I’m A Special Needs Soccer Mom …she’s come a long way, baby

Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm

My child is now on a soccer team. That seems like such a mundane statement, and the driving to and from games and the extra strain to find time to do homework and make dinner is wearing me out. But in the middle of it all I try to take a moment to remember that the fact that she is on a soccer team is not mundane at all – in fact, it is almost miraculous! Doctors told us she might never walk or talk, and yet there she is up and down the field, calling to her teammates. Yes, her legs might be a bit more stiff than the other girls and yes, sometimes her teammates don’t exactly understand what she is saying but for the most part she is just another girl on the team. She is ecstatic when they win and sullen when they lose, just like all the other girls. At one point my baby was labeled “failure to thrive” and the doctor started strongly suggesting a feeding tube. We resisted and worked on finding another answer.

This year at her annual checkup I got a lecture about how much weight she has gained the past year.

When we first got her diagnosis and grim predictions for her future I remember telling my family that I couldn’t allow myself to be upset about a future that might never happen – I had infant twins in my care, plus their toddler big brother. I was buried in diapers, feedings, laundry and medicine schedules. I was too tired to be upset. I had no choice but to take it one moment at a time. Of course I wanted to crawl under a rock, but babies have a way of demanding things, like food and attention and clean clothes.

If you have a newly diagnosed special needs child I am not saying don’t worry, everything will be fine. But I am saying to listen to your doctors, do your research, find support and take it one moment at a time – one bottle, one Sesame Street song or one load of laundry at a time.

Did You Know You Can Impact How Fast Your Child Learns?

Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm

US researchers Betty Hart and Tod Risley had devoted their lives to developing pre-school programs to bring poor underachieving children up to the level of learning of professors’ children. After years of research and work they realised, ‘We failed!’

They concluded that the rate at which a child’s vocabulary grows is a key to the child’s growth in intelligence . . . But

‘Vocabulary growth rates are unalterable by age four’. Something is happening in the homes before children come to early learning programs that enables rapid vocabulary growth.

Consequently they changed the direction of their research and organised a major research project to find out what was happening in the children’s homes before age four.

“The data revealed that,

• In an average hour together, some parents spent more than 40 minutes interacting with their child, and other parents spent less than 15 minutes.
• Some parents responded more than 250 times an hour to their child, and other responded fewer than 50 times.
• Some parents expressed approval and encouragement of their child’s actions more than 40 times an hour, and others less than 4 times.
• Some parents said more than 3,000 words to their child in an average hour together, and others said fewer than 500 words.
• The data showed that, for each family, the amount the parents talked to their children was so consistent over time that the differences in the children’s language experience, mounting up month by month, were enormous by age 3.”[1]

“With few exceptions, the more parents talked to their children, the faster the children’s vocabularies were growing and the higher the children’s IQ test scores at age 3 and later. Amount of parent talk accounted for all the correlation between socioeconomic status (and/or race) and the verbal intellectual accomplishments of these 42 young American children.” [2]

Another discovery of Hart and Risley’s work is that families have two kinds of talk—which Hart and Risley call ‘Business talk’ and ‘Extra talk’.

The amount of business talk was similar in all families: “Come here”, “Stop that”, “It’s 12 o’clock.” But there were large differences in the amount of “Extra talk” and these differences were particularly related to children’s intellectual growth.

“. . . when parents engaged children in more talk than was needed to take care of business, the content changed automatically. When parents began to discuss feelings, plans, present activities, and past events, the vocabulary became more varied and the descriptions richer in nuances. Their talk also became more positive and responsive to their children’s talk.”[3]

The “style” of non-business talk was similar across parents. The difference was how often such “extra” talk occurred.

“ . . . the most important aspect of children’s language experience is its amount.”

If parents need to place very young children in childcare, Hart and Risley say,

“the most important aspect to evaluate in child care settings for very young children is the amount of talk actually going on, moment by moment, between children and their caregivers.”[4]

Researchers assume that the speaking of many words to the child, in the home, forces the child’s brain to make many more connections between neurons, and so build a more efficient brain.

References:

• [1] Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1995. Meaningful Differences in the Everyday Life of Young American Children. Baltimore, London, Sydney: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Company. p. xx.
  Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1999. The Social World of Children Learning to Talk. Baltimore, London, Sydney: Paul Brookes Publishing Co.
• [2] Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1995. Meaningful Differences in the Everyday Life of Young American Children. p. xx
• [3] Meaningful Differences, p. xx.
• [4] Meaningful Differences, p. xi.

Tips for Parents of Kids Entering the Entertainment Industry

Last updated on September 27th, 2025 at 12:09 am

It all started when our daughter was 11 months old. I remember the day clearly. She was sitting in an infant seat in a neighborhood McDonald’s when a stranger walked up to our table and handed my husband a dollar bill.

“Your daughter is so pretty with her red – hair and I want to just give you some money to buy her something. You should get her an agent – she really is pretty.”

We were both at a loss for words. What was the meaning of this action? We were perplexed. And yes, as the years passed and her mane of red – curly hair grew, our young daughter continued to attract attention and we continued to be offered all kinds of “career” advice for her. So, it came as no surprise when she was about seven years old that our first – born announced she wanted to be on television like the Olsen twins from Full House. Luckily, we were able to postpone our budding thespian to the age of twelve.

In retrospect, I wish I had researched what to expect when you have a child join the professional world of the performing arts. Most of what I learned was through trial and error, word of mouth and a few books or articles that gave a realistic perspective. This article is my way of educating parents of talented kids what I wish we had known.

In no certain order:

1. Have a life of balance, set limits, and give assurances.

I am a firm believer that kids need to be kids. They need to run and play and figure out life on the playground and not on a movie set or on stage. However, there are some children that have a passion for the performing arts and for them being in this realm IS their form of play. How to create balance while not squashing talent? Allow your child to safely explore and develop skills. Let their creative juices flow by putting a video camera in their hands to practice their monologues or allow them to write their own scripts. This may be their way of seeking enjoyment in a healthy and constructive manner.

Be mindful of the child who is hyper-focused on “the career” and not allowing balance. This is a child who may be feeling an overwhelming sense of pressure to perform, fear of rejection or worried that walking away would be huge disappointment to the parent(s). Allow them to walk away. No amount of fame or money is worth the emotional health of a child.

…And what about the financial piece?

Reassure your child that at the end of the day all will be OK if the part is not secured, the role is cut, etc. Some children carry a huge burden that they believe their family is depending on their success for income. Not only is that an emotional strain that creates a huge amount of stress, but also, it is not fair if the parents do indeed say that.

Read a recent CNN article about when parents put too much pressure on their children.

2. The whole family joins in this venture – whether they want to or not!

In the movie FAME there is a famous line when a young performer gets accepted in to the school for the performing arts. The mother shouts, “WE made it!”

This scene may be from a Hollywood production, but in fact is a reality in homes worldwide. You may not realize it, but the whole family joins the entertainment business when a family member does. Schedules may need to be rearranged. Financial burden may result due to lack of parental wages (a parent or appointed guardian must accompany a minor) and music, acting and dance teachers need to be paid.

And, then there are the siblings. What becomes of them when their parent(s) are busy with the actor in the family? Who brings them to football practice or gymnastics? Why does everyone pay attention to the one child who is a musical prodigy and not to them? The siblings are the ones’ that often concern me the most as what will they do to shine the spotlight on themselves if they don’t receive the same attention as their more “famous” sibling. And how will the family dynamic change when the performing child moves from the home to seek fortune in fame in Hollywood, Broadway or other destinations? Which parent will join and which will remain at home? It is important to keep tabs on the emotional and physical health of all in the family when you are parenting the talented. Many families can negotiate with ease the changes in family dynamic while others find the pressure insurmountable. Family meetings can be helpful to keep the lines of communication open and all in check.

Sometimes the child and family will get caught up in the excitement of the entertainment world. There even may be some early successes or awards offered that give the child a false sense that they are beyond the need for education. “They already have a job – so why go to school?”

Parents let me tell you as an educator and a parent to a child who did have success at a young age – education MUST be a priority. Why? Simply, because at the end of the day there are a thousand cute red – headed girls who are all very talented. And not everyone can be the principal dancer at ABT.

Imagine what life would be like for the child if they did not have a proper educational foundation? In this competitive world we as parents are responsible for providing an education for our child that will give them building blocks for the future. Moreover, emphasize that college IS the plan or at the very least- the back up plan!

Read about famous child performers who have attended college

And learn how education is listed as a top priority within the performing arts industry, too. Read more

4. Safety also MUST be a priority.

This is a business where you need to go to the thousandth mile in doing your due diligence. There are a lot of good people in the entertainment industry. Many will actually care about your child. But in reality, there also are creeps and scammers. The problem is that the good guys look and sound a lot like the bad guys. That is when you get to become the “parent sleuth”. Investigate the person who claims to be the “best acting coach in town.” Be an advocate for your child when it comes to issues of safety by checking on licensure and reputation of all involved.

Recommendations for keeping a minor safe in the entertainment industry: Read here

5. Learn who does what role in the industry and where to find concrete information that is reliable and valid. Click the links below for great resources.

• Screen Actors Guild and American Federation of Television and Radio Artists
• Talent Managers
• Talent Agents
• Resources for children with special needs in the acting field
• Read how the Coogan Laws keep your child’s finances safe.

NOTE: For headshots, sizzle reels, etc. please use only reputable and recommended resources. And never allow your child, tween or teen go to a headshot session or audition alone.

In closing, a child working in the performing arts can be exposed to some wonderful opportunities and fun. It can be an amazing experience and one the whole family can enjoy. I wish all who pursue this adventure much success!

“Break a leg!”

News On Dog Attacks Is Scary – Is Your Dog “Child Friendly”?

Last updated on July 6th, 2025 at 03:16 pm

This year alone, we seem to be hearing more and more stories in the news about dog attacks, even among us trainers we notice the increase of instances! But no headline stops our hearts as much as when we see ‘Child Mauled by Family Dog’. So it stands to reason that parents who were not concerned before, are now (understandably) worried if their own lovable family pet they’ve had for years would be capable of inflicting harm to their child, and question if they would be able to tell the difference between a ‘typical’ puppy teething nip, and when it may be a pre-curser to a more serious issue.

The fact is, young puppies have sharp needle-like teeth, and It hurts when they nip! And if they happen to get just the right spot, or nip a child’s tender fragile skin, a puppy meaning no harm can still draw blood from a nip! So how can you tell the meaning behind it and when you should be concerned?

The first place to start in answering some of these questions would be to better define certain words that are thrown around in the media a bit too quickly…. The top two being “Attack” and “Aggression.” When I’m talking to a customer, and they say, “My dog keeps attacking my son” I have to consciously remind myself to ask many questions… because usually, after a few simple answers from them, I can ascertain that they just mean the dog keeps running up to and jumping on their child… not that this is okay or acceptable behavior, but definitely a far cry from the dog ‘attacking’ their child.

In Miriam Webster’s Dictionary, the words aggression and attack go hand-in-hand with the words “forceful”, “hostile” and “offensive against”. If this doesn’t sound like your dog, then before we get into some of the things you may want to keep an eye on, hopefully this will help ease your worry about two things that probably shouldn’t keep you up at night.

So now that we have a better understanding of these two words, often, it all boils down to intent. There are many signs your dog will emit regarding their intent long before an actual bite occurs. Although on occasion it does happen, it is very rare that a dog will suddenly strike out without provocation or warning signs. The problem is for the average every day person, those signs can be very subtle. To learn more about what your dog’s body might be telling you, please read my previous article.

But for now, let’s break down some things to be wary of, and then add in some important ‘do’s and don’ts’.

First…if you have a puppy:

1. Warning signs you might want to be aware of:

• A pup that is guarding their food or Toys: When they are eating or chewing a toy, if they suddenly stop and their body seems to ‘freeze’ whenever there is movement around them, it can be cause for concern. If you see this behavior, do not allow the kids around the pup until you investigate further. A safe way for YOU to test this is to tie the leash to something strong, solid and unmovable. Before attaching him to the leash, see how far the leash extends in any given direction. Now put him on the leash, put his food bowl down within his reach and walk away. Once he starts eating, calmly and assertively walk by (taking care to remain outside of the leash’s reach) and watch his reaction closely. If he reacts negatively in any way (growling, lunging, freezing, etc.) or you are unsure, it might be a good idea to call in a professional to evaluate him. A great resource to find a professional trainer near you is the International Association of Canine Professionals
• A pup that is relentlessly biting, no matter how often you correct it: Again, this could be a major issue later on. Many scientists did extensive research on this and found that there are many vital and valuable lessons a pup receives through play with the mother and littermates. Sometimes when a pup is separated from them too soon (prior to eight weeks of age) there are certain behavioral issues that are often very difficult to break because they do not learn bite-inhibition… they don’t understand that biting really hurts! In this scenario, early intervention is essential.
• Any pup showing early signs of neurological deficits: Walking with their head constantly leaning to one side, their gait unsteady, etc. Make sure you discuss any concerns you may have with your vet.

2. Some Important Do’s:

• Encourage calm, gentle interactions and petting of the puppy by all members of the family. Just like you did “Tummy Time” with your baby, encourage “Back Time” with your pup. Put them on their backs and while holding them there, gently stroke them. This is a submissive position for a dog/pup and allows you to be the ‘alpha’ (or top dog). Make sure to also gently rub and message their paws… including the pads… on a regular basis right from the start. You’re building trust and bonding with your puppy
• Remember that at this stage, everything is a learning experience for your pup, so start setting the rules and boundaries in place immediately. At this life-stage, they are thirsty for knowledge and desperately want to please you!
• Make sure everything ‘matches’: Your body language, tone, and your words. If they are doing something wrong, don’t say the word ‘NO’ softly to them while continuing to pet them. When we tell a child no, it is usually coupled with a denial of a privilege or the removal or refusal of something they want. Thus, the word quickly gains its meaning for them. But if you are petting your pup and cooing, “no, no” you confuse the meaning of the word. Stop the petting, stiffen your body slightly (this clearly tells them you are not happy with their actions) and say “NO!” very clearly. When they stop what they are doing, relax your posture, lower your voice and praise calmly.

3. Some Important Don’ts:

• When playing, don’t wiggle your fingers in their face or make your hands a toy. Remember, teaching them first that this is an okay form of play, then getting upset when they’re biting your hand is a very confusing mixed message for them.
• Be aware not to just replace your hand with a toy when they’re nipping without including a correction first. Correcting before replacing is a very important step you don’t want to miss… otherwise the message they get is ‘if I want their attention or a toy, all I have to do is bite their hand first!’ Remember that pups are all about cause and effect – action and reaction.
• Don’t forget that even in play, your pup is learning the do’s and don’t of your world. Playing fetch? Don’t just throw the ball, grab it out of their mouth when they return and throw it again…. This is a great opportunity to teach them, “DROP IT,” “SIT,” and “STAY.” It helps them learn boundaries, limits, impulse control, and builds trust that you’re not trying to ‘steal’ their toy, but if they give it to you, the game can continue and is much more fun! Add in that if you have youngsters in the house, teaching your pup to give you what is in their mouth on command is vital: it reduces the chance of ‘possession aggression’ and the possible risk of your child going to take something from their mouths and getting bitten.
• Lastly (for this article anyway, because a pup’s training never really ends!) don’t wrestle with them or allow them to jump on you during play. A 5 lb. pup at eight weeks old jumping on you may not seem like a big deal, but it will be hard for them to understand why you suddenly do not want it anymore when they are 40 lbs.!

So what about the dog you already have?

1. Warning signs you might want to be aware of:

• Not sure you can predict how your dog is going to react by their body language? Here are some suggestions: When it comes to your dog, you need to keep an eye on the overall picture. Don’t go by just a wagging tail. How they are holding their tail? Is it standing straight up, or tucked between their legs with just the tip wagging? Is the fur standing up on the back of their neck? Is their head up or lowered and level with their back? If you are not sure… please do not take chances.; call a professional in to evaluate them.

I recently had a client who called me in for their dog’s aggressive issues, and told me, “He bites without warning.” After working with him for 45 minutes, he was lying down and nodding off. I asked them all to look closely and tell me if the dog looked relaxed to them. They laughed and all agreed he was very relaxed. Then I pointed out what I saw…. The muscles in his shoulders and back legs were tight and rigid, toes were curled, ears were back… I did NOT see a relaxed dog. To prove my point, I made sure they had a good hold on the leash, then I got up and took a few steps forward. The owners were shocked as the dog sprang to life in full defensive mode. If I had moved without making sure they had a firm grip on the leash, he would have successfully gotten to me.

• What if your dogs actions indicate they’re highly fearful?
  • First, don’t assume in the ‘fight or flight’ scenario, they will always choose flight and run away! This can be a very dangerous assumption! It gives you a false sense of security when your dog typically ‘slinks away’ from something they are afraid of, allowing you to lower your guard. You never know what ‘trigger’ might put them over the edge. I’m not sure the exact number, but I do know a huge percentage of dogs that bite strike out of fear. It is vital that you work on confidence building skills with them such as following commands. Dogs who are focused, mentally stimulated, and understand exactly what is expected of them are much more solid and stable animals.
  • Second, and most importantly, do not coddle or pity them!! This is the worst thing you can do! It encourages the negative behavior even more! In the wild, there is no empathy or sympathy. Pack members instinctively align themselves with and respect the “strong” pack leader. They know… A leader will keep them alive…. a weak member may get them killed. The pack leader keeps order by setting clear cut boundaries, limits, and rules. Your fearful dog will gain a sense of security when they know exactly what it is you want and expect of them. When you become the pack leader they will respect, depend on and listen to you.

Finally, I will say what I always say: Children should NEVER be left alone and unattended with any dog. Even the most calm, stable, and non-reactive dog can ‘have a moment’ where they do not want to be bothered, or they might be having some pain you are unaware of, or not feeling well. Remember, a bite can happen in the blink of an eye!

To wrap this up, remember that choosing the right puppy from the get-go really can make a huge difference in the relationship with your entire family, especially the kids. But if the pup or dog is already established in the household, there are many things you can do to establish and maintain a peaceful and safe home. And one last note to add…. A nipping pup is normal…. They are teething… and just like it did for your human baby, the chewing helps soothe the pain. Correcting the behavior and giving them something you deem acceptable to chew on will help your dog to understand that you are in charge, that there are boundaries and limits they must adhere to and will help them build a healthy respect and bond with you and your family that will last their lifetime.

Improve Your Young Child’s Sleep

Last updated on May 3rd, 2025 at 06:02 pm

As parents know all too well, young children are notorious for resisting sleep. Just the mention of bedtime can sometimes set off a toddler tantrum.

Help your little bundle of energy head to dreamland and get the rest he needs with these toddler sleep tips.

Create a quiet routine

A game of chase or dancing around to music may seem like a surefire way to tire out your toddler, but a quiet, soothing routine before bed is a better choice for sleep success. Try reading a story together or giving your child a bath right before bedtime. Practice makes perfect, and repeating your bedtime ritual every night will help signal to your toddler that it’s time to get ready for sleep.

Be consistent

To establish a good sleep pattern, try to put your toddler to bed at the same time every night. Your tot may resist going to bed (can you blame him for not wanting to miss out on the after-hours fun?), but remaining firm about the rules will help a fuss-free bedtime become the norm instead of the exception.

Give your toddler a “lovey”

Letting your toddler sleep with her favorite blanket, teddy bear, or toy will help comfort her, especially if she wakes up in the middle of the night. Let her choose her lovey, but make sure what she picks is safe — avoid toys or stuffed animals with ribbons, buttons, or anything that could be considered a choking hazard.

Set up the bedroom for success

A room that’s quiet, dark, and set to a comfortable temperature will encourage your toddler to fall — and stay — asleep. Before you tuck your child in, check that she has everything she needs to get through the night. This will decrease the chance that she’ll call you back to her bedroom. If she does cry out for you, resist the urge to rush in immediately. Instead, wait 15 seconds before reentering the room. If she calls out multiple times, gradually increase the amount of time you wait to go in, giving her the chance to fall back asleep without your help.

Keep an eye on naptime

Most young children this age need between 12 and 14 hours of sleep each day, which can be split up between nighttime sleeping and daytime naps. But snoozing too late in the day can cause your toddler to have difficulty dozing off in the evening. If this is the case, slowly inch back the time of day she naps (a drastic change can completely throw off her schedule). If she goes to day care, try to have naptime there and at home be as consistent as possible.

Following these guidelines should help bedtime go more smoothly over time. Of course, life can sometimes get in the way, but if it does, just aim to get back on track the next evening.

6 Things New Parents Need to Know About Car Safety

Last updated on January 17th, 2026 at 07:02 pm

As a new parent, baby safety is your top priority – and keeping your newborn safe in the car is most likely on your mind. Here’s what you need to know about safety on the road.

1. Be car-seat safe. You know that an infant car seat will help protect your child in the event of a crash. But make sure the seat has a sturdy harness system, is placed rear-facing, and has padding around the sides to support your baby. Also check that your car seat is installed safely. If you’re unsure, find a certified car seat inspector near you at SeatCheck.org.

2. Buckle up, always. Speaking of car seats, your baby should always be in one when you’re in a vehicle. It might be more fun to hold her and buckle up together, but an infant (or a child) should never ride in your arms.

3. Babies in the back. You might be tempted to put your baby’s car seat up front so you can keep a closer eye on him while you’re driving, but don’t. The backseat is the safest and best for babies and children, who could easily get hurt by a deployed air bag if you were to get into an accident.

4. Watch the windows. To keep your baby’s fingers from ever getting pinched, always look before closing automatic windows. Keep them closed by turning on the child window locks.

5. Never talk or text while driving. A whopping 78 percent of moms admit to talking on their phones while driving (and 26 percent say they text or check email). You’ve heard it a million times, but here it is again: Never use your phone to talk or text while you drive – it’s just not worth the risk.

6. Always bring your baby with you. Don’t leave your baby alone in the car while you pop into stores to run errands, or for any reason at all. Children’s bodies heat up faster than adults’, and the temperature inside your car can jump 20°F in just 10 minutes! That puts your baby at serious risk for overheating, and even having heatstroke, or worse.

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