Does My Daughter Have Autism? Do Labels Help or Hurt?
Last updated on September 12th, 2016 at 04:00 pm
I took my twins to the mall last weekend so she could hunt for her latest fandom obsession plush and he could hunt for Pokemon. While in GameStop, one of our favorite stores, a noticed a young man in a bright blue shirt. I think I noticed him because he held his arms at an unusual angle. When I looked up at his handsome face I recognized some signs of autism. He was enjoying himself in the store when we left for our next destination. After a few other stops we were outside in a courtyard when the bright blue shirt walked by us again. He made eye contact with me so I smiled at him, and as I walked by he said, “Does she have autism?”
This question has plagued me since she was very young. I don’t care if she has autism, that’s not what I mean. It is nice to have a diagnosis sometimes; It helps you to understand things better and can guide treatment. My only concern was that I didn’t want her to struggle with additional challenges or labels.
As I looked at the handsome young face I had flashbacks.
During a procedure back when she was a tiny child battling severe GERD, she single-handedly fought off an entire surgical team and they had to call me into the OR to sing to her and calm her down. After she slipped under anesthesia her doctor told the team that she was autistic as an apology, and I got ticked at him – and let him know that – of course after he had safely completed the procedure.
During an assessment when she was a toddler she played happily at a toy box, totally ignoring the doctor as he asked her questions. I knew she would ace the test and he was marking her as if she didn’t have the required knowledge or skills so I went over and brought her onto my lap. Then I administered the test to her, and of course she blew through it with flying colors. The doctor was amazed and told me he was going to diagnose her with severe autism until he saw the reactions I got out of her.
In both of these instances I was horrified at the presumptions of the professionals (who were both very nice and very competent, btw). I mean, if I was a small child and strangers in gowns and masks were coming at me I would fight like hell, too – autism or no autism! And if I was a toddler and a strange man was asking me questions I didn’t really feel like answering I would probably find the toy box much more interesting and just ignore him, too!
While I sometimes wished for a diagnosis of autism because I thought it would get her additional services and therapies, the opposite turned out to be true. Recently we decided to try some behavioral therapy, and (GET THIS!) if she had a diagnosis of autism the therapy would not be paid for by the Regional Center, but since she does NOT have autism the therapy is provided. That seems completely backwards to me, but that is the structure of the system, at least where we live.
Back to the present moment outside the mall. The question seemed to be hanging in the air. “Does she have autism?” I looked from the young man to my daughter, who was hiding behind a pole with wide eyes beside her twin brother. I felt like she was waiting for the answer as much as he was. I finally found my voice.
“No, she doesn’t. She has something else. Do you?”
“Yes, I do.” I loved that he wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed of himself! I asked where he went to school, but he had graduated. I told him I worked in a high school with kids with autism and I asked what he was going to do after school. He said he wanted to get a job. I asked him where he wanted to work and he had a few places in mind. He was very tall and had a deep voice but after I got him talking he seemed much younger than a high school graduate. After a few moments of chatting I wished him luck and we waved goodbye.
My twins don’t understand how I can talk to just anybody. “But do you know him?” they kept asking me. I shrugged and told them that I know him now.
I keep wondering why he picked my child out of a crowded store. Was it her mannerisms? Her speech pattern? Was it just a coincidence that we ran into him again outside, or had he followed us? I considered my child, who despite her youngish pink tutu skirt and sequined ice cream cone shirt looks more and more like a young woman every day. The young man and my daughter had a lot in common. Maybe I had met my future son in law. That had better be FAR in the future son in law.
Do you or someone you know have a special needs child? Have “labels” helped or hurt?
AMC is Screening War Dogs Sensory Friendly Tomorrow
Last updated on August 28th, 2016 at 04:18 pm
AMC Entertainment (AMC) has expanded their Sensory Friendly Films program in partnership with the Autism Society! This Tuesday evening, families affected by autism or other special needs have the opportunity to view a sensory friendly screening of War Dogs, a film that may appeal to older audiences on the autism spectrum.
As always, the movie auditoriums will have their lights turned up and the sound turned down. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.
AMC and the Autism Society will be showing War Dogs tomorrow, Tuesday, August 23rd at 7pm (local time). Tickets are $4 to $6 depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).
Coming Soon: Pete’s Dragon (Sat, 8/27); Kubo and the Two Strings (Sat, 9/10); Sully (Tues, 9/13)
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Editor’s note: Although War Dogs has been chosen by the Autism Society for a Tuesday Sensory Friendly screening, we do want parents to know that it is rated R by the Motion Picture Association of America for language throughout, drug use and some sexual references. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your family.
This Month, Pete’s Dragon is Sensory Friendly Twice at AMC
Last updated on August 22nd, 2016 at 04:31 pm
AMC Entertainment (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and other special needs “Sensory Friendly Films” every month – a wonderful opportunity to enjoy fun new films in a safe and accepting environment.
The movie auditoriums will have their lights turned up and the sound turned down. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. 
Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.
Sat. August 13th and in 2 weeks on Sat. August 27th at 10am (local time), families affected by autism or other special needs have the opportunity to view a sensory friendly screening of Pete’s Dragon. Tickets are $4 to $6 depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).
Still to come in August: War Dogs (Tues, 8/23)
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Editor’s note: Although Pete’s Dragon has been chosen by the AMC and the Autism Society as this month’s Sensory Friendly Film, we do want parents to know that it is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America for action, peril and brief language. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your child.
Suicide Squad is Sensory Friendly Tomorrow Night at AMC
Last updated on August 10th, 2016 at 05:12 pm
As always, the movie auditoriums will have their lights turned up and the sound turned down. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.
AMC and the Autism Society will be showing Suicide Squad tomorrow, Tuesday, August 9th at 7pm (local time). Tickets are $4 to $6 depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).
Coming Soon: Pete’s Dragon (Sat, 8/13 & 8/27); War Dogs (Tues, 8/23)
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Editor’s note: Although Suicide Squad has been chosen by the Autism Society for a Tuesday Sensory Friendly screening, we do want parents to know that it is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America for sequences of violence and action throughout, disturbing behavior, suggestive content and language. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your family.
My Special-Needs Child is Now a Tween …Wait, Not Ready Yet!
Last updated on August 5th, 2016 at 01:36 pm
My child is now officially a tween. She has one foot still firmly planted in childhood, wanting to play games and pretend and collect stuffed animals. With the other foot she has started to dip her toe into the shallow end of early womanhood. This terrifies her, and it terrifies me even more.
Just yesterday, even as she complained about the smell as I polished my nails, she flattened her hands out on the table and asked for a manicure. She has started to put together cute, funky outfits and has a good eye for coordinating colors. The child that would not even let us brush her hair has now even expressed interest in wearing clips and bows in it.She insists on wearing (low) heels when she does her chores. She has already had her heart broken by a friend and been disappointed by many others. She is so eager to be part of a group that I worry that she will make some bad choices or give in to peer pressure. I guess every tween mom has those worries, but not every mom is worrying about a child with a developmental delay.
Inclusion is becoming a slippery slope. In the near future while she is spending time with typically developing kids her own age, she will be presented with choices she many not be equipped to make. Will her friends understand this? Will she understand this?
In many ways she is truly a “tween” – a high functioning kid but still very much dealing with special needs and at the same time a blossoming teenager wanting to go out with friends. Do I shield her from these situations and have her miss out on learning opportunities and experiences? Or will I give her some freedom, but sneak a GPS into the hem of her shirt? Should I claim to be dropping her off at the movies but then spy on her from a few rows back?
I am going to have to take the upcoming future one day at a time. Like her progress up until now, we will probably see her take two steps forward and one step back…in increasingly higher heels. Whether she takes actual physical or metaphorical falls, we will always be there to catch her.
Ghostbusters is Sensory Friendly Tomorrow at AMC
Last updated on July 27th, 2016 at 11:36 pm
AMC Entertainment (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and other special needs “Sensory Friendly Films” every month – a wonderful opportunity to enjoy fun new films in a safe and accepting environment.
The movie auditoriums will have their lights turned up and the sound turned down. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. 
But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.
This month, AMC and the Autism Society’s “Sensory Friendly Film” are offering the chance to see Ghostbusters on Tuesday, July 26th at 7pm local time. Tickets are $4 to $6 depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).
Coming in August: Suicide Squad (Tues, 8/9); Pete’s Dragon (Sat, 8/13 & 8/27); War Dogs (Tues, 8/23)
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Editor’s note: Although Ghostbusters has been chosen by the AMC and the Autism Society as this month’s Sensory Friendly Film, we do want parents to know that it is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America for supernatural action and some crude humor. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your child.
