Grandparents Raising Grandkids: 10 Tips to Ease the Transition

Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:14 pm

In September of 2010, a poll by Pew Research found that the number of children being raised by their grandparents rose sharply since the start of the recession in 2007.
In fact, one in 10 grandparents were raising their children’s children. Statistics further show 2.9 million children or four percent of all U.S. children being raised by at least one grandparent.

In an earlier report, Pew said the number of households composed of multiple generations is higher than it has been in half a century. Parenting is tough enough as it is, but for grandparents who had dreams of retirement and are stepping in all over again, there are unique challenges for the new parent as well as the child.

Why the New Grandparenting Trend

How the child is impacted by this new relationship depends upon the reason for the arrangement as well as a few factors including the child’s age and temperament, the relationship between the child and grandparents, and the health, resources, and parenting abilities of the Grandparents. In the vast number of cases Grandma and Gramps are creating a far safer and more secure home environment for their grandkids.

Economic hardship recession is clearly the biggest reason for the trend. Parents lost their jobs or their homes and can’t afford to raise their children. But other factors weigh in for the shift: Unfit parenting due to drug or abuse is the second reason and the grandparents are trying to save grandkids from the foster care system. Military parents facing multiple deployments are entrusting their children to their parents. Whatever the reason, more grandparents are stepping up and stepping in to parent.

New Crop of Grandparents: Younger, Healthier, Wiser

It turns out today’s grandparent crop is the youngest and healthiest ever which is good news for the kids. Almost two-thirds of these grandparents are under 60 – their average age is 57. Because baby boomers had their first child about five years earlier than mothers today, they are the first generation of grandparents most likely to become great-grandparents. And they are taking their new parenting role very seriously, are highly committed, and most give themselves high marks.

Researchers at Stanford University suggest that older or “second time dads” may improve in their parenting and older dads are a growing trend. (Think: David Letterman, Rod Stewart, Kenny Rogers, Michael Douglas, Larry King, Paul McCartney and Kevin Costner who all fathered children in their 50s, 60s or 70s -some younger than these grandparents). Findings seem to support a notion that age produces far more than just wrinkles and gray hair: wisdom and parenting priorities come with those years. A few interesting tidbits about older dads parenting:

• Older dads are more involved in child rearing, more visible and want to be actively involved in childrearing.
• Older dads are more nurturing, warmer, generous with affection, and more relaxed and calmer in their parenting.
• Older dads are more willing to share child responsibility. In fact, three times more likely to do so than younger dads.

Tips for Grandparents In Your New Role

1. Center on a smooth transition. The key priority is to help the child adjust to the new living arrangement as smoothly as possible. There will be bumps so expect them. Prioritize on helping the child transition and see this as his new home. Bring what you need (bed, bedspread, his favorite dish, clothes, bureau) as well as his health and school records and personal photos to help him adjust.
2. Introduce yourself as the primary caregiver. Let others (parents, teachers, coaches) know your role: You are the parent. Answer those questions with pride.
3. Don’t stress stuff you can’t do. Forget camping out in that pup tent with your child on those scouting overnighters. (You’ll hate yourself the next morning). Playing those rough, game of hoops on the asphalt won’t do much for your knees either. Don’t stress over what you can’t do with the child. Don’t worry if your finances are tight. You’re giving your child the most priceless gift there is: a safe and loving home.
4. Focus on activities you can share. Attend those musical, ballgames, movies, and dinners with the kids. Find and do the things you enjoy together. Remember, kids consider TIME together to equal love. Find those common connectors and build a relationship with your child. With age comes wisdom: older parents are more likely to focus on quality not quantity. They also know that while there are no guarantees in how their kids turn out, research proves that the strength of the parent-child relationship is the best way to raising emotionally-healthy kids. Focus on that relationship.
5. Keep the old, but create the new. A key goal is to create as smooth of a transition as possible and rebuild normalcy for the child. Family rituals create memories and can build security so continue past meaningful routines that are meaningful to the child (like opening presents at Christmas Eve, the special coconut birthday cake, or bedtime routines). But also create new rituals that are unique and bond him to his new family.
6. Preserve the child’s dignity and privacy. If there was a traumatic reason (such as parental substance abuse, incarceration, loss of a home), keep an open dialogue with the child. Better to hear those details from you than someone else. You may want to withhold more traumatic and unflattering details about the child’s parents until he is more mature.
7. Create a comeback. Chances are peers will ask why the child is living with you. Though a child never needs to give any personal and unflattering past family history, you may want to help create a simple explanation or “comeback” without all the sordid facts since she’s bound to be asked so she’s prepared.
8. Seek counseling. Watch your grandchild carefully and tune into your grandchild’s emotional needs. Chances are you and the child will need psychological services to help you deal with any trauma in his past home. Seek help of a trained mental health professional, your clergy, as well as a school counselor, nurse and school psychologist.
9. Get a support group. Older parents admit that one of the tougher and unique problems is that they lack a support group of parents their own age. Seek out online Grandparent Groups that are growing. AARP is another great source to offer support.
10. Take care of you. Parenting is tough, but especially so when you’re dealing with a traumatic situation, financial hardship and you’re older. Join a health club, get those health check-ups, and watch your diet. A healthier, happier parent always produces a happier kid.

Youngest Citizens Are Forgotten Casualties of the Economy

The financial crunch is continuing to impact our society and our youngest citizens may well be forgotten statistics. Grandparents have always played a key role in child rearing, but from all indicators it seems they’ve moved far up on the “significant notch.”

On a personal note, I’ve dealt with a number of foster care cases and the grandparents were nothing short than miracle workers to the child. Grandpa and Grandma are absolute lifesavers. There are a number of lucky children who are blessed to have you in their lives.

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Dr Borba’s book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, is one of the most comprehensive parenting book for kids 3 to 13. This down-to-earth guide offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure and much more. Each of the 101 challenging parenting issues includes specific step-by-step solutions and practical advice that is age appropriate based on the latest research . The Big Book of Parenting Solutions is available at amazon.com

The Terrible Twos: A Normal Child Development Stage

Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:14 pm

It happens to every parent: One day you notice your sweet, loving baby has morphed into a defiant, tantrum-prone child who’s moody for no reason and loves to say no. Don’t worry, it’s a normal part of child development, and your child is just pushing the envelope, testing his boundaries to see what you’ll allow him to get away with.

Here’s how to get through this tougher side of childhood.

Why the twos can be terrible

Imagine that you’ve suddenly gone through a major developmental spurt that’s given you the ability to communicate, think, and even move like never before. It’s sort of like having superpowers – and naturally, you want to test them out to see how far they’ll get you. That’s sort of what life is like for your child during this stage. And when frustration occurs (perhaps brought on by the fact that you told him he cannot stay up past his bedtime), his mood may change, he may tell you no, or he may send a tantrum your way.

How to get through it

The most important thing to remember during this phase is to not take it personally. Just because your child tried to bite you in a fit of rage doesn’t actually mean he loves you less. He’s just frustrated. The best way to help him cope with his negative feelings is to boost his confidence, which will actually help him feel more independent (and, consequently, less frustrated). Here’s how.

Encourage exploration

Let your child feed his curiosity by allowing him to explore his world as much as possible in a safe way. If something’s not safe, tell him no – he’ll eventually come to learn what’s acceptable and what isn’t.

Offer praise

Boost your child’s self-esteem by letting him know when he’s done a good job. If he plays nicely with his friend or completes the task you asked him to (like changing into his pajamas), tell him how happy and proud you are.

Be consistent

Even though your child may be continuously reaching milestones, he might still have his bad days – don’t we all! Don’t let a tantrum or bad mood throw your resolve. Soon, he’ll grow out of it!

I’m A Special Needs Soccer Mom …she’s come a long way, baby

Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm

My child is now on a soccer team. That seems like such a mundane statement, and the driving to and from games and the extra strain to find time to do homework and make dinner is wearing me out. But in the middle of it all I try to take a moment to remember that the fact that she is on a soccer team is not mundane at all – in fact, it is almost miraculous! Doctors told us she might never walk or talk, and yet there she is up and down the field, calling to her teammates. Yes, her legs might be a bit more stiff than the other girls and yes, sometimes her teammates don’t exactly understand what she is saying but for the most part she is just another girl on the team. She is ecstatic when they win and sullen when they lose, just like all the other girls. At one point my baby was labeled “failure to thrive” and the doctor started strongly suggesting a feeding tube. We resisted and worked on finding another answer.

This year at her annual checkup I got a lecture about how much weight she has gained the past year.

When we first got her diagnosis and grim predictions for her future I remember telling my family that I couldn’t allow myself to be upset about a future that might never happen – I had infant twins in my care, plus their toddler big brother. I was buried in diapers, feedings, laundry and medicine schedules. I was too tired to be upset. I had no choice but to take it one moment at a time. Of course I wanted to crawl under a rock, but babies have a way of demanding things, like food and attention and clean clothes.

If you have a newly diagnosed special needs child I am not saying don’t worry, everything will be fine. But I am saying to listen to your doctors, do your research, find support and take it one moment at a time – one bottle, one Sesame Street song or one load of laundry at a time.

Did You Know You Can Impact How Fast Your Child Learns?

Last updated on March 15th, 2026 at 08:13 pm

US researchers Betty Hart and Tod Risley had devoted their lives to developing pre-school programs to bring poor underachieving children up to the level of learning of professors’ children. After years of research and work they realised, ‘We failed!’

They concluded that the rate at which a child’s vocabulary grows is a key to the child’s growth in intelligence . . . But

‘Vocabulary growth rates are unalterable by age four’. Something is happening in the homes before children come to early learning programs that enables rapid vocabulary growth.

Consequently they changed the direction of their research and organised a major research project to find out what was happening in the children’s homes before age four.

“The data revealed that,

• In an average hour together, some parents spent more than 40 minutes interacting with their child, and other parents spent less than 15 minutes.
• Some parents responded more than 250 times an hour to their child, and other responded fewer than 50 times.
• Some parents expressed approval and encouragement of their child’s actions more than 40 times an hour, and others less than 4 times.
• Some parents said more than 3,000 words to their child in an average hour together, and others said fewer than 500 words.
• The data showed that, for each family, the amount the parents talked to their children was so consistent over time that the differences in the children’s language experience, mounting up month by month, were enormous by age 3.”[1]

“With few exceptions, the more parents talked to their children, the faster the children’s vocabularies were growing and the higher the children’s IQ test scores at age 3 and later.  Amount of parent talk accounted for all the correlation between socioeconomic status (and/or race) and the verbal intellectual accomplishments of these 42 young American children.” [2]

Another discovery of Hart and Risley’s work is that families have two kinds of talk—which Hart and Risley call ‘Business talk’ and ‘Extra talk’.

The amount of business talk was similar in all families: “Come here”, “Stop that”, “It’s 12 o’clock.”  But there were large differences in the amount of “Extra talk” and these differences were particularly related to children’s intellectual growth.

“. . .  when parents engaged children in more talk than was needed to take care of business, the content changed automatically.  When parents began to discuss feelings, plans, present activities, and past events, the vocabulary became more varied and the descriptions richer in nuances.  Their talk also became more positive and responsive to their children’s talk.”[3]

The “style” of non-business talk was similar across parents.  The difference was how often such “extra” talk occurred.

“  . . .  the most important aspect of children’s language experience is its amount.”  

If parents need to place very young children in childcare, Hart and Risley say,

“the most important aspect to evaluate in child care settings for very young children is the amount of talk actually going on, moment by moment, between children and their caregivers.”[4]

Researchers assume that the speaking of many words to the child, in the home, forces the child’s brain to make many more connections between neurons, and so build a more efficient brain.

References:

• [1]  Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1995. Meaningful Differences in the Everyday Life of Young American Children. Baltimore, London, Sydney: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Company.  p. xx.
  Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1999. The Social World of Children Learning to Talk. Baltimore, London, Sydney: Paul Brookes Publishing Co.
• [2]  Hart, Betty, and Todd Risley. 1995. Meaningful Differences in the Everyday Life of Young American Children. p. xx
• [3] Meaningful Differences, p. xx.
• [4] Meaningful Differences, p. xi.

Tips for Parents of Kids Entering the Entertainment Industry

Last updated on September 27th, 2025 at 12:09 am

It all started when our daughter was 11 months old. I remember the day clearly.  She was sitting in an infant seat in a neighborhood McDonald’s when a stranger walked up to our table and handed my husband a dollar bill.

“Your daughter is so pretty with her red – hair and I want to just give you some money to buy her something. You should get her an agent – she really is pretty.”

We were both at a loss for words. What was the meaning of this action? We were perplexed.  And yes, as the years passed and her mane of red – curly hair grew, our young daughter continued to attract attention and we continued to be offered all kinds of “career” advice for her.  So, it came as no surprise when she was about seven years old that our first – born announced she wanted to be on television like the Olsen twins from Full House. Luckily, we were able to postpone our budding thespian to the age of twelve.

In retrospect, I wish I had researched what to expect when you have a child join the professional world of the performing arts.  Most of what I learned was through trial and error, word of mouth and a few books or articles that gave a realistic perspective.  This article is my way of educating parents of talented kids what I wish we had known.

In no certain order:

1. Have a life of balance, set limits, and give assurances.

I am a firm believer that kids need to be kids. They need to run and play and figure out life on the playground and not on a movie set or on stage. However, there are some children that have a passion for the performing arts and for them being in this realm IS their form of play.  How to create balance while not squashing talent? Allow your child to safely explore and develop skills.  Let their creative juices flow by putting a video camera in their hands to practice their monologues or allow them to write their own scripts. This may be their way of seeking enjoyment in a healthy and constructive manner.

 Be mindful of the child who is hyper-focused on “the career” and not allowing balance. This is a child who may be feeling an overwhelming sense of pressure to perform, fear of rejection or worried that walking away would be huge disappointment to the parent(s). Allow them to walk away.  No amount of fame or money is worth the emotional health of a child.

…And what about the financial piece?

Reassure your child that at the end of the day all will be OK if the part is not secured, the role is cut, etc.  Some children carry a huge burden that they believe their family is depending on their success for income. Not only is that an emotional strain that creates a huge amount of stress, but also, it is not fair if the parents do indeed say that.

Read a recent CNN article about when parents put too much pressure on their children.

2. The whole family joins in this venture – whether they want to or not!

In the movie FAME there is a famous line when a young performer gets accepted in to the school for the performing arts.  The mother shouts, “WE made it!”  

This scene may be from a Hollywood production, but in fact is a reality in homes worldwide. You may not realize it, but the whole family joins the entertainment business when a family member does.  Schedules may need to be rearranged.  Financial burden may result due to lack of parental wages (a parent or appointed guardian must accompany a minor) and music, acting and dance teachers need to be paid.

And, then there are the siblings.  What becomes of them when their parent(s) are busy with the actor in the family? Who brings them to football practice or gymnastics? Why does everyone pay attention to the one child who is a musical prodigy and not to them?  The siblings are the ones’ that often concern me the most as what will they do to shine the spotlight on themselves if they don’t receive the same attention as their more “famous” sibling. And how will the family dynamic change when the performing child moves from the home to seek fortune in fame in Hollywood, Broadway or other destinations? Which parent will join and which will remain at home?  It is important to keep tabs on the emotional and physical health of all in the family when you are parenting the talented.  Many families can negotiate with ease the changes in family dynamic while others find the pressure insurmountable.  Family meetings can be helpful to keep the lines of communication open and all in check.

Sometimes the child and family will get caught up in the excitement of the entertainment world.  There even may be some early successes or awards offered that give the child a false sense that they are beyond the need for education.  “They already have a job – so why go to school?”

Parents let me tell you as an educator and a parent to a child who did have success at a young age – education MUST be a priority.  Why? Simply, because at the end of the day there are a thousand cute red – headed girls who are all very talented.   And not everyone can be the principal dancer at ABT.

Imagine what life would be like for the child if they did not have a proper educational foundation?  In this competitive world we as parents are responsible for providing an education for our child that will give them building blocks for the future.  Moreover, emphasize that college IS the plan or at the very least- the back up plan!

Read about famous child performers who have attended college

And learn how education is listed as a top priority within the performing arts industry, too. Read more

4. Safety also MUST be a priority.

This is a business where you need to go to the thousandth mile in doing your due diligence.  There are a lot of good people in the entertainment industry.  Many will actually care about your child.  But in reality, there also are creeps and scammers.  The problem is that the good guys look and sound a lot like the bad guys.  That is when you get to become the “parent sleuth”.  Investigate the person who claims to be the “best acting coach in town.”  Be an advocate for your child when it comes to issues of safety by checking on licensure and reputation of all involved.

Recommendations for keeping a minor safe in the entertainment industry: Read here

5. Learn who does what role in the industry and where to find concrete information that is reliable and valid. Click the links below for great resources.

• Screen Actors Guild and American Federation of Television and Radio Artists
• Talent Managers
• Talent Agents
• Resources for children with special needs in the acting field
• Read how the Coogan Laws keep your child’s finances safe.

NOTE: For headshots, sizzle reels, etc. please use only reputable and recommended resources.  And never allow your child, tween or teen go to a headshot session or audition alone.

In closing, a child working in the performing arts can be exposed to some wonderful opportunities and fun.  It can be an amazing experience and one the whole family can enjoy.  I wish all who pursue this adventure much success!

“Break a leg!”

News On Dog Attacks Is Scary – Is Your Dog “Child Friendly”?

Last updated on July 6th, 2025 at 03:16 pm

This year alone, we seem to be hearing more and more stories in the news about dog attacks, even among us trainers we notice the increase of instances! But no headline stops our hearts as much as when we see ‘Child Mauled by Family Dog’. So it stands to reason that parents who were not concerned before, are now (understandably) worried if their own lovable family pet they’ve had for years would be capable of inflicting harm to their child, and question if they would be able to tell the difference between a ‘typical’ puppy teething nip, and when it may be a pre-curser to a more serious issue.

The fact is, young puppies have sharp needle-like teeth, and It hurts when they nip! And if they happen to get just the right spot, or nip a child’s tender fragile skin, a puppy meaning no harm can still draw blood from a nip! So how can you tell the meaning behind it and when you should be concerned?

The first place to start in answering some of these questions would be to better define certain words that are thrown around in the media a bit too quickly…. The top two being “Attack” and “Aggression.” When I’m talking to a customer, and they say, “My dog keeps attacking my son” I have to consciously remind myself to ask many questions… because usually, after a few simple answers from them, I can ascertain that they just mean the dog keeps running up to and jumping on their child… not that this is okay or acceptable behavior, but definitely a far cry from the dog ‘attacking’ their child.

In Miriam Webster’s Dictionary, the words aggression and attack go hand-in-hand with the words “forceful”, “hostile” and “offensive against”.  If this doesn’t sound like your dog, then before we get into some of the things you may want to keep an eye on, hopefully this will help ease your worry about two things that probably shouldn’t keep you up at night.

So now that we have a better understanding of these two words, often, it all boils down to intent. There are many signs your dog will emit regarding their intent long before an actual bite occurs. Although on occasion it does happen, it is very rare that a dog will suddenly strike out without provocation or warning signs. The problem is for the average every day person, those signs can be very subtle. To learn more about what your dog’s body might be telling you, please read my previous article.

But for now, let’s break down some things to be wary of, and then add in some important ‘do’s and don’ts’.

First…if you have a puppy:

1. Warning signs you might want to be aware of:

• A pup that is guarding their food or Toys: When they are eating or chewing a toy, if they suddenly stop and their body seems to ‘freeze’ whenever there is movement around them, it can be cause for concern. If you see this behavior, do not allow the kids around the pup until you investigate further. A safe way for YOU to test this is to tie the leash to something strong, solid and unmovable. Before attaching him to the leash, see how far the leash extends in any given direction. Now put him on the leash, put his food bowl down within his reach and walk away. Once he starts eating, calmly and assertively walk by (taking care to remain outside of the leash’s reach) and watch his reaction closely. If he reacts negatively in any way (growling, lunging, freezing, etc.) or you are unsure, it might be a good idea to call in a professional to evaluate him. A great resource to find a professional trainer near you is the International Association of Canine Professionals
• A pup that is relentlessly biting, no matter how often you correct it: Again, this could be a major issue later on. Many scientists did extensive research on this and found that there are many vital and valuable lessons a pup receives through play with the mother and littermates. Sometimes when a pup is separated from them too soon (prior to eight weeks of age) there are certain behavioral issues that are often very difficult to break because they do not learn bite-inhibition… they don’t understand that biting really hurts!  In this scenario, early intervention is essential.
• Any pup showing early signs of neurological deficits: Walking with their head constantly leaning to one side, their gait unsteady, etc. Make sure you discuss any concerns you may have with your vet.

2. Some Important Do’s:

• Encourage calm, gentle interactions and petting of the puppy by all members of the family. Just like you did “Tummy Time” with your baby, encourage “Back Time” with your pup. Put them on their backs and while holding them there, gently stroke them. This is a submissive position for a dog/pup and allows you to be the ‘alpha’ (or top dog). Make sure to also gently rub and message their paws… including the pads… on a regular basis right from the start. You’re building trust and bonding with your puppy
• Remember that at this stage, everything is a learning experience for your pup, so start setting the rules and boundaries in place immediately. At this life-stage, they are thirsty for knowledge and desperately want to please you!
• Make sure everything ‘matches’: Your body language, tone, and your words. If they are doing something wrong, don’t say the word ‘NO’ softly to them while continuing to pet them. When we tell a child no, it is usually coupled with a denial of a privilege or the removal or refusal of something they want. Thus, the word quickly gains its meaning for them. But if you are petting your pup and cooing, “no, no” you confuse the meaning of the word. Stop the petting, stiffen your body slightly (this clearly tells them you are not happy with their actions) and say “NO!” very clearly. When they stop what they are doing, relax your posture, lower your voice and praise calmly.

3. Some Important Don’ts:

• When playing, don’t wiggle your fingers in their face or make your hands a toy. Remember, teaching them first that this is an okay form of play, then getting upset when they’re biting your hand is a very confusing mixed message for them.
• Be aware not to just replace your hand with a toy when they’re nipping without including a correction first. Correcting before replacing is a very important step you don’t want to miss… otherwise the message they get is ‘if I want their attention or a toy, all I have to do is bite their hand first!’ Remember that pups are all about cause and effect – action and reaction.
• Don’t forget that even in play, your pup is learning the do’s and don’t of your world. Playing fetch? Don’t just throw the ball, grab it out of their mouth when they return and throw it again…. This is a great opportunity to teach them, “DROP IT,” “SIT,” and “STAY.” It helps them learn boundaries, limits, impulse control, and builds trust that you’re not trying to ‘steal’ their toy, but if they give it to you, the game can continue and is much more fun! Add in that if you have youngsters in the house, teaching your pup to give you what is in their mouth on command is vital: it reduces the chance of ‘possession aggression’ and the possible risk of your child going to take something from their mouths and getting bitten.
• Lastly (for this article anyway, because a pup’s training never really ends!) don’t wrestle with them or allow them to jump on you during play. A 5 lb. pup at eight weeks old jumping on you may not seem like a big deal, but it will be hard for them to understand why you suddenly do not want it anymore when they are 40 lbs.!

So what about the dog you already have? 

1. Warning signs you might want to be aware of:

• Not sure you can predict how your dog is going to react by their body language? Here are some suggestions: When it comes to your dog, you need to keep an eye on the overall picture. Don’t go by just a wagging tail. How they are holding their tail? Is it standing straight up, or tucked between their legs with just the tip wagging? Is the fur standing up on the back of their neck? Is their head up or lowered and level with their back? If you are not sure… please do not take chances.; call a professional in to evaluate them.

I recently had a client who called me in for their dog’s aggressive issues, and told me, “He bites without warning.” After working with him for 45 minutes, he was lying down and nodding off.  I asked them all to look closely and tell me if the dog looked relaxed to them. They laughed and all agreed he was very relaxed. Then I pointed out what I saw…. The muscles in his shoulders and back legs were tight and rigid, toes were curled, ears were back… I did NOT see a relaxed dog. To prove my point, I made sure they had a good hold on the leash, then I got up and took a few steps forward. The owners were shocked as the dog sprang to life in full defensive mode. If I had moved without making sure they had a firm grip on the leash, he would have successfully gotten to me.

• What if your dogs actions indicate they’re highly fearful?
  • First, don’t assume in the ‘fight or flight’ scenario, they will always choose flight and run away! This can be a very dangerous assumption! It gives you a false sense of security when your dog typically ‘slinks away’ from something they are afraid of, allowing you to lower your guard. You never know what ‘trigger’ might put them over the edge. I’m not sure the exact number, but I do know a huge percentage of dogs that bite strike out of fear. It is vital that you work on confidence building skills with them such as following commands. Dogs who are focused, mentally stimulated, and understand exactly what is expected of them are much more solid and stable animals.
  • Second, and most importantly, do not coddle or pity them!! This is the worst thing you can do! It encourages the negative behavior even more! In the wild, there is no empathy or sympathy. Pack members instinctively align themselves with and respect the “strong” pack leader. They know… A leader will keep them alive…. a weak member may get them killed. The pack leader keeps order by setting clear cut boundaries, limits, and rules. Your fearful dog will gain a sense of security when they know exactly what it is you want and expect of them.  When you become the pack leader they will respect, depend on and listen to you.

Finally, I will say what I always say: Children should NEVER be left alone and unattended with any dog.  Even the most calm, stable, and non-reactive dog can ‘have a moment’ where they do not want to be bothered, or they might be having some pain you are unaware of, or not feeling well. Remember, a bite can happen in the blink of an eye!

To wrap this up, remember that choosing the right puppy from the get-go really can make a huge difference in the relationship with your entire family, especially the kids. But if the pup or dog is already established in the household, there are many things you can do to establish and maintain a peaceful  and safe home. And one last note to add…. A nipping pup is normal…. They are teething… and just like it did for your human baby, the chewing helps soothe the pain. Correcting the behavior and giving them something you deem acceptable to chew on will help your dog to understand that you are in charge, that there are boundaries and limits they must adhere to and will help them build a healthy respect and bond with you and your family that will last their lifetime.

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