No More “Tears in Heaven” – Child Deaths Are Often Preventable
Recent headlines in the local news took me back to previous times in my life…
Have you heard the song “Tears in Heaven” by Eric Clapton? In my opinion- one of the most touching songs I have ever heard. Do you know or remember the story behind the song?
In 1991 Clapton’s four year old son fell from an open window 53 stories to his death. The song “Tears in Heaven” was inspired by this tragedy- one way in which he dealt. I could never imagine bearing my soul in such a fashion to share my personal thoughts and feelings with the world regarding the loss of a child. Can you imagine?
Years earlier while still a medic, I responded to a child who fell three floors to his death. It was sad and tragic. It was preventable.
Recently two children in CT and one in PA fell from open windows- one died. These events are all preventable.
It’s hot, it’s miserable- open windows are often the only respite. In the case of Clapton’s son Connor, a cleaning person momentarily opened the window for cleaning. In mere seconds the worst, most unimaginable event took place. 53 stories. Four years old. Preventable.
This is one of many childhood deaths that take no time at all- drowning- including bath tub is another example. Following the Connecticut events at least one of the news shows discussed simple window guards sold at most hardware and home improvement stores. Low cost, quick and easy to install. If you rent- then speak to your landlord.
Please don’t be another headline- another statistic.
“Tears In Heaven”
Lyrics by Eric Clapton and Will Jennings
…
“Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door, there’s peace I’m sure,
And I know there’ll be no more
Tears in Heaven.”
…
What Age Should Your Child Start Swimming Lessons?
Most parents wait until their children are school-age to start swimming lessons. After all, most children don’t have the physical coordination to truly master swimming until they are older. They may look at the parent-and-tot classes and think, ‘they are just playing, do I really need to pull on my bathing suit for that?’
The answer is unequivocally YES! Children ages 1-4 have the highest drowning rate worldwide of all age groups. In the U.S., children ages 1-4 usually drown in private pools, were being supervised, but were out of sight of one or both parents for under 5 minutes. It only takes 2 minutes and 2 inches of water to drown. Pretty scary stuff. The great news is that participation in formal swimming lessons is associated with an 88% reduction in the risk of drowning in 1-4 year olds and even informal swimming lessons reduce the risk, which means just taking your child into the water with you and playing ‘safety games’ can make them safer around water. For some fun informal games check out last month’s blog “Fun water safety games! Survival skills for your child” again.
What type of swimming lessons should you consider? Lessons for young children run the gamut from ‘survival skills’ to what appears to just be games with nursery songs. As a mother and an expert in drowning prevention I am strongly in favor of the ‘games’ option. Those games are key to teaching children to feel comfortable in the water as well as forming the basis for teaching elemental skills that are the foundation of swimming.
Some parents become so afraid of drowning that they hope to instill fear of the water into their child in the belief that their child is more likely to stay away from the water. Nothing could be further from the truth, or more dangerous. Fear leads to panic. If a child falls into the water unexpectedly you want them to remain calm, to turn on their back and float, kick for the side, kick and paddle, grab the side and hold on, do monkey hands to the nearest steps or ladder – anything but panic. Early classes will not only keep a child from drowning, but they can buy you that extra minute or two to notice your child is missing.
Some infant survival classes initiate children into the water so abruptly that it is frightening to a child and may take years to undo the damage. A good rule of thumb is to observe a class. If parents are asked to leave the area, if children are crying (beyond the normal apprehension that does occur with some children which should be handled with gentle understanding), if you ever see an instructor force a child’s head under the water, find a different class.
Helping your child develop a safe and respectful attitude towards water, while still having fun, will keep them safe for their whole life. And singing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’ to your baby while you teach them to float on their back is really very magical.
Fun water safety games! Survival skills for your child
Swimming lessons are a tradition for many families – once children get to be school age. But don’t wait so long to introduce your children to the water, and don’t think that swimming lessons is the same thing as teaching children to be safe around the water. The American Academy of Pediatricians recommends that children start in swimming lessons from the age of one. Why? Because drowning is the leading cause of 
death for children ages 1-4 globally. That is terrifying to most parents and many instinctively react by trying to keep their kids away from water until they are older, but the opposite approach will keep your child safer – for their whole life.
Think about it – babies are in water in the womb for their first 9 months. Water is naturally soothing. Do you remember your baby’s expression when they had their first bath? Quizzical at first and then a bit alarmed when they hit the water and it splashed, but then pure joy. Bath-time becomes a treasured ritual. Your baby loves the feeling of your arm around them and your close attention. And, water truly does soothe the savage beast – it’s calming. Children naturally gravitate towards water because it is soothing – and fun, and the source of great joy.
There are a number of water safety things that you can do with your child whenever you are near water, starting in infancy and adding as they get older – and remember, all of these ‘games’ are also fun for children, so it’s a positive experience for both of you.
Bath safety: Start by being positive with your baby in the bath. Toys, songs, allowing them to splash are all important ways of making your baby comfortable in and around water which will lessen their fear later on. It’s especially good for your baby to gradually get used to having water poured over their face – it’s the first step to putting their face in and blowing bubbles. Splashing may make a mess but it also lets a baby control water getting in their face. Talk to your baby, tell them you will always be near them when they are in water – and then do it – never leave your child alone in the tub.
Stories: Use a book like ‘Jabari Makes A Splash’ to teach your child ‘never go near water without a grownup’. You can order the book at Amazon and there are free coloring sheets at the web-site to remind kids of the lessons. Think about hanging up a favorite drawing in the bathroom to remind everyone that a grownup needs to be nearby whenever children are in the tub.
Humpty Dumpty: Start playing ‘Humpty Dumpty’ as soon as your child can sit up. Your child sits on the side of the pool while you hold them, you sing ‘Humpty Dumpty’ and when Humpty does a big fall you help your child ‘fall’ forward and then say ‘turn around and hold on!’ Their head doesn’t go under water and at first they probably can’t even grasp the side, so just put their clenched fist on the side of the pool. But over time you graduate to having their head go under and eventually letting go of them, but always, ‘turn around and hold on’.
Monkey Hands: When your child has the physical coordination, have them hold on to the side of the pool with both hands, with feet against the wall and ‘walk’ their hands around the pool. At first they may only be able to go a couple of feet – to the ladder or steps, but over time they’ll want to try going around the whole pool and then pulling themselves out on the side – no ladder or steps!
For Older Kids: Once they get a bit older and have mastered Humpty Dumpty and Monkey Hands, hold your child’s hand and have them push down to touch the bottom of the pool where the pool slopes. Again, it will help them internalize the correct reaction if they fall in – ‘oh yes, I just push up from the bottom and grab the side’. You are teaching them to just react correctly to save themselves.
Then move on to jumping in the deep end and swimming the length of the pool, diving for rings, and ‘coral reef dives’ – swimming between your legs without touching the coral (your legs) or the coral will scrape them. Whatever fun games you can devise that will get your kids comfortable with being in the water and out of their depth will help keep your kids safer.
The idea with all these water safety games is the same – give the child confidence, let them learn their limits in the water gradually, and most importantly, teach them what to do if they ever do fall in the water unexpectedly. You are teaching them to rescue themselves, or at worst, not panic for at least a crucial minute or two until you notice they are missing. And be prepared for each child to progress at a radically different rate. My son was diving and swimming competently at four, my daughter didn’t really connect until seven – but they both love water and understand safety and their own limitations.
Water will be around your child their whole life, and it is a source of great joy and health – help your child to enjoy the water safely!
Where Do Children Drown?
In the U.S., a disproportionate amount of press is given to children drowning in swimming pools, and while it’s true that children ages 1-5 are most likely to drown in swimming pools, it’s not the whole story, and I think it gives parents a false sense of security about water safety. It’s important to know the different dangers, and how to teach your children to navigate the dangers at any age.
So, let’s look at where children are most likely to drown at different ages and what you need to know:
Age: For infants, birth to one year, bathtubs pose the greatest danger. The statistics don’t break it down by months, but I’d guess it’s as soon as your baby can sit upright unsupported that you feel you can dash out of the bathroom to grab clean jammies, answer the phone, or stop a fight between your older kids. Or maybe you think they are safe in that bath seat with the suction cups on the bottom. Or you put the baby in with an older sibling who, you are sure, will raise the alarm if necessary.
Solution: Never, ever leave your child alone in the bathtub until they can swim the length of a 25m pool. Young children reach for toys and fall over. Those seats tip over – never trust them unless you are in the room, or don’t buy them in the first place. As for older siblings, well, they may feel a bit conflicted about your new bundle of joy and give a gentle push or not call if the baby falls over, but then know they did something wrong and not want to get in trouble. It takes one minute of submersion for brain damage to begin and two minutes to die.
Age: 1 to 5 – swimming pools.
Solution: Check out www.poolsafely.gov for great trips on keeping your pool safe. The best rule of all, tell your children to ALWAYS have an adult with them when they go near water. When I had a pool, the rule was no one could even go down the steps to where the fenced pool was without me. Period. This is one limit you need to set and stick to diligently. When your child is in the pool, you need to watch them, constantly. The lifeguard is not there to babysit and since I know you understand how hard it is to keep an eye on one child, imagine a lifeguard trying to watch 200 children. The most important strategy is to talk to your child regularly about how to act around water – no horseplay (dunking isn’t fun, it’s scary and dangerous), always have an adult nearby, and KNOW YOUR LIMITS!
Age: 6 to 12 – open water
Solution: Lifejackets in boats. Again, a non-negotiable rule. But beyond that, again, talk to your child, have them in regular swimming lessons, and help them to KNOW THEIR LIMITS. A tranquil pool is radically different from the wave pool at a water park or the surf off Santa Monica. For complete guidelines, Seattle Children’s Hospital is cutting edge. (insert link: http://www.seattlechildrens.org/classes-community/community-programs/drowning-prevention/open-water-guidelines/ )
Age: 13 to 18 – alcohol
Solution: It’s not just drinking and driving you need to be worried about, it’s drinking and drowning. Alcohol is the greatest contributing factor in drowning deaths for teenagers. By now, hopefully, you’ve been talking to your teenagers about the dangers of mixing alcohol and heavy machinery, you need to add in what happens when you mix with water. And again, teach them to KNOW THEIR LIMITS around water because teenage bravado, alcohol and water are an unforgiving combination.
All fairly dismal statistics, but as you know, I’m all about JOY! in the water. If you are teaching your child, from birth, to navigate water respectfully and safely, while they have fun, you have given them the greatest gift of all, you have taught them to navigate their environment independently and intelligently – and isn’t that what parenting is all about?
Einstein Your Thinking and Keep Your Child Safe Around Water
“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” …Albert Einstein
Sometimes the usual methods just aren’t as effective as innovative ways of teaching.
Ballroom dance can teach students how to respect the opposite sex. Huh? Ballroom Dancing? Yes. Watch “Mad, Hot Ballroom” or “Take the Lead” to learn how schools in New York are using ballroom dance classes to help improve children’s self-esteem and to teach respect for the opposite sex.
One child drowns every minute. Drowning is the leading cause of death globally for children ages 1-4. Yet conventional wisdom says that we need to keep young children away from the water until they are old enough for swimming lessons. The problem? Toddlers are escape artists. It takes only 2 minutes to drown. True coordination for swimming rarely occurs until children are about 5. And we, rightfully so, make water fun for children from the time they are babies and then don’t teach them how to be safe in the water. We give them mixed messages and we wait too late. Water safety isn’t just swimming or avoidance.
Don’t fall into the trap of following conventional wisdom when it comes to water safety. Young children need to be taught how to relate safely to the water the same way they are taught to cross the street safely. Positively, repetitively, and age-appropriately. Start when they are infants – teach them to never go near water without an adult. Show them their limits in the water by gradually introducing them to the water and teaching them how to hold on and turn around, do monkey hands around the side of the pool, and how to push off the bottom of the pool to grab the side.
Contact your local YMCA about Parent and Me swim classes or use the book Jabari Makes A Splash to talk to young children about water safety. Start when they are very young.
Listen to Einstein.
World Record Swim in Honor of Childhood Drowning Prevention
Don Walsh is an extraordinary man by anyone’s 
definition. Mentor to Navy SEAL candidates, 3-tour Vietnam War Veteran, coach for minority women’s triathalon teams, guitarist, water safety author, husband, and father. He’s been a serious open water swimming competitor for three decades, including circling Key West (12.5 miles), Manhattan (28.5 miles) and the Isle of Jersey (41.5 miles). Did I mention he also has a day job, inspecting bridges for the County of Monmouth?
Don is truly a ‘good guy’ and a great role model for kids. His incredible spirit and generous heart have moved him to dedicate a personal milestone to raising awareness about saving kids from drowning.
In what we believe will set a world record, Don will kick off his 11th year of consecutive monthly open water swims in honor of Childhood Drowning Prevention Month. On May 1st at 1pm, Don will plunge into the Atlantic at Brielle Road Beach in Manasquan, New Jersey.
Help us to raise awareness by spreading the word. Share this on Facebook, tweet it, tell your friends, forward it to your local press.
One child drowns every minute. We can change that. Help us spread the word.
