How to Avoid Taking Your Stress Out On Your Kids
Last updated on March 3rd, 2018 at 11:40 am
As mothers, we are constantly trying to juggle responsibilities. With these responsibilities comes stress, a lot of stress. Add children, and before we know it, we are taking our stress out on them. In fact, we might find ourselves treating friends and coworkers better than our own children and families.
We don’t want to dump our stress on our children. We don’t need to tell them all our woes. They can’t fix 
it, they don’t understand it, and at their age they don’t need to be stressed and worried about grown up problems.
We do need to take a few minutes to figure out what is causing our stress. Are we tired, overwhelmed, money trouble, marriage stress or work stress? Maybe we have just had a long day juggling the laundry, cleaning, playing Candy Land, and chauffeuring kids. After a little introspection we need to realize that stress is going to happen and we should do all we can to avoid taking it out on our children.
So.. What can we do?
Don’t Multitask – Focus on our Children When we have a lot to do, and a lot on our minds, it is easy to think that multitasking is the answer. As women we seem to take pride in our multitasking abilities. When we are trying to make dinner, help kids with homework, fold laundry, AND listen to our 5 year old talk about their day, everything else will be more important than what happened at recess. We take our frustrations and stress out on our children because they are making it hard for us to get EVERYTHING ELSE done. The laundry can wait, and so can dinner. Sit down with your child. Give them your undivided attention and focus on their words and their facial expressions. Not only will it bring you closer, but we won’t see them as a stress, we will see them as the children we love more than anything. Remember LOVE is spelled T-I-M-E.
Establish a Routine We need to put our families and children on a routine. With a routine, we will know what to expect and so will our children. This will eliminate a lot of stress that comes from the unknown and from struggles with bed time and mealtime. Our children will be better behaved when things are predictable. This mean less stress triggers for us as mothers.
Have Realistic Expectations We don’t have to be super women. And, we SHOULD NOT COMPARE OURSELVES TO OTHER MOMS. We need to be realistic about what we can tackle and undertake. When we start comparing we tend to see everyone else’s strengths and our weaknesses. It is never a fair comparison. We should surround ourselves with people and things that are supportive and uplifting. Not things that make us feel inadequate.
Put Ourselves in our Children’s Shoes As mothers, we need to take a minute to see things from our children’s perspectives. Have empathy. Realize they don’t mean to upset us. They are young, learning, and inquisitive. They don’t know rush, hurry, or quick. If we can take just a second and see things from their eyes, we will not be so quick to take our frustrations out on them.
See our Children as People When we are stressed, it is easy to see our children as objects. Objects that are keeping us from what we are trying to do. We are trying to make dinner, or answer the phone, or fold the laundry and their need for help or attention is getting in the way. We need to see them as people. Little people. They have thoughts and hopes and dreams and good days and bad days just like us. It is the laundry that is actually getting in the way of us being with our kids, Right?
Play Together as a Family We have to find time to recreate and relax together as a family. Life needs to be filled with work and play. When families play together they grow closer, develop stronger relationships, and have more patience for one another. Plus it is a needed diversion from the stress we deal with each day. Find time at least once a week to do something fun together (this doesn’t mean it has to cost money).
Have a Sense of Humor Laugh. When you are ready to loose your temper with your children because you are stressed, laugh first. Even if you have to force yourself. You will find it fixes a lot of things.
Minimize Minimize the stuff in our homes. When we have more than we can maintain, even if it is just too many clothes, everything becomes overwhelming and stressful. We will quickly take our stress out on our children. Work to make the spaces in our lives manageable. Give away, throw out, and get rid of. The clutter in our homes and cars becomes overwhelming and makes the other stresses seem even worse.
Don’t Over Schedule We shouldn’t over schedule our children or ourselves. To many things on our family plates will always bring stress. Our kids don’t need to be involved in a million extra curricular activities, and we don’t have to say yes to every play date and activity. We need to PROTECT our family’s time. This protection will bring peace and time together. Plus there will be less rushing. Rushing compounds stress.
Manage our Time Cliche, I know, but vital. Time management is so important to our lives. We do need to stay organized and manage our responsibilities and the time it takes to get things done.
Plan Ahead This goes right along with managing our time. Being prepared and planning ahead will help eliminate a lot of our family stress. Make lunches for school the night before, lay out clothes the night before, even set the breakfast table before you go to bed each night. Round up backpacks and school work, shoes and socks before everyone goes to sleep. Make reasonable preparations to eliminate having to rush. Rushing brings stress, especially with children.
Find Time For Yourself As mother’s we are always taking care of other people. We forget to take care of ourselves. We should pick one or two things we would like to learn or get better at, hobbies or interest, and find time for them. Along with this, we need to eat right, exercise, even if it is just a walk around the block, and get enough sleep. When we are hungry and tired we loose our temper and take our frustrations out on our kids.
Stress is part of life. Taking it out on our kids doesn’t have to be.
How to Rush-Proof Your Family’s Morning Routine
Last updated on October 5th, 2015 at 11:11 pm
What are mornings like at your house? If you’re like most moms, it’s probably the busiest part of your day. After all, you’ve got to get yourself and your kids out of bed, dressed, fed and out the door with all the necessary stuff in time for school, work and other activities. And this time of year, if your schedule is shifting weekly due to different summer camps or activities, it can make the morning routine even more of a challenge.
The beginning of the day tends to be chaotic and stressful for a bunch of reasons, says Dr. Mary Alvord, a psychologist in private practice in Rockville and Silver Spring, Md., and a mother of three. “Chances are you’ve got at least one or two people in the family, if not everyone, getting ready. There’s a lot that needs to get done in a relatively short period of time, and you’re on a deadline,” she says. “Plus, young children especially don’t do well when they’re being rushed.”
Organizing expert Stacey Crew, a mother of two, says that “how the morning goes really sets the tone for the whole day, so you really want to make things calm and run like clockwork.”
With some key planning and organizational strategies, it is possible to turn the morning mayhem into a peaceful and manageable routine. Here’s how Alvord, Crew and other busy moms make it happen:
1. Plan the week during the weekend
Crew recommends using Saturday and Sunday to get ready for the coming week. Plan and shop for meals, get the laundry done and decide what the kids will wear to school every day (if they’re not old enough to pick out their own outfits).
“Once Monday morning rolls around, you’ve got enough on your plate without having to worry about what you’re making for dinner or whether your kids have clean clothes for school,” says Crew.
2. Prep the night before
The more you can do before going to bed the night before, the better. Make and pack lunches, lay out clothes for you and the kids, set out the breakfast dishes, and make sure bags are packed and waiting beside the door. If getting dressed in the morning is always a battle between you and your (non-morning-person) child, you could even try having her wear her comfy school clothes to bed. “It’s no biggie for my 6-year-old, because she usually wears leggings and a jersey to school, and they’re like PJ’s anyway,” says Bay Brown, a mother of three in Brooklyn, N.Y.
Also, make sure that you and your kids turn in on time so you get enough sleep, suggests Alvord. “It’s easier and less stressful to get everything done in the morning when you’re well-rested,” she says.
3. Get yourself ready first
Plan to get up at least a half hour earlier than your children so you can be showered and dressed before they get up. Slipping away for “me time” after the kids are awake is virtually impossible in most households, unless you stick your kids in front of a TV, which then makes getting them out of the house even harder. Another option: Shower the night before to save time in the morning.
4. Set up a family communication center
Hunting around for a school permission slip five minutes before you’re supposed to leave is a surefire way to ramp up the morning stress level. That’s why Crew, author of The Organized Mom, recommends carving out a space (not the cluttered kitchen counter) where you can keep the family calendar, school forms and other papers that need to be acted on in the near future. And plan to get those permission slips signed and back in the schoolbags the night before.
5. Involve kids in the morning routine
“Young children thrive on structure and knowing what the next step is,” says Alvord. So have them help you create a schedule for the mornings, like this:
6:15 a.m.: Wake up
6:30 a.m.: Get dressed
6:45 a.m.: Eat breakfast
7:15 a.m.: Brush teeth
7:30 a.m.: Put on shoes and coat
If your child is a big dawdler, try using timers for tasks like getting dressed and brushing teeth.
6. Make morning tasks fun
Keeping things light and playful is often the key to getting results from young kids. If your child is competitive, turn getting dressed into a game of who can do it the fastest. Come up with a silly song set to a familiar tune like “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” (e.g., “Put, Put, Put on Your Shoes”) to encourage your child to move from one task to another.
7. Bend the rules for kids who are not feeling well
A child who’s not feeling great (but not necessarily sick enough to stay home) often has an especially hard time getting out the door in the morning, so it’s best to make the routine as easy as possible. Skip the usual morning chores and tasks, and let your child rest on the couch until it’s time to go.
8. Schedule time for breakfast and play
“Breakfast doesn’t have to be large or take a long time, but kids should sit down while they eat,” says Alvord. “Eating while seated at a table and allowing time to eat at a leisurely pace promotes good eating habits.” (If your child has a cold, don’t forget to serve extra fluids.)
Finally, try to work in 15 minutes of quiet playtime right before your child needs to leave the house. It can serve as a reward for being ready on time. Best of all, it helps keep the morning routine calm and peaceful. “If I’m rushing my kids at the last minute, they’re much slower and resistant,” says Kim Walker, a mother of two in San Francisco.
9 Simple Tricks to Avoid the “Sick-Kid Meltdown”
Last updated on March 9th, 2018 at 12:36 am
Keeping your child healthy is probably the most important job you have as a parent. But as every mom knows, it often requires asking your little one to do some of her least favorite things, like getting a shot or swallowing a spoonful of medicine. And that can make your life, well, challenging. But you can cut down on those tears and temper-tantrums with a few clever parenting moves. These expert-approved stay-happy tricks will keep your sick kids smiling during even the most difficult situations.
Meltdown trigger: Going to the doctor’s office
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Give your child advance notice. “Resist the urge to wait until the last minute to tell your child about a doctor’s visit,” says Bette J. Freedson, a licensed independent clinical social worker and parenting expert in Lynn, Mass. “Letting her know on the way to an appointment can create a sense of panic.” Instead, give your child at least a day to process the information and ask questions.
- Read her a story. “Books are a terrific way to ease your child into a new or uncomfortable situation,” says Freedson. “They’re more likely to discuss how their favorite characters handle going to the pediatrician than talk about their own upcoming visit.” Try reading The Berenstain Bears Go to the Doctor or Biscuit Visits the Doctor. Or, make up your own bedtime story, says Freedson. “That way, you can write the script for the lesson you want to teach.”
- Have a role-playing session. A few days before the appointment, give your child an old white shirt to wear as a doctor’s coat and ask him to give you a “checkup.” Then, reverse roles, with you as the physician. “Rehearsing the scenario is a gentle way of allowing him to play out his fears,” says Freedson. “It’s also an ideal time to teach him that it’s OK to be a little scared.”
Meltdown trigger: Getting a shot
- Numb the area. Bring an ice pack — or ask the pediatrician for one — and place it just above the injection site right before she administers the shot. “Cold can help overwhelm the pain,” says Dr. Amy Baxter, a pain researcher in Atlanta and mother of three. One product to consider: Buzzy ($35; Buzzy4Shots.com), a bee-shaped vibrating ice pack.
- Give her a mini-massage. No ice on hand? In a pinch, use your own fingers to move your child’s skin on their arm above the injection pre-shot. “That wiggling sensation confuses the nerve, which cuts down on the amount of pain your kid feels,” says Baxter.
- Provide a distraction. Give your child an age-appropriate task that he can easily master to divert his attention. “Don’t give him a task that’s too hard, like specific math facts,” says Baxter. “That can add pressure to an already stressful setting.” Instead, ask him to name two things in the examination room that are yellow, or have him point out four objects that are circles.
Meltdown trigger: Taking medicine
- Make it fun. Instead of telling your little one that it’s time for medicine, pull out his favorite novelty spoon and ask him who he’d like a visit from — Bob the Builder or Buzz Lightyear? Another kid-friendly tool: Ava the Elephant ($10; AvaTheElephant.com). In a modern spin on the “here comes the airplane” trick, Ava dispenses the medicine through her trunk. Measure the proper dose first and then help her take her medicine, adding your own elephant trumpet noise to make your child laugh.
- Chase with a treat. When your child is particularly stubborn about taking her medications, a fun bonus may help the medicine go down. Heather McCarron, a mom of three in Jackson, N.J., gives her daughters a liquid medication and promises that she’ll refill the empty medicine cup with a favorite healthy drink, like chocolate milk or fruit juice. While you never want to make medicine seem like candy, McCarron still finds “that small incentive makes my girls feel like they’re getting something special.” You could also reward them with a favorite activity, like a game or extra playtime.
- Mask the taste. To make the medication more appealing, mix it with a sweet food like applesauce, yogurt or a fruit smoothie. You can also ask your pharmacist about FlavorX ($2 per prescription; FlavorX.com), a product that’s added to medication to make it taste like one of eight kid-friendly flavors, such as bubblegum or grape. Just make sure you use a child-safe bottle and store it in a safe place, so your kid won’t reach for it like candy.
Moms and Dads: Why Stress Can Be Good For You
Last updated on March 3rd, 2018 at 12:17 pm
Stress has become a way of life in our 24-7 world — and with the holidays at our heels, it might seem like you’ll never get to relax again. Fortunately, there’s some good news: “Contrary to the widespread notion that 
stress is necessarily bad, short-term stressors enhance immune function and help the immune system respond more rapidly and effectively,” says Firdaus Dhabhar, a physician and the director of research at the Stanford Center on Stress and Health.
When you’re stressed, your body produces a hormone called cortisol, which triggers a fight-or-flight response by revving up your heart rate, blood pressure and blood sugar. When the stress lessens, your system returns to normal. Things get risky when stress becomes chronic — the kind of anxiety that never seems to go away. This can trigger inflammation and increase your risk of heart disease, obesity and depression.
Still, small doses of stress can actually improve your health. Check out these three surprising ways that small doses of stress can be good for you.
Surprise Benefit No. 1: Clearer thinking
The burst of nerves that you feel before you give a toast at a wedding or a presentation at the office has a silver lining: It could actually improve your memory.
In one study, researchers trained rats to complete a maze and then made half of them swim (to stress them out). When the rats were made to complete the maze again, “The animals that were forced to swim performed significantly better in the second maze test, suggesting that their working memory had improved,” says study author Eunice Y. Yuen, an assistant research professor at the State University of New York at Buffalo. “Cortisol enhances the transmission of certain chemicals in the prefrontal cortex, a key area in the brain that controls memory and executive function.”
Surprise Benefit No. 2: A stronger immune system
Feeling frazzled might bolster your immune system so that you’ll be primed to combat a cold or recover after an accident. To demonstrate exactly what happens to the immune system during a short period of stress, Dhabhar followed 57 patients undergoing knee surgery. “The body’s ‘soldiers’ (immune cells) leave their barracks and enter the blood stream. This mobilization of the body’s ‘army’ results in an increase in immune-cell numbers in the blood, sending the immune cells to potential ‘battle stations’ (skin and lymph nodes),” he explains. “Patients who experienced this immune cell redistribution induced by the acute, positive stress of the surgery showed enhanced recovery.”
In another study, Dhabhar and his colleagues subjected mice to stress for two and a half hours and discovered that the rodents activated more leukocytes — white blood cells that help the body fight infection and disease — than mice that were not stressed. In fact, just one session of acute stress increased certain types of leukocytes by 200 to 300 percent.
Surprise Benefit No. 3: Resilience
Experiencing (and conquering) stressful situations may give you the ability to thrive when challenges — from pesky traffic jams to company-wide layoffs — pop up. That’s what Salvatore R. Maddi, a psychology and social behavior professor at the University of California, Irvine, discovered through decades of research.
“Hardiness is the pattern of attitudes and skills that helps you transform stresses from potential disasters into growth opportunities,” he explains. In a landmark study in the 1970s and 1980s, Maddi followed executives who faced losing their jobs at a telephone company. “Those who addressed stress openly were the ones who not only survived, but also thrived. The managers who showed a pattern of denying and avoiding anxiety fell apart into mental and physical disorders,” says Maddi.
How to Maintain a Healthy Stress Level
So how can you determine whether the pressure you feel is boosting your health or undermining it? According to the American Psychological Association, red flags include frequent headaches, changes in sleeping and eating patterns, irritability, anxiety, and neck or back pain. Talk to your doctor if you’re experiencing the above, and try these four strategies to keep stress in check all season long:
- Soothe yourself with scents. Buy scented candles, bath bubbles and shampoo. One study in the International Journal of Aromatherapy found that inhaling the scent of lavender for 10 minutes triggered an increase in blood flow and a decrease in systolic blood pressure — which translates to feelings of calmness and relaxation.
- Plan ahead. “Anticipate the stresses of the holidays before they actually happen, and make a plan for solving the problems,” says Maddi. If last-minute gifts always drive you nuts, get an early jump on online shopping. If cooking dinner is too much after long days at work, stock your freezer with casseroles.
- Spend time with your dog or cat. In one study in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine, people who had pets had lower heart rates and blood pressure levels. They also responded less to stress than those who didn’t have pets and recovered more quickly from stressful incidents when their fluffy friend was present.
- Take a time-out. Take just five minutes a day to practice deep breathing or meditation. In one study from the University of California, Irvine, people who practiced meditation for 30 years showed a 40 to 50 percent lower response rate to stress than those who never tried it.
Pediatric nebulizers help the littlest patients relax
Last updated on March 3rd, 2018 at 01:09 pm
Modern Oxygen offers pediatric compressor nebulizer systems in fun designs like fire trucks, panda bears and building blocks that appeal to children and help reduce the anxiety of treatments. The building block model also helps keep the child sitting still and entertained for the duration of the treatment. Priced at $75 and eligible for insurance reimbursement, these machines can help manage your child’s condition in a fun way. There is even a pacifier model for the youngest patients. Modern Oxygen offers free delivery in the Los Angeles area and ships nationwide. You can reach Modern Oxygen at 818-344-3434 or 888-77-OXYGEN (776-9943).
Moms: How to Control Your Fears Before They Control You
Last updated on March 3rd, 2018 at 01:24 pm
It’s part of a mom’s job to watch over her children’s health and wellness. And when kids don’t feel well, we nurture them back to health as best we can.
But have you ever heard your child cough 
once and wondered if it’s something serious? Sometimes a small concern can quickly escalate into feelings of real fear. If this sounds familiar, there are steps you can take to avoid making yourself sick with worry — for your sake and your child’s.
“Children are very sensitive to mom’s mood,” says Betsy Cetnarowski, a certified child life specialist at Akron Children’s Hospital in Ohio. “So when mom is anxious, it can make kids anxious as well.”
Check out these strategies for managing fears that come with being the No. 1 caretaker for your child’s health.
- Make a list. If you notice your nerves getting out of control, you may be dwelling on one negative detail and disqualifying the positive signs of health or recovery. Write down five positive things about your child’s health — for example, he has a good appetite, his fever is going down, he’s energetic or he’s sleeping better. If you feel yourself heading down that road of negativity, just look at your list for some reassurance,” says Howsam.
