Can My Child Be In Charge of The Family Dog?
It usually goes something like this… ”Mom, can we get a dog, PLEASE!”. Mom’s reply, “Well, if we get a dog you’ll need to take care of the dog; this means walking, feeding, picking up the poop, blah, blah, blah.” The reality is that if mom is truly thinking that the child will learn responsibility and be able to be the caretaker of the family dog, she most likely will end up being frustrated and disappointed, not to mention there can be issues of safety to consider.
Besides Mom’s disappointment your child will end up feeling frustrated too because dogs generally don’t listen to kids.
Dogs follow leaders and will gravitate to the most reliable, consistent person in the family who provides what they need in life to be happy and safe.
Children, since they are still developing, can be more emotional, unpredictable, unreliable and energetic. These qualities communicate to the dog that the child is not in charge, and therefore, the dog generally will not listen to the child.
So now that we know that children usually can not be successful at being “in charge” of the dog, can we still help our child to learn to be a responsible dog owner and help care for the family dog? Absolutely!
Here are a few suggestions to help parents encourage good and safe interactions, helping create a lasting bond between your child and family dog.
Include your child whenever you can with daily care, but you must lay the ground work first. Every task that pertains to your dog, such as daily feeding, providing fresh water, walking, grooming, and basic training, needs to be done first by an adult to understand how you want your child to help, and if they can assist with these daily tasks. You also need to learn about your dog’s personality to find out how they will respond to new things. You will find that some tasks work out better than others.
It’s great to have children help with care, but be sure to demonstrate how you want things done. Furthermore, if you want to get them to be less reliant on you telling them when something needs to be done, set up a dog task chart and have your child indicate when the job is accomplished. Obviously, you still need to supervise when and if a task is completed so the dog doesn’t pay the penalty of lack of care.
Be sure to create situations where your child and dog can have fun together. Even though the dog may not see the child as a leader, your dog will be more likely to respond positively to your child if he sees that good things happen when the child is around! Playing fetch, hide and seek, searching games for kibble, are all great ways to bond, and also get the child and dog to learn mutual respect while having fun. Even something as simple as having your child read to the dog can be a quiet time activity for both.
Supervise all interactions, especially with young children. As a parent, you need to give immediate feedback to your child when you see your dog does not want to interact, and may be trying to move away from the situation. Likewise, if the dog is getting too excited or overly stimulated, you need to intervene to deescalate the situation. Even if everyone is playing and having fun, supervise, because things can go wrong in a heart beat! It’s important to understand that if a dog doesn’t see the child as a leader, and wants to communicate that it doesn’t like something your child is doing, the dog may feel it has the “right” to give a correction. This correction may be in the form of a bark, nip or bite. This is because dogs see everyone in a hierarchy, and children are not usually at the top.
Hire a Professional. A professional dog trainer will not only help you with training, but also can advise you on some fun ways that your dog and child can play and interact with basic training techniques.
Even though most children can’t be a reliable leader or primary caretaker for the dog, they can still help and begin to learn the responsibilities of caring for the family dog.
Sat. at AMC, Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero is Sensory Friendly
Since 2007, AMC Entertainment (AMC) and the Autism Society have teamed up to bring families affected by autism and other special needs “Sensory Friendly Films” every month – a wonderful opportunity to enjoy fun new films in a safe and accepting environment. Tomorrow, Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero is Sensory Friendly at AMC.
The movie auditoriums will have their lights turned up and the sound turned down. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. 
But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.
Families affected by autism or other special needs can view a sensory friendly screening of Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero on Saturday, April 28th at 10am (local time). Tickets are typically $4 to $6 depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).
Coming in May: Avengers: Infinity War (Sat 5/5 & 5/12); Deadpool 2 (Tues 5/22); Show Dogs (Sat 5/26)
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Editor’s note: Although Sgt. Stubby: An American Hero has been chosen by the AMC and the Autism Society as this month’s Sensory Friendly Film, we do want parents to know that it is rated PG by the Motion Picture Association of America for war action and some thematic elements. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your family.
Binge Eating Disorder: Warning Signs & How to Get Your Teen Help
Binge eating disorder involves regularly eating large portions of food all at once until you feel uncomfortably full, and then often upset or guilty.
Symptoms of binge eating disorder
The main symptom of binge eating disorder is eating very large amounts of food in a short time, often in an out-of-control way. But symptoms may also include:
- eating very fast during a binge
- eating until you feel uncomfortably full
- eating when you’re not hungry
- eating alone or secretly
- feeling depressed, guilty, ashamed or disgusted after binge eating
People who regularly eat in this way may have binge eating disorder.
Warning signs of binge eating disorder in someone else
The following warning signs could indicate that someone you care about has an eating disorder:
- eating a lot of food, very fast
- trying to hide how much they are eating
- storing up supplies of food
- putting on weight – though this doesn’t happen to everyone with binge eating disorder
Getting help for binge eating disorder
If you think you may have binge eating disorder, see your GP (*physician) as soon as you can.
They will ask you questions about your eating habits and how you’re feeling, and will check your weight and overall health.
If they think you may have binge eating disorder, or another eating disorder, your GP should refer you to an eating disorder specialist or team of specialists.
It can be very hard to admit you have a problem and to ask for help. It may make things easier if you bring a friend or loved one with you to your appointment.
You can also talk in confidence to an adviser from eating disorders charity Beat (in the UK**) by calling its adult helpline on 0808 801 0677 or youth helpline on 0808 801 0711.
Getting help for someone else
If you’re concerned that a family member or friend may have binge eating disorder, let them know you’re worried about them and encourage them to see their GP. You could offer to go along with them.
Read more about talking to your child about eating disorders and supporting someone with an eating disorder.
Treatment for binge eating
With the right treatment and support, most people recover from binge eating disorder, but it may take time.
The main treatments for binge eating are:
- guided self-help programmes – involves working through a book about binge eating and having sessions with a therapist to support you
- a type of talking therapy called cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) – in group sessions or individual (one-on-one) sessions
Binge eating disorder often causes weight gain (though not always), which can lead to other health problems.
You shouldn’t try to diet while you are having treatment as it can make your binge eating worse.
Read more about treating binge eating disorder.
Causes of binge eating
We don’t know exactly what causes binge eating disorder and other eating disorders. You may be more likely to get an eating disorder if:
- you or a member of your family has a history of eating disorders, depression, or alcohol or drug addiction
- you have been criticised for your eating habits, body shape or weight
- you are overly concerned with being slim, particularly if you also feel pressure from society or your job – for example, ballet dancers, jockeys, models or athletes
- you have anxiety, low self-esteem, an obsessive personality or are a perfectionist
- you have been sexually abused
Editor’s Note:
* Clarification Provided for our U.S. Readers
** Resources Outside the UK:
- U.S.: National Eating Disorder Hotline (NEDA)
- Canada: Eating Disorder Hope – links to websites and helplines for youths and adults
From www.nhs.uk
Child Health & Safety News 4/23: Help Your Child Predict Migraines
In this week’s Child Safety News: A new large-scale meta-analysis looking at more than 50 years of research has found that child care in early life does not increase the risk of asthma in children bit.ly/2JVe7D7
Welcome to Pediatric Safety’s weekly “Child Health & Safety News Roundup”- a recap of the past week’s child health and safety news headlines from around the world. Each day we use social media to communicate relevant and timely health and safety information to the parents, medical professionals and caregivers who follow us. Occasionally we overlook something, but overall we think we’re doing a pretty good job of keeping you informed. Still, quite a bit happens every day – so to make sure you don’t miss anything, we offer you a recap of this week’s top 20 events & stories.
- Hundreds of Immigrant Children Have Been Taken From Parents at U.S. Border https://nyti.ms/2K5sOn8 2018-4-22
- ADHD and Perfectionism: What You Need to Know https://u.org/2Hhb9eh 2018-4-22
- Help for parents of challenging children http://ow.ly/5oKX30jC69G 2018-4-21
- Is your grandchild safe from drowning around pools, spas and all water? bit.ly/2vEhFXk 2018-4-21
- Mom’s fundraising helps advance research into deadly brain tumor stan.md/2Hgu3SB 2018-4-21
- 6 Tips to Help Your Child Get Quality Sleep zpr.io/nw6k9 2018-4-20
- Do you ever give in when your child begs? Or take away a toy due to bad behavior and give it back when they promise to be good? Here are some of the consequences you may be setting yourself up for… bit.ly/2JeK4or 2018-4-20
- Report: AAP found that the number of kids between the ages of 8-13 visiting ER’s for concussions has doubled bit.ly/2qNEamV 2018-4-20
PedSafe Child Health & Safety News Headline of the Week:
How to Help Your Child Predict (and Prevent) Migraines cle.clinic/2qQy84Z from the Cleveland Clinic!
- The Role of Heroes for Children http://ow.ly/sv8z30jysB1 via RootsOfAction 2018-4-19
- Baby’s cough leads to discovery of failing heart bit.ly/2JY1OpE 2018-4-19
- Bystanders key to tackling cyber-bullying epidemic bit.ly/2JXYV8j 2018-4-19
- How did my child get an ear infection–Part I ? – Thurs Time Capsule 04/11 bit.ly/2IFepw7 2018-4-19
- Ever wanted to change the world? Empatico just won an award from Fast Company for doing that!!! Empatico Connects Global Students To Build Empathy Between Kids bit.ly/2H9aJ9K 2018-4-18
- Kids Need Vitamin D – Can It Be Gotten Safely From Sunlight bit.ly/2EVToLw 2018-4-18
- 7 Ways to Teach Anger Management Skills to a Child bit.ly/2qBhshG 2018-4-17
- ‘Looping’ With Students – spending more than one year with the same teacher – Boosts Learning, Especially for Kids of Color, Study Says bit.ly/2viT5uT 2018-4-17
- How to Guide Your Children Through the Minefield of Sexting cle.clinic/2ERUXtU Study shows it’s becoming more common among tweens and teens 2018-4-17
- Cutting-edge surgery will enable a little girl with cerebral palsy-spastic diplegia to leave wheelchair behind bit.ly/2EO8DGd 2018-4-16
- Autism Awareness Month: A Chance to Redefine Disability bit.ly/2JHyQdv 2018-4-16
- Child-care expert to talk on developing empathy in children bit.ly/2ELuaiN Roots of Empathy – program in BC -has taught hundreds of thousands of kids kindness and empathy 2018-4-16
How to Teach Kids to Be Active Bystanders to Reduce Bullying
Studies show that active bystanders can do far more than just watch. In fact, student bystanders may be our last, best hope in reducing bullying. Active student bystanders can:
- Reduce the audience that a bully craves
- Mobilize the compassion of witnesses to step in and stop the bullying
- Support the victim and reduce the trauma
- Be a positive influence in curbing a bullying episode
- Encourage other students to support a school climate of caring
- Report a bullying incident since 85 percent of time bullying occurs an adult is not present. Students are usually the witnesses
When bystanders intervene correctly, studies find they can stop the bullying more than half the time and within 10 seconds. [Pepler and Craig]
There are parameters to activate student bystanders, so get educated! Here are a few facts to ensure success:
To ensure success you must first mobilize students to be active bystanders.- You must give students permission to step in.
- You must also teach specific strategies so they can step in.
- Each strategy must be rehearsed or role-played, until kids can use it alone. (I’ve had schools have students role-play these in assemblies, make them into chart-reminders that are posted around the school, and even have students create mini-videos of each strategy to share with peers).
- Not every strategy will work for every student, so you must provide a range of strategies.
- Ideally you must enlist your peer leaders – those students on the highest popularity tier who other students look up to – to mobilize other peers.
- Adults must be onboard with the approach and understand what bullying is and how to respond. Adults must listen to student reports on bullying and back students up. The biggest reason kids say they don’t report: “The adult didn’t listen or do anything to help.” Step up adults!
The best news is that child advocates and parents can teach kids these same bystander skills. Doing so empowers children with tools to stop cruelty, help victims feel safer and reduce bullying. Here are the three steps:
STEP ONE: Teach Students Tattling vs. Reporting
Kids must realize that safety is always the primary goal, so stress to students:
- “If someone could get hurt, REPORT!
- “It’s always better to be safe than sorry.”
Teach students the crucial difference between “Tattling” and “Reporting” so they will know when they should step in because a child is bullied or when to step back and let two kids handle things for themselves because it’s just friendly teasing. Also identify specific trusted adults children can go to and report bullying incidents if they do identify bullying. Here is the crucial difference:
- Tattling is when you trying to get kids IN trouble when they aren’t hurting themselves or other.
- Reporting is when you’re trying to help keep kids OUT of trouble because they may get hurt (or they are). Report bullying to an adult you trust. If the adult doesn’t listen, keep reporting until you find an adult who does listen.
STEP TWO: Teach What Bullying Looks and Sounds Like
The next step is to teach students what bullying behaviors look like so they will know when they should step in and not when the behavior is mere teasing.
1. Explain 3 parts of bullying:
- Bullying is a cruel or aggressive act that is done on purpose. The bully has more power (strength, status, or size) than the targeted child who cannot hold his own.
- The hurtful bullying behavior is not an accident, but done on purpose.
- The bully usually seems to enjoy seeing the victim in distress and rarely accepts responsibility and often says the target “deserved” the hurtful treatment.”
2. Teach: “Five Bullying Types”: Depending on the child’s age, bullying can take on difference forms including and children need to know what those forms. Bullying can be:
- Physical: Punching, hitting, slamming, socking, spitting, slapping;
- Verbal: Saying put downs, nasty statements, name calling, taunting, racial slurs, or hurtful comments, threatening;
- Emotional: Shunning, excluding, spreading rumors or mean gossip, ruining your reputation;
- Electronic or cyber-bullying: Using the Internet, cell phone, camera, text messaging, photos to say mean or embarrassing things;
- Sexual: Saying or doingthings that are lewd or disrespectful in a sexual way
3. Mobilize Student Compassion Students could make posters, power-point presentations, skits, or projects about bullying. The key is for students to understand the real definition of bullying. And they must know that the staff is serious about supporting them and will back them up and respond.
4. Use Literature or Videos: You might also use literature or video clips to help students understand the definition of bullying. Here are a few literature favorites: Confessions of a Former Bully by Trudy Ludwig; Say Something by Peggy Moss Gardiner; Teammates by Peter Golenbock; The Bully Blockers Club, by Teresa Bateman.
STEP THREE: Teach “Bully BUSTER Bystander” Skills
I teach the acronym BUSTER as a mnemonic to help kids remember the skills more easily. Each letter in the word represents one of the six bystander skills.
Borba’s Six “Be a Bully B.U.S.T.E.R.” Skills
Not all strategies work for all kids. The trick is to match the techniques with what works best with the child’s temperament and comfort level and the particular situation.
Don’t forget to ask students for their input and additional ideas. Their creativity never ceases to amaze me!
1. B -Befriend the Victim
Bystanders often don’t intervene because they don’t want to make things worse or assume the victim doesn’t want help. But research shows that if witnesses know a victim feels upset or wants help they are more likely to step in. Also, if a bystander befriends a victim, the act is more likely to get others to join the cause and stand up to the bully. A few ways bystanders can befriend victims:
Show comfort: Stand closer to the victim.- Wave other peers over: “Come help!”
- Ask if the victim wants support: “Do you need help?”
- Empathize: “I bet he feels sad.”
- Clarify feelings: “She looks upset.”
You can also encourage students to befriend a bullied after the episode. “That must have felt so bad.” “I’m with you. Sorry I didn’t speak out.” “That happened to me, too.” “Do you want me to help you find a teacher to talk to?” Though after the episode won’t reduce the bullying at the moment, it will help reduce the pain of both the targeted child and the witness. It may also help other children recognize there are safe ways to defend and support a targeted child.
2. U -Use a Distraction
The right diversion can draw peers from the scene, make them focus elsewhere, give the target a chance to get away, and may get the bully to move on. Remember, a bully wants an audience, so bystanders can reduce it with a distraction.
One of the best distractions I’ve ever seen was a teen who saw bullying but did not feel safe stepping in to help (and most children as well as adults do not). So he got crafty. He unzipped his backpack and then walked nearby the scene and threw the backpack to the ground. Of course, he made it appear as though it was an accident, but it was a deliberate and brilliant act. “Oh no,” he said. “All my stuff is on the ground and the bell is going to ring. My grade will get dinged. Can anyone help?” And the teen drew the audience from the bully to help him pick up his papers. The target also had a chance to sneak to safety.
Ploys include:
- Ask a question: “What are you all doing here?”
- Use diversion: “There’s a great volleyball game going on! Come on!”
- Make up false excuse to disperse a crowd: “A teacher is coming!”
- Feigning interruption: “I can’t find my bus.”
3. S -Speak Out and Stand Up!
Speaking out can get others to lend a hand and join you. You must stay cool, and never boo, clap, laugh, or insult, which could egg the bully on even more. Students also must learn how to assert themselves and say that speaking up to a bully is the hardest of the six Bully Buster Strategies. The students in the photo are learning my “CALM Approach” when speaking up to a bully. Best yet, older students are teaching the skill to younger students. Stress that directly confronting a bully is intimidating and it’s a rare kid who can, but there are ways to still stand up to cruelty. Here are a few possibilities:
- Show disapproval: Give a cold, silent stare.
- Name it: “That’s bullying!”
- Label it: “That’s mean!”
- State disapproval: “This isn’t cool!” “Don’t do that!” “Cut it out!”
- Ask for support: “Are you with me?”
4. T -Tell or Text For Help
Bystanders often don’t report bullying for fear of retaliation, so make sure they know which adults will support them, and ensure confidentiality. You must give students the option of anonymous reporting. An active bystander could:
- Find an adult you trust to tell. Keep going until you find someone who believes you
- Call for help from your cell.
- Send a text to someone who can get help. Many schools now have a text service.
- Call 911 if someone could be injured.
5. E -Exit Alone or With Others
Stress that bullies love audiences. Bystanders can drain a bully’s power by reducing the group size a few ways. Students bystanders could:
- Encourage: “You coming?”
- Ask: “What are you all doing here?”
- Direct: “Let’s go!”
- Suggest: “Let’s leave.”
- Exit: If you can’t get others to leave with you, then walk away. If you stay, you’re part of the cruelty. Leaving means you refuse to be part. Just quietly leave the scene.
6. R -Give a Reason or Offer a Remedy
Research finds that bystanders are more likely to help when told why the action is wrong or what to do. Students could:
- Review why it’s wrong: “This isn’t right!” “This is mean!” “You’ll get suspended.” “You’ll hurt him.”
- Offer a remedy: “Go get help!” “Let’s work this out with Coach.”
Final Thoughts
The right comments and behaviors can make peers stop, think, consider the consequences, and even move on. Those seconds are crucial and enough to stop the bullying or mobilize other students to step in and help.
Bystanders can make a difference. They can be mobilized to step in and reduce bullying-that is if they are taught how.
But it’s up to adults to show students safe ways to do so, help them practice those strategies so they are comfortable using them in the real world, and then support and believe them and acknowledge their courageous efforts.
Hundreds of students today skipped school because of peer intimidation and bullying. It’s time to rethink our strategies and teach bystanders how to step in safely and speak out against peer cruelty.
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Bullying-prevention and character expert Michele Borba, Ed.D. has spent the past three decades studying youth violence and bullying and worked with more than a million students, parents, educators, and law enforcement officials worldwide. The result is End Peer Cruelty, Build Empathy: The Proven 6Rs of Bullying Prevention That Create Inclusive, Safe and Caring Schools. Based on the 6Rs: Rules, Recognize, Report, Respond, Refuse, and Replace, the book utilizes the strongest pieces of best practices and current research for ways to reduce cruelty and increase positive behavior support. Also included are guidelines for implementing strategies, nurturing empathy and caring relationships, collecting data, training staff, mobilizing students and parents, building social-emotional skills, and sustaining progress. The result is a proven framework that will reduce bullying, create safer more inclusive schools and produce more kind-hearted, empathetic children. End Peer Cruelty, Build Empathy was released February 19th and is now available at amazon.com
Tomorrow Night, Rampage is an AMC Sensory Friendly Film
As always, the movie auditoriums will have their lights turned up and the sound turned down. Families will be able to bring in snacks to match their child’s dietary needs (i.e. gluten-free, casein-free, etc.), there are no advertisements or previews before the movie and it’s totally acceptable to get up and dance, walk, shout, talk to each other…and even sing – in other words, AMC’s “Silence is Golden®” policy will not be enforced during movie screenings unless the safety of the audience is questioned.
Does it make a difference? Absolutely! Imagine …no need to shhhhh your child. No angry stares from other movie goers. Many parents think twice before bringing a child to a movie theater. Add to that your child’s special needs and it can easily become cause for parental panic. 
But on this one day a month, for this one screening, everyone is there to relax and have a good time, everyone expects to be surrounded by kids – with and without special needs – and the movie theater policy becomes “Tolerance is Golden“.
AMC and the Autism Society will be showing Rampage as a sensory friendly feature film tomorrow, Tuesday, April 24th at 7pm (local time). Tickets can be as low as $4 to $6 depending on the location. To find a theatre near you, here is a list of AMC theatres nationwide participating in this fabulous program (note: to access full list, please scroll to the bottom of the page).
Still to Come in April: Sgt Stubby: An American Hero (Sat. 4/28)
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Editor’s note: Rampage has been chosen by AMC and the Autism Society for a Tuesday Sensory Friendly “Mature Audience” screening. Parents should be advised that it is rated PG-13 by the Motion Picture Association of America for sequences of violence, action and destruction, brief language, and crude gestures. As always, please check the IMDB Parents Guide for a more detailed description of this film to determine if it is right for you and your family.
