Mirror, Mirror on the Wall – The Kid I See Is Not Me At All
Last updated on July 15th, 2018 at 07:36 pm
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others.
Symptoms of BDD
You might have BDD if you:
- worry a lot about a specific area of your body (particularly your face)
- spend a lot of time comparing your looks with other people’s
- look at yourself in mirrors a lot or avoid mirrors altogether
- go to a lot of effort to conceal flaws – for example, by spending a long time combing your hair, applying make-up or choosing clothes
- pick at your skin to make it “smooth”
BDD can seriously affect your daily life, including your work, social life and relationships. BDD can also lead to depression, self-harm and even thoughts of suicide.
Getting help for BDD
You should visit your GP (*doctor) if you think you might have BDD.
They will probably ask a number of questions about your symptoms and how they affect your life. They may also ask if you have had any thoughts about harming yourself.
Your GP may refer you to a mental health specialist for further assessment and treatment, or you may be treated through your GP.
It can be very difficult to seek help for BDD, but it’s important to remember that you have nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. Seeking help is important because your symptoms probably won’t go away without treatment and may get worse.
Treatments for BDD
The symptoms of BDD can get better with treatment.
- if you have relatively mild symptoms of BDD you should be referred for a type of talking therapy called cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which you have either on your own or in a group
- if you have moderate symptoms of BDD you should be offered either CBT or a type of antidepressant medication called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI)
- if you have more severe symptoms of BDD, or other treatments don’t work, you should be offered CBT together with an SSRI
1. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
CBT can help you manage your BDD symptoms by changing the way you think and behave. It helps you learn what triggers your symptoms, and teaches you different ways of thinking about and dealing with your habits. You and your therapist will agree on goals for the therapy and work together to try to reach them.
CBT for treating BDD will usually include a technique known as exposure and response prevention (ERP). This involves gradually facing situations that would normally make you think obsessively about your appearance and feel anxious. Your therapist will help you to find other ways of dealing with your feelings in these situations so that, over time, you become able to deal with them without feeling self-conscious or afraid.
You may also be given some self-help information to read at home and your CBT might involve group work, depending on your symptoms.
CBT for children and young people will usually also involve their family members or carers.
2. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs)
SSRIs are a type of antidepressant. There are a number of different SSRIs, but the one most commonly used to treat BDD is called fluoxetine.
It may take up to 12 weeks for SSRIs to have an effect on your BDD symptoms. If they work for you, you will probably be asked to keep taking them for several months to improve your symptoms further and stop them coming back.
There are some common side effects of taking SSRIs, but these will often pass within a few weeks. Your doctor will keep a close eye on you over the first few weeks. It’s important to tell them if you’re feeling particularly anxious or emotional, or are having thoughts of harming yourself.
If you are no longer having any symptoms, you will probably be taken off SSRIs. This will be done by slowly reducing your dose over time to help make sure your symptoms don’t come back (relapse) and to avoid any side effects of coming off the drug (withdrawal symptoms), such as anxiety.
Adults younger than 30 will need to be carefully monitored when taking SSRIs as they may have a higher chance of developing suicidal thoughts or trying to hurt themselves in the early stages of treatment.
Children and young people may be offered an SSRI if they are having severe symptoms of BDD. Medication should only be suggested after they have seen a psychiatrist and been offered therapy.
3. Further treatment
If treatment with both CBT and an SSRI has not improved your BDD symptoms after 12 weeks, you may be prescribed a different type of SSRI or another antidepressant called clomipramine.
If you don’t see any improvements in your symptoms, you may be referred to a mental health clinic or hospital that specialises in BDD, such as the National OCD/BDD Service in London**.
These services will probably do a more in-depth assessment of your BDD. They may offer you more CBT or a different kind of therapy, as well as a different kind of antidepressant.
Causes of BDD
We don’t know exactly what causes BDD, but it might be associated with:
- genetics – you may be more likely to develop BDD if you have a relative with BDD, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) or depression
- a chemical imbalance in the brain
- a traumatic experience in the past – you may be more likely to develop BDD if you were teased, bullied or abused when you were a child
Some people with BDD also have another mental health condition, such as OCD, generalised anxiety disorder or an eating disorder.
Things you can try yourself
1. Support groups for BDD
Some people may find it helpful to contact or join a support group for information, advice and practical tips on coping with BDD.
You can ask your doctor if there are any groups in your area, and the BDD Foundation** has a (UK based) directory of local and online BDD support groups**.
You may also find the following (UK based)** organisations to be useful sources of information and advice:
2. Mental wellbeing
Practising mindfulness exercises may help you if you’re feeling low or anxious.
Some people also find it helpful to get together with friends or family, or to try doing something new to improve their mental wellbeing.
It may also be helpful to try some relaxation and breathing exercises to relieve stress and anxiety.
Editor’s Note:
* Clarification Provided for our U.S. Readers
** Resources Outside the UK:
- IOCDF – Non-Profit Foundation- provides information and support for individuals with OCD and BDD – link is specific to teens and young adults
- Local US Resources for Body Dismorphic Disorder – list of top 1000 cities
- Anxiety and Depression Association of America – online support groups for BDD
From www.nhs.uk
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Can I Get Pregnant Right After My Period? Teens Need to Know
Last updated on May 27th, 2018 at 09:08 pm
Yes, although it is not very likely. If you have sex without using contraception, you can conceive (get pregnant) at any time during your menstrual cycle, even during, or just after, your period.
You can also get pregnant if you have never had a period before, during your first period, or after the first time you have sex.
There is no “safe” time of the month, when you can have sex without contraception and not risk becoming pregnant. However, there are times in your menstrual cycle when you are at your most fertile, and this is when you are most likely to conceive.
Understanding your menstrual cycle
Your menstrual cycle begins on the first day of your period and continues up to the first day of your next period. You are most fertile at the time of ovulation, (when an egg is released from your ovaries) which usually occurs 12-14 days before your next period starts. This is the time of the month when you are most likely to get pregnant.
It is unlikely that you will get pregnant just after your period, although it can happen. It is important to remember that sperm can sometimes survive in the body for up to seven days after you have sex. This means that it may be possible to get pregnant soon after your period finishes if you ovulate early, especially if you have a naturally short menstrual cycle.
You should always use contraception when you have sex, if you do not want to become pregnant.
Further information:
- Can I get pregnant if I have sex without penetration?
- Contraception
- Periods
- Emergency contraception
- Natural family planning
- Pregnancy and baby guide
- Ready Steady Baby
From www.nhs.uk
The Instability of the “Dreamers'” Future Hurts All Children
Last updated on May 27th, 2018 at 09:09 pm
If you follow the news at all, I’m sure you’ve heard about the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program. To summarize it, it is a program that has kept around 690,000 young, illegal immigrants from being deported. It was put into place by the Obama administration in 2012 after numerous attempts by Congress to come up with a permanent solution for “Dreamers” failed. The DACA provides children who were brought into the United States illegally, as minors, the ability to work and go to school without fear of deportation.
Many of these children grow up without having any idea of what their legal status is or what being illegal means. Now, they are facing a very uncertain future, especially those who plan to go to college. However, what I really want to address here is why the debate over what to do with Dreamers matters to us as guardians of young people.
When we choose to take responsibility for a child or teenager, even to the smallest degree, we are choosing to also have a direct impact on the future of our society. Culture affects young people differently than it does adults. As adults, we have, in many cases, been given the resources and experiences to learn which aspects of our culture we agree with and which we do not. We then build up a worldview that we protect and that protects our sense of self.
Children do not have this yet. They are still sorting through their understanding of the world and learning their emotions. It is up to us to guide them along that path. This brings me back to the debate over the DACA. Social environments have distinct impacts on child and adolescent development. Children must be able to have faith in the structures of authority that surround them. These structures are supposed to provide them with the safe space they need to develop as human beings. When these structures show themselves as unstable it has far reaching psychological effects not just for the children directly involved, but also for the rest of the population.
Uncertainty and fear can cripple the human mind, especially the tender developing mind of a child or teenager that is particularly vulnerable to stress. Many of these children who are now facing an uncertain future want to pursue higher education. Putting their futures in jeopardy hurts them as individuals and through their struggles their friends and their friends friends will lose faith in a system that is already on shaky ground. The ripple effect of this kind of uncertainty is sure to have lasting repercussions past what we can see.
As these uncertainties become more apparent, it falls on us as caretakers, to work even harder than we do already to provide a stable and healthy environment for our children and the children around us to grow in. We must listen to their needs and support them, as individuals, and as a whole as we strive towards a better future for all.
Children Learn What They Live
by Dorothy Law Nolte
If children live with criticism,
They learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility,
They learn to fight.
If children live with ridicule,
They learn to be shy.
If children live with shame,
They learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement,
They learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance,
They learn to be patient.
If children live with praise,
They learn to appreciate.
If children live with acceptance,
They learn to love.
If children live with approval,
They learn to like themselves.
If children live with honesty,
They learn truthfulness.
If children live with security,
They learn to have faith in themselves and others.
If children live with friendliness,
They learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
(Copyright © 1972/1975 by Dorothy Law Nolte)
15 Things Teens Should Know About Sex: Q&A
Last updated on May 27th, 2018 at 09:10 pm
There are so many stories around sex, it’s hard to know what to believe. Find out the facts – it’s the best way to make sure you have safer sex.
- Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?
- Can you get pregnant if a boy withdraws (pulls out) before he comes?
- Can you get pregnant if you have sex during your period?
- Can you get pregnant if you have sex standing up?
- Can you get pregnant from oral sex?
- Does alcohol make you better in bed?
- Can you use clingfilm as a condom?
- Will a boy’s balls explode if he doesn’t have sex?
- Can you wash condoms and use them again?
- Can you get pregnant if you have sex only once?
- Do you always get symptoms if you have an STI?
- Can women who have sex with women get STIs?
- Do all gay men have anal sex?
- Does starting her periods mean a girl is ready to have sex?
- Can I get help and information on sex if I need it?
1: Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex?
Yes, pregnancy is possible even if it is the first time a girl has had sex. The truth is, if a boy and a girl have sex and don’t use contraception, she can get pregnant, whether it’s her first time or she has had sex lots of times.
A boy can get a girl pregnant the first time he has sex with her. If you’re female and have sex, you can get pregnant as soon as you start ovulating (releasing eggs). This happens before you have your first period. Read more about periods and the menstrual cycle.
Using contraception protects against pregnancy. Using condoms as well also protects against sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Before you have sex, talk to your partner about contraception, and make sure you’ve got some. Find out about getting contraception and tips on using condoms.
2: Can you get pregnant if a boy withdraws (pulls out) before he comes?
Yes, you can. There’s a myth that a girl can’t get pregnant if a boy withdraws his penis before he ejaculates (comes). The truth is, pulling out the penis won’t stop a girl from getting pregnant.
Before a boy ejaculates, there’s sperm in the pre-ejaculatory fluid (pre-come), which leaks out when he gets excited. It only takes one sperm to get a girl pregnant. Pre-come can contain STIs, so withdrawing the penis won’t prevent you from getting an infection.
If a boy says he’ll take care to withdraw before he ejaculates, don’t believe him. Nobody can stop themselves from leaking sperm before they come. Always use a condom to protect yourself against STIs, and also use other contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancy.
3: Can you get pregnant if you have sex during your period?
Yes, a girl can get pregnant during her period. The truth is, she can get pregnant at any time of the month if she has sex without contraception.
Sperm can survive for several days after sex, so even if you do it during your period, sperm can stay in the body long enough to get you pregnant.
4: Can you get pregnant if you have sex standing up?
Yes, a girl can become pregnant in any position that she has sex. It is a myth that a girl can’t get pregnant if she has sex standing up, sitting down, or if she jumps up and down afterwards. The truth is, there’s no such thing as a “safe” position if you’re having sex without a condom or another form of contraception.
There are also no “safe” places to have sex, including the bath or shower. Pregnancy can happen whatever position you do it in, and wherever you do it. All that’s needed is for a sperm to meet an egg.
5: Can you get pregnant from oral sex?
No, you can’t get pregnant following oral sex. The truth is, a girl can’t get pregnant this way, even if she swallows sperm. But you can catch STIs through oral sex, including gonorrhoea, chlamydia and herpes. It’s safer to use a condom on a penis if you have oral sex.
6: Does alcohol make you better in bed?
No, alcohol does not make you better in bed. The truth is, when you’re drunk it’s hard to make smart decisions. Alcohol can make you take risks, such as having sex before you’re ready, or having sex with someone you don’t like. Drinking won’t make the experience better. You’re more likely to regret having sex if you do it when you’re drunk. Find out more about sex and alcohol.
7: Can you use clingfilm as a condom?
No, you cannot use clingfilm, or a plastic bag or a crisp packet instead of a condom. Only a condom can protect against STIs.
You can get condoms free from:
- community contraceptive clinics
- sexual health and genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics
- some young persons services
You can also buy them from pharmacies and shops. Make sure they have the CE mark or BSI kite mark on them, as this means they’ve been tested to high safety standards. Find (UK) sexual health services near you**, including contraception clinics.
8: Will a boy’s balls explode if he doesn’t have sex?
No, this is not true. Not having sex doesn’t harm boys or girls, and a boy’s balls will not explode.
Boys and men produce sperm all the time. If they don’t ejaculate, the sperm is absorbed into their body. Ejaculation can happen if they masturbate or have a wet dream. They don’t have to have sex. Find out about boys’ bodies.
9: Can you wash condoms and use them again?
No, condoms should only be used once. Don’t believe anyone who says that you can wash condoms and use them again. If you’ve used a condom, throw it away and use a new one if you have sex again.
This is true for male condoms and female condoms. Condoms need to be changed after 30 minutes of sex because friction can weaken the condom, making it more likely to break or fail. Get tips on using condoms.
10: Can you get pregnant if you have sex only once?
Yes, it is possible to get pregnant even if you only have sex once. You may have heard the myth that you have to have sex lots of times to get pregnant. The truth is, all it takes is for one sperm to meet an egg. To avoid pregnancy, always use contraception, and use a condom to protect against STIs.
11: Do you always get symptoms if you have an STI?
No, you might not know if you have an STI due to signs such as it hurting when you pee, or noticing a discharge, unusual smell or soreness.
Many people don’t notice signs of infection, so you won’t always know if you’re infected. You can’t tell by looking at someone whether they’ve got an STI. If you’re worried that you’ve caught an STI, visit your GP (*physician) or local sexual health clinic. Check-ups and tests for STIs are free and confidential, including for under-16s. Find sexual health services near you**.
12: Can women who have sex with women get STIs?
Yes, women who sleep with women can get or pass on STIs. If a woman has an STI, the infection can be passed on through vaginal fluid (including fluid on shared sex toys), blood or close bodily contact.
Always use a new condom on shared sex toys. If a woman is also having sex with a man, using contraception and condoms will help to prevent STIs and unintended pregnancy.
13: Do all gay men have anal sex?
No, this isn’t true. Anal sex, like any sexual activity, is a matter of preference. Some people choose to do it as part of their sex life and some don’t, whether they’re gay, straight, lesbian or bisexual.
According to the Third National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (published in 2013), 18.5% of men and 17% of women in the 16-24 age group had had anal sex in the previous year. Whatever kind of sex you have, use a condom to protect yourself and your partner against STIs. However, having sex isn’t the only way to show your feelings for someone.
14: Does starting her periods mean a girl is ready to have sex?
No, this isn’t true. Starting your periods means that you’re growing up, and that you could get pregnant if you were to have sex. It doesn’t mean that you’re ready to have sex, or that you should be sexually active.
People feel ready to have sex at different times. It’s a personal decision. Most young people in England wait until they’re 16 or older before they start having sex. Find out more about periods and the menstrual cycle.
15: Can I get help and information on sex if I need it?
If you want to talk to someone in confidence, you can call the national sexual health helpline on 0300 123 7123*.
Find U.K. sexual health services near you**.
To find your nearest young people’s service, visit the Ask Brook website.
Find out where to get help when sex goes wrong.
Condom, no condom? is an interactive video on YouTube where you decide what happens. Just choose which button to click at the end of each section to continue the story, and see the consequences of your choices.
Editor’s Note:
* Clarification Provided for our U.S. Readers
** Resources Outside the UK:
From www.nhs.uk
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Binge Eating Disorder: Warning Signs & How to Get Your Teen Help
Last updated on May 27th, 2018 at 09:13 pm
Binge eating disorder involves regularly eating large portions of food all at once until you feel uncomfortably full, and then often upset or guilty.
Symptoms of binge eating disorder
The main symptom of binge eating disorder is eating very large amounts of food in a short time, often in an out-of-control way. But symptoms may also include:
- eating very fast during a binge
- eating until you feel uncomfortably full
- eating when you’re not hungry
- eating alone or secretly
- feeling depressed, guilty, ashamed or disgusted after binge eating
People who regularly eat in this way may have binge eating disorder.
Warning signs of binge eating disorder in someone else
The following warning signs could indicate that someone you care about has an eating disorder:
- eating a lot of food, very fast
- trying to hide how much they are eating
- storing up supplies of food
- putting on weight – though this doesn’t happen to everyone with binge eating disorder
Getting help for binge eating disorder
If you think you may have binge eating disorder, see your GP (*physician) as soon as you can.
They will ask you questions about your eating habits and how you’re feeling, and will check your weight and overall health.
If they think you may have binge eating disorder, or another eating disorder, your GP should refer you to an eating disorder specialist or team of specialists.
It can be very hard to admit you have a problem and to ask for help. It may make things easier if you bring a friend or loved one with you to your appointment.
You can also talk in confidence to an adviser from eating disorders charity Beat (in the UK**) by calling its adult helpline on 0808 801 0677 or youth helpline on 0808 801 0711.
Getting help for someone else
If you’re concerned that a family member or friend may have binge eating disorder, let them know you’re worried about them and encourage them to see their GP. You could offer to go along with them.
Read more about talking to your child about eating disorders and supporting someone with an eating disorder.
Treatment for binge eating
With the right treatment and support, most people recover from binge eating disorder, but it may take time.
The main treatments for binge eating are:
- guided self-help programmes – involves working through a book about binge eating and having sessions with a therapist to support you
- a type of talking therapy called cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – in group sessions or individual (one-on-one) sessions
Binge eating disorder often causes weight gain (though not always), which can lead to other health problems.
You shouldn’t try to diet while you are having treatment as it can make your binge eating worse.
Read more about treating binge eating disorder.
Causes of binge eating
We don’t know exactly what causes binge eating disorder and other eating disorders. You may be more likely to get an eating disorder if:
- you or a member of your family has a history of eating disorders, depression, or alcohol or drug addiction
- you have been criticised for your eating habits, body shape or weight
- you are overly concerned with being slim, particularly if you also feel pressure from society or your job – for example, ballet dancers, jockeys, models or athletes
- you have anxiety, low self-esteem, an obsessive personality or are a perfectionist
- you have been sexually abused
Editor’s Note:
* Clarification Provided for our U.S. Readers
** Resources Outside the UK:
- U.S.: National Eating Disorder Hotline (NEDA)
- Canada: Eating Disorder Hope – links to websites and helplines for youths and adults
From www.nhs.uk
Video: Teens and Tattoos: How to Make Sure Your Teen is Safe
Last updated on April 25th, 2018 at 10:10 am
Niall McManus, tattoo artist, discusses things to consider before getting a tattoo and how to do so safely.
Editor’s Note: Video Highlights
Things to know before getting a tattoo:
Do your research
- Check out your artist’s website to see their style.
- Make sure it’s what you want.
- Go to the shop
- Make sure you’re comfortable the person tattooing you
- Make sure it’s a reputable shop
- Every shop and every artist must have a license.
- They must be displayed on site
Make certain your artist is taking the required safety precautions.
- Wearing gloves during the whole process.
- Unwrapping his equipment from the sterilization packages in front of you.
- Not all artists will do this automatically, but feel free to ask your artist to do so.
Your artist will wrap the finished tattoo in plastic wrap after cleaning it.
- This should be kept on for two hours.
Tattoos take two (2) weeks to heal.
- Wash it with warm running water regularly.
- Do not soak it in water.
- It is a wound. It will scab. This is normal. Let the scab fall off on its own.
- Don’t scratch it.
- If it itches, pat it, don’t scratch it.
- If you accidentally scratch it, sometimes it can require a touch up.
- Keep it moisturized
- If you have any questions about the healing process ask your artist.
Editor’s note: Tattoos are becoming further accepted in society. As they become more popular, more teenagers are getting them. It is important for them (and you) to know how to do it safely if you decide it is something to pursue.
** Resources outside the U.K.:
- For more information check out the American Academy of Pediatric’s recommendations.
From www.nhs.uk
