How to Cope With First-Year College Stress: Self-Help Tips
Last updated on September 1st, 2017 at 01:53 pm
Starting university can be a stressful experience. How you cope with the stress is the key to whether or not it develops into a health problem.
Stress is a natural feeling, designed to help you cope in challenging situations. In small amounts it’s good, because it pushes you to work hard and do your best, including in exams.
Leaving home to start your studies can involve some stressful changes. These might include moving to a new area, meeting new people and managing on a tight budget.
Signs you might be stressed
The first signs of stress are:
- irritability
- sleep problems
Too much stress can lead to physical and psychological problems, such as:
- anxiety – feelings ranging from uneasiness to severe and paralysing panic
- dry mouth
- churning stomach
- palpitations – pounding heart
- sweating
- shortness of breath
- depression
Things that can help with stress
Short periods of stress are normal, and can often be resolved by something as simple as completing a task – which cuts down your workload – or by talking to others and taking time to relax.
Some of these suggestions might help:
- Work out what it is that’s making you anxious. For example, is it exams, or money or relationship problems? See if you can change your circumstances to ease the pressure you’re under.
- Try to have a more healthy lifestyle. Eat well, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, cut down on alcohol, and spend some time socialising as well as working and studying.
- Try not to worry about the future or compare yourself with others.
- Learn to relax. If you have a panic attack or are in a stressful situation, try to focus on something outside yourself, or switch off by watching TV or chatting to someone.
- Relaxation and breathing exercises may help.
- Try to resolve personal problems by talking to a friend, tutor or someone in your family.
- Read about how to cope with the stress of exams.
For more tips on beating stress, check out these 10 stress busters.
The NHS Choices Moodzone has eight free mental wellbeing podcasts or audio guides that may help you when your mood is low or you’re facing an anxious time in your life.
This anxiety podcast tackles stress that arises around revision time and exams.
Professional help for student stress
Long-term stress and anxiety is difficult to resolve by yourself, and it’s often best for you to seek help.
Don’t struggle alone. Anxiety can seriously affect your academic performance, and that’s not only distressing for you, but means a lot of wasted effort.
Find out more about tackling student mental health issues.
How to Help Your Child Overcome Exam Stress for Good
Last updated on December 12th, 2016 at 03:09 pm
Good planning and a realistic revision (*study) schedule can turn a heavy workload into something manageable. And knowing you have a schedule can help you manage your nerves.
It’s Wise to Revise
It sounds obvious, but revision (*studying) really is the key to exam success. Being fully prepared for your exams is the most effective way to overcome stress and anxiety, and gives you the best chance of getting the best grades you can.
Before you start revising, the amount of work you have to do might seem overwhelming. Many exam timetables require you to study for lots of different subjects at once, and it’s easy to feel daunted.
Deal with this by making a revision (*study) schedule you can stick to. Work out how much you have to do and the time you have to do it in, then break it down into chunks. Allocate yourself a few hours of revision a day, and mix up your subjects so that you don’t get bored.
It’s also important to find a revision style that suits you. Studying alone in a quiet room suits many people, but not everyone likes working in silence. Try playing music quietly in the background, or revising (*studying) with a friend (but don’t let them distract you).
You could customise your notes to make them more personal. Experiment with colour coding, note cards, diagrams or whatever helps you learn your topic.
If you come across something you don’t understand, try to find a new source of information rather than just memorising it, as this won’t help you in your exam. Don’t be afraid to ask your teacher or a friend for help if you need it.
Looking at past exam papers can also be useful, as you can familiarise yourself with the layout and type of questions you’ll be asked. Practise completing the exam paper in the set time limit so you know what you need to do to improve your exam technique.
Rest and Relaxation
Revision (*studying) is an essential part of exam success, but it’s also important that you don’t overdo it. Studying for hours and hours without a break will only make you tired and ruin your concentration, which may make you even more anxious.
Stress is a natural feeling that’s designed to help us cope in difficult situations. In small amounts, it’s good for you because it pushes you to work hard and do your very best.
However, too much stress can cause problems such as headaches and loss of appetite, and can make you bad tempered. Avoid excess stress by taking frequent short breaks while you’re working. A break every 45-60 minutes is about right.
During your breaks, do something relaxing, such as reading a book or going for a short walk. Taking your mind off your work will help you come back to it feeling refreshed. It can also help if you reward yourself after each revision (*study) session. For example, with a long bath or a good DVD.
When you’re not revising (*studying), use your spare time to get away from your books and do something physical. Exercise is good for taking your mind off stress and keeping you positive, and it will help you sleep better.
If you’re still feeling stressed, it’s important to talk to someone you trust, such as a family member, teacher or a friend. Many people find exams difficult to deal with, so don’t be embarrassed to ask for support.
On the Day
It’s natural to be nervous on the day of your exam, but don’t let your nerves take over. Start the day with a good breakfast, and give yourself plenty of time to get to the exam hall. Remember to take everything you need, including pencils, pens and a calculator. A bottle of water and some tissues are also useful.
Once the exam has started, take a few minutes to read the instructions and questions so you know exactly what’s expected of you. Ask an exam supervisor if anything is unclear; they’re there to help you.
Plan how much time you’ll need for each question. Don’t panic if you get stuck on a question, but try to leave yourself enough time at the end to come back to it. Even if you’re really stumped, an educated guess is better than leaving it blank.
When the exam is over, don’t spend too much time going over it in your head or worrying about it. Resist the temptation to compare your answers with those of your friends. If you have more exams to come, focus on the next one instead.
Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US readers.
Stress, School and Perfectionism – A Kid’s Perspective
Last updated on December 18th, 2015 at 11:15 am
A child’s desire to get everything just right may be their downfall. Imagine sitting in front of a blank screened computer, trying to think of the perfect way to start an essay. All the pressure put on kids to succeed, especially in competitive honors classes with teachers that ask for work to be “brilliant, timely and impressive,” can make it hard to get anything done. Kids just get stuck…a lot like writer’s block. Students will tend to worry about making every detail perfect rather than just getting the essay done. It seems the concept of the rough draft has been lost. As a student in Honors Language Arts I have had my fair share of experiences like this.
More recently, I was writing an essay about a novel and I couldn’t think of how to start my essay, which typically is the hardest part. I felt lost, frustrated, stressed, anxious, hopeless, sad. The list goes on and on. I wasn’t satisfied by anything that popped into my mind. Many kids like to jump right into their writing without making an outline, but I think in this case an outline would be very helpful. The key, however, is to create an effective outline. In grade school we are taught that outlines are for laying out the structure of your piece, but when you can’t think of what to say, writing random things that pop into your head and then letting your brain naturally improve upon them is good to get the creative juices flowing. That is the key to good outline writing. And if during your writing process you find a bunch of ideas rushing through your mind that you want to implement later in your essay, write them down.
Many kids don’t do a whole lot of editing, either. They try to get it right immediately without taking the time to make many changes. After you have made your outline and you have some rough inspiration written down on paper, sit down and write something very crude. If you try to do it on the first try rather than making edits you are going to spend a long time trying to get a masterpiece out of thin air. As the philosopher Voltaire said, “The enemy of the good is the perfect”. After all, most teachers give 
rough draft due dates for a reason. After you are done with your rough draft you should spend a lot of time improving on the essay. This is a safe bet for meeting the requirements and turning everything in on time. In fact, I am using this strategy to write this post right now. I have created a great metaphor for this concept – building on Voltaire’s saying: “It’s easier to polish a turd than it is to poop diamonds.” It basically means that it is easier to polish something bad than it is to poop something as hard and pointy as cut diamonds. Please excuse the terminology, but I am a teenage boy.
Of course, this solution doesn’t apply to all cases and the best place to start is to always make sure you understand the problem. Stress can come from many places: parents, teachers, other students…it can even come from the stressed student. As a parent, if you want to help, make sure your child doesn’t put too much pressure on him/herself. Also, take steps to make sure you are not putting too much pressure on them to excel. As a child, I know that the stress of school can negatively affect kids mentally, physically, and emotionally. Your child may not get enough sleep because they’re staying up late to finish or “perfect” their work which can affect growth and development.
Signs to look for that school and stress have your child down:
- They may seem sad or depressed.
- They may not be as confident as usual.
- They may be avoiding explaining how much homework they have or procrastinating.
- They might not be participating in many activities or not taking much interest in a subject that they used to love.
They say “all work and no play makes for a dull person” but where kids are concerned, probably one that’s pretty stressed too, so encourage your child to do more than school work. And if your child is in a bad place the best thing for you to do is to be supportive and positive. Help them as much as possible. But, you know your child best, so do what you think suits them best.
Sleep and Other Tips to Help Your Child Beat Exam Stress
Last updated on August 29th, 2015 at 03:03 pm
Tests and exams, including GCSEs (standardized tests*), can be a challenging part of school life for both children and parents. But there are ways to ease the stress.
1. Watch Out for Stress
Look out for signs of exam stress. Children who experience stress may be irritable, not sleep well, lose interest in food, worry a lot and appear depressed or negative. Headaches and stomach pains can also be stress-related.
Having someone to talk to about their work can help. Support from a parent, tutor or study buddy can help children air their worries and keep things in perspective.
If you feel your child isn’t coping, talk to teachers at your child’s school.
Find out more about stress and how to spot it.
2. Ensure Your Child Eats Well
A balanced diet is vital for your child’s health, and can help them to feel well during exam periods.
Some parents find that too many high-fat, high-sugar and high-caffeine foods and drinks (such as cola, sweets, chocolate, burgers and chips) make their children hyperactive, irritable and moody.
Try out these healthy recipes at home.
3. Sleep Helps Exam Performance
Good sleep will improve thinking and concentration. Most teenagers need between eight and ten hours’ sleep a night. Learn more in How much sleep do children need?
Allow half an hour or so for kids to wind down between studying, watching TV or using a computer and going to bed to help them get a good night’s sleep.
Cramming all night before an exam is usually a bad idea. Sleep will benefit your child far more than hours of panicky last-minute study.
Here are some sleep tips for teenagers.
4. Be Flexible at Exam Time
Family Lives advises parents to be flexible around exam time. When your child is revising (studying*) all day, don’t worry about household jobs that are left undone or untidy bedrooms.
Staying calm yourself can help. Remember, exams don’t last forever.
5. Help Them to Study
Help your child to revise (study*) by making sure they have somewhere comfortable to study. Help them draw up a revision schedule or ask the school for one.
6. Discuss Their Nerves
Remind your child that feeling nervous is normal. Nervousness is a natural reaction to exams.
The key is to put these nerves to positive use. Being reminded of what they do know and the time they have put into study can help them feel confident.
7. Encourage Exercise
Make sure your kids are active. Exercise can help boost energy levels, clear the mind and relieve stress. Walking, cycling, swimming, football and dancing are all effective.
Read 10 fun ways for teen boys to get fit.
Get advice on how girls can get started with dance for fitness.
8. Don’t Add to the Pressure
Support group ChildLine says that many of the children who contact them feel that the greatest pressure at exam time comes from their family.
“Keep things in perspective,” says Rosanne Pearce, a senior supervisor. “Listen to them, give support and avoid criticism.”
Before they go in for a test or exam, be reassuring and positive. Make sure they know that failing isn’t the end of the world, and that if things don’t go well they may be able to take the exam again.
After each exam, encourage your child to talk it through with you. Then move on and focus on the next test, rather than dwelling on things that can’t be changed.
9. Make Time for Treats
When the exams are over, help celebrate with a treat. These can be a real encouragement for the next time they have a test.
Don’t use rewards as bribes. Instead, encourage them to work for their own satisfaction, offering small, frequent treats.
More Information
For more information, read the MIND website page on exam stress.
Editor’s Note: *clarification provided for our US audience.
From www.nhs.uk
High Levels of Stress/Depression with Incoming College Kids
Last updated on August 29th, 2015 at 02:58 pm
The annual snapshot of incoming college freshmen was recently published (“The American Freshman: National Norms Fall 2014” also covered in a New York Times article) and provides yet more data indicating that our teens are feeling high and increasing levels of stress and depression in the face of significant academic expectations and life challenges.
The survey, which has been run for nearly a half-century by an institute at UCLA, covers a wide range of issues and perspectives relevant to recent high school graduates. The most recent publication showed some concerning trends:
- Only 50.7% indicated they had good emotional health – the lowest level ever recorded
- Over a third of respondents (34.6%) “felt overwhelmed” by the many expectations placed on them – academic or otherwise
- Nearly 10% of students reported frequently feeling depressed over the previous year – their senior year in high school – a much higher rate than reported just 5 years ago (6.1%)
- This is a higher rate of depression than seen across the US generally
- Additionally, students with disabilities or chronic diseases – such as ADHD, learning disabilities, diabetes or autoimmune conditions – report much higher rates of rates of depression (15.5% to 22.4%)
Why does this matter? Well, the report further demonstrated that students who had suffered from frequent bouts of depression were less likely to be engaged in school – more of them come late to class or fall asleep during lectures and fewer reported studying or working on projects with classmates – all behaviors that can lead to a negative spiral in school. Furthermore, suicide is the third leading cause of death for college-age students.
However, as a mother of a frequently overwhelmed and stressed-out seventh-grader, the real concern for me is how long have these kids been feeling this way – and what can we do to improve this?? My son often has so much homework that he skimps on sleep and becomes down and moody when under particular pressure. I’ve sometimes taken to forcing him to go to bed and hand assignments in late for easier classes, just to better juggle the workload. But I know the situation is only going to get worse as he advances to higher grades.
What are your concerns about the pressures on our youth – and what strategies are you trying to help address the issue? We’d love to hear from you!
6 Week Parent Check-Up: 4 Areas Not to Miss for School Success
Last updated on May 24th, 2018 at 05:21 pm
Four crucial–and sometimes overlooked–areas that affect learning and how to check them to see how your child is doing. Parenting advice and simple tips I shared on the TODAY show to help your child have a more successful school year
The honeymoon period is over and the school year is in full swing. At this point most parents have a good idea about how their children get along with the teacher and which subjects are hard or easy. But school success is more than just our kids’ opinions about homework, and in our fast-paced lives we can overlook other important areas that affect our children’s learning.
Checking up on those four crucial areas could identify any issues, resolve any problems, and even make the rest of your child’s school year go far smoother. Think of it like your child’s regular doctor check-up, except this one is no cost, doesn’t take as much times, you never have to leave your home and involves your child’s education. There’s no better time than right now to check-up and check-in with your child’s school progress. Here are the four core areas of your child’s education you should assess for school success.
Four-Part Parent Back-to-School Check-Up
Part 1. ACADEMICS: How is your child handling the school load?
Don’t wait to be shocked on that first report card! Now is the time to zero in and find out if your child needs a tutor, a class change, or just needs to hit those books harder.
Grades: Most school’s have a website service parents where parents can review their child’s grades, test scores and absences. Register for that service (it’s free), and then use it at least once a week. And let your child know you’re checking up (you just may see a sudden change in his motivation). If you see a dip in grades or test scores, it’s time for a serious chat with your child. If the problem continues, set up a conference with the teacher to see if this is a learning problem, inappropriate class not at the child’s ability, a tutor is needed or your child needs to study more.
Missing school notes: Being involved in your child’s education is essential, but to do so you have to make sure you’re receiving all school correspondences. Important notes about upcoming conferences, open houses or school projects often end up at the bottom of those backpacks, so now is a great time to have your child to empty his backpack and clean it. If you find missing forms, then set aside “Note Catcher Box” (a basket, tin) in a convenient spot near the front door. Then set a new rule: the minute your kid walks in the door, he opens his backpack and puts any school correspondence in the box. You can check it later, sign it, and then put it back that backpack.
Part 2. SOCIAL: How is your child getting along with others?
Pals play an enormous part of our kids’ self-esteem, and research finds that who our kids befriend can affect their study habits and their overall academic success and feelings of security. While kids don’t need lots of friends they do need at least one loyal buddy. A lack of friends, rejection or bullying makes concentrating on those school assignments a lot harder.
Friend problems: The two places where kids are most likely to be excluded are in the cafeteria or school playground. A quick way to find out if your child has a pal is to ask him to draw a map of the cafeteria or playground, and then mark where he usually sits or plays. Next ask him to mark where the other kids sit or play. Does he have pals? Worry if your child has no friends. If you see a pattern, dig further and then contact the teacher for his or her perspective.
Cyber-bullying: Electronic bullying via internet, cell, text, email or web is escalating. A quick way to find out your child’s online presence is to Google your child’s first and last name and determine how many hits come up. If you see a growing presence it could be a sign of cyber-bullying. Watch especially when your child receives a text or email. If he looks jumpy, worried or covers up the computer, monitor closer. And regardless, now is a great time to review Internet safety rules and change your child’s password.
Bullying: Peer cruelty is a growing problem and usually happens where there is least adult supervision. Hot spots include bathrooms, cafeterias, the corners of the playground, the back of the bus, lockers, and hallways. So ask: “Where are places you or the other kids try to stay away from because you don’t feel as safe?” Is your child avoiding certain spots? Does he run home to use the bathroom? (Forty-three percent of students are afraid to use the school restroom). Heading to fridge famished might be because his lunch money is stolen. If so, develop a safety plan for your child, monitor daily and report your concerns to the school.
Part 3. EMOTIONAL: How is your child handling stress and that activity load?
According to a new poll from the University of Michigan, childhood stress is now a top-5 concern for parents, and 56% of parents believe it’s getting worse. Stress affects our kids’ learning and their ability to concentrate.
Activity overload: A survey published by KidsHealth.org found that 41 percent of children aged nine to thirteen said they feel stressed most or all of the time because they have too much to do. Nearly 80 percent wished they had more free time. Watch out! Overscheduled kids run the risk of stress-related illnesses. Now is the time to sit down with your child and look at her weekly schedule and all those extra activities. Is there one thing that could be cut to free up time and give your child a chance to decompress? Cutting just one thing can make a difference.
Stress: Have you seen a marked change since school began from your child’s “normal” behavior that lasts everyday for at least two weeks. For instance: Is your child more irritable or withdrawn lately? Have trouble concentrating or have more headaches? Is he quicker to frustrate? If so, could it be stress related? Identify your child’s stress triggers. Reduce those triggers that you can (like that scary shows or too difficult of a math class). Watch also conflict at home, which can spill over into kids’ school life. Find ways to de-stress with your kids and help him learn to decompress.
Part 4. PHYSICAL: How is your child’s health?
Don’t overlook your child’s physical health, which is critical to learning and overall school success. Reoccurring headaches or illnesses are often school related.
Sleep deprived: A lack of sleep can have a serious impact on children’s abilities to learn and perform at school. Missing just one hour of sleep can be enough to reduce a child’s cognitive abilities by almost two years the next day. Is your child waking up refreshed and ready to go or are you playing Big Ben to try and get him out of bed. If the later, make sure bedtimes are kept to a routine schedule. Turn off the computer and television at least 30 minutes prior to bedtime. Take away the cell phones during nighttime hours (62% of kids admit they use it after the lights go out and their parents are clueless). Avoid caffeinated sleep stealers like cold medications, chocolate, or energy-drinks.
Skipped breakfasts: Tune into those breakfasts dishes to check what your child is eating –or not eating. A healthy breakfast is important for concentrating and keeping up with the stamina. If mornings are rushed and your kid is missing that crucial first meal, think of healthy simple options that your kids can grab on the run like ready-to-go bottles of orange juice or milk, low-fat yogurt, apples and whole-grain English muffins.
The secret is to identify one thing that may affect your child’s learning success. Then find a simple solution that works for your family and commit to implementing it until you reap positive change. And make sure you get to your child’s school Open House!
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Dr Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, is one of the most comprehensive parenting book for kids 3 to 13. This down-to-earth guide offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and much more. Each of the 101 challenging parenting issues includes specific step-by-step solutions and practical advice that is age appropriate based on the latest research. The Big Book of Parenting Solutions has recently been released and is now available at amazon.com
