Raising Optimistic Children
Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm
A 2011 study in Pediatrics, examined optimism in 5,634 children who began taking 
part in the research when they were 12 to 14 years old. The researchers found that the quarter of kids who were the most optimistic had almost half the risk of showing signs of depression compared with those who were least optimistic. Being highly optimistic only had a “modest” link to less heavy substance abuse and antisocial behavior. Likely because substance use and antisocial behavior have strong genetic correlates.
Raising optimistic children has been meaningfully explored by Dr. Martin Seligman since he studied learned helplessness in the 1970’s. In 1991, Seligman published Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Since that time, his influence on the field of Positive Psychology has been instrumental in teaching the public that what you think and how you reframe your life experiences impacts your life view as well as your health. People who rate high on optimism live longer, have better mental health and are physically healthier than people who rate high on pessimism.
If you are wishing to encourage optimism in your children consider these time-honored strategies:
- Help your children set themselves up for success. Participating in tasks, academic activities and physical sports that are within your child’s ability will provide them with positive experiences increasing their self-esteem and allowing them to see themselves as capable.
- Give specific feedback on what your child does well. Instead of offering general praise, be specific. “You practiced so many multiplication problems that you earned an A on your recent test.” “Your effort and practice earn you better grades.”
- Validate their feelings offering some strategies for looking more hopefully at the circumstances. “It didn’t feel very good to miss the goal at soccer, but your footwork on the field was excellent. Daddy and I will play more with you in the backyard so you are better prepared for the next time.”
- Use positive not negative labels. Negative labels lead children to believe they are the label. So use positive labels when talking with and about your child. As an example, when your child exhibits a behavior that is unsuitable such as whining refrain from calling your child a “whiner” and practice using a new tone with your child. “Joey, when you ask for what you want in a positive tone, I can respond better to you.” “Let’s use a happy tone as we talk with one another.”
- Comment on the bright side. “I know it’s raining so we must play indoors, this is our chance to make a huge train station today.”
Raising optimistic children begins with you. Seeing the positive side of life experiences, learning from mishaps and practicing positive thoughts leads to happier children. You can find more ideas and strategies for raising the optimism quotient in your family by reading Martin Seligman’s book The Optimistic Child.
Kids and School – a “Germy” Combination
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:19 pm
Now, your children are in school and the initial trauma is over —for you. This is great; Mommy or Daddy’s day out every day, meetings at Starbuck’s, play a round of tennis, make dinner and await the arrival of your kids coming home. I’m sure things aren’t quite that way but you do have time to do things you did not have the time for before school, additionally you may very well still have a young one or two at home.
If your child is busy enjoying the challenges of his/her first encounter with a classroom setting, he/she is also busy adding to the petrie dish of viral and bacterial flora that decorate every nook and cranny of their little classroom. Not to worry parents, this petrie dish 
is actually world wide; doorknobs, telephone handles, handshaking, etc. This is not meant to worry you more but to help put your mind at ease. If, in fact, the entire tangible world is covered with a thin layer of “slime”, there are relatively very few people getting ill because of that contact. As a matter of fact, contact with these organisms can result in a certain amount of immunity while not actually imparting visible disease. Tough concept to understand but it is the same with your school age children and whether you worry about it or not, this contact will surely take place.
Add to that the possibility that your school aged child may then carry home the very “germs” you are worried about exposing your younger child to and it’s enough to pack up your entire family and seek shelter in the closest sealed balloon- like chamber.
Things are not as bad as all that. The coexistence of man and bacteria, mostly in a benign synergistic manner, has been well documented over time: we are better off because they are around and in turn they are better off because of our presence. There are far more harmless microorganisms in our environment than those causing disease, as a matter of fact some are even helping us come up with new and effective medications and products.
Certain bacteria can be coaxed into producing human-helpful by-products much easier and in far greater quantities than we can produce with our highly sophisticated technology. Bacteria and viruses are much “smarter” than you and me; whenever we come up with a defense, they find a way to get around our barriers with intricate defenses. Hence, the development of resistances to antibiotics, etc.
Sure it is reasonable to take practical precautions to protect your children, but their exposures are not necessarily a bad thing and no matter what you do some contact will be inevitable. Once entering a school setting a child can be expected to have 6-8 significant, although usually mild illnesses, per year for the first year or two, but guess what, after that time the illnesses become fewer and fewer.
So relax, do what you can reasonably do, but realize you can’t ever keep your child completely germ free. Get your child completely up to date with the recommended immunizations and vaccines before school entrance and keep him or her that way always.
10 Kidpower Safety Tips for Parents of Young Children
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:19 pm
Long before they can talk or move on their own, babies are getting lessons from their adults about what it means to be safe and to be important. Our job as adults is to provide nurturing, love, guidance, and protection. As toddlers and preschoolers start to develop more mobility, understanding, and language, our job is also to start teaching them how to be safe in their world and with other people. When it comes to safety, the earliest teachable moment is the best teachable moment as long as this is done in a way that builds understanding and skills rather than creating anxiety or fear. The following safety tips are from Kidpower’s newest book, Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers.
1. Put Safety First. Kidpower’s Underlying Principle is that, “The safety and healthy self-esteem of a child are more important than anyone’s embarrassment, inconvenience or offense.” Putting safety first seems obvious, but can be hard to uphold in daily life. Don’t let reluctance to inconvenience someone or to be inconvenienced, worry about embarrassing someone or about being embarrassed, fear of offending someone or of feeling uncomfortable, stop you from protecting the emotional and physical safety and well-being of your child.
2. Stay calm and upbeat. Children learn better and feel safer when their adults sound hopeful. Worrying and talking about the bad things that might happen can make everyone anxious without making anyone safer. Instead, focus on all the positive ways you can protect your child from harm most of the time.
3. Stay in charge. Young children do not always have the understanding, skills, or life experience to recognize potential danger – whether from an animal, a cliff, a piece of glass, an electric outlet, a car, or a person who might be unsafe. They are too small and too precious to have their safety left to chance. Make sure you always know who is with your children, where they are going, and what they are doing.
4. Pay attention to your own intuition. If you are even a little bit uncomfortable about a person or a situation involving your child, take action rather than hoping that the problem will go away by itself. No matter what the relationship, your job is to speak up, stick around, intervene, and keep watching until your concerns are addressed.
5. Set a good example. Model staying respectful even if you are frustrated, using your words to solve conflicts, moving away from trouble, advocating for your child and yourself, waiting your turn when you want something, interrupting to get help if you have a safety problem, and being careful.
6. Give your kids practice in taking charge. When playing tickling or roughhousing games, teach children that their “No” means “No” and their “Stop” means “Stop.” For example, when playing a chasing game such as “I’m going to get you!” – sometimes have children stop you by turning, making a stop sign with their hand, and yelling, “STOP!” You can give children practice in throwing hurting words away instead of taking them into their bodies. By stopping, you are teaching children to use their personal power. You can teach preschoolers to imagine that someone is acting scary and coach them to run yelling “I NEED HELP!” to their adult and have that person tell the child, “I will help you!” Give children practice in moving away from anything or anyone they don’t know well and checking first with their adult.
7. Accept children’s right to be upset or have unhappy feelings when you need to set limits. For example, in stopping a child from running off, you might say in a compassionate and firm way, “I see you are angry that I am holding your hand. You want to be able to run without being stopped. Staying together here is not a choice. Holding hands helps keep you safe.”
8. Empower children with choices when you can. Allowing children to choose between the red cup or the blue cup, walking by themselves or being carried, doing something right away or in five minutes, helps children develop decision-making skills and confidence in their personal power.
9. Remember that affection should always be a child’s choice. Let children choose hugging or kissing, even with Grandma. Teach children how to move away from unwanted touch or teasing and say, “Stop. I don’t like that.” Tell adults or other children to respect the child’s wishes by listening and stopping. Remember that forced affection is not love.
10. Listen to Children! Even if their fears seem insignificant to you, listen with compassion and calmness, without lecturing or getting upset. Be a supportive adult for them to come to.
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Kidpower Teenpower Fullpower International is a global nonprofit leader in child protection, positive communication, and personal safety skills for all ages and abilities. Since 1989, Kidpower has protected over 2.5 million children, teens, and adults, including those with special needs, from bullying, abuse, abduction, and other violence through workshops and educational resources. Instead of using fear to teach about violence prevention, Kidpower makes it FUN to learn to be safe. Visit www.kidpower.org to learn about our extensive free online library, affordable books, and workshops. Kidpower’s new book, Earliest Teachable Moment: Personal Safety for Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers, is also available on Amazon.
Irene van der Zande is also author of another great book for parents of young children, 1,2,3…The Toddler Years: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers, which includes a forward by child development expert, Magda Gerber. The book can be found on Amazon.
Did You Know Creativity Enhances Your Child’s Developing Mind?
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:18 pm
Children are naturally creative: Their napkins become hats, their drinks are magic potions, and ketchup turns into paint. But aside from being endlessly entertaining, creativity is also critical to their developing brains. Creative and artistic experiences help kids express their feelings and come up with new ideas and ways to solve problems. Studies show that involvement in the arts boosts test scores and promotes academic achievement across the board.
These discoveries may explain why children’s art studios are popping up across the country, giving kids a chance to let their imaginations run wild with paint, clay, and in the case of Make-a-Messterpiece in Glenview, Ill., even bubbles. In addition to private studios (such as KidsArt in California and Washington) and foundations (such as Creative Art Space for Kids in New York), many YMCA branches and local art museums offer art programs.
You can also get your child’s creative juices flowing at home with some very basic art supplies and the right attitude. Bring out the creative genius in your children with these simple tips.
Start With a Blank Slate
Leave projects open-ended so kids are free to imagine the endless possibilities. For example, if you’re painting pumpkins, don’t paint one first as an example, because your kids are likely to try to copy it, quashing their creativity. Instead, simply give children paint and paintbrushes and let them begin. Keep in mind that there are no wrong ways to paint a pumpkin.
Forget Perfection
Focus on the creative process rather than the finished product. For example, your child may find tremendous fun and fulfillment in shaping, squishing, pounding and poking at clay for an hour – even if the end result is a shapeless lump.
Don’t Mind the Mess
Art is not a neat business, and nothing stifles creativity faster than a wet mop or a dustpan underfoot. Let your child get dirty – that’s how she’ll learn to take risks. (Plus, it’s fun!) You can wipe up the glitter later.
Mix It up
Spice up your at-home art projects by using different materials instead of the usual paint, felt, pipe cleaners and beads. Challenge your children to find art supplies in their environment: a sponge, chopsticks, gum wrappers, bottle caps and egg cartons, for example. Head outside and collect leaves, sticks, acorns and small pebbles. Supply children with glue and paper and give no other direction. Be ready for anything.
Expose Them to Diversity
Take trips to museums and zoos; see plays and concerts; attend an African drumming circle, a Mexican fiesta, a Chinese New Year celebration. Every experience your children have with people or situations outside their normal routine widens their range of creative expression.
Make Music
Encourage experimentation with musical instruments without showing how it’s done. Let her play piano with her toes or beat the drum with maracas if she wants. You can make your own instruments too. Dried beans in a toilet paper tube make a great shaker; waxed paper secured over a coffee can is a drum; rubber bands stretched over a shoebox make a guitar. Grab an instrument and play along for a fun family hootenanny.
Allow for Unconventional Ideas
Thinking outside the box is what creativity is all about. When kids come up with a new way of doing things – making a sculpture out of plastic hangers, for instance – go with it (as long as it’s safe, of course). Your support will encourage more creative thinking and problem solving down the road.
Don’t Let the Bedbugs Bite! Really!!
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:18 pm
For many of us, the bedtime warning, “Don’t let the bedbugs bite!” was just a silly thing grown-ups said. Now it’s a real and rising threat in many parts of the country.
After more than 50 years of virtual elimination in the U.S., bedbugs have made a roaring comeback over the last decade, spreading most rapidly in the last six years, according to Richard Cooper, a research entomologist and vice president of BedBugCentral.com. The nocturnal feasters come out of the woodwork (literally), the mattress and the bedding to sink their teeth into sleeping humans and suck their blood. And they hitchhike on people from one location to another.
“Bedbugs don’t discriminate,” says Cooper. “They’re not a sign of poor hygiene, but people still say, ‘I wouldn’t get bed bugs.’ That attitude has fostered the spread.”
Once bedbugs settle into an environment, they’re very tough to stop. Bedbugs typically first install in sleeping areas, but they eventually move into closets, dressers, even behind picture frames. The key is to catch an infestation when it’s relatively new — which is easier said than done.
In small numbers, bedbugs are hard to spot, and by the time you’ve got rows or clusters of itchy bites on your body, they’ve been making themselves at home in your house for months. By then, says Cooper, “they’re very difficult and very costly to control … too costly for many people. If you find them in the first few weeks, it would cost under $500. Later on, it would be $500 to $1,500, and sometimes more.”
To keep ahead of a possible infestation, Cooper recommends taking the following steps to stop bedbugs in your home:
1. Get educated.
Read up on bedbugs and how they spread. Know what the bites and the bugs look like.
2. Start snooping.
When was the last time you turned over your mattress and inspected the underside? Probably never. But that’s the first place you’re likely to find bugs.
As parents prepare for another school year, there’s one routine they should add to their daily repertoire – checking their child’s backpack and other school items for bed bugs. …from the EPA’s Bed Bugs in Schools – Guidance for Parents
3. Save a sample.
If you think you see a bedbug, grab it with tweezers and put it in a small container with rubbing alcohol. Or pick it up with clear tape, and tape it to a piece of paper. Before you spend money ridding your home of bedbugs, you want to make sure you actually have them.
4. Call the pros.
They can do what you can’t: treat your home and furnishings with a variety of techniques, including chemical sprays, targeted vacuuming, commercial steam-cleaning and structural heat processes. Make sure the company uses a multifaceted approach rather than just chemicals, warns Cooper, because bedbugs are becoming resistant.
5. Turn up the heat.
“Heat is the Achilles’ heel of bedbugs,” says Cooper, so wash your clothes in hot water whenever possible, and dry them on high.
6. Invest in gear.
There are a number of products that can limit the access of bedbugs to your sleeping areas, including mattress encasements and the ClimbUp Interceptor, which keeps bugs from scaling your furniture legs.
It may take awhile to complete treatment to stop bedbugs, but once you’ve made it for 60 days with no new bites, you can finally rest easy.
We ALL Need To Observe National Child Passenger Safety Week
We struggle in so many ways to keep our children and grandchildren safe from the many dangers we know are out there, both on the streets and in our homes. Yet surprisingly, even those who love them the most, are willing to do everything in their power to protect them from harm, still allow them to be exposed to a dangerous situation, sometimes several times a day. I’m talking about the few minutes required to make sure they are properly restrained in their car.
I’m a grandma. When my own children were young, there were no child restraint safety seats, therefore, no safety regulations regarding their use. Seatbelts were the only safety measures available in cars, and their use was not yet mandatory. Today, with the availability of four types of safety restraints for children based on age, height and weight statistics – and a step-by-step instruction guide to help you figure out which one you need (thank you!) – the watchdogs of child safety have made the use of the proper restraint a no-brainer. Combined with easy-to-follow installation methods (including offering videos as well as live help options) the only part of protection that remains to be taken care of is making sure the restraints are closed properly. That job was never intended to be left for the “kids” to handle themselves. What I think has happened over the last number of years is, with Mom or another caregiver transporting children to school, doctors, play dates, lessons, sports, shopping, etc . . . , everyone is in and out of the car so many times a day, that the easy way out took precedence over what is correct. We let the kids buckle themselves in. But making sure they are safe is an adult responsibility.
It’s time for a reality check. Too many children are killed or maimed each year because an otherwise loving, conscientious caregiver did not realize that the child safety restraint was not the proper one, was not installed correctly, or was not secured the right way. These are senseless and preventable tragedies.
Reaching out to and teaching these loving caregivers that help is available to minimize or eliminate the injuries sustained by children in a car crash has become the mission of the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. This week, September 21 through September 27, has been designated National Child Passenger Safety Week. Using all the tools at its disposal to spread awareness and make safety checks available to anyone interested in keeping children safe while being transported in a car, NHTSA has gone all-out to spread the word.
We wish everyone concerned in this worthwhile endeavor “good luck”. We’re hoping that every person reading this takes the time to forward the information and the links to all the caregivers they know.
