Camping with Kids: Tips for Maintaining Safety and Sanity

Last updated on September 12th, 2015 at 10:30 pm

This summer I decided I wanted to recreate my childhood camping experiences for my 10-year old son, Elliott. We had “camped” before – but only for a couple of days and never far from home…nothing like the weeks at a lake in the wilds of northern Canada I had known in my youth. So in late July, after stocking up on essential camping gear, we headed several hours north to Traverse Bay, Michigan for a week-long camping experience. It was a great trip, but even at my “mature” age I can still learn to appreciate my parents in a whole new way!

Our camping adventure was fairly authentic: sleeping in a tent, cooking on a propane stove, hauling water from the pump, and making s’mores over the fire pit. I admit we did cheat a little from what I remember as a kid. We had air mattresses that were indispensable, and electricity in the campsite meant the smartphones could be regularly charged and the kettle quickly ready for morning coffee and tea. Nevertheless it was a fair bit of work to get food made, dishes (and campers) cleaned, dirt tamed, and garbage out of the reach of critters. And I discovered that a 10-year old boy either doesn’t want to help at all (hiding in the tent playing on his DS) or only wants to do things involving sharp objects or fire.

So it turns out that keeping kids occupied, but safe, while camping is a challenge. Here’s what I learned from our nature adventure (sometimes through trial and error):

• Trade help with a “boring” job for the chance to do an interesting one:
  • “…If you go fill the water container you can help me cook dinner on the propane camp stove.”
  • “Help me hang the towels on the line and then you can set up the camp fire.”
• Show them how before turning them loose:
  • “…The propane stove works differently than our stove at home. Look, here’s a trick I figured out.”
• But if they can prove competence and responsibility, give them some freedom:
  • “…You’ve done really well setting up and lighting the fire the past 2 nights. You’ve definitely learned a lot in Cub Scouts. Tonight you can do it all on your own.”

Note: Be sure to think ahead about campfire safety tips and talk them over with your kids. Even if you have a firepit at home there are differences when camping. For example, the campsite firepit was bigger than the one we have at home and the metal sheath got hot despite an inner layer of concrete – bad for skin and soles of shoes! Camping also generates a lot of different types of garbage, most of which shouldn’t be burned due to potential release of toxins. Make sure the kids know not to put anything other than wood or paper in the fire.

• Trade-off activities you like or want them to engage in with some that really appeal to kids:
  • “…Ok, if the 2-hour kayak trip wasn’t your idea of excitement, I guess we can go play a round of mini golf.” (at least that will boost their mood prior to evening dinner chores!)
• Find creative ways to mix healthy foods in with vacation and camp fare:
  • “…Tonight you can have hot dogs and s’mores, but I also made a salad from the farmers market we stopped at.  And while we’re getting things ready have some of these great Michigan cherries!”

And if you’re worried about your child’s digestion while on vacation, you can use convenient Culturelle® Kids Probiotic supplements. They come in both chewable and packet forms and are highly recommended by pediatricians for support of healthy digestion and natural immune defenses. My son tried the chewable tablets and thought they tasted like a berry juice box – so you won’t need to worry about flavor complaints.

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Disclaimer: I am participating in a sponsored campaign hosted by Culturelle® Kids. I received compensation for this post and was provided with Culturelle® Kids Probiotic supplement samples. While all opinions provided are my own, I make no claims about the effectiveness or any other aspects of Culturelle® Kids Chewables or Culturelle® Kids Packets products.

8 Ways to Help a Shy Child

Last updated on January 31st, 2018 at 05:26 pm

Being a shy child isn’t easy – and for many parents, neither is raising one. You want your child to be happy and make friends, and when you see her hang back, your tendency is to push her into social situations. But pushing won’t give her the skills to control her shyness, according to Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph.D., director of The Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast.

“Adults think that being outgoing should be naturally occurring, but this is not something you grow out of,” says Dr. Carducci, who has also written The Shyness Breakthrough: A Stress-Free Plan to Help Your Shy Child Warm Up, Open Up, and Join the Fun.

Here are Dr. Carducci’s tips for teaching your child to overcome insecurity and succeed in social situations.

1. Love your child for who she is, not who you want her to be.

A child who undergoes social pressure doesn’t need the added stress of feeling like a disappointment. “You don’t want her to think that because she’s a little different you don’t like her,” says Dr. Carducci.

2. Show up early and give your child a chance to warm up.

Be one of the first ones at the party so your child can acclimate slowly as guests arrive. Allow her to just sit back and observe – even if it’s uncomfortable for you. While you’re waiting, prepare her for action by helping her think of ways to approach the other kids.

3. Help build your child’s confidence one step at a time.

Invite a school friend over to your home – a comfortable environment. Next time, take them to the park or invite a third child over. The key is to build on your child’s success by introducing new social elements one by one.

4. Remind your child of past strategies and successes.

Before your child enters a social situation, look for similarities to situations he’s faced before. Remind him how he handled things that time, and show him how this upcoming encounter is not an entirely new situation.

5. Use family time to discuss and practice social skills at home.

Over dinner, talk about what your child can expect from a certain social experience in advance. Do play-date post-mortems to remind your child of her strengths and problem-solving techniques. Be sure to include her in conversation and save adult-only discussions for later.

6. Give your child a diversity of social experience.

Bring him to different public places – the supermarket, library, post office – where he can engage with other people. Have him hand over the cash or the library card. Ask him to give the mail to the postal worker instead of dropping it in the box.

7. Be involved in the lives of others where sharing occurs.

Join a volunteer project and bring your shy child with you. That way she can see people with common goals and values working together. Help out an elderly neighbor together so your child participates in acts of kindness.

8. Be social too.

“Let your child see you be outgoing – talking to people, inviting people over,” says Dr. Carducci. Just like reading in front of children helps them become readers, socializing in front of a shy child helps her overcome her insecurities and learn the social skills she needs.

Halloween 2011: Tips From the Experts to Keep Kids Safe

Last updated on February 26th, 2017 at 11:05 pm

It’s that time again…

What is your little one going to be for Halloween this year?? A ghost, a gorilla…maybe even Gaga (…Lady Gaga that is)??? Well whatever he or she chooses to be this year, one thing we want them ALL to be is SAFE! With that in mind we’ve gathered up the best Halloween tips and tricks that we could find from the most reliable safety sources we know.

Full credit…and our thanks go out to them.

1. DRESSING FOR THE OCCASION: (AAP)

• Plan costumes that are bright and reflective. Make sure that shoes fit well and that costumes are short enough to prevent tripping, entanglement or contact with flame.
• Consider adding reflective tape or striping to costumes and Trick-or-Treat bags for greater visibility.
• Because masks can limit or block eyesight, consider non-toxic makeup and decorative hats as safer alternatives. Hats should fit properly to prevent them from sliding over eyes.
• When shopping for costumes, wigs and accessories look for and purchase those with a label clearly indicating they are flame resistant.
• If a sword, cane, or stick is a part of your child’s costume, make sure it is not sharp or too long.
• Do not use decorative contact lenses without an eye examination and a prescription from an eye care professional. They can cause pain, inflammation, and serious eye disorders and infections, which may lead to permanent vision loss.

2. OUT TRICK-OR-TREATING: (AAP and SafeKids)

• A parent or responsible adult should always accompany young children on their neighborhood rounds.
• If your older children are going alone, plan and review the route that is acceptable to you. Agree on a specific time when they should return home.
• Obtain flashlights with fresh batteries for all children and their escorts.
• Only go to homes with a porch light on and never enter a home or car for a treat.
• Because pedestrian injuries are the most common injuries to children on Halloween, remind Trick-or Treaters:
  • Stay in a group and communicate where they will be going.
  • Carry a cell phone for quick communication.
  • Remain on well-lit streets and always use the sidewalk. Never cut across yards or use alleys.
  • Only cross the street as a group in established crosswalks. Never cross between parked cars or out driveways.
  • If no sidewalk is available, walk at the far edge of the roadway facing traffic.
  • Don’t assume the right of way. Motorists may have trouble seeing Trick-or-Treaters. Just because one car stops, doesn’t mean others will!
• If you’re out driving:
  • Slow down and be especially alert in residential neighborhoods. Children are excited on Halloween and may move in unpredictable ways.
  • Anticipate heavy pedestrian traffic and turn your headlights on earlier in the day so you can spot children from greater distances.
  • Remember that costumes can limit children’s visibility and they may not be able to see your vehicle.

3. FOR THOSE WHO CAN EAT CANDY…: (AAP and AAPD)

• A good meal prior to parties and trick-or-treating will discourage youngsters from filling up on Halloween treats.
• Wait until children are home to sort and check treats. Though tampering is rare, a responsible adult should closely examine all treats and throw away any spoiled, unwrapped or suspicious items.
• Remind kids to brush before (and after) eating candy: Tooth decay and cavities occur when sugar reacts to bacteria and dental plaque. Brushing before candy consumption reduces the amount of bacteria and plaque on the teeth.
• Watch out for hard candy: Don’t just monitor the amount of sugar a child consumes, but also how long they keep sweet treats in their mouths. Kids should eat the candy right away, limit chewy candies that stick to teeth, as well as hard candies, which will be slowly eaten.
• Monitor overall candy consumption: There are two recommended options.
  • Keep candy consumption limited to a few pieces a day given with a meal or a snack.
  • Alternatively, have the child eat whatever the amount the adult decides at one setting, and then have them brush their teeth afterwards and give or donate the remaining candy.

4. …AND FOR THOSE WITH FOOD ALLERGIES WHO NEED TO BE CAUTIOUS: (KFAF)

• Plan an alternate activity, such as going to the movies, hosting a slumber party, or having a scavenger hunt around the neighborhood for safe treats or other items.
• When trick-or-treating, carry your child’s emergency medicines.
• Let the kids dress up and run house to house, while you carry a safe snack in case they want one. Bring wipes to clean the little hands first!
• Give neighbors safe Halloween treats in advance to hand out to your food allergic child.
• Prepare a container filled with safe treats in advance, and then swap it for the treats collected.
• Try a variation of the Tooth Fairy: Sort through unsafe candy, then leave it in a safe spot for a “Sugar Sprite” or “Candy Fairy” who exchanges it for a small gift, toy, or money. [
• Trade unsafe candy for allergen-safe treats or age-appropriate non-food items once your children return home. Non-food ideas include coloring books, storybooks, pencils, stickers, stuffed animals, toys, cash and play dough.
• If permissible, donate leftover candy to children who may not be able to go out and trick or treat.
• Check all ingredients. Remember that treat-size candy may have different ingredients or may be made on different machinery than the same regular-size candy.

5. FINALLY, MAKE SURE TO STAY IN TOUCH (AT&T)

• Make sure wireless phones are fully charged.
• Pre-program contact information of parents, neighbors and emergency services into your and your child’s speed dial, and be sure they know how to access these numbers with ease.
• Establish boundaries – Families should have in place a familiarized route for children to follow while out on the town. Consider a small tracking device that can easily slip into your child’s candy bag like the Garmin GTU 10 and follow them via PC or mobile phone.
• Set up periodic alarms with Halloween-themed tones as a reminder for trick-or-treaters to text or call home between candy collecting stops.

Wishing you and your family a safe, happy and healthy Halloween!!

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Resources:

1. American Academy of Pediatrics:  Halloween Safety Tips
2. American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry: AAPD Offers Halloween Tooth To-Dos For A Fun and Healthy Holiday
3. Kids with Food Allergies Foundation:  Take the Tricks Out of Treats
4. Safe Kids  Halloween: A Night for Treats, Not Tragedies
5. AT&T: Halloween Safety Tips for Parents
   

7 Steps to a Toxin Free Home

Last updated on March 12th, 2018 at 10:10 am

Your home should be a safe place, free of toxins and environmental hazards — but is yours really safe for your family? Because children’s bodies are still developing, they’re especially susceptible to toxins, which could be lurking in your house. Fortunately, you can take these seven easy steps to reduce the risks that lie under your own roof. Here’s how:

1. Clean smarter and more often.

“The greatest exposure to toxins children face may be from household dust,” says Timonie Hood, the Green Building Coordinator at the United States Environmental Protection Agency. Kids get dust on their hands from crawling on the floor or touching the top of the coffee table, exposing themselves to dust mites, mold and pet dander, all of which can trigger allergies and asthma attacks. How can you avoid the risk? “Get a vacuum with a HEPA (high-efficiency particulate air) filter and use it twice a week,” says Hood. “You should also dust every few days with a slightly damp cloth so you’re not just returning dust to the air.” To further reduce the risks of dust, get rid of some of the items in your home that trap it, such as unnecessary drapes, carpeting, throw pillows and stuffed animals.

2. Get rid of cigarettes.

“Stop smoking, even if you only smoke outside,” says Dr. Dennis Woo, a physician and assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at the David Geffen School of Medicine at the University of California, Los Angeles. “Kids in households with any level of smoking have been shown to suffer higher rates of respiratory disease.” When you smoke, toxins like particulates and nicotine get on your clothes and hands, and when you come inside the house, so do the toxins. Likewise, don’t let others smoke in or around your home or car.

3. Take off your shoes when you come inside.

Since your shoes have daily contact with all kinds of toxins (pesticides, lead, mold and more), leave them at the door when you step inside the house. Otherwise, those chemicals will transfer to your floors, where kids are likely to come into contact with them.

4. Switch to natural cleaners.

Commercial cleaners may make cleaning easier, but they could also contain toxic chemicals like carcinogens, respiratory irritants and even pesticides. Instead, try nontoxic, natural cleaners: For example, a mixture of baking soda and vinegar can clean tubs and toilets. Salt is good for scrubbing kitchen sinks, and borax (available at supermarkets) works wonders for laundry.

5. Stop using pesticides.

According to the Children’s Health Environmental Coalition, kids who live in households that use pesticides are over six times more likely to have childhood leukemia. But you don’t need to spray to keep household pests away. Banish bugs naturally by repairing window screens, keeping trash in closed containers and sprinkling environmentally friendly boric acid (available at hardware stores) in gaps between walls and floors before you seal them. And don’t use pesticides on your lawn, either: They not only present risks to kids playing outside but will also inevitably be tracked inside.

6. Get rid of toxic houseplants.

The leading cause of poisoning in children is houseplants, according to the University of Utah Health Sciences Center, so make sure all of yours are nontoxic, and get rid of any that aren’t — including oleander, hyacinth and daffodils, to name a few. Find a list of poisonous plants by searching online.

7. Stay safe around lead paint.

If your home was built before 1978, chances are it contains lead paint. By this time, it’s probably been covered with layers of lead-free paint and isn’t much of a health risk as long as it’s not peeling or chipping. But sanding or scraping any walls that were once covered with lead paint can release toxic lead dust throughout your home, which could damage kids’ brain and nervous system. So before you start your project, call a professional and get your paint tested. If it does contain lead, contact a lead abatement specialist or EPA-certified lead professional to help you deal with it.

Raising “Onlies” – Parenting Tips for Only Children

Last updated on May 30th, 2017 at 10:07 pm

What research says on how “onlies” turn out and parenting tips for raising the fastest growing kid breed.

Your Trivial Pursuit question of the day: “What do these famous folks all have in common?”

Cary Grant. Elton John. Chelsea Clinton. Alan Greenspan. Gerald Ford. John the Baptist. Laura Bush. Hans Christian Anderson. Lance Armstrong. Pierce Brosnan. Carol Burnett. Walter Cronkite. Leonardo da Vinci. Mahatma Gandhi. Rudi Giuliani. Robert de Niro. Eleanor Roosevelt. Franklin Roosevelt. Barbra Streisand. John Updike. John Lennon. Joe Montana. Charles Lindberg. Issac Newton. Cole Porter. Elvis Presley. Frank Sinatra. Gregory Peck. Ringo Starr. Condi Rice. Alicia Keys. Jean Paul Sartre. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

If you haven’t guessed, they’re all only children and they’re also a growing breed.

There are currently 20 million single-kid families in the US. The percentage of American women having only one child has more than doubled in 20 years to almost one quarter. (Time).

I was asked to share the latest research findings about only kids on the TODAY show as well as well as special tips to raise singletons. Here are a few tips from my TODAY show segment.

Why the New Down-Sizing Family Trend

The single-kid family is the fastest-growing family trend in the U.S. and most of Western Europe – for a number of reasons including these top three:

Recession and economic crunch. The recession has altered women’s child-bearing desires and for good reason. The average child in the U.S. costs parents about $286,050– before college. Sixty-four percent of women polled said that with the present economic crunch they couldn’t afford to have a baby now; 44 percent plan to reduce or delay childbearing.

Single motherhood increasing. A record 4 in 10 (41%) births were to unmarried women in 2008 which is up 28% since 1990. Single moms is a fast growing breed and many are choosing to adopt and remain single.

Delaying motherhood (marrying later, education, career). The percentage of women giving birth for first time at age 35 or older has increased eight-fold since 1970; among women 40 to 44, the birth rate grew 1 percent to 9.5 births per 1000 women – one of the highest rates ever.

Projections show that the number of only children in the U.S. will keep growing and the new trend is the “down-sized” family.

The Benefits of Raising Only Children

As with every birth order, there are unique pluses and minuses. Here are the top benefits of raising an only child according to the research:

• Finances and resources: We can give our “onlies” more financial advantages because we don’t have to share our bank accounts amongst other siblings. The benefits of extra financial resources for tutoring and experiences seem to make a big difference in how only kids turn out.
• Greater parental attention and energy: An only child does have a huge advantage in the self-esteem and confidence department because they have all their parents’ attention and energy and don’t have to divvy up their parent’s love with sibs.
• Higher academic attainment: Singletons have an edge when it comes to achievement, standardized tests, SATs and intelligence. A 20-year study found only children have higher education levels, higher test scores, better vocabularies, and higher levels of achievement. The chief reason: we give “onlies” our undivided attention and talk more one-on-one so their vocabularies increase – which is an IQ booster. The drawback on this is that we can put too high of expectations on our “one and only” child. Make sure you don’t expect this lone offspring to “complete” you just because she is your one and only.
• Closer parent-relationship: No guarantees but for the most part only kids grow up to be happy with closer parent-relationships. (Interestingly enough, anxiety about being the sole caretaker for aging parents is a top only child concern).

The Origin of Those Negative Only Kid Stereotypes

Spoiled. Arrogant. Bossy. Selfish. Maladjusted. Lonely. Bratty. Those are just a few terms often used to describe only children. But where did they come from? Are only kids really doomed?

Turns out all those negative stereotypes about only kids were based on research conducted over 120 years ago by one psychologist, Granville Stanley Hall. Though the 1896 study, “Of Peculiar and Exceptional Children,” proved to be poorly designed (and would be thrown out of psych text books today), it somehow perpetuated a myth that only kids are oddballs and permanent misfits.

The latest studies refute those negative stereotypes of “onlies” and give a far more accurate as well as positive view that should give parents big sighs of relief.

A study of over 20,000 kindergarteners found that teachers rated students with at least one sibling as better able to form and maintain friendships and get along. But those same researchers just released Part II of that study and found that when only kids become adolescents the “lonely” edge decreases. In fact, there was no difference in the social skills of onlies vs. kids with siblings if their parents provided social opportunities.

Parenting Tips to Raise an Adjusted, Happy Only

Every child needs a boost in some area regardless of family size so singletons are no different than other kids. The key parent question is to ask what your child may be missing because of his or her unique growing up experiences, and then find “fill in” the void with the right opportunities. Here are the top three “issues” and solutions:

1. Dethrone your only

Because they are the one and only, they do stand the risk of acting a bit “entitled” which is a huge peer turn off. So beware that you don’t put your kid on center stage or give him the impression that the world revolves around him (even though in your eyes I’m sure he does).

2. Provide social skill opportunities

Find those social outlets for your child to be with other kids so she can learn those essential friendship-making traits: play dates, playgroups, a babysitting cooperative, scouting, church groups, family gatherings with cousins, holidays with friends, neighborhood kids, T-ball, summer camps, Boys and Girls Clubs, and sleepovers are just a few of many options to be on the alert for.

3. Help your child learn to solve conflicts

“Onlies” might have trouble solving conflicts, handling teasing, negotiating or compromising because they don’t have brothers and sisters to help them learn those skills in those day-to-day tiffs and teases. So try not to raise your only child with kid gloves. And make sure you find ways to help your child resolve conflicts and negotiate hot-button issues so she has those skills to handle the real world.

4. Stretch unique talents and strengths

If you’re a parent of an only child, I’d advise you to just do what every other parent should do: reflect on our child’s own unique talents, interests, passions, personality and temperament. Then look at the activities and interests in which she currently partakes.

Do they match her natural nature? Will they stretch his unique talents and strengths? Or are those activities more in sync with what you hope she will enjoy or your own talents, strengths, skills or memories?

Help your child become his own person. After all, your son or daughter deserves that privilege – as does every child.

Breathe: The Kids Will Be All Right (Really!)

If you’re wondering if “onlies” should be treated any differently that kids from multi-sibling families, relax. The single greatest correlation of what raises an emotionally healthy kid has nothing to do with birth order or family size. What matter more in how our kids turn out is our parenting style and how we interact with our kids.

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Dr Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, is one of the most comprehensive parenting book for kids 3 to 13. This down-to-earth guide offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and much more. Each of the 101 challenging parenting issues includes specific step-by-step solutions and practical advice that is age appropriate based on the latest research. The Big Book of Parenting Solutions has been released and is now available at amazon.com.

You Have Better Things to Do Than Wait in Line

Last updated on March 29th, 2018 at 12:20 am

When you’re juggling work, household chores and a sick kid, it can seem like there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. But don’t throw your hands up in defeat — the secret to fitting it all in is doing certain tasks or errands at specific times throughout the week. We turned to the experts and found out how to adjust your routine to avoid long lines and crowds, to help you get back home as fast as possible.

Go to the gym … on Sunday mornings.

“You’ll avoid waiting to use your favorite machines, since a lot of people go to church or use this time to be with their families,” says Mark Di Vincenzo, author of Buy Ketchup in May and Fly at Noon and the upcoming book Your Pinkie Is More Powerful Than Your Thumb. And because you won’t be twiddling your thumbs while some guy finishes four sets on the pull-down machine, you’ll speed through your workout in record time.

Pick up groceries … early on Wednesday.

Not only is this when supermarkets are the emptiest, meaning no long lines at the check-out, but it’s also the day chains usually start their weekly sales. “The shelves will still be fully stocked, so you won’t miss out on the deal,” says Di Vincenzo, who also recommends avoiding Sunday afternoons. People often clip coupons on Sundays and shop for the week, so stores are usually packed.

Schedule a doctor’s appointment … at 1:00 in the afternoon.

You have better places to be than a waiting room, so show up right when the office reopens after its midday break. “Physicians see their morning patients before they go to lunch, so when they return, they usually have a clean slate,” says Michael Kaplan, author of The Best Time to Do Everything. “And you also miss the a.m. chaos, when people who woke up feeling sick get squeezed in.”

Go to the DMV … on Wednesday around 3:00 p.m.

“Many people try to get this errand out of the way during lunchtime early in the week or right before the weekend,” says Di Vincenzo. “But during the afternoon on Wednesdays, it’s a lot emptier.” And head there around the 15th of the month. Di Vincenzo says that many state workers are pressed with deadlines near the end or beginning of the month, so going to the DMV smack in the middle is best.

Go to the bank … 30 minutes after doors open on Wednesday.

“If you actually have to talk to a teller, try not to go on Mondays, when people take care of weekend business, or Fridays, which is when paychecks come out and get cashed,” says Kaplan. Why not go right when the doors open? Believe it or not, people are often waiting then to get in, so there’s an immediate line. Kaplan says to give those early birds half an hour to disappear.

Ship a package … half an hour after the post office opens.

Similar to what happens at the bank, Di Vincenzo says that people want to get this task out of the way and are there bright and early. Show up after that rush — but before lunchtime — and you’ll probably be able to walk right up to the counter.

Get your car repaired … first thing on Thursday.

“For some reason, auto mechanics are less busy on Thursdays,” says Di Vincenzo. “So not only will you be seen faster, but since the repair shop is so anxious for business, you might also be able to negotiate a better rate.” Drop your car off in the morning. “If it’s a more complex job and the mechanic needs a part, they can order it and have it included in their afternoon shipment,” says Kaplan. That means you’ll get your vehicle back sooner — so you can get on with your day.

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