Posted by Joe Yeager on July 13, 2026 · Leave a Comment
Last updated on August 9th, 2026 at 04:32 pm
Have your children ever done something that you specifically told them not to do? Did you ever do something that your parents told you not to do when you were a child? The answer to both of those questions is probably yes. That’s why I never recommend that parents give their kids an order about cybersafety that is too restrictive.
Examples of this would be forbidding them from installing a given app or banning them from using a device or app as a punishment for a previous incident. As parents, we need to protect our kids, but the only way to do that completely would be to lock them away in a virtual prison and never allow them access to the Internet. Not exactly a practical solution.
I think it’s fair to say that many parents are concerned about what might happen to their kids when they’re online. We’ve all heard of horrific stories involving cyberbullying, sextortion, posting inappropriate content, etc. The natural reaction is to prohibit, even for a short time, their ability to use technology, often for a long time. I think that’s the worst thing that a parent can do.
The problem is that if something bad does happen to them, the child now has two reasons not to come to their parents for help. They may already fear getting into trouble in the first place for what happened, but whether they do or not, they are sure that they will get into trouble for doing something that their parents expressly forbid them from doing.
If this does happen, the potential for disaster grows exponentially because the chances of them coming to their parents for help go down with each passing second. I’ve seen this happen with people I know.
What Parents Should Do Instead
Instead, parents should concentrate on teaching their children the proper use of technology and the ramifications of using it improperly.
As a backup plan, all children should develop a HELP Network to help them through their online (and offline) problems:
Children should start by Heeding their instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Granted, wisdom takes time, which is something by their very nature, they don’t have a lot of at this point of their life.
Next, they should Establish their inner circle. If a child is too afraid to speak to their parents about something that happens online, they need to have someone in their circle that they can speak to about it. This can be a teacher, pastor, neighbor or an older sibling (who may have gone through something similar already).
Once the inner circle is there, they need to Let someone in that circle know what is happening.
Finally, they need to Protect their friends if they need it. Reaching out to friends in advance or when they see their friends acting out of character, they should offer whatever help they can provide. Even if they can’t help them directly, they can help by letting them know that they’re not alone in this and may be able to direct them to someone in their own HELP Network who can help them as well.
Remember, the goal is to make it possible for the child to get help before things get out of hand, not to make them fear possible discipline.
