Put the Brakes on TV
Last updated on March 3rd, 2018 at 10:38 am
It’s no secret that most kids watch too much television. For years, developmental psychologists and pediatricians have sounded the alarm that excessive tube time contributes to an array of modern childhood problems – from obesity to a failure to develop new interests. The good news is: If you start early, you can raise kids with a balanced and appropriate TV diet. Here’s how:
Set Limits
Sit down with your child to choose acceptable shows that he or she actually wants to watch. That way, TV is about watching particular programs rather than channel surfing. “When you do this with children from a very young age, they will have internalized this idea by the time they’re teenagers,” says Sylvia Rimm, Ph.D., director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland and author of Growing Up Too Fast (Rodale Press). “They’ll usually turn on the television only for something specific, and they’ll know that there are other activities that are at least equally rewarding.” Each school year and summer vacation can begin with a family sit-down focused on picking shows your children are allowed to watch.
Choose the Time
Once you’ve decided what programs to tune in to, it’s time to decide when your kids can watch them. Dr. Rimm recommends allotting a set number of hours per day (or week) for TV watching. For Julie Brown, 34, of Los Angeles, the magic number is one. “I allow my 5-year-old and 2-year-old one hour of TV per day – a half-hour in the morning and then a half-hour at night,” she says. “I set an egg timer, and when the buzzer goes off, TV time is over.”
Watch Family-style
Nothing wipes out family time faster than giving kids their own TV. “The minute I got my daughter a TV for her bedroom, it was over. We never saw her after dinner,” says Andrea Keen, 37, of Rye, N.Y. “After six months, my husband and I decided to give it to the Salvation Army, but not without loud protesting from my daughter which could have been avoided had we never bought the thing for her in the first place.”
When you keep a family TV in a common area like the living room or den, you’re more likely to watch together. “Watching television as a family is much better for kids than individualized viewing,” says Dr. Rimm. “If this can become routine in the family, kids will actually look forward to and initiate this kind of time together.” Enforcing TV rules are also easier when the television is in plain view.
Reward Them With TV
Jan Frazier, 32, of Oklahoma City, uses TV as a reward for good behavior and a job well done. “If my 4- and 5-year-olds make good choices during the day, they earn their TV time for the evening,” she explains. “If bath time and bedtime go smoothly, they’re allowed to watch TV the next morning. That way, TV becomes more of a treat — and it’s a bargaining chip I use to encourage my kids to behave.” Another benefit: Making TV a reward for exercise increased kids’ physical activity by 65 percent, according to a study by the University of Ottawa, in Canada. Some parents even park kid-sized exercise bikes in front of the TV to curb couch-potato tendencies.
Provide Alternatives
Believe it or not, kids will often choose fun and challenging activities over TV – if they have the opportunity. That’s where parents come in. “There are all sorts of things that even overworked parents can muster the energy to do with their kids, from model building to card games to gardening,” says Dr. Rimm. “When there are other fun things happening in and out of the home, the TV rules become less necessary to enforce.”
So turn off the TV and read your kids a book. Play “Candy Land.” Put on a puppet show. Instead of watching the on-screen exploits of SpongeBob, Elmo or Dora, go out and create your own adventures!
Keeping Your Child Healthy on Airplanes
Last updated on August 29th, 2015 at 09:15 pm
Many cold and flu viruses are transmitted when you touch surfaces. And when you’re on airplanes, you’re touching armrests and tray tables that may not be very clean. Since so many people are touching the same surfaces, it’s all too easy to pick up germs on your hands.
So always have your child wash hands thoroughly before and after using the bathroom on a plane. And when you can’t get access to a sink and soap, use a hand sanitizer that has at least 60 percent alcohol. If you’re worried about the drying effects of alcohol, use a hand sanitizer that has added moisturizers, like aloe.
And since the air on planes is so dry and uncomfortable, you might also want to bring along some saline nasal spray, which you can use to help keep both yours and your child’s nasal passages well moisturized.
It’s also important to stay hydrated by drinking lots of water — that goes for you and your child.
Finally, try to avoid sick people when possible. If you’re sitting next to someone who’s coughing and sniffling and the flight is not full, speak up and politely ask a flight attendant if you can move to different seats.
National Screen-Free Week: Turn Off to Tune In
Last updated on March 3rd, 2018 at 11:06 am
This week, April 30 – May 6, 2012, is National Screen-Free Week. This annual event is a program of the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood (CCFC) and is designed to encourage parents, children, teachers, schools and communities across the country to turn off all forms of screen-based media, including television, video games, computers, cell phones, etc., and instead spend time with family and friends and participating in other activities, such as reading, daydreaming, exploring nature, playing outside, and more.
Formerly known as TV-Turnoff Week, the CCFC has expanded it to include all screen-based media. It is the organization’s goal that Screen-Free Week will be a “springboard for important lifestyle changes that will improve well-being and quality of life all year round.”
The ever-increasing availability of technology and electronic devices has dramatically increased the amount of time kids (and adults) spend in front of a screen and has drastically reduced the time spent on non-media based activities. The CCFC estimates the amount of time preschoolers spend in front of a screen is 32 hours a week, and even more time is spent by older children and teens. The amount of time spent with screen-based media has reduced time spent outdoors, time spent with family and friends, time spent engaged in sports and other forms of fitness and has contributed to the childhood obesity problem. Too much screen time can also lead to poor school performance, sleep problems, and behavioral issues in some children and teens.
I’ve lost count of how many parents have talked with me about how their children’s behavior changes after playing video games or watching television, especially if those games or shows involved any violence or aggressiveness at all. I’ve seen firsthand how video games affected one of my nephews and would turn him from a sweet, caring boy to an aggressive, defiant child. After the problem continued to worsen, my sister made the drastic decision to no longer allow any video games. At first my nephew whined and begged to play, but as time went on he found other ways to occupy his time and entertain himself and his behavior at home and even at school greatly improved. At the age of 10, even he realizes the negative effect video games can have on him if he spends too much time with them. Of course, every child is different and not all are adversely affected by media and technology, but even if they are not, over-use and over-stimulation can still be a problem.
Screen-based media can also interfere with with kids’ ability for creative, imaginative play. Turning off the screens for a week can help them tune into their imaginations, especially if you encourage them to play with toys that promote creativity. Introduce your kids to some of your favorite childhood pastimes and participate with them. Instead of screen-based electronic games, play board games or go outside and play hide and seek, freeze tag, or a fun sport. Go for a bike ride or a walk around your local park. There are so many ways to spend time together and have fun without any technology at all, your family may even decide to turn off the screens more often!
Certainly technology has improved our ability to do many things, including educate our children, but we need to be aware of the harm that over-use can cause and use screen-time wisely. Taking a break from the abundance of screens in our world can be a healthy way to detox and reconnect with our family and friends face to face.
This week, consider participating in Screen-Free Week, turn off the screens and tune in to everything else around us.
For more information about Screen-Free Week, visit CommercialFreeChildhood.org.
Beware of Falling Furniture
Last updated on March 3rd, 2018 at 11:11 am
Be honest. Most of us do not consider the furniture in our homes or even the television to be dangerous to our children. The kids run and play and laugh and occasionally knock over a chair or bump into a desk or fall off the furniture but that seems to be the extent of our worry when it comes to furniture. Well according to a new study furniture related injuries are on the rise and if your kids are anything like mine, we have some work to do.
According to the study conducted by the U.S Consumer Product Safety Commission, most furniture tip-over-
related injuries occurred among children younger than 7 years of age and resulted from televisions tipping over. More than one quarter of the injuries occurred when children pulled over or climbed on furniture. Children ages 10-17 years were more likely to suffer injuries from desks, cabinets or bookshelves tipping over. Head and neck injuries were most common among younger children, while children older than 9 years were more likely to suffer injuries to the lower body.
Despite warnings from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, the number of injuries involving televisions and other furniture tipping over onto children has increased in this country since the early 1990s.
“There was a more than 40 percent increase in the number of injuries during the study period, and the injury rate also significantly increased during these years,” said study senior author Gary Smith, MD, DrPH, director of the Center for Injury Research and Policy at Nationwide Children’s Hospital. “This trend demonstrates the inadequacy of current prevention strategies and underscores the need for increased prevention efforts.”
So what can we as parents do? Parents can minimize risks to children by placing televisions low to the ground and near the back of their stands and strapping televisions and furniture to the wall with safety straps or L-brackets. Purchasing furniture with wide legs or with solid bases, installing drawer stops on chests of drawers and placing heavy items close to the floor on shelves will also help prevent tip-overs. Additionally, parents can reduce a child’s desire to climb furniture by not placing attractive items, such as toys or the remote control, high on top of furniture or the television.
Caregivers and even those of us in the emergency medicine field should be aware that furniture tip-overs are an important source of childhood injury and that education geared towards simple prevention steps will decrease the number of injuries to children associated with furniture tip-overs.”
Keifer Sutherland as a Special Needs Parent in Touch
Last updated on March 19th, 2017 at 12:24 am
Touch is a new series on the Fox Network starring Keifer Sutherland as the widower father of a special needs child. His eleven-year-old son doesn’t speak and doesn’t like to be touched, but he can see patterns in the world and in the ways people are meant to connect. The show focuses on seemingly random coincidences, which are not random but actually part of a complex Fibonacci pattern. Some of the coincidences are plausible, while others seem completely contrived. While I am not qualified to review the mathematical or spiritual concepts introduced in the show, I am qualified to report on how the show presents the issues faced by a special needs parent.
Keifer Sutherland shows us once again that he is an amazing actor, jumping between paternal devotion, grief, hopelessness, cynicism, determination and affection. Watch his face as he looks at some typical children in a school bus, then glances to his own distant son. He tells us so much about his character’s struggle in a scene with no dialogue. We hear through a child services caseworker how he has had to sacrifice his once-successful career and is now jumping from job to job. It’s no wonder he isn’t fired from his current job when the police and fire crews call him three days in a row to come and talk his son off a cell phone tower. His son has gone from school to school, doctor to doctor, and you can see the emotional and physical toll it is taking on his character, even though he has the financial means to provide for his son. He seems close to giving up, yet he still holds on to hope and finds the energy to act on that hope. He also still loves his child, longing to hug him yet respecting his son’s preferences and tirelessly trying to find ways to connect with him.
Fox showed a preview of the first episode but the show officially premieres on Thursday, March 15, 2012. It will be interesting to see how the series treats the characters in future episodes, and how Keifer Sutherland portrays the struggles his character will face.
Want a Child with Values & Self-Respect? Set Rules & Say No
Last updated on March 18th, 2017 at 09:55 pm
By the time they reach school age, a child is as skilled at debating as politicians on the campaign trail. But 
while their persistence can wear you down, giving in to their pleas will only encourage them to keep it up.
“If you’re looking [to raise a] respectful child with good self-esteem, then start saying no,” says Michelle Borba, educational psychologist and author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. “If you say no, and your child learns to accept it, your child learns to accept your values.” Borba also notes that research shows kids who are raised in less-permissive homes have higher feelings of self-respect and more confidence.
You have to start saying no now, though, because it only gets harder later, says Borba. Here are her top five steps for how to say no — and have your child really hear it.
1. Review your rules.
Every six months, take time to think through exactly what your expectations and values are: what you’re saying yes to, what you’re saying no to, what is non-negotiable and why you feel that way. Also consider what you want to teach your child with the rules you’re setting. Without the conviction of your beliefs — knowing what you won’t accept and why — you’ll be more likely to cave in when he starts pushing.
2. Make a formal announcement.
Once you’re sure what you will and won’t tolerate, call a family meeting and explain the rules. Be matter-of-fact and non-critical; laying out your expectations shouldn’t come off as punitive. And by explaining your reasons for each rule, you’re showing your kid that you’ve given this a lot of thought and you’re serious. “It’s a guideline for your values, a family mission statement,” says Borba.
3. Get on the same page.
Whether you live in the same home or not, try to reach an agreement with your parenting partner about which rules are non-negotiable. Then, put them somewhere where everyone can see them. “Even if there are only three rules, mark them in stone,” says Borba. “If you don’t have them written and posted on the fridge, your child will water you down.” The other benefit to hanging them up? “Whenever your child has a friend over, he can point to the fridge.”
4. Don’t engage.
When your child starts pestering despite the rules, say as little as possible in response. If you’ve told him that you don’t want a video game system in your home but he argues that everyone else has one, respond with, “That’s what they do in their house.” If you have a gaming system but have decided that your child is too young for teen-rated games, don’t hesitate when he says, “But I’ve played them at my friend’s house.” Say “Not in my house,” — and leave it at that. “Too much explanation continues the power struggle,” says Borba. “How you handle a wordy kid who wears you down is to stop talking yourself.”
5. Avoid confrontation.
If your child pesters for sweets at the store after you’ve told him no, don’t tolerate one minute of it. He’s been disrespectful by ignoring the rules, says Borba, and that demands action. Follow your conviction, even if it’s inconvenient for you. As soon as your child starts pestering, stop shopping and tell him you’re going home. Or give him a time-out in the car while you stand by. Will it be embarrassing for him? “Yes,” says Borba, “and thank goodness it is!” Sometimes, a little embarrassment makes the point better than any scolding could.
