New Research into the Impact of Digital Media on Homework

Last updated on November 14th, 2016 at 11:38 am

How does the amount of time spent on digital media affect a child’s well being and development, including the ability to complete their homework? New research provides additional insight into this question.

THE PROBLEM:  In today’s ever-changing world of technology, how does a parent deal with the pressures of time constraints?  When all around you, people are no longer communicating with each other without some kind of digital screen in front of them, how do you make a decision about how much digital media is okay for your child? When does it become too much, so that it interferes with the other facets of a child’s healthy emotional and mental development?

THE STUDY:  That was the question that pediatricians from Brown University School of Public Health sought an answer to when they analyzed data on media use and homework habits of 64,000 children aged 6-17 from the 2011-2012 National Survey of Children’s Health. This survey, which uses parental and caregiver reports of their children’s activities, is sponsored by the federal Maternal and Child Health Bureau and completed every few years by a group at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The researchers presented an abstract of the study, “Digital Media Exposure in School-Aged Children Decreases the Frequency of Homework”, at the American Academy of Pediatrics National Convention in October.

Overall findings were specific and abundantly clear:  “Children who spent four to six hours on digital media had 49 percent lower odds of always or usually finishing their homework than those with less than 2 hours per day.” Even 2 or 3 hours a day resulted in a significant negative impact on homework completion.

Note: “Digital media” included:  TV, computers, tablets and smartphones, and the research separated out time spent on school work projects.

Facts:  Percentage of digital media exposure of the study group.

• 31% were exposed to less than two hours per day.
• 36% were exposed to two to four hours per day.
• 17% were exposed to four to six hours per day
• 17% were exposed six or more hours per day

THE RESULTS:  The effects of digital media exposure on homework completion by children, when compared to children with less than two hours of usage per day:

• Two to four hours of media usage: children had 23% lower odds of completion.
• Four to six hours of media usage: 49% lower odds of always or usually finishing their homework.
• Six or more hours of media usage: 63% lower odds of completion.
• For every additional two hours of any digital media usage, there was significant decrease in the probability of always or usually completing homework.

Other negative side effects of over-exposure to digital media and the ability for children to flourish, surfaced in the lack of

• Caring about performing well in school
• Completing tasks started
• Interest in learning new things
• Staying calm in the face of challenges

“Parents should consider these combined effects when setting limits on digital media devices.” according to Stephanie Ruest, MD, FAAP, an author of the study.

Note: The statistics remained the same regardless of child’s age, sex or family income level.

MY THOUGHTS:  As a Grandmother of five grandchildren between the ages of eleven and fifteen, I have certainly had the opportunity to observe the problem many times over – and from my perspective, the bottom line is clear.  Parents need to pay attention to this study.

They need to make the adjustments to their parenting by not following a “Do as I say, not as I do!” mentality.  The study quite clearly answers the question:  Yes, there will be damage to children from long-time exposure to digital media.  The more the exposure, the more the damage there will be.  It WILL have a negative effect on their ability to complete their homework and other projects, get a good night’s sleep and to remain calm in the face of a crisis.  The parents are the examples.  Will they be willing to make the changes in their own and their family’s lives to be able to nurture stable, responsible, well-adjusted children by making the harder, more adversarial choice to limit their child’s usage of digital media?

Reference

The abstract was presented by co-author Max Rubinstein, MD., a copy of which can be obtained from the AAP Department of Public Affairs at:  commun@aap.org.  Senior author Annie Gjelsvik, PhD, can be contacted at Annie_Gjelsvik@Brown.edu.

Click here for a link to an AAP article on this study.

Supporting Friends or Relatives with Eating Disorders

Last updated on November 7th, 2016 at 02:00 am

Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US readers.

Resources in the US:

• National Eating Disorders Association
• Eating Disorder Hope

 

6 Ways to Help Ease Your “Clingy” Child’s Anxiety

Last updated on May 28th, 2017 at 12:04 am

Excessive clinginess is a common phase in a child’s early years. It usually starts around 8 or 9 months, peaks at 18 months, and then usually becomes less and less intense, ending around 2 years of age. It is also common around preschool age (the first separation from home) but sometimes is even present in young adolescents in certain anxiety-provoking situations. Though common, it still can be quite unsettling for a parent.

Each child handles stress differently, so the causes of clinginess will be different for each child. A parent’s job is to play detective and figure out what’s causing clinginess. Typical causes include:

• Unsettling or traumatic experience: Bullying, hospitalization, fear of failure, death or illness of a parent, divorce, natural disaster, attachment gone awry
• Sudden transition: Moving, arrival of a new sibling
• A distressing separation: Long separations from a parent, threats of abandonment (“I will leave you if you don’t come along.”)
• Temperament: Some kids are more like tumbleweeds and roll with the punches; others are like orchids, more sensitive, less adaptable and more tightly strung. Twenty percent of 4-month-olds have a biological “nudge” in the direction of increased fearfulness and are a slower-to-warm child.

Typically a younger child will cling more towards their primary caregiver, which is normally mom, and can be quite unsettling for the other parent – usually dad. It’s why it is helpful to understand child development and know that such behavior is normal and will pass.

Parents have to know that research confirms biology is not destiny. Jerome Kagan’s famous Yale studies* with over-anxious kids discovered that when their parents encouraged their kids to spend time with peers and work through their fears, only one-third of the total number observed still showed timid behavior as they entered adulthood.

Here are a few parenting practices that help make goodbyes less stressful:

• Find parental substitutes. Find people she trusts–a babysitter, relative, teacher and friends who know your child’s quirks, routines and likes and dislikes. Gradually stretch separation times and slowly broaden your child’s “inner security circle.”
• Prepare for separations. Studies at Children’s Hospital found that kids whose parents prepared them for a separation were able to leave their parent far easier and protested far less than those not prepared. So drive by the birthday party in advance, go meet the new teacher before the first school day, take an online tour of the school before the move.
• Teach how to “talk to the worry.” Help your child name the feeling, “I’m scared,” then teach her how to talk back to the fear so she is in charge of the worry and not the other way around. The trick is to have her practice telling herself she’ll be okay to build confidence: “Go away worry, leave me alone. Mommy will come back.”
• Rehearse social problems. Set up pretend scenarios and role-play specific social problems, like how to meet a new friend or what to say if a stranger approaches.
• Create “goodbye” rituals. Create a special kiss, or provide a special pebble or keychain to put in her pocket and explain that when she touches it it means you’re thinking of her.
• Be cool, consistent and leave. A kid’s anxiety increases if you make too big of a deal about leaving or draw it out. So stay calm and show confidence in your child. Reassure her that you’ll be back. Promise to return at the stated time. Give her a watch marked with the time you’ll return. Then do so and remind your child that you did. The key is to establish a consistent pattern of goodbyes that build your child’s confidence so she realizes she can make it through the time apart. 

There are three things parents sometimes do that will actually increase clinginess in a child:

1. Parental anxiety. Parental anxiety feeds into your child, so curb your anxiety and watch how you react. Kids can catch our fears.
2. Unrealistic expectations. Too high of expectations can cause a child to believe that her efforts are never good enough and avoid the situation.
3. Overprotection and too much reassurance. Always rescuing or being overprotective robs a child of confidence. The key is to find the balance between pushing and protecting.

Excessive clinginess may be a sign of separation anxiety disorder or another condition, so when in doubt, always consult with a trained mental health professional. As always, trust your instincts. If you’re concerned, get help for your child and don’t wait.

Keep in mind that the goal here is for our kids to learn to cope with life without us, however long it takes.

*Jerome Kagan studies: D. Goleman, Social Intelligence, p. 160.

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Dr Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, is one of the most comprehensive parenting book for kids 3 to 13. This down-to-earth guide offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and much more. Each of the 101 challenging parenting issues includes specific step-by-step solutions and practical advice that is age appropriate based on the latest research . The Big Book of Parenting Solutions is available at amazon.com

Suffering Teen Behavior Issues? You’re Not Alone

Last updated on October 12th, 2016 at 11:26 am

Do you have a young teen who seems to be going off the rails? Like run-ins with the police, getting suspended from school, caught sneaking a beer from the fridge, disappearing overnight, failing an important class after years of mostly “A”s, taking a family car joy-riding without permission. These are all things that friends of mine – and I – are experiencing with our young teen boys right now. I won’t say which kid is guilty of which infraction, in order to protect the…. well, you get the idea.

It’s really hard to know what to do in these situations. There aren’t the same “what to expect when” bibles for teens like there are for babies and little kids. I definitely don’t have all the answers – but I will give some of the things my friends and I are learning on this journey.

First Things First

A friend of mine who is a child psychologist often tells me the following, which I repeat to myself regularly like a mantra: every kid is different and they don’t come with an owner’s manual.

The point of this comment is that we shouldn’t view the behavior issues our kids are having as our fault. We could still be – are – good parents, and our own personal experience of going through childhood and adolescence may not have prepared us for managing the unique child we ended up with.

It’s also important to remember that kids are not just smaller-sized adults. Both their bodies and their brains are still developing – and one of the last regions of the brain to fully develop is the one which oversees decision making and impulse control.

Checking for Underlying Issues

While teen rebellion and experimentation is a fact of life, a change in behavior could be a sign of a problem your child is dealing with. It’s important to try to talk with them to see if something has happened or is bothering them. Getting to the root cause is more effective than just focusing on the behavior issues.

But teen behavior problems could also be due to mental or physical health concerns such as depression, attention and impulse control issues, or other conditions. Getting some professional help can be useful – both for identifying underlying factors and helping your child and family cope. One of the steps they may take are to have teachers complete assessments of your teen’s behavior and temperament to provide additional insight into the situation.

Helping Your Child

Kids – including teens – have a hard time weighing the potential consequences of their actions, to a large part due to their continuing brain development. If you are dealing with normal teen behavior or rebellion, then it can help to concentrate on setting age appropriate rules with firm and consistent consequences. Now, this is one I struggle with…. As much as I try to set rules, my son constantly argues and negotiates – and I have a hard time identifying consequences that work. An article I read recently that I found helpful is at WebMD. They suggest writing out the key rules and agreeing the consequences with your teen(s) – and posting the list somewhere central in the house.

Another thing I’m trying is incentives rather than consequences – something I also picked up from a psychologist. We are having trouble with late assignments at school, so I asked my son what might be a motivating incentive for no “tardy” homework over the next 2-3 weeks. I thought he’d want money or a video game – but he said he’d like to have a family dinner out at a favorite restaurant. That was kind of nice to hear!

Teens are also very poor at judging risk. They often think “it won’t happen to me” when they participate in dangerous acts or risky social behaviors. One thing we’ve seen recently – and tried ourselves – is how to make risk and consequences seem more likely and feel more real.  For example, a friend of our son was recently suspended for breaking school rules. He didn’t think he would get caught….but someone got a picture of him in the act. We talked to our son about this – and how easy it was for someone to get a record of the wrongdoing. We pointed out how lucky he was that no one posted the photo online – which might have made his indiscretion last a lifetime.

In another example, a colleague at work was having problems with his son not balancing school work with his varsity sport. In what I consider to be a sneaky but brilliant stroke of genius, he told the teen he had to drop the sport and made him write an apology letter to his coach. Apparently the boy was beside himself that night – but in the morning, his father told him he could continue on the team if he made a stronger commitment to his academics. He also said to pin the note above the boy’s desk as an incentive for studying – to remind him of how he felt having to drop out of the team.

Helping Yourself

The last thing I would say is that parents also have to look after themselves. One of my friends at work had a really tough time with a wayward son and didn’t realize how much impact it was having on her and her husband until she pretty much had to take a leave from work due to the stress.

If you feel overwhelmed with the situation or find yourself losing your cool too often with your teen, yelling – or crying – and possibly having issues within your marriage as well, you might want to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. And getting time for yourself – for sports, hobbies, meditation, anything you enjoy – is critical. It’s tough helping our kids when we can’t operate from a position of strength with our own health.

Information for Your Teen about Abuse in Relationships

Last updated on September 19th, 2016 at 06:28 pm

Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US readers.

U.S. Resources for Teen Relationship / Domestic Abuse:

• Love is Respect.org – Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 or text “loveis” to 22522
• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1−800−799−SAFE(7233)

 

A Child’s Temperament Is Not Destiny: Parenting Matters

Last updated on June 22nd, 2016 at 11:03 am

There was a great article I read recently written by a pediatrician who described each child as “a different assignment.” No truer words have been spoken by someone who deals with children every day. Within the range of normal children’s development, there is a huge variation in kids’ temperaments, personalities, and sensitivities. Do you ever wonder how your little “assignment” will turn out as an adult? Do you worry that his/her difficult temperament must be a sign of hard times ahead?

Luckily research has examined some of these questions and the results fall on the side of parents.

A child’s temperament does matter, but parenting also matters a lot.

Researchers from Indiana University wanted to look at how babies with different temperaments (e.g., difficult, easy) ended up doing socially and academically by the time they reached first grade and what, if any, role parenting played in this process. Previously, some people had thought that a baby with a difficult temperament would have more difficulty adjusting to school later in life.

These researchers studied 1,364 children from birth to first grade, along with their parents. The children were given a temperamental classification (e.g., difficult, easy) at 6 months of age. Mothers’ parenting style was observed several times over the course of the study with areas such as warmth and age-appropriate control being examined. Lastly, children’s adjustment to first grade was considered in areas such as academic competence and social skills.

The findings were very enlightening: children who were labeled as having a difficult temperament as infants had as good as or better grades and social skills in first grade as children not labeled as difficult if their mothers provided good parenting. In other words, parenting matters! This is probably not a huge surprise to many people, but it’s interesting to see the research to back it up. Not surprisingly, children with difficult temperaments who received less-than-optimal parenting fared worse in first grade than other children.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the study is the fact that researchers believe that children with difficult temperaments are more sensitive to both positive and negative parenting.

That is, they were more likely (than children with non-difficult temperaments) to adjust poorly to first grade if they experienced negative parenting, but they were also more likely to perform well in first grade if they received excellent parenting. Although this is just one study, it makes a lot of sense. Children with difficult temperaments are thought to be extra sensitive to the external environment and find it harder to regulate themselves. Scientists are learning to understand the difference between babies with varying degrees of nervous system sensitivity.

Researchers believe this is one piece in understanding how some kids can experience extreme challenges such as parental loss or poverty and still thrive. Within a context of responsive caregiving, even temperamentally sensitive children can be resilient in the face of challenges, even perhaps more so than those with an “easy” temperament.

This research sends an optimistic message to parents. What you do really matters! Children with more sensitive temperament may strain your parenting muscles but the “payoff” is higher too. If your child has a difficult temperament, approaching him/her with sensitivity and warmth can make a huge difference.

Source: Stright, A. D., Gallagher, K. C., & Kelley, K. (2008). Infant temperament moderates relations between maternal parenting in early childhood and children’s adjustment in first grade. Child Development, 79, 186-200.

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