Raising Optimistic Children
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm
A 2011 study in Pediatrics, examined optimism in 5,634 children who began taking 
part in the research when they were 12 to 14 years old. The researchers found that the quarter of kids who were the most optimistic had almost half the risk of showing signs of depression compared with those who were least optimistic. Being highly optimistic only had a “modest” link to less heavy substance abuse and antisocial behavior. Likely because substance use and antisocial behavior have strong genetic correlates.
Raising optimistic children has been meaningfully explored by Dr. Martin Seligman since he studied learned helplessness in the 1970’s. In 1991, Seligman published Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Since that time, his influence on the field of Positive Psychology has been instrumental in teaching the public that what you think and how you reframe your life experiences impacts your life view as well as your health. People who rate high on optimism live longer, have better mental health and are physically healthier than people who rate high on pessimism.
If you are wishing to encourage optimism in your children consider these time-honored strategies:
- Help your children set themselves up for success. Participating in tasks, academic activities and physical sports that are within your child’s ability will provide them with positive experiences increasing their self-esteem and allowing them to see themselves as capable.
- Give specific feedback on what your child does well. Instead of offering general praise, be specific. “You practiced so many multiplication problems that you earned an A on your recent test.” “Your effort and practice earn you better grades.”
- Validate their feelings offering some strategies for looking more hopefully at the circumstances. “It didn’t feel very good to miss the goal at soccer, but your footwork on the field was excellent. Daddy and I will play more with you in the backyard so you are better prepared for the next time.”
- Use positive not negative labels. Negative labels lead children to believe they are the label. So use positive labels when talking with and about your child. As an example, when your child exhibits a behavior that is unsuitable such as whining refrain from calling your child a “whiner” and practice using a new tone with your child. “Joey, when you ask for what you want in a positive tone, I can respond better to you.” “Let’s use a happy tone as we talk with one another.”
- Comment on the bright side. “I know it’s raining so we must play indoors, this is our chance to make a huge train station today.”
Raising optimistic children begins with you. Seeing the positive side of life experiences, learning from mishaps and practicing positive thoughts leads to happier children. You can find more ideas and strategies for raising the optimism quotient in your family by reading Martin Seligman’s book The Optimistic Child.
How to Ensure Your Holiday Dinner Guests Leave Smiling Not Sick
Last updated on December 13th, 2025 at 04:38 pm
Every host wants guests to leave the table with a full stomach, not a stomach bug. Unfortunately, 76 million cases of food-borne diseases occur in the United States each year, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 325,000 of those cases result in a trip to the emergency room. This time of year, with heaps of food and extra guests, it’s all too easy to contaminate meals with food-borne bugs or a nasty flu virus.
Luckily, there are a few simple safe-cooking precautions that will keep your friends and family safe and healthy this holiday season. Barbara Kowalcyk, director of food safety at The Center for Foodborne Illness Research & Prevention in Grove City, Pa., shares her tips to help prevent both food poisoning and germ-sharing.
At the Store
Keep raw meats and poultry separate from packaged foods in your cart. The outside of meat packages can be contaminated with bacteria, and touching them means you can easily spread germs and bacteria to other products. “Don’t be afraid to use a plastic bag from the produce department as a glove when handling meats,” says Kowalcyk. “A little precaution now can save you from a big mess later.”
At Home
Proper preparation is the key to safe cooking. Before cooking any meals, clean your hands and all work surfaces. Designate different cutting boards for different types of foods to help prevent cross-contamination. It’s also important to pay attention to what you’re doing. “Don’t go from cutting a chicken to making a salad. Wash your hands,” says Kowalcyk.
Knowing which foods to wash also prevents illness. Always wash the tops of cans and all fruits and vegetables. “People are often surprised to learn that something like a salad can make them sick,” says Kowalcyk. She recommends skipping prepackaged bagged leaves and buying the whole head instead. Remove the outside leaves as well as any with tears, which are the most likely to be contaminated.
Don’t put meat and poultry in the sink. “It doesn’t need to be washed,” says Kowalcyk. Washing raises the risk of contaminating other surfaces in your kitchen. It only takes between three and 10 microbes to start an infection (more than a million can fit on the head of a pin). Just a few drops of dirty water can really wreck havoc on your kitchen. Washing the food won’t kill bacteria, but cooking your food to the proper temperature will.
If You’re Sick
If you’re fighting the flu or a cold, you should stay out of the kitchen altogether. Give instructions to another family member or consider wearing a mask as you prepare the food. If nothing else, wash your hands more often — especially after you cough or sneeze.
In the Oven
Testing meat for color, touch or until juices run clear is not a good way to tell if food is done. “Testing the internal temperature is the only way to know if it’s cooked to a safe temperature,” says Kowalcyk. She recommends you ditch the dial thermometers and pop-up buttons included with some prepackaged turkeys since both may not be calibrated properly. Instead, use a digital thermometer to test meat at its thickest point and poultry at the joint between the thigh and leg.
The United States Department of Agriculture recommends cooking foods to the following minimum temperatures to ensure safe consumption:
- Beef, Pork, Veal & Lamb (steak, chops, roasts): 145 F (62.8 C) and allow to rest for at least 3 minutes
- Ground meats: 160 F (71.1 C)
- Ham, fresh or smoked (uncooked): 145 F (62.8 C) and allow to rest for at least 3 minutes
- Fully Cooked Ham (to reheat): Reheat cooked hams packaged in USDA-inspected plants to 140 F (60 C) and all others to 165 F (73.9 C)
- All Poultry (breasts, whole bird, legs, thighs, and wings, ground poultry, and stuffing): 165 F (73.9 C)
- Eggs: 160 F (71.1 C)
- Fish & Shellfish: 145 F (62.8 C)
- Leftovers: 165 F (73.9 C)
- Casseroles: 165 F (73.9 C)
At the Table
Don’t let food sit out for more than two hours. This includes the time it may be on the counter or table before you serve it. Keep hot foods hot in the oven and cold foods cold in the refrigerator. “Don’t let your foods get to room temperature,” says Kowalcyk. “That’s where bacteria likes to grow. And the longer it sits out, the more you increase your risk of getting sick.”
After the Meal
Transfer warm leftovers to shallow dishes so they’ll cool down evenly and quickly in the fridge. Also keep in mind that the temperature increases in an overstuffed fridge, so you may need to adjust yours for a few days after a big meal to make sure it stays at a safe 40 F.
The Next Day
Everyone loves leftovers, but not everyone should reach for the cold turkey. Those vulnerable to illness — young children, pregnant women and people with chronic conditions — should reheat leftovers to 165 F before eating them. “Most people will be OK, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry,” says Kowalcyk.
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Editor’s Note: This post first appeared on Pediatric Safety in November of 2010. The chart has been updated to include the most current information available on the minimum safe internal temperatures for food. If you’re preparing dinner for guests, print a copy and keep it handy. Wishing all of our readers a happy and healthy Thanksgiving!
Preventing, Detecting and Treating TMJ in Children
Last updated on December 13th, 2025 at 04:35 pm
Almost everyone, including children, experiences soreness and discomfort in the jaw from time to time, and most times these symptoms fade and disappear in a few short days. Those other few instances where the pain lingers and increases should raise alarm for parents. Continued soreness and tightness in the jaw as well as difficulty chewing, smiling and even breathing are all symptoms of TMJ, or temporomandibular joint, disorder.
The TMJ is the joint that connects the lower jaw to the skull. Overuse or irritation to the joint can result in headaches, neck aches, and jaw or face pain, problems chewing or biting, popping and clicking sounds when opening and closing the mouth and extreme cases cause the jaw to lock open or closed. TMJ can occur to anyone at any age, but is especially prevalent in teenage girls.
Unfortunately, it is often unclear what causes TMJ disorders in children. Contributing factors include can include: stress, clenching or grinding of the jaw or other oral or overall health issues. Stress frequently results in the grinding or tightening of the jaw in children. Many do not even realize they are doing it as it becomes habit. Also, if your child has a bad bite, muscle problems or has had face or jaw trauma, they are more likely to experience the discomfort or TMJ.
Thankfully, there are many treatment options to relieve the pain of TMJ disorder.
- The simplest fix, depending on the severity of the condition, is to encourage your child to rest their jaw for a few days. You can assist in this by having soft foods for meals and snacks, and discouraging aggravating activities such as gum chewing, open-mouth yawning and clenching or grinding. Also apply ice or heat as needed to relieve pain temporarily.
- For the more involved cases, further treatment will need to be explored. Dentists may provide a device for your child to wear at night to minimize grinding or prescribe medication to relax the jaw muscles. Braces or corrective dentistry may be needed if the disorder is stemming from a misaligned bite.
- Rarely, surgery will be recommended.
To help your child avoid TMJ disorder, bring to their attention bad grinding or clenching habits. The habits often coincide with certain behaviors – being upset, studying for tests, etc – so teach your child to pinpoint their trigger behaviors so they can consciously combat the bad habits. Allowing plenty of time for exercise and play will also help keep stress levels down.
If you think your child is exhibiting symptoms of TMJ, contact a local dentist today. The earlier TMJ can be treated, the better.
Kids and School – a “Germy” Combination
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:19 pm
Now, your children are in school and the initial trauma is over —for you. This is great; Mommy or Daddy’s day out every day, meetings at Starbuck’s, play a round of tennis, make dinner and await the arrival of your kids coming home. I’m sure things aren’t quite that way but you do have time to do things you did not have the time for before school, additionally you may very well still have a young one or two at home.
If your child is busy enjoying the challenges of his/her first encounter with a classroom setting, he/she is also busy adding to the petrie dish of viral and bacterial flora that decorate every nook and cranny of their little classroom. Not to worry parents, this petrie dish 
is actually world wide; doorknobs, telephone handles, handshaking, etc. This is not meant to worry you more but to help put your mind at ease. If, in fact, the entire tangible world is covered with a thin layer of “slime”, there are relatively very few people getting ill because of that contact. As a matter of fact, contact with these organisms can result in a certain amount of immunity while not actually imparting visible disease. Tough concept to understand but it is the same with your school age children and whether you worry about it or not, this contact will surely take place.
Add to that the possibility that your school aged child may then carry home the very “germs” you are worried about exposing your younger child to and it’s enough to pack up your entire family and seek shelter in the closest sealed balloon- like chamber.
Things are not as bad as all that. The coexistence of man and bacteria, mostly in a benign synergistic manner, has been well documented over time: we are better off because they are around and in turn they are better off because of our presence. There are far more harmless microorganisms in our environment than those causing disease, as a matter of fact some are even helping us come up with new and effective medications and products.
Certain bacteria can be coaxed into producing human-helpful by-products much easier and in far greater quantities than we can produce with our highly sophisticated technology. Bacteria and viruses are much “smarter” than you and me; whenever we come up with a defense, they find a way to get around our barriers with intricate defenses. Hence, the development of resistances to antibiotics, etc.
Sure it is reasonable to take practical precautions to protect your children, but their exposures are not necessarily a bad thing and no matter what you do some contact will be inevitable. Once entering a school setting a child can be expected to have 6-8 significant, although usually mild illnesses, per year for the first year or two, but guess what, after that time the illnesses become fewer and fewer.
So relax, do what you can reasonably do, but realize you can’t ever keep your child completely germ free. Get your child completely up to date with the recommended immunizations and vaccines before school entrance and keep him or her that way always.
Did You Know Creativity Enhances Your Child’s Developing Mind?
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:18 pm
Children are naturally creative: Their napkins become hats, their drinks are magic potions, and ketchup turns into paint. But aside from being endlessly entertaining, creativity is also critical to their developing brains. Creative and artistic experiences help kids express their feelings and come up with new ideas and ways to solve problems. Studies show that involvement in the arts boosts test scores and promotes academic achievement across the board.
These discoveries may explain why children’s art studios are popping up across the country, giving kids a chance to let their imaginations run wild with paint, clay, and in the case of Make-a-Messterpiece in Glenview, Ill., even bubbles. In addition to private studios (such as KidsArt in California and Washington) and foundations (such as Creative Art Space for Kids in New York), many YMCA branches and local art museums offer art programs.
You can also get your child’s creative juices flowing at home with some very basic art supplies and the right attitude. Bring out the creative genius in your children with these simple tips.
Start With a Blank Slate
Leave projects open-ended so kids are free to imagine the endless possibilities. For example, if you’re painting pumpkins, don’t paint one first as an example, because your kids are likely to try to copy it, quashing their creativity. Instead, simply give children paint and paintbrushes and let them begin. Keep in mind that there are no wrong ways to paint a pumpkin.
Forget Perfection
Focus on the creative process rather than the finished product. For example, your child may find tremendous fun and fulfillment in shaping, squishing, pounding and poking at clay for an hour – even if the end result is a shapeless lump.
Don’t Mind the Mess
Art is not a neat business, and nothing stifles creativity faster than a wet mop or a dustpan underfoot. Let your child get dirty – that’s how she’ll learn to take risks. (Plus, it’s fun!) You can wipe up the glitter later.
Mix It up
Spice up your at-home art projects by using different materials instead of the usual paint, felt, pipe cleaners and beads. Challenge your children to find art supplies in their environment: a sponge, chopsticks, gum wrappers, bottle caps and egg cartons, for example. Head outside and collect leaves, sticks, acorns and small pebbles. Supply children with glue and paper and give no other direction. Be ready for anything.
Expose Them to Diversity
Take trips to museums and zoos; see plays and concerts; attend an African drumming circle, a Mexican fiesta, a Chinese New Year celebration. Every experience your children have with people or situations outside their normal routine widens their range of creative expression.
Make Music
Encourage experimentation with musical instruments without showing how it’s done. Let her play piano with her toes or beat the drum with maracas if she wants. You can make your own instruments too. Dried beans in a toilet paper tube make a great shaker; waxed paper secured over a coffee can is a drum; rubber bands stretched over a shoebox make a guitar. Grab an instrument and play along for a fun family hootenanny.
Allow for Unconventional Ideas
Thinking outside the box is what creativity is all about. When kids come up with a new way of doing things – making a sculpture out of plastic hangers, for instance – go with it (as long as it’s safe, of course). Your support will encourage more creative thinking and problem solving down the road.
Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite! Really!!
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:18 pm
For many of us, the bedtime warning, “Don’t let the bedbugs bite!” was just a silly thing grown-ups said. Now it’s a real and rising threat in many parts of the country.
After more than 50 years of virtual elimination in the U.S., bedbugs have made a roaring comeback over the last decade, spreading most rapidly in the last six years, according to Richard Cooper, a research entomologist and vice president of BedBugCentral.com. The nocturnal feasters come out of the woodwork (literally), the mattress and the bedding to sink their teeth into sleeping humans and suck their blood. And they hitchhike on people from one location to another.
“Bedbugs don’t discriminate,” says Cooper. “They’re not a sign of poor hygiene, but people still say, ‘I wouldn’t get bed bugs.’ That attitude has fostered the spread.”
Once bedbugs settle into an environment, they’re very tough to stop. Bedbugs typically first install in sleeping areas, but they eventually move into closets, dressers, even behind picture frames. The key is to catch an infestation when it’s relatively new — which is easier said than done.
In small numbers, bedbugs are hard to spot, and by the time you’ve got rows or clusters of itchy bites on your body, they’ve been making themselves at home in your house for months. By then, says Cooper, “they’re very difficult and very costly to control … too costly for many people. If you find them in the first few weeks, it would cost under $500. Later on, it would be $500 to $1,500, and sometimes more.”
To keep ahead of a possible infestation, Cooper recommends taking the following steps to stop bedbugs in your home:
1. Get educated.
Read up on bedbugs and how they spread. Know what the bites and the bugs look like.
2. Start snooping.
When was the last time you turned over your mattress and inspected the underside? Probably never. But that’s the first place you’re likely to find bugs.
As parents prepare for another school year, there’s one routine they should add to their daily repertoire – checking their child’s backpack and other school items for bed bugs. …from the EPA’s Bed Bugs in Schools – Guidance for Parents
3. Save a sample.
If you think you see a bedbug, grab it with tweezers and put it in a small container with rubbing alcohol. Or pick it up with clear tape, and tape it to a piece of paper. Before you spend money ridding your home of bedbugs, you want to make sure you actually have them.
4. Call the pros.
They can do what you can’t: treat your home and furnishings with a variety of techniques, including chemical sprays, targeted vacuuming, commercial steam-cleaning and structural heat processes. Make sure the company uses a multifaceted approach rather than just chemicals, warns Cooper, because bedbugs are becoming resistant.
5. Turn up the heat.
“Heat is the Achilles’ heel of bedbugs,” says Cooper, so wash your clothes in hot water whenever possible, and dry them on high.
6. Invest in gear.
There are a number of products that can limit the access of bedbugs to your sleeping areas, including mattress encasements and the ClimbUp Interceptor, which keeps bugs from scaling your furniture legs.
It may take awhile to complete treatment to stop bedbugs, but once you’ve made it for 60 days with no new bites, you can finally rest easy.
