Boredom vs. Structure: Is One “Better” for a Special Needs Child?
Last updated on August 9th, 2026 at 04:31 pm
There is a lot of parenting buzz about letting your kids be bored because only then will they tap into their imaginations and learn to be self-reliant. Childhood boredom can lead to many wonderful things like invented games, improvised plays and backyard expeditions. Then again, many children with special needs need structure. Some get very anxious when they are unsure where to go and what to do. Others get lost in time and distractions in ways that are not beneficial or can get up to activities that are destructive or unsafe. Throughout this article please understand that when I refer to unstructured time I never mean for it to mean unsupervised time. Safety is crucial! Also, this is not about boredom in school – this is about the summertime, weekend, hanging out at home type of boredom. So how do you balance your child’s need for structure with the healthy benefits of downtime?
I was faced with this dilemma of schedule vs. free time on only the fourth day of summer break, when my special needs child dramatically threw herself on my bed and sighed, “I’m bored.”
As always, take the unique needs of your child and your family into consideration. If you work, if your child is in a summer program or camp or if your child has a caregiver this may not all be up to you. You will need to get input from your child’s team to see how he or she tolerates unstructured time before you can decide how much boredom to allow at home.
Even when it seems like I am letting my kids hang around the house doing nothing, I always have a secret schedule in my mind and am always watching the clock and listening to the sibling rivalry. Sometimes I have to step in and redirect, sometimes I can let it play out. Sometimes I have to force them all to unplug, or go outside or read.
If your child needs structure and scheduling, try building some imagination time into the daily agenda. Start small, maybe ten minutes, and build the time up as your child can tolerate it. Knowing there is an end time may also help the child feel less anxious about free time.
Some children have trouble making choices. In this case you can schedule something like reading time or art time, but allow your child the choice of what book to read or what art materials to use. If that is too overwhelming, you can give your child two or three options and let them choose. Then stop giving the options. Eventually you can work up to giving your child bigger choices, like reading time or art time. Even using the phrase “play time” instead of “free time” may offer the child a hint about appropriate choices during this time. If the idea of unstructured time is very overwhelming to your child, brainstorm a list of things they could do during free time, then post it somewhere or keep it in a notebook so you can consult it as needed. You may even want to make a Boredom Jar so the suggested activities will be randomized when your child pulls one out.
As always, if unstructured time doesn’t work for your child right now that is fine, but as our kids grow up and we try to teach them to be independent you can revisit it at a later date.
What to Do if Your Child Loses a Baby Tooth Too Soon
Last updated on August 9th, 2026 at 04:32 pm
While baby teeth are not permanent and only last in a child’s mouth for a few years, they have an important role in the development of the jaw, muscles, and adult teeth. It is natural for baby teeth to fall out as the permanent teeth grow in to take their place. However, if a baby tooth is lost too soon, it can sometimes prevent proper development in the mouth. It may be necessary for your child to have a space maintainer put in to keep the space open until the permanent tooth comes in. This can save your child from extensive orthodontic work in the future.
Baby teeth can fall out early for a number of reasons. The most common causes are accidents resulting in tooth loss, or having to extract a baby tooth due to severe decay. Sometimes a baby tooth doesn’t even grow in at all. Whichever the case, an empty space in your child’s mouth can cause problems if the permanent tooth doesn’t grow in soon after. The teeth around the space can start to tilt and shift, resulting in insufficient space for the adult tooth to grow it.
A space maintainer can prevent improper development by keeping the space open until the permanent tooth grows in. There are several different types of space maintainers that can be used for treatment. Older children who are responsible in the care of their teeth might use a removable space maintainer. This appliance looks much like a retainer and is usually plastic. Other methods involve a fixed space maintainer, which is banded or cemented in place and is usually made of metal. Your dentist will help determine which type of space maintainer will work best for your child’s needs, and will make a custom appliance using impressions of your child’s teeth. The space maintainer is removed once the permanent tooth is ready to erupt.
If your child loses a tooth early, make an appointment with your dentist to discuss whether or not a space maintainer is necessary for development. While losing a baby tooth early does not always lead to complications, it is safe to have a professional’s opinion before letting it go too long. A space maintainer is a fairly simple solution to guiding teeth into place, and can prevent your child from having to endure a year or more of complicated orthodontic treatment.
When and How to Treat a Fever: a Pediatrician’s Perspective
Last updated on August 9th, 2026 at 04:33 pm
I have posted in the past about fever and many of the myths surrounding it (Kids Will Get Sick: 5 Facts a Pediatrician Wants You To Know). In this post I would like to deal with the causes, nature of fever, benefits of fever, and some “treatments”. It is one of the most common reasons people bring their children to the Emergency room and probably among the least significant reasons for doing so.
Fever is a symptom of an illness such as cough, runny nose, headache, and many others and, except for the discomfort of the associated symptoms (chills, achiness, drowsiness, etc.) fever, in and of itself, does not need to be treated. As far as what is the definition of fever, it depends on the age of your child or infant. Just about any fever in an infant less than 3 months of age is considered to be significant for the purpose of evaluation. As your baby/child gets older the level of fever at which the concern rises does so with the height of the fever and the associated symptoms. Beyond the immediate newborn period (up to age 3 months) fever (or better termed higher than normal body temperature) is generally considered to be over 100.4 to 100.5 Fahrenheit.
Fever is part of the immune reaction that your body goes through to identify the offending agent and muster the resources to fight off that agent. Some studies have shown that the presence of fever helps your body fight off the disease in a more rapid and efficient way. As such, it is easy to see that in fighting off an illness, the reduction of that fever for its own sake is not necessarily the best thing to do. As I mentioned in my last post about fever, if your child is very uncomfortable due to the presence of fever, it certainly is reasonable to give a medicine such as Tylenol or Advil, but not just because the fever is there.
In an effort to reduce fever by worried parents many methods have been tried; such as placing a child in a cold bath or sponging with cold water, even to go as far as placing ice packs in supposedly strategic places. This would seem logical at first blush but in fact, human beings have a very good method of warming a cold body, and that is shivering, wherein the muscles go into a hypermetabolic state producing heat by metabolic processes. It is possible to place someone with a fever in a cold bath and have him or her come out with a higher temperature than before the bath. So the reasonable approach to comfortably lower a fever is to undress a child with fever but not enough to stimulate chills or shivering, place your child in a warm (skin temperature) bath of only a few inches of water and sponge off your child frequently allowing for natural evaporative processes to cool the skin. Offer your child plenty of cool fluids that will do some cooling from within as well as keeping him/her well hydrated- fever will cause extra fluid loss through sweating and the hypermetabolic state. Do not wrap your child in blankets just to “sweat the fever out” as doing this may also inadvertently raise fever, and increase fluid loss and discomfort- certainly covering the child enough to relieve chills and shivering is appropriate for comfort.
In trying to determine whether someone who runs a lower than “normal” natural body temperature is running a fever, just use the reading you get with the thermometer as the difference between a normal temperature and one that “runs low” is very small and would not be significant medically. Furthermore body temperatures vary throughout the 24 hour day in the same person- so when that “normally low” body temperature was taken becomes important.
So you can almost expect fever to accompany any illness of an infectious nature whether mild or severe. Keep calm, it is not the fever that is important, but the appearance, behavior and the presence of certain other symptoms that your Doctor with be most interested in when you call his office.
Research Reveals the Myth of Family Dinner Time as Cure-all
Last updated on June 14th, 2026 at 07:33 pm
The clock is approaching 6:00 pm and your household is frazzled. Half the kids are still at soccer practice. You have to pick them up in 20 minutes. The younger kids are in “witching hour” mode and running around crazy and begging for snacks. You haven’t yet considered what will be on the menu for dinner.
Does this sound like your house? Many times family dinner time can easily turn into stressful time. Yet, we hear all the time that families who eat dinner together reap great benefits for themselves and their children.
Most of us have heard all the research about how important family dinners are to kids’ long-term outcomes. Just a few years ago, journalist and filmmaker Miriam Weinstein wrote a book entitled, The Surprising Power of Family Meals: How Eating Together Makes Us Smarter, Stronger, Healthier, and Happier, in which she outlines the research that supports the role that family dinners play in kids’ lives.
Reading this research, it really sounds like family dinners are the magic bullet of family life. Family dinners have been associated with all sorts of positive outcomes for kids, such as less teenage delinquency and drug use, lower rates of obesity, greater emotional stability, and even better preparedness for reading. It sounds a little too good to be true. Something as simple as family dinners could make all these great outcomes appear in your family?
Well, it turns out that the “magic bullet” of the family dinner may be a little too good to be true. New research is delving deeper into the role that family dinners play in the lives of children. This research is not only compelling because of the insight it offers into family life, but it also illustrates a perfect example of the difference between correlation and causation in social science research.
In this new research, scientists used a huge national survey of adolescents. They consider the relationship between family dinners and three main outcomes:
- Teen depression,
- Teen alcohol and drug use, and
- Teen delinquency
At first, the study seemed to replicate previous work, with there being a strong correlation between family dinners and less teen delinquency. Then, however, researchers went one step further.
They controlled statistically for other factors that might explain these differences in families such as:
- How well parents monitor their children,
- How many activities parents do with their children, and
- Family resources
Not surprisingly, when these factors are included in the mix, the correlation between family dinners and teen outcomes drops dramatically. In other words, these other factors, not family dinner itself, can explain much of the effects we see. Family dinner time is “masking” these other factors.
So it turns out that family dinners are not the “magic bullet” that they were once considered to be. As is often the case in social science, the strong correlation between family dinners and teen outcomes did not mean that family dinners were the sole cause of this relationship. As this new research shows, the family dinner is really just a proxy for other positive things parents do with their children such as talking and engaging with them on a daily basis. The key component that seems to be influencing kids is this: connection and communication with parents.
Does this mean that you should give up on family dinners? Of course not!
Dinner time is still a great opportunity to connect with you kids, but it’s not the only way. In his popular book, The Secrets of Happy Families: Improve Your Mornings, Tell Your Family History, Fight Smarter, Go Out and Play, and Much More, Bruce Feiler discusses different ways in which families can connect throughout the day, not just a dinner.
Here are just a few ideas:
- If after school activities make dinner time difficult, have an early “dinner” at 4:00 for all who can join. Then later at night, have a family dessert for everyone.
- Family time does not always have to center around a meal—how about a walk when everyone gets home from school and work.
- Family storytelling and asking kids questions is key. Every family has stories from grandparents or funny tales from relatives.
- Start a “themed” conversation that happens most times the family is together. Ours is sharing “joys and challenges” of the day or week. Each person shares something that was a “joy” and “challenge” for that day. It is amazing all the good conversation this can start.
Research is clearly showing that “family dinner” is really just a proxy for family connection. Kids that feel safe, connected, and valued by their family are less likely to participate in dangerous activities like drug use, extreme risk-taking or delinquent acts. Furthermore, these kids tend to be happier and are less likely to be depressed.
Take the pressure and stress out of family dinner. Just aim to find a few minutes every day to connect with your family, in any way you can.
6 Tips to Help Your Child Get Quality Sleep
Last updated on June 14th, 2026 at 07:33 pm
The right amount of sleep is paramount for your little one’s development both physically and mentally. The duration very much depends on the child’s age. As a rule of thumb the following applies to my five children: between the ages 1 and 2, 11 to 14 hours of sleep, pre-school age (3 to 5 years old) 10 to 13 hours and school children (6 to 13 years old) 9 to 11 hours.
So, why is counting those ZZZ’s so crucial to a child’s growth? One of the things that resonate with parents the most is their child’s mood and learning ability – sleep directly affects it, and none of you want those temper tantrums or phone calls from school because your son or daughter is grouchy and tired.
Sleep is essential to children’s health, influencing your child’s weight, immune system, and overall ability to regenerate and assimilate what they have learned during the day. Another bonus is that your precious offspring will be less accident prone and aware of his or her environment.
Need we go on? It is safe to say that sleep is one of the most important things in your kid’s young life. Here are some tips and tricks to help you on your way.
Choose the right mattress:
You as a parent can have a direct influence on this.
So what is important here; what should you consider?
I have found that a pocket-sprung mattress is better suited than the memory foam version. This is because, unlike many adults, children need firmness contrary to an adaptable surface. I assumed that a medium-hard mattress is better for my child’s spinal growth and so far I still need to be proven wrong.
Routine is everything:
I always prefer to have my son and daughter in bed before 9 pm. Also, I created a bedtime routine as a kind of introduction to sleep. My precious little ones automatically understand when their dad or I use the words, “Sweetie, it’s off to bed in half an hour.”
Think of your computer – it also needs a certain amount of time to shut down.
Monitor electronic interference:
Now we have all fallen victim to the so-called benefits of the digital nanny. Let’s face it; our kids love tablets, on-demand TV, and music.
If you have allotted a certain amount of digital playtime, make sure it comes to an end at least an hour before bedtime. Another thing, depending on your child’s age, make sure the usage time does not exceed an hour in the evenings. From my experience too much electronic playtime makes them irritable and excitable – not the ideal recipe to collect those ZZZs.
Reduce stress:
High levels of stress heighten cortisol levels in the body. As a result, your kid will have trouble falling asleep. A small tip here – keep those bedtime activities calm and the house quiet.
Make bedtime special:
I mention this point because the time before bed is the ideal moment for you to make your young one feel loved. You might have a small talk or tell them a story; anything that will detract from our hectic everyday lives and make their voyage to dreamland all the more comfortable.
The right sleeping environment is the way to go:
Letting my kids have a big say in the way we designed their rooms was a huge boon.
Makes sense right? We all sleep better in an environment in which we feel comfortable and safe. Take care of those stuffed animals too; one or two is fine but having a bed full of them is counterproductive. And I always keep lighting to a minimum and make sure that the temperature is not too high or too low.
As a last bit of advice, be mindful and respectful of your child’s fears. It may sound silly to you, but to them, it is vital. A small something like imaginary magic pajamas or a brave teddy bear can go along way in creating peace in their mind.
Are Dental Sealants and Fillings Safe for Kids?
Last updated on May 3rd, 2026 at 02:41 pm
A couple of weeks ago, I told you if you had any questions for health experts to ask away — and I’d see what I could do. Well, the topic for today’s post is thanks to my friend Kristin, who asked me to find out about BPA (bisphenol A) in dental fillings and sealants. Kristin is the “greenest” of all my friends; she even has solar panels on her house and gushes about how much it has saved her family on utilities. I’ve got to admit I wish I had her electric bill!
Back to BPA: Kristin and I tossed our kids’ plastic cups and dinnerware years ago after some preliminary research suggested that the chemical could leach out of plastics when heated and cause health problems, especially for babies and young children. I’ve been buying BPA-free water bottles and other plastics ever since, but it never occurred to me that there would be BPA in those white composite fillings or dental sealants (used to protect kids’ teeth from cavities) until Kristin, fresh from her kid’s teeth-cleaning, asked about it.
I called Julie Anne Barna, a dentist and a spokeswoman for the Academy of General Dentistry, to find out what’s going on. She said that though sealants and fillings don’t contain BPA per se, they do have compounds that can turn into BPA when they’re first put in the mouth. However, she assured me that a quick wipe and rinse of the dental work — a routine practice — removes the potential hazards. In fact, a study published in 2012 in Pediatrics by researchers at Children’s Hospital Boston found that scrubbing and rinsing sealants eliminates 88 to 95 percent of the BPA-causing compounds.
I wish it were 100 percent, of course, but 90-something is good enough for me. The real risk of having a cavity (and other dental problems that might lead to down the road) outweighs the theoretical risk from BPA. Now, please excuse me, I’m off to tell Kristin.
