probably far earlier than they expect to have to do so.
Understand how important it is that you talk to your child about sex and consent.
Last year, I gave a presentation to all of the principals and guidance counselors in my own district’s schools. This originated after a district administrator noticed an increase in sexting at the grade school level! Even before that, when our daughter was in third grade, a classmate announced that she posts inappropriate pictures of herself on Instagram. It turned out to be not true in this case, but that statement was a cry for attention. A cry for help!
As Dr. Mary Anne Franks, the tech policy director at the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative explains, “Parents have to be willing to talk to their children about sex and the importance of sexual consent. Otherwise, they leave children to learn about sex from peers, porn, and predators.” When we choose to teach them about sex ourselves, we can limit the sexual influences of other people and teach them how to deal with pressure from outside sources, like predators.
Whether parents like it or not, sexting is the new norm for this generation. Forbidding them from doing it won’t stop them. If that were the case, children would always do as their told. Is that the way it works? In most homes, the answer is no. Some treat sexting as comparable to dating – before their parents will actually let them go out on a date. Others see it as “getting to first base”.
The old saying, “Do as I say, not as I do,” is no longer acceptable.
Be a role model.
Additionally, parents need to realize that they are role models to their kids 24/7. When they see adults or older siblings do things, they expect that it’s acceptable behavior and will not realize it may not be good for them. In a new study that just came out from the founders of the Cyberbullying Research Center, boys, not girls, were more likely to be targeted for sextortion. This surprised them and would probably shock many parents, who tend to think more about protecting girls from online sexual predators.
In conclusion, by speaking to our children clearly and openly about sexuality and online dangers, we give them the knowledge they need to make healthier decisions. And when we begin the dialogue with them, they are more likely to be open with us when they are facing a questionable situation.
Prevention here is not worth an ounce of cure. It’s worth an immeasurable amount of cure!
How to Get Kids to Talk About Their Feelings
Last updated on February 8th, 2018 at 11:37 pm
If you’re worried about a child, encouraging them to talk can be very helpful, whether you’re a parent, grandparent, friend or teacher.
If you think a child you know has a problem, it can be hard to know how to start talking to them about it.
When there are problems at home, such as parents fighting, divorce or a death in the family, children can become withdrawn and upset.
Being able to talk to someone other than a parent is sometimes very helpful for children. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, teachers or even a counsellor can all offer support.
Look for clues in their play
Children express themselves through play as well as words. You can learn a lot about how they’re feeling by simply spending time with them and watching them play.
Stressed and upset children often play fighting games with their toys. Comment on this by saying, “There are a lot of fights going on” or “It seems pretty frightening”. This can help to get them talking about what’s bothering them.
Even if you don’t start a conversation, you’ll be making the child feel more comfortable with you, paving the way for them to open up to you about their problems.
If you can get them talking, gently ask what’s wrong. But if the child doesn’t want to open up, let the subject go, then repeat the process at another time until they’re ready to tell you what’s bothering them.
If a child is too frightened to talk
If you’re worried that a child you know might be being abused at home, it can help to ask a question like, “Is mummy getting very cross with you? You can tell me about it if you want to”.
A child might not understand that they’re being abused. They may simply see it as a parent being angry or annoyed with them.
Children who are being sexually abused often don’t talk about it because they think it’s their fault or they have been convinced by their abuser that it is normal or a “special secret”.
- See more signs of child sexual abuse.
Children will often ask if you’re going to tell anyone about what they’ve told you. Never promise not to tell, but explain that you’ll only tell other people who want to help.
If you suspect abuse, encourage them to call ChildLine** in the UK (0800 1111) or ring the NSPCC** yourself (0808 800 5000) in the U.K. and get advice about how to report it.
If a child is aggressive or misbehaving
If a child is fighting or being aggressive, they’re doing it for a good reason, and talking may help you discover the reason.
Start by telling the child that their bad behaviour is unacceptable and why – for example, because it will harm other people or get them into trouble. Then offer them the chance to talk about why they’re angry.
This might not work instantly because an angry child might not listen to you straight away. Don’t give up. Children are aware when they’re behaving badly, and it’s important to find out the reasons why.
- See more tips on dealing with child anger.
If your child is grieving
Young children don’t always understand what death means. It helps to explain it by saying, “Nana’s died. She’s not going to be with us any more”.
Watch children carefully if someone close to them has died. If they seem tearful or withdrawn, encourage them to open up about how they’re feeling by talking about the person who’s died.
You could say something like, “It’s very sad that Nana has died” or “I feel sad that Nana has died, and sometimes it’s hard to understand why people die”.
- See more about children and bereavement.
If you’re still worried about your child
If you are still concerned about your child after talking to them, see your GP (*physician) for further advice.
- See some tips on talking to teenagers.
Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US readers.
** Resources outside the U.K.:
- In the U.S. Childhelp is a non-profit Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD
- Children’s Helplines Worldwide: https://www.crin.org/en/library/publications/childrens-helplines-worldwide
From www.nhs.uk
Is Your Teenager In An Abusive Relationship? You CAN Help!
Last updated on October 17th, 2017 at 02:01 am
Violence can happen in teenage relationships, so make sure you know the signs and can help your child.
Abuse in relationships – including those between teenagers – can happen to men and boys, but it’s much more likely to happen to women and girls. It also happens in same-sex relationships.
Different types of abuse
Physical abuse can include hitting, kicking, punching, slapping, pushing, and pressuring or forcing someone into sexual activity.
Emotional and verbal abuse involves a person:
- saying things that make their partner feel small or stupid
- pressuring their partner to do things they don’t want to do, including sexual things
- checking up on their partner – for instance, by text – all the time to find out where they are and who they’re with
- threatening to hurt their partner or someone close to their partner, including pets
Warning signs your teen is being abused
Signs of abuse can include your child:
- no longer hanging out with their circle of friends
- not doing as well at school, or skipping school altogether
- constantly checking their phone
- being withdrawn and quieter than usual
- being angry and becoming irritable when asked how they’re doing
- making excuses for their boyfriend or girlfriend
- having unexplained scratches or bruises
- showing changes in mood or personality
- using drugs or alcohol
Warning signs your teen’s partner is abusive
It’s a sign of controlling or violent behaviour if your child’s boyfriend or girlfriend:
- gets extremely jealous
- monitors texts, messages, calls and emails, and gets angry if there isn’t an instant response
- has trouble controlling his or her emotions, particularly anger
- stops your child seeing or talking with friends and family as much as they’d like
- uses force during an argument
- blames others for his or her problems or feelings
- is verbally abusive
- shows threatening behaviour towards others
How to help
- Talk to your child about what’s OK and what’s not in a relationship. Some teenagers believe violence is “just the way things are”, or is “just messing around”.
- Make sure they understand that violent or controlling behaviour is not OK, and that nobody should put up with it.
- Some girls believe that if their boyfriend gets jealous or checks up on them, it means he loves them.
- Let your teenage girl know that this kind of behaviour is not about love or romance, it’s about control and her boyfriend making her behave in the way he wants.
- Some boys might believe that controlling their girlfriend’s behaviour makes them more of a man.
- Make sure your teenage boy knows that using violence does not make someone a man.
Talking tips
Before you start the conversation with your teenager, think through what your concerns are.
Consider talking about it confidentially with someone like your GP (*doctor) or a friend. This will help you understand your own feelings so you won’t be too emotional when you talk to your child.
Try not to talk to your teenager in a confrontational way. Say you’re worried about them and ask if everything’s OK.
Even if they don’t talk to you at this point, they might go away and think about things, and talk to you later.
Show your support
Tell your child they can always come to you, no matter what.
Victims of abuse can feel ashamed and believe (wrongly) that the abuse is their fault. Make it clear that being abused is never your child’s fault, and you will help them if they come to you.
You can also tell them about helplines, such as ChildLine (0800 11 11)** or the NSPCC (0808 800 5000)** in the UK, which they can call if they don’t feel they can talk to you.
Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US readers.
** Resources in the United States
- YourLifeYourVoice.org (800-448-3000)
- ChildHelp.org (1-800-4-A-Child)
From www.nhs.uk
Study: ‘Traumatic Childhoods’ Linked to Early Death as Adults
Last updated on March 29th, 2016 at 11:17 am
“Traumatic childhoods increase the risk of death before the age of 50 by up to 80%,” reports the Mail Online.
The news is based on research that followed children born during one week in 1958 to see whether they died prematurely (before a ge 50) and to see what adverse events they went through as children.
The researchers looked at childhood adverse experiences as reported by parents and teachers when the children were 7, 11 and 16 years of age. These bad experiences included spending time in (foster*) care, suffering from neglect, parental separation, or having a family member in prison. The researchers also took into account factors such as socioeconomic status and lifestyle during childhood and when people were young adults.
Give children the best start in life
Children can’t help their circumstances. Whatever their background and experiences, one of the best things you can do for your child is to have them vaccinated against the common childhood diseases.
These often potentially fatal diseases, such as measles, can be prevented simply by a free injection available from the NHS.
Find out when to get your child vaccinated at your local GP practice.
Overall, adverse childhood experiences were associated with a higher risk of death before 50. For those who had suffered two adverse experiences, this risk was 57% higher for men and 80% higher for women, compared to those with no such experiences.
If there is a true link, we still don’t know the exact reasons. The researchers speculate that adverse events change the way the brain is wired or that people who have experienced adversity develop short-term coping strategies that lead to long-term health damage. However, this can’t be proved by the current study. It may be that as yet unaccounted for factors explain the link between adverse events and premature mortality.
Where did the story come from?
The study was carried out by researchers from INSERM (The French National Institute for health and medical research) and other French and British research organisations and universities. It was funded by the French Institut National du Cancer and the Institut de recherche en santé publique and La Ligue nationale contre le cancer.
The study was published in the peer-reviewed European Journal of Epidemiology.
The Mail Online mostly reported the results of this study accurately. However, it’s headline cherry-picked the highest premature mortality figures (those of women experiencing two or more adverse life variables). The coverage also failed to mention the limitations of the study design (although the study was large and used the most appropriate study design, cohort studies cannot show causation, only association).
What kind of research was this?
This was a cohort study. It examined whether events causing stress responses during childhood are linked to premature mortality – defined in this study as death before 50 years of age.
This is the ideal study design to investigate this issue, although it cannot prove that events causing stress responses during childhood cause premature mortality, as other factors, called confounders, could be responsible for any association seen.
What did the research involve?
The researchers used results from 7,816 men and 7,405 women who were part of a cohort study of people born during one week in 1958 in Great Britain (the 1958 National Child Development Study).
Information was collected when people were 7, 11, 16, 23, 33, 42, 46, and 50 years of age.
Childhood adverse experiences were reported by parents and teachers at 7, 11 and 16 years of age. The following were counted as adverse experiences:
- Being put into (foster*) care by age 7, 11 or 16
- Physical neglect, including being undernourished or dirty at ages 7 or 11
- Having a family member in prison or on probation (at age 11) or in contact with the probation services (age seven or all) or being imprisoned or on probation at age 16
- Being separated from their father or mother due to death, divorce or separation at 7, 11 or 16 years of age
- Having a family member with a mental illness at ages 7, 11 or 16 or having someone in the household in contact with the mental health services at ages 7 or 11
- Having a family member with an alcohol abuse problem at seven years of age
Deaths were monitored through death certificates. The researchers looked at the relationship between adverse childhood experiences and death before 50 years of age after controlling for “early life variables” and for characteristics at 23 years of age. These early life variables included:
- Mother’s age at birth
- The number of people per household
- Whether the mother’s partner was employed in manual or non-manual labour
- Mother’s educational level
- Maternal smoking during pregnancy
- Gender
- Gestational age at birth
- How many pregnancies the mother had previously had
- Birth weight
- Breastfeeding
- Congenital conditions
- Moderate/severe disabilities
- Chronic respiratory or circulatory conditions
- Sensory impairments
- Special schooling
Characteristics at 23 years of age included:
- Educational attainment
- Occupational social class
- Symptoms of depression
- Alcohol consumption
- Smoking status
- Body mass index (BMI)
What were the basic results?
- In the cohort, 70% of people had experienced no adverse childhood experiences, 22% had experienced one adverse childhood experience and 8% had experienced two or more adverse childhood experiences. Between the ages of 16 and 50 4.1% of men and 2.4% of women died.
- In men, the risk of death was 57% higher among those who had experienced two or more adversities compared to those men who had experienced none (hazard ratio (HR) 1.57, 95% confidence interval (CI) 1.13 to 2.18).
- In women, the risk of premature mortality increased with increasing number of adverse experiences. Women with one childhood adverse experience had a 66% increased risk of death (HR 1.66, 95% CI 1.19 to 2.33) and women who had had two or more had an 80% increased risk (HR 1.80, 95% CI 1.10 to 2.95) compared to women who had had none.
How did the researchers interpret the results?
The researchers conclude that the results, “point towards early life stressful events, particularly in a child’s [family] environment, being risk factors for long term health across the lifecourse and premature mortality possibly via the mechanisms of biological embedding which may occur via social, neuro-cognitive or behavioural pathways.”
Conclusion
This large cohort study found that (after taking into account early life and young adult sociological and lifestyles) being exposed to adverse childhood events was associated with an increased risk of premature death.
In men, having two or more adverse childhood experiences was associated with a 57% higher risk of death by age 50, compared to men who had none. In women, one childhood adverse experience was associated with a 66% increased risk of death, two or more was associated with an 80% increased risk of death by age 50, compared to women who’d had none.
Although the study was large, collected data as it went along (prospectively), and used the most appropriate study design, cohort studies cannot show causation, only association. And as this was a long-term cohort study, it had to deal with a significant amount of missing data. It did this by assuming that data was missing at random.
If there is a true link between adverse events in childhood and premature death, the reasons for this remain unknown. The researchers suggest that childhood exposure to adverse experiences could affect brain or other biological system development. Or, they suggest, it could encourage behaviours which reduce stress in the short-term but increase mortality in the long-term. However, this is speculative.
It is possible that the study has not been able to fully account for all health-related or environmental factors that could be associated with both adverse events and premature death, and it could be these that influence the relationship.
Analysis by Bazian. Edited by NHS Choices. Follow Behind the Headlines on Twitter.
Summary
“Traumatic childhoods increase the risk of death before the age of 50 by up to 80%,” reports the Mail Online. The news is based on research that followed children born during one week in 1958.
Links to Headlines
- Traumatic childhoods increase the risk of death before the age of 50 by up to 80%, claims study. Mail Online, September 9 2013
Links to Science
- Kelly-Irving K, et al. Adverse childhood experiences and premature all-cause mortality. European Journal of Epidemiology. Published online July 2013
Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US readers.
From www.nhs.uk
Teen Sex Tips: How to Say No
Last updated on January 20th, 2016 at 12:57 pm
Nobody has the right to make you go further than you want to. You also have every right to say no, at any point, whoever you’re with. If you want to have sex but your boyfriend or girlfriend or friend doesn’t, you must respect their feelings.
First Time or Not
You might think from what you hear from friends that all young people are having sex. But the average age for having sex for the first time is 16, and not everyone does it at that age. Some people wait until they’re older.
So you’re not the only one saying no. Even if you’ve had sex before, this doesn’t mean you have to do it again. It’s up to you every time.
When you meet someone you like, it might take weeks, months or even years before you’re both ready for sex. Take it slow, and think about your feelings, as well as theirs. Never rush or push each other into it.
Try talking about the relationship. Communicating helps you to know when the time is right, and to know exactly how you both feel, rather than guessing.
How to Say No
People who want to have sex might say things to try to get you into bed. Here are some ideas of what you can say in return:
They say: “Don’t you fancy (*like) me?”
You say: “Yes, but I respect you too,” or “You’re gorgeous but I want to know you better.”
They say: “My friends think we should have done it by now.”
You say: “They don’t know what’s best for us,” or “You should care more about what I think.”
They say: “We don’t need to use a condom.”
You say: “I’m not ready to be a parent and I don’t want to risk getting an infection.”
They say: “Let’s just get it over with.”
You say: “If we wait until we’re ready it’ll be much better.”
They say: “If you loved me you’d want to do it.”
You say: “It’s because I love you that I want to wait,” or “If you loved me you wouldn’t say that.”
They say: “If we don’t do it soon, I’ll explode!”
You say: “You need biology lessons … it’s not bad for you to wait.”
They say: “But you’re 16.”
You say: “Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean I have to. I’ll decide when I’m ready.”
If you both agree to have sex, make sure that:
- You use condoms to protect yourselves from sexually transmitted infections.
- You use contraception to help prevent an unintended pregnancy – find out about the 15 methods of contraception
Practice Saying No
It might sound strange, but try practicing saying no:
- “No, I’m not ready.”
- “No, I don’t want to.”
- “No, it doesn’t feel right.”
Or simply:
- “No.”
If you don’t want to have sex, anyone who really likes you will respect your decision even if you’ve had sex with them before.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend says something like, “If you loved me you’d do it”, don’t fall for it. It’s emotional blackmail. However much you love or like them, you don’t have to have sex with them to prove it.
Sexual Assault
A sexual assault can range from inappropriate touching to a life-threatening attack. It’s a myth that victims of sexual assault always look battered and bruised. A sexual assault may not leave any outward signs, but it’s still a crime.
Victims are most likely to be young women aged 16 to 24. But men and women of any age, race, ability or sexuality can be assaulted. This could be by a stranger or, much more likely, someone you know. It could be a partner, former partner, husband, relative, friend or colleague. Don’t be afraid to get help.
Find out where to get help after a sexual assault.
Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is when one person in a relationship is abusive towards another. This could be emotional, physical or sexual abuse, including forcing you into sexual activity against your will. If this has happened to you, help is available.
Find out:
- Where to go for help if you’ve experienced domestic abuse
- Information for male victims of domestic abuse
Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US readers.
- Info for teens on relationships, sex, and sexual health: StayTeen.org
- Information and resources on sexual/domestic violence:
From www.nhs.uk
Tips for Protecting Your Kids from Child Abuse
Last updated on May 4th, 2015 at 11:38 am
The chances of your child being harmed by an adult are very small. But there are still steps you can take to protect your child.
People who abuse children can come from all walks of life, and all ages, classes and professions. They can also be women.
Often, victims of child abuse know their abuser. It could be a family member, friend or someone in a trusted position, such as a coach or mentor. After abusing a child, abusers may tell a child to keep it a secret and even threaten them.
If you think a child is being abused, take action. Call the NSPCC child protection helpline on 0808 800 5000 or textphone 0800 056 0566 to talk about your concerns (in the US call your local Social Services or Children and Family Services Department*). If your child or a child you know is abused, call the police immediately. You could also talk to your GP (family doctor*), health adviser or social services for advice about child abuse.
How Child Abuse Happens
Abusers often ‘groom’ children before they abuse them. Grooming is the term used when an abuser gets to know a child, perhaps buying them presents or taking them for days out in order to gain their trust.
If a child doesn’t feel loved or is insecure at home they may be more vulnerable.
Abusers often put themselves in positions or places where they can be close to children, for example playgrounds, nurseries, parks and youth groups.
Sometimes, people who abuse children make friends with parents in order to get close to a child. Single parents may be more vulnerable to this.
Protecting Your Child
Perhaps the best thing you can do for your children is to make them feel loved and valued. Give them the confidence to believe in themselves and to get out of situations they don’t feel comfortable in.
Be very cautious if an adult acquaintance seems to be more interested in your child than you, for example if they always want to babysit or take your child out alone.
Let your child know that you are always there for them and will believe what they tell you. Children rarely lie about abuse.
Educate your children about stranger danger:
- Give your child a curfew and emphasise how important it is that they let you know where they are at all times.
- Make sure your child is not alone when they go out. Go with them to meet their friends and pick them up straight after.
- Teach your child that it’s safer to hang around with a group of friends. If they have to walk to school without you, encourage them to walk with other children, particularly in winter when it gets dark early. Or, if you can’t pick them up, arrange for another friend or family member that your child is familiar with to meet them.
- Teach your child to ignore strangers who talk to them. They can pretend they haven’t heard and walk away quickly.
- Tell them that if an adult does anything to make them feel afraid, they must speak up and get to a safe place immediately.
- Tell your child that they must never get into a car with someone they don’t know. If someone in a car asks them for directions, they must keep away from the car so that they cannot be grabbed and can run away if they need to.
Educate Your Child
Educate your child from an early age about his or her body. Let them know that their body is their own. Tell them which parts are private and should not be touched by anybody.
Sex education should start early so children understand what is appropriate and what is not. Children who are abused often don’t understand what is happening to them. Learn more in Talking to your teenager about sex.
Many children feel afraid to disobey an adult. Teach them that if any adult makes them uncomfortable, scares them or touches them in a way that is not right, whether it’s a stranger or someone they know, they have the right to say no and to shout for help.
Tell them that they should get away from that person immediately and then come and tell you.
Your Child Online
Chat rooms and social networking sites on the internet are ideal for abusers and paedophiles looking for children. Abusers can pretend to be anyone, and gain the confidence and trust of a child.
Don’t panic and ban your child from using the internet altogether. The internet is a useful tool. If you ban them from using it, they won’t learn how to use it safely.
Instead, take an interest in what they do online, and keep an eye out for changes in their online behaviour. For example, they may suddenly spend much longer online, or trying to hide what they’re doing.
Supervise your child to make sure they don’t visit any sites that you’re unhappy with.
Talk to your child about the dangers of chatrooms and social networking sites. Tell them never to give out personal details such as their real name, address, email or phone number.
Ask them what they would do in certain situations, for example if someone in a chatroom asks for personal information.
Always have your family computer in a room where you can see what your child is doing.
It may be best to prevent a young child from posting photographs of themself and their friends online. Talk to the parents of your child’s friends about this, and find out what their policy on internet use is. Other children could post group photographs that include your child.
If your child makes a friend on the internet and wants to meet up with them in person, never let them go without an adult. Go with them yourself if you can, and make sure you meet in a public place with lots of people around, for example a café or shopping centre.
Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US audience.
From www.nhs.uk
