Why Does Your Child Bite …And What Can You Do?
Last updated on August 3rd, 2025 at 12:25 pm
While it’s shocking and probably embarrassing when your child bites, it’s not unusual behavior for young kids. When children are overcome with feelings such as anger, fear, frustration or disappointment, for example, because another child has possession of a toy they want, they don’t have the language to express it.
IN A NUTSHELL: 5 of the 10 reasons in Bloom – WHY KIDS BITE.
- They do not have the language, words or ability to express what they need to say.
- They are frustrated, upset or irritated, and biting seems to be the quickest way for them to communicate this.
- The child is overwhelmed by sensory input when several other children are present.
- Even though the child “knows” biting hurts on a cognitive level, he may not have developed the emotional maturity to control this urge when frustrated.
- At a young age, biting is normal and needs to be redirected.
YOU HELP THE CHILD… by stating how he might feel and providing him with the solutions (new words, thoughts and behaviors) the child cannot find on his own. It’s important to help the child figure out, what thought, feeling or perception caused their escalation because awareness provides the opportunity to make a different choice next time.
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Written for real parents with anxious, angry and over-the-top kids, Bloom is a brain-based approach to parenting all children. Taking its lead from neuroscience and best practices in early childhood mental health, it offers parents, teachers and care providers the words, thoughts and actions to raise calm, confident children, while reducing the need for consequences and punishment. The first book of its kind, it provides pages full of printable mantras you can carry with you, hang on your fridge or use in your classroom to raise emotionally competent kids. Stop second-guessing the way you handle misbehaviors, and learn why they occur in the first place. Bloom is available at amazon.com
Preventing Wandering in Children with Autism
Last updated on July 14th, 2025 at 12:22 pm
The search for 9 year-old Mikaela Lynch ended in tragedy when her body was found in a creek near her family’s vacation home in Northern California. Mikaela had autism and tended to wander off. She loved water but was unable to swim.
According to The National Autism Association, in cases of children with autism who died after wandering off, accidental drowning was the cause of death for 71%, followed by traffic injuries at 18%
Any child may wander off, but The Interactive Autism Network’s 2011 study of more than 800 families, showed that children with autism were four times more likely to wander (or elope) from a safe setting than their siblings who were unaffected by autism.
And while the reasons for wandering tended to vary, AWAARE has downloadable resources available to help keep all children safe. Download their Autism & Wandering brochure here. Autism Speaks also has links to resources. You can also find a wonderful PBS video called “Understanding Autism” I’ve included here.
Six Tips to Prevent Wandering and Related Tragedies (from AWAARE: Autism Wandering Awareness Alerts Response Education Coalition)
Secure your home
- Consider a locating device
- Consider an ID bracelet
- Teach your child to swim
- Alert your neighbors
- Alert first responders
We relied on our home security system to alert us to a door that had opened in our house. We also have a small alarm that attaches to our sliding glass door, which my husband found in a pool supply store. While some preventive techniques are simple and relatively inexpensive, some people say that insurance should pay for other methods to keep these children safe.
What do you think? Should there be laws about this issue? How do you prevent wandering in your family?
Avoiding Clickbait: 6 Ways to Protect Your Family
Last updated on July 6th, 2025 at 03:15 pm
Have you ever followed a link and been surprised by what you saw or regretted doing it? Have your kids? If so, ask yourself this question: “Do you your kids share any devices with any other members of your family?”
That’s an important question because of the potential dangers associated with Clickbait. In addition to having family members fighting over devices because of how much time can be lost to being sucked down a rabbit hole, there are more serious consequences that can happen, as you will see.
Clickbait is any teaser to a link meant to entice people to follow the link. The reasons behind the motivation for clickbait typically:
- To drive traffic to a website, usually to sell advertising based on traffic volume or click rates.
- To create phishing attacks, spread malicious files, or steal confidential information.
- To influence people’s opinion based on biased “reporting” that is presented as being fair.
- To cause users, mainly young children, to spend money that their parents may not even realize is happening.
The dangers involved with clicking on dangerous links include spreading misinformation, eroding trust in online content, wasting a person’s time, causing emotional damage to readers, introducing viruses/malware, and more! For these reasons, everyone should learn the telltale signs of Clickbait and know how to avoid it before it’s too late.
Look For the Signs
Clickbait often uses emotional triggers, especially fear, excitement, or humor to get the reader’s attention. Once hooked, readers are often taken down a rabbit hole that they’d rather avoid. To lure in unsuspecting readers, Clickbait often uses over-the-top headlines that include phrases such as:
- “Only 30% Can Pass this Quiz. Can You?”
- “This Will Blow Your Mind!”
- “10 Ways to XXXXX and You Won’t Believe the Last One!”
- “What this Mayor Announced During her Last Town Meeting Will Leave You Speechless.”
Other possible telltale signs of Clickbait are articles with a misleading thumbnail/preview image, using frequent CAPS in the headlines, asking questions in the headline instead of using declaratives, and having the reader click on a <NEXT> or <MORE> button to continue reading the story.
Parents need to be particularly concerned with Clickbait that is specifically designed to target their children. Unlike “traditional” Clickbait, kids will likely come across it where parents are least likely to expect it – where their kids are playing games. In the case of games, pop-up ads called Loot Boxes can easily lure kids to places where their parents won’t want them to go, where they will be able to get a small value freebie for the game, but where the real goal is to get the child to purchase an expensive item that will give them an advantage in the game. For this reason, never have your phone, tablet or other device automatically linked to your credit card or bank account.
Another problem that can occur with Clickbait is ransomware. Ransomware is a specific type of malware that blocks a user out from using their computer and only lets them back in after they pay a fee (ransom). If ransomware is involved, where a virus is downloaded and only erased (hopefully) after the device owner pays a fee to the hacker, the costs could literally be in the millions of dollars. For more information on Ransomware, watch this video from IBM.
Problems with Clickbait include both ethical and legal issues. The ethical issues about wasting people’s time following links that provide no real value or answers are troubling enough. The legal issue in causing damage to someone’s devices can cost people hundreds or more in repair costs. In some cases, data such as work, or school related information may be irrevocably lost.
An informed reader/user is the best the best defense against getting caught by Clickbait. To avoid being caught by disreputable websites that may carry malware, here are some things that students can do:
1. Look for Verified Sites
Google vets millions of websites and provides the “Google Guaranteed Badge”, a green checkmark, to show which sites should be safe to use. Typically, only those sites that have received a badge will appear at the top of the search results, but on more abstract topics, it is possible that sites that have not earned the badge will appear at the top of search results.
2. Don’t take the Bait
Avoid headlines that sound outlandish. Legitimate websites rarely use headlines with outlandish wording. The most likely exception to this is when news organizations post opinions or editorials online, as they are typically not vetted in the same way as news articles.
3. Protect Your Privacy
Never give out your personal information to untrusted sources, including email addresses. Once on email lists, people may become acclimated to the emails and begin to trust them when they shouldn’t. To get removed from unwanted email lists, most legitimate sources have an unsubscribe feature. If that’s not an option, the email address should be blocked. To get removed from unwanted email lists, read this article by PC Magazine.
4. Protect Your Devices
Install anti-virus software to help prevent malware and identify risky sites. Keep in mind that there is often a lag time from when a new malware source goes live until anti-viral software can identify it and prevent it from attacking a device.
5. Use Google Scholar
Whenever possible, students should use Google Scholar for school assignments. The sites returned by Google Scholar have already been vetted for accuracy and reliability, which precludes the possibility for Clickbait. It may eliminate some potentially good sources, but students can rest assured that the sites it does provide to them will be acceptable for schoolwork.
6. Do Not Click on Links from Unknown Sources
Scammers are very good at sending emails that appear to come from legitimate sources. Everyone should read the email address carefully to make sure that it’s authentic. They may transpose letters that look like a legitimate source at a glance or use a link with an existing word that looks like an official website but is a fake. Scammers often send messages through Facebook Messenger saying that your account is going to be suspended and should be ignored.
Similarly, avoid clicking on links sent by friends, as they may have been tricked, so just because it came from someone a person knows (and trusts) doesn’t mean that it’s safe.
Last, by moving the mouse over a link, look for the preview of where it will take someone without actually clicking on the link. In my previous article for Pediatric Safety, it appears that there are three links that will all take the user to the Google home page.
However, if a user moves the mouse over the three links but does not click on the link, users can see where the link will actually go by looking at the preview link. This is typically in the lower left corner of the screen. As the mouse is moved over the three versions of the Google link, notice the true destination of the three versions.
Keep in mind that this is not a feature to cellphones, which makes it much easier to trick people to using clickbait to trap themselves with a virus.
Takeaways
At its best, Clickbait wastes people’s time, providing little if anything in return. At its worst, it can literally cause millions of dollars in damages and related costs. The risks associated with Clickbait grow much faster on shared devices, where the mistake made by one person can impact the entire family, especially on a shared network. Being able to recognize potential Clickbait is the first step to avoiding it. As the saying goes, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”
With some awareness of what’s involved, families can avoid Clickbait or at least minimize the risks. Learning about them as you are now is a good beginning.
Do toddlers really need to floss their teeth?
Last updated on July 6th, 2025 at 03:15 pm
Your 1-year-old may seem a little young for flossing, but cavities don’t know how old teeth are! Teeth can get cavities as soon as they erupt into the mouth. If your toddler’s teeth are touching one another, food and plaque can get stuck between them, and cavities can form.
The importance of flossing is one of the reasons that the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry recommends taking your child for his first dental appointment at age 1. At this visit, the dentist can help determine if your child’s teeth are ready to be flossed, and she’ll show you how to properly brush and floss them. (This will be your job for a long time; most children aren’t ready to brush and floss on their own until they are 8 or 10 years old.)
Nighttime brushing and flossing are the most important, so make sure you do it every night before bed. And remember: Nothing to eat or drink except plain water after you’re finished!
Parenting That Fabulous Middle Child
Last updated on April 14th, 2025 at 06:35 pm
Is the “Middle Kid Syndrome” really a problem? Not if we apply the research.
Have more than two kids? Then I’m betting you’ve heard a few of these:
“It’s like I’m stuck in the middle.”
“But I don’t want to do things like my sister.”
“I want my own stuff not these hand me downs.”
“My coach always asks why I can’t play like my brother.”
As soon as my third son was born I became very aware of the so-called “Middle Kid Syndrome.” It wasn’t hard…everyone warned me with those: “Watch out …you have a middle one now.” So I read all those birth order books and tuned into those experts warning us of the dangers of being “sandwiched in between.” I quickly learned to beware: middle kids get a bad rap. And research even proves it.
A longitudinal study from Norway involving hundreds of men found that their elder sibling is smarter by an average of 3 points IQ which can be quite significant on those SATs.
But the lead had nothing to do with genetics!
It turns out if the first born dies, the second sib takes over that IQ lead! So the reason for that IQ boost? We talk to our oldest child more, which gives them a huge edge in language development.
Research also shows (Shhhhh!) that the first born is more favored by their parents and the middle kid realizes that favoritism.
Then there’s the problem of teachers and coaches comparing the middle child unfairly to their older sibling (“Your older brother read when he was three.” “Your sister could sing in tune.”).
What’s more, they have to endure that icky label: “Oh, you’re the ‘middle’ kid.” And that isn’t enough this is the kid that gets far too many hand-me-downs. If we’re not careful this glorious child can get lost in the shuffle of their own families.
Hidden Benefits of Being “Stuck in the middle!”
It seems these middle children also learn valuable skills and perspective because of their unique position in the family. (We just may have to remind them that there are benefits, but there are a few). Studies find these benefits to being stuck in the middle that may be overlooked:
- Middle kids are generally more creative and flexible because they are trying to be different from their elder and younger sibling.
- They are also often more relaxed, independent, diplomatic, resourceful, as well as more balanced and generous than their other siblings.
- They can make great negotiators and have great people skills if we let them forge their own way.
7 Common “Middle Kid” Problems & Solutions
When the Today show asked me to report about the supposed “Middle Kid Syndrome,” I jumped at the opportunity. I reviewed all the research on middle children, but also asked a number of “ middle” moms and kids (including my own) for their take on the issue. And chime in they did! Here are seven common problems that both researchers warn us of and middle kids complain about from being sandwiched in between and parenting solutions for each hot-button issue.
No. 1. Feel less favored
Not only do middle kids pick up on which sibling is the parental favorite, but researchers (after viewing videos of parent-child interaction) confirm it.
Sixty-five percent of mothers and 70 percent of dads exhibited a preference for one child–in most cases, the older one.
The middle kid pays the price. So, though we may think we treat our kids equally, research shows otherwise.
Be honest. Do your eyes light up with the same intensity for each of your children? That’s your test.
No. 2. Overlooked and skimped on attention
The first child is always the big deal. The last is “our baby.” The poor middle kid feels overlooked. As a result research says they can become rebellious or our little “people pleasers” to make up for what they feel is the missed attention.
- Make a big deal over their trophy (even if the eldest has one, too).
- Jump for joy that you get to go to the Christmas Pageant (again!)
- Make special time so your middle kid doesn’t feel she’s overlooked. Each child deserves his own special “firsts.”
- Keep that baby book open and ready to jot down those “firsts.”
No. 3. Hate to be compared
One of the biggest complaints of middle children is that they say they are always compared to their older sibling. “Your older brother could do that when he was three.” “Your sister liked piano.”
- No fair! Tell Aunt Harriet to bite her tongue.
- Your cardinal parenting rule is: Never compare.
No. 4. Hide true feelings
Middle kids learn to not reveal their feelings. After all, the elder sibling is usually more verbal and gets our ears. So the second child often keeps things to himself. So….
- Draw your middle one out.
- Keep the communication open.
- Ask how he’s feeling.
- And make the older one listen to the middle child’s ideas.
No. 5. Tired of playing referee
This breed is most often to be the diplomat in the family. They smooth things over and tote the family peace pipe because they hate conflicts and anger. They become fabulous little negotiators and grow up to have wonderful people skills.
But right now this kid shouldn’t have to take on the role of United Nations in his own home.
- Watch your middle child’s inclination to always smooth things over, and give in to the elder or younger siblings just to keep the peace. They can be taken advantage of and causes resentment as well as just not being fair.
No. 6. Always get the hand-me-downs!
- Okay, every once in a while is fine, but watch those: “But the coat is perfectly fine.” Or: “Your sister never played with the doll. It’s brand new.”
No. 7. Forced to follow siblings footsteps
- Let your middle kid march to his own drum and not have to hang onto the coat tails of an older sibling. Tap into your middle’s child true potential and emphasize each child’s unique strengths and true potential. These kids are usually more creative and individualistic. Draw out their natural nature.
- Sure, how our kids turn out does have a lot to do with genetics and pre-disposed temperament. But it also has to do with how they are treated by us as well as the experiences they have with their siblings. Let’s tune in a little closer to this now – there are peacekeepers with great people skills who are not afraid to march to their own drum.
P.S. As a mom of a middle kid let me assure you, they turn out not only fine, but plain wonderful.
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Dr Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, is one of the most comprehensive parenting book for kids 3 to 13. This down-to-earth guide offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and much more. Each of the 101 challenging parenting issues includes specific step-by-step solutions and practical advice that is age appropriate based on the latest research. The Big Book of Parenting Solutions is available at amazon.com.
Should I Worry that My Tween’s Height Dropped Below Average?
Last updated on April 14th, 2025 at 06:35 pm
By their third or fourth birthday, most children achieve a consistency in their growth status compared to other children. A child who is taller than the others tends to remain that way.
Before puberty, the average child grows 2 to 3 inches and gains 3 to 5 pounds a year. If your child is maintaining that growth rate but his peers are suddenly accelerating in growth, the most probable explanation is that he has a delayed onset of puberty. This can be perfectly normal, since maturation varies from person to person. If that’s the case with your son, he’ll catch up in due time.
If, however, he has stopped growing in height and weight for no apparent reason, you need to talk to your pediatrician to see if a medical condition is affecting his growth.
