The Terrible Twos: A Normal Child Development Stage
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:14 pm
It happens to every parent: One day you notice your sweet, loving baby has morphed into a defiant, tantrum-prone child who’s moody for no reason and loves to say no. Don’t worry, it’s a normal part of child development, and your child is just pushing the envelope, testing his boundaries to see what you’ll allow him to get away with.
Here’s how to get through this tougher side of childhood.
Why the twos can be terrible
Imagine that you’ve suddenly gone through a major developmental spurt that’s given you the ability to communicate, think, and even move like never before. It’s sort of like having superpowers – and naturally, you want to test them out to see how far they’ll get you. That’s sort of what life is like for your child during this stage. And when frustration occurs (perhaps brought on by the fact that you told him he cannot stay up past his bedtime), his mood may change, he may tell you no, or he may send a tantrum your way.
How to get through it
The most important thing to remember during this phase is to not take it personally. Just because your child tried to bite you in a fit of rage doesn’t actually mean he loves you less. He’s just frustrated. The best way to help him cope with his negative feelings is to boost his confidence, which will actually help him feel more independent (and, consequently, less frustrated). Here’s how.
Encourage exploration
Let your child feed his curiosity by allowing him to explore his world as much as possible in a safe way. If something’s not safe, tell him no – he’ll eventually come to learn what’s acceptable and what isn’t.
Offer praise
Boost your child’s self-esteem by letting him know when he’s done a good job. If he plays nicely with his friend or completes the task you asked him to (like changing into his pajamas), tell him how happy and proud you are.
Be consistent
Even though your child may be continuously reaching milestones, he might still have his bad days – don’t we all! Don’t let a tantrum or bad mood throw your resolve. Soon, he’ll grow out of it!
4 Thumb-sucking Remedies That Work
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:14 pm
Got a sucker? As sweet as it may seem when your kids are toddlers, the nasty habit can wreak havoc on tooth and mouth development if it continues after adult teeth appear, or around age 5. Most kids stop on their own before then; others respond to gentle reminders or praise. But if your kids’ digits remain the go-to soother once they’ve started school, try these mom-tested tips for kicking the habit.
Focus on fashion: At age 3, Imani Robinson loved her two middle fingers. But she loved fashion more! Her mom, Kenya Robinson of Los Angeles, used colorful band-aids to help her kick the habit. Imani loved the pink girly ones so much she didn’t dare get them wet.
Find a role model: Whether it’s an older sibling or the cool kid down the street, find an impressive role model who either quit the habit or never started it. That’s what worked for Fred Gabriel’s younger son Jeremy. “He really wanted to emulate his big brother Sam — and Sam never sucked his thumb,” says the Kent, Conn., dad.
Dial the doctor or dentist: Sometimes, parents aren’t the best authority figures. Elena Tapper’s middle son, Dylan, was very selective sucker — going for the thumb only when he had a snuggly in hand, which was never in public. Nothing the Montclair, N.J., mom said made a difference. But when Dylan was nearly 6, the dentist sat him down and made a deal with him: On his birthday, he’d quit cold turkey. It worked.
Get creative: It took a story and a song to get Kristen Jenkins’s 3-year-old daughter Olivia to stop sucking her thumb. The Harrisburg, Penn., mom read The Berenstain Bears and the Bad Habit and made up a song to go with it: “I’m 3; no more thumb for me!” Six week later, the job was done. Andrea Van Ness of Denver grew so frustrated by her son Charlie’s incessant thumb-sucking, she created Thumbuddy To Love, a sucking cessation system that includes finger puppets, a storybook and success stickers. Her son quit in two weeks and launched her into entrepreneurship.
Stopping finger-sucking doesn’t have to be a painful process — and it may save you from future pain and expense at the orthodontist’s.
Is Sitting at a Computer Hurting Your Child?
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm
I ache. Frequently. You’ll understand if you’ve ever had it. Back pain. More debilitating than you could have ever imagined….until you’re actually experiencing it. And then there’s the treatment and coping strategies, sometimes painful and difficult, other times seemingly goofy but necessary. I particularly remember the spectacle I was at the office for several months – scaring colleagues when they discovered me lying prostrate on the floor in an empty cubicle, hiding in small meeting rooms to do pelvic exercises and surely defying some corporate dress code with the fluorescent orange crocs I wore when standing at my computer.
But back pain is just the jumping off point for this story….where it led me is on a journey into the world of office “ergonomics.” Significant and increasing numbers of workplace injuries are related to poor workstation ergonomics – or, said another way, computer stations and desks that don’t properly fit the person using them. The field of ergonomics is full of technical terms and fancy equipment but, in the end, it’s really about the kind of common sense advice you used to get from your grandmother: “don’t slouch,” “sit up straight,” “keep your legs in front of your chair and your feet on the floor” – and its relevance unfortunately goes way beyond the world of factories and office workers.
Although a focus on “ergonomics for children” is relatively recent, we know that children are subject to many ergonomic stresses – from heavy backpacks to long periods of study or play in front of computers, often at desks that are not set up for their size. Data is currently limited on the immediate risks to kids for injuries like neck and back pain and carpal tunnel syndrome, but given that it takes several years for these types of injuries to appear, can we afford to take a “wait and see” attitude?
What can Parents, Schools and Child Safety Advocates Do?
Know what good looks like. Can you recognize healthy computer posture? Do you model these habits at home? Despite all the knowledge I gained at work, I realized I wasn’t following the advice at home because I didn’t have the same set-up and equipment. But a little education and some simple, inexpensive “fixes” can help get your family on the right path (see box below for tips on healthy computer use).
Teach your children. Mastering proper computer use will be of life-long value to any child in today’s high-tech knowledge economy. Children should know how to work safely at the computer and be aware of the risks of poor habits. However, many children learn better visually. In addition to discussing good posture, consider placing photos of good and bad computer ergonomics next to your home or school computers. Some sites provide examples you can print (see Cornell photos and comic), but you can also have your children be the models. They will find it fun to have their photos on the wall and might learn more by having to demonstrate both good and bad habits!
Monitor the situation. Kids aren’t as aware as adults of their body position, so you will need to give regular reminders about their posture. Also monitor their time on the computer – ensure they take breaks every 30-60 minutes. You can download free usage monitoring software that reminds kids when they need to take a break and suggests stretches to do – or you can always set a kitchen timer (click here for Cornell’s stretching exercises-scroll to #4).
Focus on schools. School districts worldwide are focused on increasing student access to computers; however, the majority of emphasis is on the quality of the computers, not the workstations. Check to see if your school or district has computer ergonomics guidelines and curricula. This is becoming a higher priority in education, as evidenced by last year’s ergonomics equipment and teaching resolutions passed by the California state-wide PTA organization. And just like at home, improvements don’t have to require lots of expensive equipment.
Healthy Computer Use for Kids
Start with looking at how well the computer station fits your child or students. Is the computer used for the whole family, or a range of different-sized kids? If your child is having to contend with a poorly fitting workstation, problems may be on the horizon. To ensure healthy computer use by children – by anyone – the most valuable thing to remember is the 90-degree rule: that key body elements should be at “right” or “90-degree” angles when sitting at a computer to maintain natural body alignment and not cause stress through over or under extension. A few useful guidelines:
Chair / Lower Body
Keyboard and Mouse / Upper Body
Monitor / Head and Neck
I’m A Special Needs Soccer Mom …she’s come a long way, baby
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm
My child is now on a soccer team. That seems like such a mundane statement, and the driving to and from games and the extra strain to find time to do homework and make dinner is wearing me out. But in the middle of it all I try to take a moment to remember that the fact that she is on a soccer team is not mundane at all – in fact, it is almost miraculous! Doctors told us she might never walk or talk, and yet there she is up and down the field, calling to her teammates. Yes, her legs might be a bit more stiff than the other girls and yes, sometimes her teammates don’t exactly understand what she is saying but for the most part she is just another girl on the team. She is ecstatic when they win and sullen when they lose, just like all the other girls. At one point my baby was labeled “failure to thrive” and the doctor started strongly suggesting a feeding tube. We resisted and worked on finding another answer.
This year at her annual checkup I got a lecture about how much weight she has gained the past year.
When we first got her diagnosis and grim predictions for her future I remember telling my family that I couldn’t allow myself to be upset about a future that might never happen – I had infant twins in my care, plus their toddler big brother. I was buried in diapers, feedings, laundry and medicine schedules. I was too tired to be upset. I had no choice but to take it one moment at a time. Of course I wanted to crawl under a rock, but babies have a way of demanding things, like food and attention and clean clothes.
If you have a newly diagnosed special needs child I am not saying don’t worry, everything will be fine. But I am saying to listen to your doctors, do your research, find support and take it one moment at a time – one bottle, one Sesame Street song or one load of laundry at a time.
Raising Optimistic Children
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm
A 2011 study in Pediatrics, examined optimism in 5,634 children who began taking 
part in the research when they were 12 to 14 years old. The researchers found that the quarter of kids who were the most optimistic had almost half the risk of showing signs of depression compared with those who were least optimistic. Being highly optimistic only had a “modest” link to less heavy substance abuse and antisocial behavior. Likely because substance use and antisocial behavior have strong genetic correlates.
Raising optimistic children has been meaningfully explored by Dr. Martin Seligman since he studied learned helplessness in the 1970’s. In 1991, Seligman published Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Since that time, his influence on the field of Positive Psychology has been instrumental in teaching the public that what you think and how you reframe your life experiences impacts your life view as well as your health. People who rate high on optimism live longer, have better mental health and are physically healthier than people who rate high on pessimism.
If you are wishing to encourage optimism in your children consider these time-honored strategies:
- Help your children set themselves up for success. Participating in tasks, academic activities and physical sports that are within your child’s ability will provide them with positive experiences increasing their self-esteem and allowing them to see themselves as capable.
- Give specific feedback on what your child does well. Instead of offering general praise, be specific. “You practiced so many multiplication problems that you earned an A on your recent test.” “Your effort and practice earn you better grades.”
- Validate their feelings offering some strategies for looking more hopefully at the circumstances. “It didn’t feel very good to miss the goal at soccer, but your footwork on the field was excellent. Daddy and I will play more with you in the backyard so you are better prepared for the next time.”
- Use positive not negative labels. Negative labels lead children to believe they are the label. So use positive labels when talking with and about your child. As an example, when your child exhibits a behavior that is unsuitable such as whining refrain from calling your child a “whiner” and practice using a new tone with your child. “Joey, when you ask for what you want in a positive tone, I can respond better to you.” “Let’s use a happy tone as we talk with one another.”
- Comment on the bright side. “I know it’s raining so we must play indoors, this is our chance to make a huge train station today.”
Raising optimistic children begins with you. Seeing the positive side of life experiences, learning from mishaps and practicing positive thoughts leads to happier children. You can find more ideas and strategies for raising the optimism quotient in your family by reading Martin Seligman’s book The Optimistic Child.
Did You Know You Can Impact How Fast Your Child Learns?
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm
US researchers Betty Hart and Tod Risley had devoted their lives to developing pre-school programs to bring poor underachieving children up to the level of learning of professors’ children. After years of research and work they realised, ‘We failed!’
They concluded that the rate at which a child’s vocabulary grows is a key to the child’s growth in intelligence . . . But
‘Vocabulary growth rates are unalterable by age four’. Something is happening in the homes before children come to early learning programs that enables rapid vocabulary growth.
Consequently they changed the direction of their research and organised a major research project to find out what was happening in the children’s homes before age four.
“The data revealed that,
- In an average hour together, some parents spent more than 40 minutes interacting with their child, and other parents spent less than 15 minutes.
- Some parents responded more than 250 times an hour to their child, and other responded fewer than 50 times.
- Some parents expressed approval and encouragement of their child’s actions more than 40 times an hour, and others less than 4 times.
- Some parents said more than 3,000 words to their child in an average hour together, and others said fewer than 500 words.
- The data showed that, for each family, the amount the parents talked to their children was so consistent over time that the differences in the children’s language experience, mounting up month by month, were enormous by age 3.”[1]
“With few exceptions, the more parents talked to their children, the faster the children’s vocabularies were growing and the higher the children’s IQ test scores at age 3 and later. Amount of parent talk accounted for all the correlation between socioeconomic status (and/or race) and the verbal intellectual accomplishments of these 42 young American children.” [2]
Another discovery of Hart and Risley’s work is that families have two kinds of talk—which Hart and Risley call ‘Business talk’ and ‘Extra talk’.
The amount of business talk was similar in all families: “Come here”, “Stop that”, “It’s 12 o’clock.” But there were large differences in the amount of “Extra talk” and these differences were particularly related to children’s intellectual growth.
“. . . when parents engaged children in more talk than was needed to take care of business, the content changed automatically. When parents began to discuss feelings, plans, present activities, and past events, the vocabulary became more varied and the descriptions richer in nuances. Their talk also became more positive and responsive to their children’s talk.”[3]
The “style” of non-business talk was similar across parents. The difference was how often such “extra” talk occurred.
“ . . . the most important aspect of children’s language experience is its amount.”
If parents need to place very young children in childcare, Hart and Risley say,
“the most important aspect to evaluate in child care settings for very young children is the amount of talk actually going on, moment by moment, between children and their caregivers.”[4]
Researchers assume that the speaking of many words to the child, in the home, forces the child’s brain to make many more connections between neurons, and so build a more efficient brain.
References:
- [1] Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1995. Meaningful Differences in the Everyday Life of Young American Children. Baltimore, London, Sydney: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Company. p. xx.
Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1999. The Social World of Children Learning to Talk. Baltimore, London, Sydney: Paul Brookes Publishing Co. - [2] Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1995. Meaningful Differences in the Everyday Life of Young American Children. p. xx
- [3] Meaningful Differences, p. xx.
- [4] Meaningful Differences, p. xi.
