4 Tips to Take the Stress Out of Back-To-School

Last updated on November 26th, 2023 at 07:44 pm

While somewhere, somehow, there are families happily waltzing back into their school-year routine, most face these first few weeks with a healthy dose of anxiety. “The start of school means the return to a more rigid schedule … the return of homework. In essence, it’s about change, and change is something that is hard for most people,” says Joe Bruzzese, author of A Parent’s Guide to the Middle School Years.

Change is most dramatic for children starting a new chapter — kindergarten, middle school, a move to a new school district. But even returning to what’s familiar can rattle kids. “A child who struggled with math during the previous year can approach the new year with a good deal of anxiety. Kids who have had a rough time with their friends at the end of the year may feel like, ‘Here we go again,’” says Diane Peters Mayer, a therapist in Doylestown, Pa., and author of Overcoming School Anxiety.

So how can you help? First, be calm — even if your child isn’t. Then, try these tips for a smooth ride into the new school year:

Simplify your mornings Scrambling to get your kids — and yourself — out the door can make for a pretty frenetic scene. “It’s crucial for parents to look at their mornings and ask themselves how they can make them better,” says Peters Mayer. Do all you can the night before — make sure backpacks are packed, school forms are signed, lunches are made. You can even ask younger kids to help you set the table for breakfast the next morning. Equally important, get yourself ready the night before so you can connect with your kids in the morning. If you have young children struggling with separation anxiety, it’s the perfect time to go over with them what they can expect for the day, and what Mom and Dad will be doing too.

Create a smart yet flexible after-school routine Sit down with kids and hammer out a schedule that works for all of you. Doing homework right after school may sound good to you. But some kids really need time to decompress, so you could work it out that they play at the school playground for an hour before they begin their homework. “Also, help your child figure out where she’ll do her schoolwork,” says social worker Connie Hammer, a PCI Certified Parent Coach based in Maine. “If she wants a study area to call her own, have fun setting it up with her.” Some kids prefer to be closer to where the action is when they do their homework … and that can work, says Peters Mayer. “As long as homework is completed, be flexible. It shows them you are open to their ideas and teaches kids to be able to say ‘Yeah, I can do this,’” adds Mayer.

Reach out at school There’s no need to wait for parent-teacher conferences or even back-to-school night to meet with your child’s teacher and get the lay of the land. “Much of the anxiety kids feel is their uncertainty about what their new teachers expect of them: ‘What is she going to want, how is she going to grade me?’” explains Hammer. If your child is struggling with significant anxiety or is having social difficulties or separation issues, you may also want to meet with the guidance counselor. “The more the school knows, the better it will be for the child,” says Hammer.

Keep the lines of communication open As kids get older, they often clam up — especially if they are struggling socially or are having a problem with their grades. “Typical parent questions like ‘How was your day?’ generally get a less-than-informative response because they are just too general. Kids don’t really even know how to respond,” says Mayer. Instead, try asking specific questions that show you’re interested in what they’re learning and doing. And once they start talking, just listen. “They may begin to open up about things you didn’t expect,” says Hammer. “Let them know: ‘I believe you can do this. I know we can solve this problem together.’”

Helping Kids Cool Hot Tempers

Last updated on November 26th, 2023 at 07:45 pm

“I tried to stay calm, but it was too late!”

“I wish I could tell when I’m about to explode.”

“Don’t keep telling me I’m going to lose all my friends because of my temper. I can’t help it.”

Your child may be more excitable or passionate by nature, but some times this emotional temperament can get out of control.

Though you can’t change your kid’s basic personality, you can teach him some strategies and skills to help him get along and handle intense feelings. And there are important reasons to do so.

Let’s face it, hot tempers can cause serious damage in health, relationships, school and life, as well as ruin your kid’s reputation. Unless kids learn ways to recognize their own unique danger signs to control their anger, problems are inevitable. After all, hot-tempered kids are no fun to be around.

New studies show that hot tempered kids are also more likely to be bullied or be a bully.

All the reasons to work on this issue problem A.S.A.P. Here are some ways.

Part 1: “Parent Plan” to Help Kids Tune Into Body Alarms

Explain Body Temper Alarms

Go over the way you use your child act when she’s starting to get mad. “You always make that little hissing noise and grind your teeth. Sometimes you stamp your feet. Those are your danger signs that big trouble might be on the way.”

HINT: Each child (as well as you) has their own physiological signs. Those signs materialize whenever we’re under stress and have a fight or flight response. The trick is to help your child identify her unique signs before she loses her temper.

Don’t expect instant recognition: it may take a week or two before she can identify her signs.

Dig Deeper

Talk to your child about what’s causing her temper to flare so quickly.

“You don’t seem like the same kid lately. Anything you want to talk about?”

“You seem so tense and quick-tempered with your friends. What’s going on?”

“I know the move was really tough. Do you think that’s at the bottom of your bad temper lately?”

Point Out Negative Effects

Take time to discuss the negative effects of inappropriate anger displays. Here is a sample dialogue, but personalize it to fit your child and the anger issues:

“Anger can really hurt you. You could lose a friend, get a bad reputation, lose a job, get suspended from school, get hurt. If you don’t control your temper you could be headed for danger and lose your friends.”

Pinpoint the specific negative effects your child’s outbursts have. Doing so often helps the child gain that inner strength to want to change.

Brainstorm Temper Triggers

Help your child recognize the things that bug him the most so he can handle the situation better when he’s with his friends.

“I noticed that whenever George starts exaggerating you hit the roof.”

“What is about the way Lori criticizes your hair I can see your blood pressure rising.”

Help your kid identify that certain look, unfairness, not sharing, interrupting, telling secrets behind your back, put-downs and other things that make his blood boil so he can avoid setting off his temper.

Part 2: “Kid Plan” to Learn Temper Alarms

It may be a great revelation when you tell your child that her body actually sends out warning signs when a hot-temper attack is approaching. Tell her how it happens to you:

“My face gets flushed. My hearts starts beating faster. It’s harder for me to breath. My voice gets louder and I can’t think straight. Body temper alarms like these happen to everyone when they get angry and begin to lose their temper. But good news! You can stop yourself before the volcano erupts.”

Then teach your child these important steps. The best way to teach any new skill is to SHOW the skill, not TELL. So be the model! Repetition, repetition, repetition is how kids acquire the skill so they can use it on their own.

Step 1. Hear the bells going off.  LISTEN

Whenever things are getting rough, pay very close attention to changes in your body. Everyone is different but usually alarms go off in your body that warn you that if you’re starting to lose control. So be on the alert for any familiar body signs that you might be losing your temper.

Step 2. Hit the snooze control.  STOP

Even a few seconds pause are enough to stop your temper from exploding or keep you from doing something you may regret later on.

Find what works for you. Some kids pull a big stop sign in front of their eyes or yell, “Stop” inside their heads. It will help you put the brakes on your temper.

Some kids say to themselves: “Chill out.” Or “I can keep my cool.”

Step 3. Turn down the volume.  BREATHE

Once you’ve told yourself to keep under control you have to take a slow deep breath. You can slow down your heart rate and get yourself back in control by taking slow, deep breaths.

Step 4. Get back into tune.  SEPARATE

Back off from whatever is about to blow up in your face. You could count to 10 (or to 100); hum a few bars of the Star Spangled Banner, think of a pepperoni pizza or gaze up in the sky or whatever it takes to regain your sense of calm.

Word to parents: Do not expect overnight success! Teaching a child to calm a hot temper and learn to identify his unique body temper alarms will take 3 Cs: Consistency, Commitment and Calmness. Aim for gradual diminishment of the temper. If temper outbursts continue or escalate despite your efforts, then it’s time to seek professional help. Meanwhile, don’t forget to use those four steps yourself:

1. Listen
2. Stop
3. Breathe
4. Separate

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Across the nation, student mental health is plummeting, major depression rates among teens and young adults are rising faster than among the overall population, and younger children are being impacted. As a teacher, educational consultant, and parent for 40 years, Dr. Michele Borba has never been more worried than she is about this current generation of kids. In THRIVERS, Dr. Borba explains why the old markers of accomplishment (grades, test scores) are no longer reliable predictors of success in the 21st century – and offers 7 teachable traits that will safeguard our kids for the future. She offers practical, actionable ways to develop these Character Strengths (confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism) in children from preschool through high school, showing how to teach kids how to cope today so they can thrive tomorrow. THRIVERS is now available at amazon.com.

Does Your Child Have a Sleep Disorder?

Last updated on November 26th, 2023 at 07:45 pm

It’s not just about being drowsy during the day. Hyperactivity, poor grades, and social problems are all potential consequences of a childhood sleep disorder. According to a University of Arizona study, kids with sleep apnea are six times more likely to have behavioral problems, and seven times more likely to have learning disabilities. The good news? Sleeping disorders are highly treatable. Here’s how to spot the signs in your child.

1. Insomnia

The inability to fall and/or stay asleep is the most common of all pediatric sleeping disorders, affecting about 25 percent of all children, says Dr. Rosenberg.

Signs: Daytime fatigue/napping, inability to get up on time, and moodiness are all signs of this sleep disorder. “After they finally do get out of bed,” explains Rosenberg, “kids have a tough time getting themselves going.”

Next steps: The first step is improving your child’s sleep hygiene, or habits that can help their circadian cycle. For toddlers and preschoolers, a set bedtime and wake-up time, along with a bedtime routine like a bath and story, is key. For older kids, the problem is often technology use right before — and often in — bed. Light, including from electronics, suppresses melatonin, the sleep hormone. Pull the plug (literally, if you must) on computers, tablets, and Smartphones two hours before bed.

For all ages, nix caffeine (including sneaky sources like some clear sodas, sports drinks, vitamin-infused beverages, and chocolate) six hours pre-bed.

It seems logical that tiring a kid out will encourage sleep. Actually, the opposite can be true. Tag, sport practices, even rousing Wii games within two hours of bedtime raise the core body temperature and make it harder to nod off.

If none of the above seem to help, a call to the pediatrician is a must.

2. Sleep Apnea

If your child is suffering from sleep apnea, she may stop breathing periodically during sleep. This disorder is more common in younger children than teenagers, peaking between the ages of 2 and 8.

Signs: Younger sufferers are often hyperactive, which can be mistaken for ADHD. Other signs include snoring, bedwetting after age six, and frequent sleepwalking, notes Rosenberg. In adolescents, look for unexplained grogginess. Other signs include an inability to pay attention in school and forgetfulness.

Next steps: An overnight sleep study, usually performed at a hospital-run facility, will diagnose sleeping disorders like sleep apnea. Not to worry: you’ll sleep there with your child, and the rooms are usually quite comfortable. If the diagnosis is confirmed, you’ll discuss solutions – like removal of your child’s tonsils and/or adenoids, or nightly use of a CPAP machine. There are no shortcuts, though. “You have to have a sleep study first before any insurer will pay for a CPAP machine,” notes Rosenberg.

3. Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome

This sleep disorder affects a child’s circadian rhythm, the natural cycle that regulates sleep patterns.

Signs: Children have a hard time getting up, staying awake in school, and actively participating in social events.

Next steps: If you suspect delayed sleep phase syndrome, start keeping a sleep diary. Write down when your child falls asleep and wakes up, including any middle of the night rousings. Also note any problematic episodes, such as a teacher report that your child nodded off in class. After doing this for at least two weeks, take the information to your pediatrician, who will diagnosis the sleep disorder based on your child’s medical history and your notes.

If it’s your child is diagnosed with delayed sleep phase syndrome, treatment typically includes bright light exposure in the morning and keeping the child’s bedroom completely dark at night. “Stick to a strict bedtime/wake-up schedule, and don’t vary it on days off from school,” instructs Rosenberg. You may want to consider a melatonin supplement at bedtime for delayed sleep phase syndrome, but check with your pediatrician first.

Sleeping disorders or not, there are a few simple steps that can help the whole family get a more refreshing night’s sleep. Cool is better than warm in bedrooms: 65 to 70 F is ideal, says Rosenberg. Avoid strong, unpleasant odors — that means no late-night painting projects for you, and no manicures in bed for your tween daughter. Lastly, there’s anecdotal evidence that the scent of lavender encourages sleep. Sweet dreams!

Summer Hazards: Part II – Insects & Spiders & Snakes, Oh My!

Last updated on November 26th, 2023 at 07:46 pm

Summer Hazards Part I focused on counteracting the effects of the sun:  remaining well hydrated during the time of the year when fluid loss through activities can cause significant problems and minimizing the potential harm that can be caused by direct exposure to the sun.  Part II focuses more on keeping your family healthy and safe this summer from the pests that come around summer – the insects, spiders and snakes – and the problems that often come along for the ride.

Insect bites:

Most insect bites are benign unless one is allergic to that particular insect. Unfortunately it is not possible to tell who is allergic prior to the first episode of reaction, however, most reactions are of a minor nature, e.g.: hives, general itchiness and red itchy eyes. These can easily be treated with an antihistamine by mouth such as Benadryl and cold compresses to the skin or the eyes. Of course the more serious reactions (usually due to vespids- bees, wasps and hornets) can be fatal but fortunately, they are rare, and usually do not occur with the first reaction. If you are one of the unfortunate few who are known to have serious reactions you will carry with you medicines that can significantly change the outcome of the reaction, e.g.: epipen or epipen jr. which is a form of epinephrine injected just under the skin for maximum (what can be life-saving) effect.

Other insects known to produce reactions or painful side effects include spiders and small insects such as ants. There are certain species of ants, such as fire ants, that are responsible for a painful bite that usually occurs after someone has stepped on a nest. Cold water or ice on the area along with such antihistamines as Benadryl, will help the stinging sensation. Certain large black ants can also bite but are usually not found in this country.

Only 2 spiders in this country should be avoided:

Black widow, notable for an hourglass orange imprint on the abdomen, is responsible for a very painful bite that can cause muscle spasm notably in the abdomen- usually not deadly but very painful. The other spider of note is the brown recluse spider which although looking very benign to the naked eye yields a very painful and tissue destroying toxin that can cause problems over the next several weeks. Ideally, the best treatment is avoidance as is true of everything discussed prior to this point.

Snake bites

also tend to occur when a human being inadvertently steps on or disturbs the animal. Although most snake bites are non-venomous in this country all bites can be painful and if you plan to spend any prolonged time outdoors (camping etc.) It would be well worth your while to study up on types of snakes and animals indigenous to the area and be prepared for a plan of action if an incident occurs. In general, an imprint consisting of two rows of teeth are usually from a non-venomous snake while 2 prominent puncture wounds are produced by a fanged snake usually producing a toxin of some kind. These bites tend to be very painful from the onset and only get worse with time. Other side effects can be very nasty and at times life-threatening. This person needs medical attention as promptly as possible.

Can a Toothbrush Make You (or Your Family) Sick?

Last updated on November 26th, 2023 at 07:46 pm

Toothbrushes should be clean: After all, their whole purpose is to scrub all the germs out of your mouth. But as it turns out, a dirty toothbrush could make you sick.

“Bathrooms are moist and steamy: the conditions that bacteria love,” says Carol Wooden, a dental surgeon and spokesperson for the Academy of General Dentistry. Research from the University of Birmingham School of Dentistry in the United Kingdom found as many as 1.2 million bacteria on a single toothbrush, while a recent study in the New York State Dental Journal that examined used toothbrushes discovered that 70 percent were heavily contaminated with different microorganisms.

 

The Filthy 5

These are five of the nastiest germs scientists have found hanging out on a toothbrush:

1. Flu: Influenza causes fever, chills, coughing and achiness.
2. Staph: Staphylococcus aureus is responsible for common skin infections (such as boils and styes) and can be more problematic if it enters your bloodstream.
3. E. coli: Certain strains of these fecal bacteria can cause diarrhea and abdominal cramps.
4. Yeast: Candida albicans (the fungus that causes yeast infections) was found on 70 percent of toothbrushes examined in a recent study from the University of Adelaide in Australia.
5. Strep: Some kinds of streptococci bacteria lead to tooth decay; others (you guessed it) cause strep throat.

Healthy Toothbrush Tips

Fortunately, you probably don’t need to toss your toothbrush just yet. Even though certain germs have been identified on toothbrushes, that doesn’t mean you’ll catch something simply from polishing your pearly whites, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“As long as you practice proper hygiene habits, it’s unlikely that bacteria on your toothbrush will make you sick,” says Dr. Neil Schachter, medical director of the respiratory care department at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City and author of The Good Doctor’s Guide to Colds and Flu. Follow these four rules to stay healthy:

1. Swap your brush. Replace your toothbrush (or the changeable head if you use an electric one) every three months, whenever you have a cold or the flu, or when the bristles look worn, suggests Wooden.

2. Flush carefully. Microorganisms go airborne when you flush the toilet — and they can land on your toothbrush. Keep your brush as far from the loo as possible and always close the lid before flushing.

3. Keep it to yourself. “Sharing toothbrushes can spread bacteria and viruses,” says Schachter. Even storing your toothbrush too close to someone else’s is unwise because bacteria can jump from one brush to another.

4. Wash away germs. Since bacteria from your mouth are transferred to your toothbrush every time you brush, you should always rinse your brush thoroughly afterward. “My main health concern is that small amounts of food can remain in the bristles, and if they’re not removed, they can spoil and cause gastrointestinal problems,” says Schachter. “It’s best to rinse your toothbrush in hot water after each use.” Want something stronger than water? Try dunking your brush in hydrogen peroxide or mouthwash, rinsing it with water and letting it air-dry, says Wooden.

Summer Hazards: Part I – Kids, Watch Out for the Sun

Last updated on November 26th, 2023 at 07:47 pm

The heat of summer has arrived, and it is a good time to present some safety topics related to living in a warm environment.

Let’s discuss the advantage of remaining well hydrated during the time of the year when fluid loss through activities can cause significant problems. Some experts believe that everyone should drink 1 oz of fluid for every 2 pounds of body weight per day. Admittedly that is a large amount of fluids but our bodies are more than half water and the millions of chemical reactions that are ongoing in our bodies every minute of every day require water, among other elements to keep going. In hot and humid weather, the elements work against us to keep that fluid reserve “topped off”. Exercising during this kind of weather exacerbates the potential for water loss and subsequent poor regulation of body temperature. It is this poor regulation of body temperature that can lead to the various forms of disease after heat exposure, ranging from mild to life-threatening. So, stay very well hydrated during the summer months and stay alert to the problems that can arise with exercise and poor fluid intake.

Everyone likes the appearance of tan skin and unfortunately, the source of that sought-after appearance is the sun. A certain amount of sunlight is a very good thing and in fact, a lack of sunlight over time can lead to such problems as vitamin D deficiency and poor control of calcium metabolism and regulation. The downside of this exposure is that the UVA and UVB rays given off by the sun and absorption of those rays through your skin can damage the skin leading to lack of elasticity and signs of early aging. Far worse than this effect is the tendency to alter the genetic characteristics of skin cells that can lead to cancer of the skin, especially the most severe form, melanoma, which can be fatal.

Fortunately, there are things that can be done to minimize the effects of exposure to the sun.

• Try to avoid exposure to bright sun between the hours of 10 AM and 3 PM when the sun’s rays are most direct and therefore stronger.
• Make use of the various sunblocks on the market. These sunblocks are usually designated by an SPF number that attempts to give us, the consumers some way of comparing them
• Regardless of the SPF number, the sunblock needs to be applied and reapplied every couple of hours in order to give the protection it promises. The higher the number gives you some idea as to how often it needs to be reapplied. The higher the number, theoretically the less often it needs to be applied.
• Make it a rule of thumb to reapply all sunblock at least every hour or two, and, if your skin gets wet, it may need to be applied more often.

My next post will deal with other summer hazards; insect bites, poison ivy, and miscellaneous others.

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