How Important is Crawling for Baby Development?

Last updated on March 7th, 2018 at 07:49 pm

This post was sparked by a recent basement storeroom clear out with my now 14-year old son….but more on that later…

All new parents probably worry about their baby’s development. Will he develop normally? Will she hit the milestones on time? And there are a lot of milestones to keep track of, as shown on the US Centers for Disease Control (CDC) website – covering areas such as social/emotional development, communication and cognition/thinking. But the area our son seemed to have an issue with was in movement and physical development….he wouldn’t crawl.

According to developmental guidelines (for example CDC.gov and WebMD), by nine months your baby should be getting into a sitting position on his own, pulling to stand, and crawling to get around and explore his surroundings. Our son, Elliott, definitely did the first two, but he wouldn’t crawl. Instead he perfected the art of rolling. Everywhere. And very quickly!

By rolling I mean rolling onto his side and then his stomach, and then his other side, and his back….and the whole thing over and over again. And he was very good at it. Each time he set out on one of these rolling journeys, he could only go in one of two directions – whichever ways his sides were facing. So he quickly learned to get to all corners of the main floor of our house by rolling in one direction for a bit and then turning and changing direction – with just a bit of a shift in his orientation so that he wasn’t going back where he came from. In this way he whizzed about the house in a rolling zigzag pattern – pretty handily getting from point A to B.

At first this was really cute and quite a marvel. And given that he could move about quite well, we really didn’t have anything to be worried about, right? Well, it wasn’t entirely clear. Since this was more than 10 years ago – at the very early stages of internet search engines – we couldn’t easily access the huge range of information we can all get today. And some of the baby books and articles at the time suggested there could be issues with babies skipping crawling, including for hand-eye coordination and social development. Even today, a few articles on the web talk about issues with not crawling – like potential delays in building upper body strength – but the majority say crawling isn’t needed. One article even pointed out that crawling isn’t listed on the Denver Developmental Screening Test, widely used by pediatricians to assess normal infant development.

Just to be on the safe side, we tried a number of tactics to promote crawling, including little pushes on his bottom and demonstrating crawling techniques ourselves (that was a hoot!). We also took him regularly to Gymboree classes from an early age, so he saw lots of other babies crawling around – but nothing worked. Until one day someone (a class leader? another mom?) suggested trying one of the many collapsible fabric tunnels in the class. My mom was with me that day and she put Elliott in front of the entrance to the tunnel while I encouraged him forward from the other end. But nope….he just rolled away. After trial and error, we figured out that we had to place him a ways inside the tunnel so he couldn’t back out – and need to steady the tunnel on the sides so he couldn’t make the whole thing roll. So there he was…stuck in the middle…and was he ever MAD! He made all sorts of angry grunting and mewling sounds and eventually started crying. But he finally began to reach his arms out in front of him and began “army-style” crawling on his belly!! I was so ecstatic I bought a collapsible tunnel on the spot for more practice at home.

And so it worked. After more time in the tunnel, he learned how to crawl and began using this skill instead to go exploring around the house. But in the end, I don’t think it really mattered whether he rolled or crawled. Even before the “tunnel therapy” he was already on to later milestones like standing and taking steps while holding onto low furniture. And he never had any issues with upper body strength or fine motor skills, despite a very brief crawling stage.

The biggest problem came more than a decade later when I found the flattened fabric tunnel in that basement storeroom. I thought it was such a cute story that I shared it with now-teenage Elliott, who insisted on opening it up for a better look. But instead of thinking it was sweet, he got rather annoyed  and accused us of “torturing” his baby self! Moral of the story…whatever you do in the best interests of your child – save the stories until they have kids of their own and “get” how tough parenting decisions can be.

A Child’s Temperament Is Not Destiny: Parenting Matters

Last updated on June 22nd, 2016 at 11:03 am

There was a great article I read recently written by a pediatrician who described each child as “a different assignment.” No truer words have been spoken by someone who deals with children every day. Within the range of normal children’s development, there is a huge variation in kids’ temperaments, personalities, and sensitivities. Do you ever wonder how your little “assignment” will turn out as an adult? Do you worry that his/her difficult temperament must be a sign of hard times ahead?

Luckily research has examined some of these questions and the results fall on the side of parents.

A child’s temperament does matter, but parenting also matters a lot.

Researchers from Indiana University wanted to look at how babies with different temperaments (e.g., difficult, easy) ended up doing socially and academically by the time they reached first grade and what, if any, role parenting played in this process. Previously, some people had thought that a baby with a difficult temperament would have more difficulty adjusting to school later in life.

These researchers studied 1,364 children from birth to first grade, along with their parents. The children were given a temperamental classification (e.g., difficult, easy) at 6 months of age. Mothers’ parenting style was observed several times over the course of the study with areas such as warmth and age-appropriate control being examined. Lastly, children’s adjustment to first grade was considered in areas such as academic competence and social skills.

The findings were very enlightening: children who were labeled as having a difficult temperament as infants had as good as or better grades and social skills in first grade as children not labeled as difficult if their mothers provided good parenting. In other words, parenting matters! This is probably not a huge surprise to many people, but it’s interesting to see the research to back it up. Not surprisingly, children with difficult temperaments who received less-than-optimal parenting fared worse in first grade than other children.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the study is the fact that researchers believe that children with difficult temperaments are more sensitive to both positive and negative parenting.

That is, they were more likely (than children with non-difficult temperaments) to adjust poorly to first grade if they experienced negative parenting, but they were also more likely to perform well in first grade if they received excellent parenting. Although this is just one study, it makes a lot of sense. Children with difficult temperaments are thought to be extra sensitive to the external environment and find it harder to regulate themselves. Scientists are learning to understand the difference between babies with varying degrees of nervous system sensitivity.

Researchers believe this is one piece in understanding how some kids can experience extreme challenges such as parental loss or poverty and still thrive. Within a context of responsive caregiving, even temperamentally sensitive children can be resilient in the face of challenges, even perhaps more so than those with an “easy” temperament.

This research sends an optimistic message to parents. What you do really matters! Children with more sensitive temperament may strain your parenting muscles but the “payoff” is higher too. If your child has a difficult temperament, approaching him/her with sensitivity and warmth can make a huge difference.

Source: Stright, A. D., Gallagher, K. C., & Kelley, K. (2008). Infant temperament moderates relations between maternal parenting in early childhood and children’s adjustment in first grade. Child Development, 79, 186-200.

Take Care of Kids’ Teeth This Summer

Last updated on June 20th, 2016 at 11:51 am

Across the country, summer vacation is in full swing. Kids—and parents—are adopting new schedules the leisurely months of summer.

As you’re planning their next few months of relaxation, don’t forget their teeth. When your family hangs out at the pool, zoo or amusement park, you pack sunscreen. When they’re hungry—which is all the time, or at least it can feel that way—you feed them. When they’re thirsty, you make sure they have plenty of fluids. When they’ve gotten muddy or dirty from a day of playing outside, you make them take a shower. But one thing that’s often overlooked is their oral health. What’s going on with your kids’ teeth?

We look for signs to cue us in those other areas—we spot a sunburn or grubby feet, and we can hear reminders for meals and drinks and snacks. But we can’t see what’s happening with their teeth. And with summer’s fresh schedule and spontaneous outings, it can be easy to forget the normal routines that come with school nights and getting up and out the door for the bus.

Here are a few simple ways to help your kids take care of their teeth this summer:

• Remind them to brush. Bedtime and morning routines be more fluid in summer, if they exist at all, so do what you can to create other reminders. Set an alarm on your phone or write a note on the bathroom mirror in dry erase marker.
• Try to limit junk food. Just because they’re on the run or in the sun doesn’t mean you have to serve pop-tarts and popsicles. Keep healthy options on hand and save the sweets for occasional treats.
• Keep water close by. With all of the sunshine, warmth and added activity of summer, your family will need plenty to drink. Be sure you have bottles of water around to make hydration easy and to reduce the temptation to stop for a soda when you’re out and about. There are a variety of great reusable bottle options available to keep waste to a minimum.
• Pack extras. Have a few extra toothbrushes around in places other than the bathroom cabinet. Stash a few in the car, gym bag, pool bag or backpacks, so kids don’t have to remember to pack a toothbrush. Having extra toothbrushes to offer those visiting your house is helpful as well. It’s not just your kids who forget.
• Make it fun. When all else fails, you can turn on some goofy music and insist that everyone participates in a family toothbrushing party. It may seem corny, but it’s worth it since healthy mouths make healthy kids.

Take an Active Holiday to Benefit the Whole Family

Last updated on July 5th, 2016 at 05:50 pm

Kids and The Homework Procrastination Curse

Last updated on May 4th, 2016 at 11:11 am

We have been living the reality of adolescent procrastination for some time now….late school assignments, messy room, nagging over getting the lawn mowed – even personal hygiene issues (really…when was the last time you had a shower??). Procrastination can be a problem at any stage of life, but for a tween or teen it presents very significant challenges and risks for the child and family. It can create serious anxiety issues, affect self-identity and self-esteem, and set a child up for issues later in life.

Although our son, Elliott, has still been managing to get good grades at school despite his homework procrastination – the process he’s been going through is quite simply unhealthy.  The stress and anxiety associated with leaving work until the bitter end, freaking out and asking for help at late hours, and pulling all nighters to get assignments done – while still in Middle School??!! Come on! Something had to change.  During my company’s performance review process this is what we call not just focusing on the “what” (good grades) but also the “how” (killing you and your parents!).

As a result we decided to get school skills coaching help for our son. There are a lot of reasons why adolescents might procrastinate – anxiety, perfectionism, lack of confidence, attention disorder, beginning to assert their independence, or simply feeling overwhelmed – and getting support from professionals can help to identify underlying causes. But one thing at the root of most procrastination issues in kids is the fact that the last part of the brain to fully develop – the frontal lobe – is the very part responsible for good judgment and self regulation (namely, the ability to overcome impulses and make yourself do something that you maybe would rather not).  It is not just a skill that is learned over time –but is dependent on brain wiring that isn’t finished until the mid-twenties.

A development that seemed to make Elliott’s procrastination worse was a change last year in his middle school’s policy about late homework. Elliott, like many kids, is reasonably motivated to get good grades, which usually requires turning homework in on time. But now at his school kids get an automatic 50% if something is not handed in – and no penalty when late assignments are eventually submitted. The rationale given to parents was that the school doesn’t want kids who hit a rough patch to end up with such poor grades that they can’t dig themselves out of the hole. But instead, kids who are struggling with self-regulation don’t have a true deadline and end up feeling overwhelmed with an endless list of current and overdue assignments to complete. I can’t help but feel this policy was instituted more to protect the grading of teachers and schools than to help students – but no matter the reason, beware if your school goes down a similar path.

Despite a brain that is still under construction, kids can make the most of the brain power they do have with a few tips and techniques which we have learned through our journey. Below are a few of the things we have learned from our son’s coach – or through our own trial and error:

• Pick 2 or 3 small simple homework tasks to start on each evening – maybe even work these out on the bus home – starting with something simple can make the work less scary and get them into the groove
• Set priorities for evening homework and share with/get input from parents – even if for older kids that means texting parents at work (that’s what our coach suggested)
• Break assignments down into chunks – even write out a step-by-step list if needed
• Work alongside a family member or friend while they do their own work – known as “body doubling” this can create some support and accountability
• Use a timer to set goals for a duration of time to work
• Take short, active breaks – even if this needs to be frequent – brainstorm with your kids what kinds of breaks they can do
  • Our son takes short breaks to do push-ups, wash his face with a cold wash cloth, get a snack or shoot some hoops
• Don’t let them have electronics with them in their room if at all possible (other than a computer if needed for their work) – there are too many distractions online these days
• Provide some incentives for getting work done early – particularly on the weekend (e.g. having friends over when homework is out of the way)
• Help them be realistic about time to spend on an assignment – if your child is a perfectionist, you may need to help them limit the time spent rather than ask them how much time they need
• Also help them believe in themselves – when things go well, REALLY celebrate that – and use that to help them develop positive self-talk (e.g. go from “I just don’t have the drive or motivation that other kids have” to “hey I can do this – I just needed a way that worked for me”)

Also, below are a few good articles on the procrastination topic, which reinforce and build on the list above. Good luck!

• 5 Ways to Procrastinator-Proof Your Child
• How to Stop Procrastination in Your Kid
• Why Kids Procrastinate and How to Help

Talking to Your Child About Their Autism

Last updated on March 22nd, 2016 at 11:52 am

 

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