Help Your Kids Beat Summer Camp Homesickness

Last updated on August 19th, 2015 at 11:31 pm

Leaving home, even for a short while, can create a lot of anxiety for kids — not to mention their parents. But you can reduce your child’s fears by sending her off with two essential items: a sense of independence and a vote of confidence.

“Kids need opportunities to take care of themselves, and parents have gotten a lot worse at that over the years,” says Bob Ditter, a child and family therapist in Boston, Mass., who consults camps nationwide. A big part of separation anxiety is wondering, “How am I going to be successful?”

To boost your child’s confidence and minimize homesickness, Peg Smith, CEO of the American Camp Association, suggests these six steps:

1. Practice separations throughout the year.

Set up sleepovers at relatives’ and friends’ homes, and use those experiences to build confidence. When it’s time for camp or a trip with another family, remind your child that she’s spent the night away before. She’s already seen that you can go away and then come back.

2. Teach independence.

In addition to creating opportunities for independence, you need to call attention to the small steps your child takes. Tell her you liked the way she handled a conflict or how she approached the salesperson for help. She may not see those moves as accomplishments if you don’t acknowledge them.

3. Involve them in decision-making.

Giving your child choices will help her feel that she has some control over what happens to her while she’s away. Once you’ve set the parameters and made your own short list of camps, let her make the final call. Give her the ability to choose her own activities, and accept what she picks. “You have to be open-minded,” says Smith. “We are not our children, and they aren’t us. It’s part of learning how to make decisions.”

4. Minimize surprises.

Part of homesickness is being unfamiliar with your surroundings, so the more information your child has about logistics, the easier her transition will be. Explain how camp is laid out: where her cabin is located, how the bathroom is set up, how far away the dining hall is. Tell her where she’ll be sleeping in Grandma’s house, what the neighborhood is like and how close the playground is.

5. Avoid making an escape plan.

The minute you tell your child she doesn’t have to stay if she’s unhappy, you’ve prepared her to be unhappy. Instead, if your child calls you weeping and begging to come home, listen to her, but then move past the anxiety: “What did you do that was fun? Is there something you’re doing tomorrow that you’re looking forward to? If you’re still feeling this way next week, we can talk about it.”

6. Don’t wig out.

Severe homesickness is very rare, according to Smith, so the unhappiness you’re hearing probably doesn’t characterize your child’s entire experience. Keep reflecting your confidence that she’ll have a great time, and remind yourself of the goal: to help her learn new skills, build self-esteem, and gain confidence and independence

How to Relax the Rules for a Fun but Sane Summer

Last updated on May 17th, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Rules are made to be broken, but when it comes to summertime, many parents wonder: Which ones to break? You don’t want your home life to become a free-for-all for three months, but you also don’t want to create a police state that takes the “break” right out of summer break. So where do you redraw the lines?

“Rules are always based on need. You should rethink them based on the necessities of summer,” says educational psychologist Michelle Borba, author of The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. “Push the pause button and ask yourself, ‘What are the three rules we need to have during the summer?’ Don’t let it all go; just take a step backward and loosen one thing at a time.”

If you’re having a hard time letting go, Borba suggests asking yourself what memories you want to make this summer. The answer probably won’t be “no freedom” or “no fun.” Still, no matter what rules you loosen, you need to make sure you’re not so flexible that you end up creating more work and stress for yourself. After all, you need to know how to relax and have fun too!

Consider the following when rethinking the rules for the laziest days of the year. …

Remember what summer means

For kids, summer is a break from all the pressures and demands of school, activities and homework. It’s also a relief from the strict scheduling of the school year. Breakfast doesn’t have to be at 7 a.m., because there’s no 8 a.m. school bus to catch. So does it really matter if they stay up — and sleep in — an hour or two later than usual? Will your schedule allow for it? How much will it disturb your evening or morning routine?

One solution: Keep yourself sane by letting the kids stay up an extra hour, but limiting them to quiet activities in their rooms.

Consider the consequences

What will happen if you relax a given rule? For example, if you abandon the no-shoes-in-the-house rule, you’ll have a parade of flip-flops leaving trails of water, mud and grass clippings. If you let your kids watch TV before they clean up their toys, you’ll have to walk around the mess for the evening. What consequences can you live with, and which ones will drive you batty?

One solution: Choose one rule to enforce and let the other one go: So if kids still have to wear their shoes in the house, maybe let the tidy-up wait until after TV time.

View each situation separately

After making the rules, be flexible enough to break them on an as-needed basis. Weigh the benefits: If your kids are outside playing flashlight tag with the neighborhood kids, will they gain more by staying and playing or by leaving the game early to get to bed on time?

One solution: Tell kids they can stay out for an extra half-hour, but then they’ll have to come in even if the other kids don’t.

Put it on paper

Once you’ve thought of the must-have rules for summer, call a family meeting. State your expectations, but ask your kids for their input. “You can negotiate, but only let go of the rules that don’t make a difference,” says Borba. Then write down the new rules and put them up where everyone can see them. “Don’t make a big deal out of it,” says Borba. “Just make it clear.” Then, when the kids break a rule, you can just point to the paper and say nothing more.

Should We Follow Sleepaway Camp Advice on Meningitis Shots?

Last updated on August 30th, 2015 at 03:03 pm

Bacterial meningitis is an infection of the brain that could lead to serious complications, including permanent brain damage and even death. Each year, there are about 2,600 cases of this very contagious disease in the U.S., mostly in adolescents and infants. Camps usually suggest the vaccine because closed environments – like college dormitories or camp cabins – mean there’s a risk of a severe breakout.

There are two major vaccines available for prevention, and while they won’t stop 100 percent of cases, the benefits of vaccination far outweigh the known side effects, which can include headache, diarrhea and muscle pain. Experts recommend that all children receive the shot routinely starting at age 11. If your child has not previously been immunized against meningitis and he’s leaving for overnight camp, boarding school, college or another group living situation, I would recommend vaccinating against meningitis.

Talk it over with your pediatrician and decide what is right for you.

Summer Fun for Parents: Welcome to “Camp Chaos”

Last updated on June 1st, 2017 at 10:58 pm

Summertime is just around the corner….so close I know my son can taste it. He is visibly at-ease, excited, more joyful. He likes school….but he LOVES summer break: unstructured fun, no homework, a lack of routine. But what about working parents whose employers are totally unreasonable and won’t give them 10 or 11 weeks off in the summer? Or parents like me who simply quake at the thought of all those weeks of unstructured time and the inevitable results…”Mommm, I want to set up a lemonade/ smoothie/ popsicle/ ice-cream/ brownie stand on the corner. Will you go shopping/make everything/do set up and clean up?”; “Mommm, [insert friend here] is away on vacation, will you play soccer/climb a tree/have a water fight with me?”; “Mommm, I’m bored!” Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my son. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have made the scary decision to take some time off from work this year. But the length of summer break in the US seems to me the epitome of the phrase “too much of a good thing.”

Dealing with the Long Break

There are many ways that parents can address the summer break. The one that has worked for our family is summer day or overnight camps. While these can seem expensive, they may be more economical and offer more variety than summer-long childcare. And there are ways to economize, such as using dependent care spending accounts (essentially paying with pre-tax dollars), choosing part-time camps, or going with providers, like the YMCA, who offer income-based fees or discounts. The key is to look for camps with sufficient experienced staff that offer a variety of activities and events/trips that meet your children’s interests. But that is easier said than done. There are lots of providers offering lots of different camps at different times and in a variety of locations and formats. It takes significant advance research and parent networking to come up with a plan. Has anyone noticed how much effort, stress and confusion this process can create for parents?  Or am I alone here?

Welcome to Camp Chaos

I got the first taste of the summer camp gauntlet after he left daycare, when registration for our company-sponsored camp opened in February – and his school hadn’t yet finalized any plans for their camp program. How was I supposed to coordinate different camps when the programs operated on different registration schedules? And I couldn’t wait to register for the company camp since spaces were so limited. Then there was the challenge of coordinating summer camps with summer vacations – especially trips involving relatives who didn’t have to work out their summer plans while the ground was still frozen.

Once other camp programs began opening their registrations, I encountered my next hurdle: too much choice! So many providers….so many camp themes! Camp Invention or Rock Climbing? Hogwarts Express or Robots? Chess or Hip Hop Dancing? And don’t ask 7-8 year olds. They want to do them all…completely ignoring that some are held the same week. How do I get my arms around this chaos?

Bring out the Spreadsheet!

Yes, I admit it. I created a spreadsheet. Well, two actually. The first one outlines the different camp options/providers by week, putting the camps into priority order (based on extensive mother-son discussions) in case of full registrations or other issues. This approach (below) worked fairly well in the past but got more complicated this year when half-day camps became an option due to my being off work. I hate to say it, but I used the planner to spread half-day camps out across the summer and avoid too much “home-alone” time!

After the camps were booked (marked by blue on the planning spreadsheet!), I created sheet number two to ensure we showed up at the right location each week – and to deal with all the variations in start/end times and requirements for food, clothing and miscellaneous materials. I also included handy info like the phone number and deadlines for registration changes and final payments. A printout of this sheet lives on a cupboard in the kitchen and is a savior each Sunday evening (or often Monday morning!).

I’m sure there’s got to be a better way to coordinate this process, but I was reassured that I’m actually not alone when the local YMCA manager told me he sees parents with all sorts of camp-coordination approaches: from lists and notes to flow-charts.   BTW – for those of you who are new to this, here’s my list of “things to consider” that should help this process go a little easier.

• Since you usually can’t meet the staff when camp registration opens, check their brochure or website for information on the training staff receive and the ratio of counselors to children.  Some camps, like the YMCA, hold parent informational sessions just before the start of summer – this is a great way to get the feel for what you’ve signed up for, or see if you can attend as a preview for the following year.
• Check that CPR and first-aid certified staff will be onsite at all times.
• For outdoor camps, be sure you are satisfied with the rainy-day arrangements – both the facilities and activity plans.
• With all-day camps, even specialized theme camps like chess or music, check that there are a variety of activities planned – including time for the kids to move.  At younger ages, kids can’t focus on only on one activity all day.  This I know from experience!
• Start your search with places or groups you already know:  your community or child’s school may have camp programs, as often do local museums, zoos and cultural centers.  If your child does extracurricular sports or enrichment programs, these groups may also hold camps.  This can work well since you are familiar with the organizers and know that your child likes the activity

In the end, we all just want to give our children a safe and enriching summer experience with memories to last a life-time.

What about your experience? What has worked for you in navigating the summer break and camps?

Summer Homework Battles

Last updated on March 3rd, 2018 at 01:13 pm

Katie Marshall, a middle schooler from St. Louis has to read two books before school starts. That’s 350 pages in all, and each one is turning slowly, says her mother, Jan, with a sigh. “Great. She only has 330 more to go.” Last year, Katie ended up bagging the book and watching the movie version, Holes, the night before school began.

It’s the worst feeling: Summer’s almost over, and your child hasn’t cracked that first book open yet. Or gotten a grip on the poster project. Or started the report on Neil Armstrong. To keep you both from getting steamed over summer homework assignments, try a different approach from the one you use during the school year. Sara Lise Raff, creator of the blog “Ask The Educator” and a former K-8 teacher, tells you how:

Summer-ize the schedule Sit down with your child and choose two or three days per week for homework. Saturday and Sunday may work best for day campers, plus one other evening, Raff suggests. If your child wants to keep weekends free, opt for his least-scheduled days. Try to keep the days consistent so your child knows what’s coming up.

Play to his strength Match the weakest subject to the child’s best (and happiest) time of day. If he’s more energetic and thinks more clearly after a lazy breakfast and before the movie at the mall, hit the hardest subject during that time frame. Let him choose the times he wants to work on the other subjects.

Incorporate technology — to a point Access to a computer or laptop is a given by now. But talking or texting on the cell during homework time — especially to pals trying to lure him to the pool — won’t get the job done. Set the ground rules upfront: He can check the phone every 40 minutes or after he has finished — whichever comes first.

Loosen up on the setting Summer is about freedom. If a child has a laptop, let her take it to the backyard for writing assignments. Tweens can tote their laptops to a coffee bar and settle in with a muffin, provided a parent is nearby to stem forays into Facebook. “The cool factor can make a big difference to kids this age, who want to look social and hip,” adds Raff, herself a mother of three.

Bend the rules Impromptu trips to the lake and spur-of-the-moment barbecues are the special gifts of summer. When they get offered to your child during a scheduled homework time, be flexible once in a while. On the spot, decide together when he’s going to do the work, then tell him to go have fun. “Your flexibility will prove you’re willing to compromise, so perhaps next time there’s a battle brewing, he will too,” Raff remarks.

Keep her reading Some schools require students to read a certain number of books of their own choosing; others allow them to select titles from a list. In either case, your child should choose carefully, according to advice from the Center for Summer Learning at Johns Hopkins University. A child is more likely to complete a book about a passion or in a favorite genre than one selected randomly. Breaking the reading into small chunks also helps, says Raff. She recommends a minimum of 20 minutes every night — more if your child can handle it. Suggest reading in different parts of your home or outside and bring your own book or magazine along to keep her company. To entice a reluctant reader with new technology, consider buying a wireless book reader, like a Kindle, that the whole family can use. At $300 and up, “it’s expensive,” says Raff. “But it’s worth the investment if it encourages a child to read.”

Summer Days

Last updated on June 21st, 2018 at 06:25 pm

So far between Memorial Day and the 4th of July, over 70 children have already drowned and there have been another 80 near drownings. Since this heatwave began just a few days ago, over 9 people have died from heat-related events. Being outside in 100-degree weather causes adults to lose a quart of water each hour. Water loss in children is proportional. Very young children are more susceptible. And the effects of the heat- may be fatal in as little as a day.

Temperatures on the asphalt are typically ten degrees more than surrounding grass. And autos- even with windows ‘cracked’ may reach temperatures in excess of 130 degrees in just a few minutes. This is never a safe place for kids or pets-not even for a few seconds-NEVER. Don’t do it. It’s also difficult to know the right thing to do when it comes to kids sports activities such as little league and youth soccer. When is it too hot? When should a game be called on account of heat?

You rarely if ever hear of a little league game being called due to heat but at least once a year there is a headline about a child who dies playing in the incredible heat. And we wonder why, why did they play? No kid wants to be the wimp and no parent wants to be the only one- the only holdout who hears, ‘but Mom all the other kids still get to go.’ Here are some tips to help keep your child safe this summer.

Pool Safety-What can you do?

• Never let kids swim alone- keep a close eye- look for problems. If you can’t keep a dedicated eye- postpone your child’s swim even if you must endure some whining.
• Make sure all pools are fenced and gated. Invest in floating alarms.
• Keep flotation devices poolside.
• If your pool is not deep- is not designed for diving- tell kids it’s not allowed- mean it.
• Learn CPR

This Heat- What can you do.

• Keep water handy. Drink up before you feel thirsty- stay ahead of dehydration. Alcoholic and caffeinated beverages are not as good as water and sports drinks.
• Keep kids cool especially infants they simply have the same temperature regulation capability that we do.
• Same with seniors- the most dangerous place for many seniors is in their home. Either they have no AC or won’t use it due to limited funds. Take them to a senior center, mall or cooling station.
• If you must go outside for any time- WEAR SUNSCREEN.
• If a person in this heat stops sweating get help immediately- this may be heat stroke- a serious medical emergency.
• Learn CPR

Sports Activities- What can you do?

• Speak up- voice your concerns- talk to other parents and coaches.
• Have these discussions with league authorities prior to the first game being played. There are similar understandings and rules for when there is lightning in the area. Make it a rule.
• Get a doctor involved. Perhaps one of the parents is a doctor and can help set realistic guidelines.
• Remember too that this is not a safe environment for grandparents, siblings, and others with heart and other health problems.
• If it comes down to it- when all else fails, even if you are the only one- keep your child back if you feel its too damn hot.

« Previous Page — Next Page »