Should Your Child Take The New Fidget Toy Out For A Spin?
Last updated on May 29th, 2017 at 11:28 am
Fidget toys called Spinners have become a huge fad for kids. They all seem to love them. Meanwhile, most teachers and parents seem to hate them. In fact, Spinners are being banned in many schools. Some kids are crushed and some parents are furious. Where do you stand? Let’s take a look at Spinners and fidget toys in general and see if we can figure out this issue.
Old school types usually say, “Why are kids being allowed to bring toys to school these days? Why can’t they just sit still?” Here’s the thing – kids have always needed to fidget. They have been tapping pencils, wiggling their feet, chewing their nails, drawing on notebooks and countless other things since formal schooling began. Some of this behavior is expected by teachers, and they know how to manage it in their classrooms. But for some kids, movement is imperative.
Kids who have learning disabilities, or are on the autism spectrum, or have other challenges really DO need to move. It’s not that they are being disruptive, it’s just the way they are wired. Some schools today are getting rid of recess and PE, leaving these kids even less opportunity to be physically active during their day. This leaves kids with even more need to fidget.
Enter the fidget toy. A true fidget is not really a toy but more of a therapeutic tool. The first one I ever saw was an elastic band that was tied across the legs of a desk or a chair and the student could bounce their legs on the band. Some fidgets are much less physically active – putty has been gaining ground in classrooms lately. Rubik’s Cube is a classic example of a fidget for the hands, but it can be loud and distracting to the other students. Fidgets don’t all have to have a solution or an endpoint. Putty can be sculpted into something, but it can also be simply manipulated for the sensory input. In a classroom with an inclusive population, where some kids have special needs and some are “typical” as the term goes, can you allow some students to have these items and say no to the others? This creates even more issues in a classroom.
Enter the Spinner. They come in many colors and materials, and some even light up. They are very well named – they spin. That’s all they do. Some have one circle, others have three, and you can move the spinning bearing to change the motion and the sensation.
All people are drawn to spinning items, this is why there is a now a job called sign spinner, why children have played with spinning tops all throughout history and why pinwheels and whirligigs have been popular since they were invented in China in 400 BC (yes, I did my research). People on the autism spectrum are especially drawn to spinning items, so I could see Spinners calming a tantrum (I work with special needs kids and know first hand that tantrums don’t only happen to toddlers). But in reality they are just being used to show off the latest color or model and taunt the kids who don’t have them. They are also being used as weapons, to poke or spin on someone else’s skin. Eventually they will end up being thrown at someone. They do sort of look like Ninja stars, and many manufacturers have Ninja Star Spinners so clearly I am not the only one who made the connection – and some of those types look very sharp!
To see what all the hype is about I played with one. The key word is PLAYED – it is certainly a toy. If you change the heavy part to one of the outer rings it does have an interesting weighed effect, but I really only see the benefits for kids with special needs and/or sensory issues. I think Spinners would be useful for kids who stim, not necessarily for kids who fidget. You can find a good Spinner for that here.
Self-stimulatory behavior, also known as stimming and self-stimulation, is the repetition of physical movements, sounds, or repetitive movement of objects common in individuals with developmental disabilities, but most prevalent in people with autism spectrum disorders. It is considered a way in which autistic people calm and stimulate themselves. Another theory is that stimming is a way to relieve anxiety, and other emotions. Common stimming behaviors (sometimes called stims) include repeating noises or words and spinning objects. …Wikipedia
A compromise might be to establish rules for when, where and how Spinners may be used. Parents and/or teachers could brainstorm some rules as well as consequences. Maybe they can be used at recess but not in the classroom, or maybe if the class finishes the day’s lesson plan early they would be given some time at the end of class to bring out their Spinners, which might even encourage better classroom behavior. Perhaps they could be attached to the underside of desks so they can be spun out of sight.
While doing research I also found some Youtube videos that teach Spinner tricks which might get the kids up and active trying to balance, toss and catch the toy. There are also instructions for making your own Spinners, so break out the craft supplies and turn off the video games!
Feeling Helpless? Reframe “I Can’t” For Your Special Needs Child
Last updated on June 5th, 2017 at 12:57 am
Learned helplessness is defined by Google as a condition in which a person suffers from a sense of powerlessness, arising from a traumatic event or persistent failure to succeed. It is thought to be one of the underlying causes of depression. But I think we need to question ourselves and our children more often and challenge this assumed defeat. This helplessness can become a bad habit and we need to find opportunities to make new, better habits.
The other day I was (once again) at the orthodontist with one of my kids. I should have used the restroom before I left work, but I knew we had this appointment and I didn’t want to lose any time. I made my way in the usual ridiculous traffic, picked up my son and we rushed along to the dentist. I practically ran from my car to the lobby, rode the elevator and hurried across the hall to the office…where I saw a teenage girl take the women’s room key and leave. I know it is a one-person bathroom so I wasn’t going to get in until she was finished.
I sat down, crushed, but figured it would only be another few minutes. The time stretched out and she was still not back. Then it hit me – why was I torturing myself? What would happen if I didn’t follow the standard practice? I stood up and took the men’s room key. I mean, all I needed was plumbing – does it really matter what the sign on the door says? I knew it was single occupancy so I wasn’t going to go barging in on a group of guys.
I remember when my child was younger and would tell me that she couldn’t read, yet she managed to navigate the television’s on-screen guide to find the show she wanted to watch. Sometimes the familiar “I can’t read” response was an excuse to get out of homework, sometimes it was a plea for attention or assistance and sometimes it was just a bad habit that no longer served any purpose.
So I urge you to question everything for yourself and for your child with special needs. Re-examine skills from time to time. Check back in on tasks that were challenging in the past. And also, take a long look at your thoughts and assumptions.
Helpful Car Shopping Tips for Special Needs Parents
Last updated on March 2nd, 2018 at 12:12 pm
Car shopping overwhelms me. In many ways it’s exciting, but I am not good with all the little details. I also do not need every single bell and whistle – I just need a reliable, safe vehicle to load up with my kids and putter around town or occasionally go somewhere a bit farther. Also it should get excellent gas mileage and offer an affordable monthly payment, of course.
Every parent of a special needs child will have a unique list of requirements and requests, just like every driver likes things a certain way. For me, a dark cloth seat is important. My special needs child tends to spill things a lot, so something easy to clean that doesn’t show all the mess is key. Also, lots of cup holders will help avoid some spills. Lots of plugs and ports will also help avoid meltdowns on long rides. We don’t need ramps or lifts, but whatever your needs are you can find an adapted vehicle or have your vehicle modified in many ways.
With three rapidly growing kids in my brood I felt a third row seat was important. Also, my special needs child sometimes needs to stretch very dramatically, although this is less about being a special needs kid and more about just being a kid in general – especially a kid who has siblings. She also occasionally has muscle spasms that can be very painful for her (as well as for the person next to her when an arm or leg suddenly shoots out on its own) so giving the kids enough interior space was a high priority for me.
The tricky part for me is not to get distracted by how I want my life to be and to stay focused on the reality of my life. Sure, I would love to have the ginormous family vehicle with ample cargo space and seats for eleventy three for all those road trips and beach outings…but the fact is that we rarely do those things. I would love to plan detailed vacations where we shuttle from place to place exploring cultural and historical locations in areas near and far…but I am not all that good with all the little details, as I said earlier. So really, why pay for the tank-sized truckster every day when we might only use it for its true purpose once?
If your family needs a new vehicle, do your research. Be good at the little details, unlike me. There are so many packages and options available, find the one that suits your family’s special requests. If your special needs child is very sensitive to cold you might want the option to turn on the engine and the heater from inside your house via your smartphone. If you need to carry medication with you then an air conditioned glove compartment might be an absolute necessity for your family.
For more information on vehicles and special needs, check out this brochure from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
2016 Toys”R”Us Toy Guide For Differently-Abled Kids
Last updated on December 12th, 2016 at 03:10 pm
Holiday shopping for kids with special needs can be challenging, but the Toys”R”Us Toy Guide for Differently-Abled Kids can make it a little easier. Thoroughly researched and tested, the guide features symbols that stand for skills like auditory, language, social skills and others to help shoppers know the skills involved with each item. Since children with special needs may be on different developmental levels, there are no age suggestions in the guide. Pictures of the products will help you see if something would be too babyish or too advanced for your gift recipient. The reviews by customers are helpful, too.
The guide also includes a list of questions like “places the toy will be used”, “method of activation”, “opportunities for success”, etc. to help parents and caregivers ensure the right toy is purchased for each child’s current skill and abilities. Tips for ensuring safe play and even a guide to apps for mobile devices for children with differing needs are also included.
Does My Daughter Have Autism? Do Labels Help or Hurt?
Last updated on September 12th, 2016 at 04:00 pm
I took my twins to the mall last weekend so she could hunt for her latest fandom obsession plush and he could hunt for Pokemon. While in GameStop, one of our favorite stores, a noticed a young man in a bright blue shirt. I think I noticed him because he held his arms at an unusual angle. When I looked up at his handsome face I recognized some signs of autism. He was enjoying himself in the store when we left for our next destination. After a few other stops we were outside in a courtyard when the bright blue shirt walked by us again. He made eye contact with me so I smiled at him, and as I walked by he said, “Does she have autism?”
This question has plagued me since she was very young. I don’t care if she has autism, that’s not what I mean. It is nice to have a diagnosis sometimes; It helps you to understand things better and can guide treatment. My only concern was that I didn’t want her to struggle with additional challenges or labels.
As I looked at the handsome young face I had flashbacks.
During a procedure back when she was a tiny child battling severe GERD, she single-handedly fought off an entire surgical team and they had to call me into the OR to sing to her and calm her down. After she slipped under anesthesia her doctor told the team that she was autistic as an apology, and I got ticked at him – and let him know that – of course after he had safely completed the procedure.
During an assessment when she was a toddler she played happily at a toy box, totally ignoring the doctor as he asked her questions. I knew she would ace the test and he was marking her as if she didn’t have the required knowledge or skills so I went over and brought her onto my lap. Then I administered the test to her, and of course she blew through it with flying colors. The doctor was amazed and told me he was going to diagnose her with severe autism until he saw the reactions I got out of her.
In both of these instances I was horrified at the presumptions of the professionals (who were both very nice and very competent, btw). I mean, if I was a small child and strangers in gowns and masks were coming at me I would fight like hell, too – autism or no autism! And if I was a toddler and a strange man was asking me questions I didn’t really feel like answering I would probably find the toy box much more interesting and just ignore him, too!
While I sometimes wished for a diagnosis of autism because I thought it would get her additional services and therapies, the opposite turned out to be true. Recently we decided to try some behavioral therapy, and (GET THIS!) if she had a diagnosis of autism the therapy would not be paid for by the Regional Center, but since she does NOT have autism the therapy is provided. That seems completely backwards to me, but that is the structure of the system, at least where we live.
Back to the present moment outside the mall. The question seemed to be hanging in the air. “Does she have autism?” I looked from the young man to my daughter, who was hiding behind a pole with wide eyes beside her twin brother. I felt like she was waiting for the answer as much as he was. I finally found my voice.
“No, she doesn’t. She has something else. Do you?”
“Yes, I do.” I loved that he wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed of himself! I asked where he went to school, but he had graduated. I told him I worked in a high school with kids with autism and I asked what he was going to do after school. He said he wanted to get a job. I asked him where he wanted to work and he had a few places in mind. He was very tall and had a deep voice but after I got him talking he seemed much younger than a high school graduate. After a few moments of chatting I wished him luck and we waved goodbye.
My twins don’t understand how I can talk to just anybody. “But do you know him?” they kept asking me. I shrugged and told them that I know him now.
I keep wondering why he picked my child out of a crowded store. Was it her mannerisms? Her speech pattern? Was it just a coincidence that we ran into him again outside, or had he followed us? I considered my child, who despite her youngish pink tutu skirt and sequined ice cream cone shirt looks more and more like a young woman every day. The young man and my daughter had a lot in common. Maybe I had met my future son in law. That had better be FAR in the future son in law.
Do you or someone you know have a special needs child? Have “labels” helped or hurt?
My Special-Needs Child is Now a Tween …Wait, Not Ready Yet!
Last updated on August 5th, 2016 at 01:36 pm
My child is now officially a tween. She has one foot still firmly planted in childhood, wanting to play games and pretend and collect stuffed animals. With the other foot she has started to dip her toe into the shallow end of early womanhood. This terrifies her, and it terrifies me even more.
Just yesterday, even as she complained about the smell as I polished my nails, she flattened her hands out on the table and asked for a manicure. She has started to put together cute, funky outfits and has a good eye for coordinating colors. The child that would not even let us brush her hair has now even expressed interest in wearing clips and bows in it.She insists on wearing (low) heels when she does her chores. She has already had her heart broken by a friend and been disappointed by many others. She is so eager to be part of a group that I worry that she will make some bad choices or give in to peer pressure. I guess every tween mom has those worries, but not every mom is worrying about a child with a developmental delay.
Inclusion is becoming a slippery slope. In the near future while she is spending time with typically developing kids her own age, she will be presented with choices she many not be equipped to make. Will her friends understand this? Will she understand this?
In many ways she is truly a “tween” – a high functioning kid but still very much dealing with special needs and at the same time a blossoming teenager wanting to go out with friends. Do I shield her from these situations and have her miss out on learning opportunities and experiences? Or will I give her some freedom, but sneak a GPS into the hem of her shirt? Should I claim to be dropping her off at the movies but then spy on her from a few rows back?
I am going to have to take the upcoming future one day at a time. Like her progress up until now, we will probably see her take two steps forward and one step back…in increasingly higher heels. Whether she takes actual physical or metaphorical falls, we will always be there to catch her.
