The Facts About Teens in Cars (Infographic)
The following infographic is courtesy of Safe Kids Worldwide. Many teens are texting and riding in cars without seatbelts…and this doesn’t always stop when our teens start driving. Click here to access the research report and find out more about cars and teen safety. 
Why I Don’t Care That October is Bullying Prevention Month
Last updated on November 24th, 2025 at 06:18 pm
Every October is Bullying Prevention Month, and I couldn’t care less about it. Let me explain why that’s the case. If you’ve read any of my previous articles for Pediatric Safety, you know that I write about cybersafety, which often includes cyberbullying. Certainly, the awareness bullying prevention gets during October is a good thing. Every little bit helps.
It’s very possible that #BullyingPreventionMonth is trending this month or that articles on bullying show up in people’s feed, especially if their past Internet activity has a history of visiting related websites and reading such articles.
But like just about every other cause out there, after the day, week, or month is past, the attention that was generated slips away dramatically. Sadly, unless someone has experienced bullying or knows someone who has, what trends or what shows up in people’s feed will be very different come November first.
If you’re reading this, I’ll assume that you have an interest in stopping bullying. Thank you for that. If so, I ask that you pledge to continue helping all year long. You can do that by taking several easy steps.
Let’s all agree that we don’t want to encourage bullying behavior. Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel is quoted as saying,
“We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.”
He couldn’t be more right. He’s also quoted as saying that what hurts the most is the silence of the bystanders who watched and did nothing.
The first step is to be an Upstander. That means standing up for people when you see them being attacked, whether they’re online or offline. If you would help a child in the schoolyard being bullied, then do the same thing if you see it online.
The same principle applies to adults as well, online or offline.
Bottom Line
If you want to help prevent bullying all year long, again, I thank you. You can start by finding good sources of information. Nothing stops a bully than being called out for it!
There are dozens of organizations that can be used as good sources of information about how to prevent it and how to handle it if it does happen. For the sake of space and your time, I’ll limit myself to four.
The first is https://www.stopbullying.gov/, a great source of information supplied by the U.S. government. It covers a wide range of helpful information.
Next comes the Owleus Bullying Prevention Program, provided by Clemson University and the program’s founder, Dan Owleus. Dr. Owleus had a lifetime passion for helping those hurt by bullying in all forms.
The third is the Cyberbullying Research Center, a terrific source of information on cyberbullying around the world. I use it myself and have met one of the founders and he clearly has a passion for bullying prevention.
The last source is my own company, Safety Net of PA, LLC. You can follow my company on Facebook, X, and Instagram, where I give daily information that helps everyone use technology wisely and productively, with an emphasis on cyberbullying prevention.
If you want to look for current/trending content on bullying prevention, look for recent posts with #BeAnUpstander, #PositiveSlamming, #BullyingPrevention, #BullyingAwareness, or #BullyingPreventionMonth hashtags. And then continue to be an Upstander all year long!
Online Meets Offline Lesson: Don’t Let Kids Learn the Hard Way
Last updated on October 23rd, 2024 at 05:50 pm
When something about us ends up online and affects us in a negative way, I call it the Online Meets Offline lesson. It’s a lesson that we all need to learn as soon and as painlessly as possible. The problem can originate from something that happened online, such as a post someone made or when something offline, such as a news story, gets posted online. The video below shows some great examples of teenagers and young adults learning the Online Meets Offline Lesson the hard way.
Either way, once it’s online, it’s there for the world to see and it probably isn’t going away anytime soon. This is a lesson that kids often have a difficult time understanding, as McAfee software, one of the leading companies that works to protect people from learning the lesson the hard way explains.
When it does happen, they tend to fall into several “types” of incidents:
Pushback from the Public
In a case here in my home state of Pennsylvania, a teacher made derogatory comments about her students in her blog back in 2009. Even though she did it anonymously, her identity was discovered. She was fired as a result and sued to get her job back, claiming Freedom of Speech, going as far as the U.S. Supreme Court. In the end, she lost her case. In more recent examples, people have lost their jobs after making comments after the attempted assassination attempt on former President Trump.
Providing Evidence of a Crime
There’s a saying that if they were smart, criminals wouldn’t be criminals in the first place. I agree and that point is never so evident as when people post (often live) about something that they’re doing, and their own post ends up being used against them in court. Here are a few examples of that happening. My favorite is the story from Utah of the man who showed himself stealing gas from a police vehicle.
Checking-In Can Cause Unexpected Problems
Even when people do what would appear to be something innocent, it can cause major problems. We all like to “check-in” on social media, especially kids. Or post pictures of ourselves having a fun time. It helps them show to others that they’re fun and maybe popular (if they’re with others).
The problem here is that it tells people exactly where you are and where you aren’t. Anyone looking for you, such as a disgruntled classmate, an ex-partner or even a criminal, knows where they can find you or at the opposite end, knows that you’re not at home, making your home a target for a robbery or other criminal actions.
These kinds of posts become part of our Digital Footprint, something that kids applying for jobs or to schools need to keep in mind. And just because something gets deleted later may not be enough – it’s better to T.H.I.N.K. (see below) about what we post before doing it to avoid problems later. An ounce of prevention is worth an immeasurable amount of cure.
Takeaway
For better or worse, we live in a world where just about everything about us has the potential to go online and go viral, even if it didn’t start there. That can help us in many ways, but it can hurt us in many ways as well. To help prevent that from happening, take the following actions:
- Keep your privacy settings to their most restrictive to keep strangers from seeing your posts.
- Avoid checking-in live – do it later and say that you HAD a great time, not that you’re HAVING a great time.
- Use common sense about what you post. When in doubt, use the T.H.I.N.K. Principle, as recommended by Fifty Shades of Purple Against Bullying. Each letter represents a specific criterion (True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary and Kind) that people should consider before they post something to see if they should hold off instead.
The Online Meets Offline Lesson is one I’ve seen people of all ages learn the hard way and the repercussions can be as mild as some gentle teasing by classmates to something as bad as losing a job or getting physically assaulted (or worse). Learning the lesson at a younger age makes it easier for it to become second nature, protecting your children for many years to come, so make sure that your children and everyone in your family takes the three steps above to help them avoid learning the lesson the hard way.
If you want to see some more examples of how a person’s Digital Footprint can affect the in the “real” word, just search for the following hashtags: #OnlineMeetsOffline, #PublicAndPermanent, or #DigitalFootprint. Some of the stories will make you laugh, and others will make you cringe, so the sooner people learn this lesson, the better they will be.
Hidden in Plain Sight: a Parent’s Guide to Teen Texting
Last updated on September 28th, 2022 at 09:01 pm
One of the most common things that kids do with technology is send text messages. Even as far back as 2010, Pew Research reported that 72% of teens engaged in texting. And while some parents may review the messages sent on their kids’ phones, it’s all too easy to avoid leaving incriminating messages behind. One of the trickiest ways that they do this is by using “secret code words” that are really everyday words, but with hidden meanings. These messages look completely harmless, but have a darker meaning that is usually only known by teens.
One of the earliest ways that teens texted in code was using Leetspeak, a method of using similar looking letters and numbers. This is still used widely in social media apps to try to avoid online monitors, both human and automated, from identifying inappropriate words. For example:
The downside to this approach is that if someone happens to be looking over their shoulder and sees text like that, their mind notices it and it could cause them to ask questions that the teens don’t want to answer. By using everyday words with a meaning known only to them, the teens are less likely to bring unwanted attention to themselves.
Hiding in Plain Sight
Before you continue with this, please know that some of the examples I’m about to use may be uncomfortable for parents to read. Also know that my examples aren’t mean to imply that these words/phrases are always used in this way. Sometimes, when a teen says that they want pizza, it means nothing more than a visit to a local pizza shop is imminent.
Below are some of the examples of code words using by teens, with their explanation and an example of how it might be used:
BOB: An acronym for Battery Operated Boyfriend.
Example: She’s been spending a lot of time with BOB lately.
Bunny: An abbreviated form of a “Rope Bunny” – someone who likes being tied up.
Example: I’ve been hoping to find a cute bunny lately, but no such luck!
Chocolate: A black person.
Example: I’ve been craving chocolate a lot lately!
Headache: When a person, usually a male, is aroused and looking for sex.
Example: Man, I wish that I could do something about this headache. It just won’t go away.
Little: A person who pretends to be much younger than they are chronologically. The difference can be years or even decades. This person is often in search of someone who is looking to take care of them (not always sexually).
Example: I woke up feeling very little today.
Mary Jane: Another word for marijuana. Also known as MJ.
Example: Has anyone seen MJ lately? I’m looking for her.
Pet: A person who likes to be cared for, often in a submissive role.
Example: I’m looking for the perfect pet. Anyone? [Done in a chat room]
Pizza: A euphemism for sex. The idea is that there is no such thing as bad pizza and there is no such thing as bad sex.
Example: I really need to get some pizza today!
Smash: To have casual sex.
Example: Whenever I see him, I just want to smash him.
Your Turn
Below are three possible texts that have very different meanings compared to what they appear to be. Also included are multiple choice answers with their real meanings indicated afterwards.
Self-Test #1: I absolutely love corn, no matter how it’s done.
- Male genitalia.
- Pornography
- Something without alcohol.
Self-Test #2: Turtles are my favorite pet. Who doesn’t love them?
- A shy, introverted person.
- A person with a tough shell (personality).
- A person who will spend a lot of time on their pack (having sex).
Self-Test #3: I’d really love some spaghetti right about now.
- Someone who is straight when dry (sober), but gay when wet (drunk or high).
- Someone without a backbone – an easy pushover.
- A person of Italian ancestry.
Answers to Self-Tests #1:B. #2: C, #3: A
Takeaway
It can be very difficult to decode such messages because they look so innocent. And many times, they are innocent. It may take seeing several exchanges to finally understand the true nature of what’s being said between the people. The most likely place parents should watch out for these kinds of code words is on social media apps like Whisper or in a chat room.
My best advice is to confirm the intent by looking at an ongoing exchange, rather than after seeing only one possible coded message. The next is to focus more on educating them on the potential dangers involved with sexting, including sextortion and revenge porn. This video shows the potential consequences of sexting when images are included. It shows just how quickly and easily the images can go viral, being seen by many people, perhaps even by the original sender’s friends and family.
Once such images are distributed, getting them removed from the Internet is virtually impossible. It’s one reason why I say that when it comes to technology problems like sexting, an ounce of prevention isn’t worth a pound of cure, but an immeasurable amount of cure. And like any other activity that teens may do with technology, parents can teach their children a better way with patience and by keeping informed on what the risks are to their children.
One Wrong Click! Your Kid’s in Trouble Now!
Last updated on December 11th, 2021 at 09:32 pm
We hear in the news that companies get hacked all the time, but we rarely hear about when it happens to people like us. Trust me, it happens a lot!
Ransomware is more common than people realize, making its way into a device, such as a laptop, phone or tablet. Its name comes from the demand from the hacker to have their victim pay a fee to regain control of their device.
For private citizens, the danger includes targeting our children via emails and on social media. Even the most innocuous looking link can be a Trojan Horse, just waiting to infect a device. Kids may not realize the dangers inherent in clicking links and without meaning to, introduce malware onto their device or maybe even onto your device if family members share a device.
About eight years ago, Miss Teen USA Cassidy Wolf’s laptop was infected with malware. As a result, her laptop’s camera was recording her in her dorm room without her knowledge. Another teenager contacted Miss Wolf and threatened to release the intimate pictures of her unless she sent him more pictures. According to the records, he threatened to turn her “dream of being a model…into a porn star.”
That’s why I always keep a cover over my laptop’s camera unless I’m actively using it! Covering the microphone isn’t a bad idea, either.
To show you how easy it is to be tricked, all three of the links below appear as though they will take you to Google’s home page. The truth is that only one of them actually does what it appears to do. Can you tell which one that is? Don’t worry if you’re wrong, because the others take you to safe sites, I promise.
On a laptop or tablet, you may be able to move the mouse/pointer over the link and see its destination before you click on it. Maybe. But on cellphones, that’s not an option and once you click on it, it’s too late – you’re in trouble and may not even realize it until it’s too late.
If infected with malware, the FBI’s official policy is to not pay the ransom, but many people feel it’s the only way that they will get access to their technology again. The key is to avoid getting infected in the first place.
Here are five steps that you and your kids can take to avoid potential malware problems:
- Explain to your children why they should never click on unknown links or download files from a source that is not completely trustworthy.
- Either design your devices so that they backup your data automatically or teach your children how to make backups of your data regularly, probably onto a flash drive.
- Teach them why they should never plug an unknown flash drive into your device.
- Install anti-virus software and keep it up to date and make sure that your children let you know about any warnings or messages that pop up on their devices BEFORE they act upon them.
- Make sure that your kids know to avoid letting others use their equipment, as they may not follow the same steps mentioned here and could introduce a virus onto the device.
Even by following these steps, keep in mind that nothing is foolproof, but anything you can do to help prevent your devices from being infected with viruses are well worth the effort. Even if no critical school or work files are lost, imagine the inconvenience of not having the devices available until they are fixed or maybe, replaced!
Hackers quickly come up with new coding that works around existing anti-virus software. The companies that make it are often playing catch up, learning about the new virus only after it has affected someone. Even Microsoft, one of the biggest tech companies in the world, has paid millions to hackers, paying them to expose weaknesses in their security. Like most problems involving both technology and our children, an ounce of prevention isn’t just worth a pound of cure – it’s worth an immeasurable amount of cure!
So where do you start??
Go back to the basics and remind your kids to not click on links from people that they don’t know. Even links sent by friends could be a problem if they’re just forwarding on a link from an untrustworthy source. Many hackers or predators will use the same technique that I used above to trick people into following links that look perfectly safe, but aren’t.
The best analogy that I can give you to use is to tell your kids to treat their computer like your own home. Just as you wouldn’t give a stranger the keys to your house, letting malware into your computer can give them access into plenty of personal information, including banking and credit card accounts, control over your device’s microphone/camera and a lot more…all without you even realizing that you’ve been attacked!
By following the steps above, you and your family will be far less likely to have malware introduced onto your devices and avoiding the problems in the first place is by far, the best possible outcome.
Parenting Resources to Keep Kids Safe Online
Last updated on May 4th, 2020 at 12:01 pm
In many cases, children are more adept at using technology than their parents. Today’s children are Digital Natives, meaning that they grew up with technology and social media is a way of life for them. They never knew a time without smartphones and social media. For anyone over 30, their teen years didn’t involve posing for selfies, using emojis or having to worry about sexting problems. However, as parents, we have more LIFE experience than they have and that’s what can make the difference in keeping kids safe online.
Many parents feel a sense of trepidation when it comes to what their children do online and that’s to be expected. The concerns involve not only what can happen to their kids, but how do they help them get through the problems. From cyberbullying to sexting and online predators, there are many real dangers to our children. Shawn Henry, of the FBI reported that at any given time, there are an estimated 750,000 child predators online.
Fortunately, there are some great resources available to help parents with their concerns. If you’re reading this now, then you’ve found one – Pediatric Safety! Dr. Michele Borba, Dr. Lynne Kenney and others are here for you. Dr. Kenney’s article on teaching kids empathy, while not specific to online issues, is spot-on about having life experiences that can help kids with problems of both offline and online matters. Kids with empathy are less likely to cause trouble online.
Below are several other resources available to you, including some free online sources and recommended reading to help parents understand more of what they can do and in some cases, use as teaching aids with their children. They may not always listen to their parents, but when they see real stories about what has happened to their peers, it may open their eyes and make them more receptive to what their parents have to say about online safety.
Cyberbullying Research Center
This is by far, my number one, go-to source on the Internet for help when it comes to online (and even offline) bullying issues. After all, cyberbullying is simply one more form of bullying. It has specific attributes, such as staying anonymous, that physical bullying doesn’t have, but that doesn’t make it any less impactful or less damaging to the target.
Heavily focused on doing the research to make their case, Dr. Justin Patchin and Dr. Sameer Hinduja are outstanding in the field. Too often, people may want to dismiss cyberbullying and its effects as being overblown or simply anecdotal. These guys have done the research to prove the effects and they have plenty of free resources for anyone to use.
Common Sense Media
For parents looking for help on everything from what apps might cause problems to what movies are appropriate for certain ages, Common Sense Media is your best option. The site is broken down by age, by topic and provides “ultimate guides” for many popular apps and websites. There is a wide selection of material available in Spanish as well, which can be extremely helpful! Like the Cyberbullying Research Center, they are heavily involved in research and can provide you with a lot of data to support their positions
Needless to say, I love this organization and everything that they do.
International Bullying Prevention Association
People who bully offline are more likely to bully online. So, while their focus is not exclusive to cyberbullying, IBPA does provide resources to parents trying to understand what their kids are experiencing online. Their dedication to bullying in any form, online or offline, is very hard to beat. They have resources available for youth, family members, educators and more.
I especially like the resources dedicated to our youth. Many victims of bullying never tell anyone, suffering in silence. Just letting kids know that there are resources out there for them, specially designed for them gives them the opportunity to at least find some help if they don’t want to speak to anyone about their problems.
Darkness to Light
Child sexual abuse includes the sharing of intimate pictures of minors online. Perhaps the most valuable resource they provide is working as an advocate for victims of sexual abuse within the community and at all levels of government in the U.S. Education is great, but we need more people who will get involved in protecting our kids and Darkness to Light will do just that!
Unless you’ve experienced this for yourself, you can’t relate to how this feels. Having known a family personally that has been through this experience, I know the kind of trauma it can bring with it. If you ever have the opportunity to attend their training, I highly recommend it.
Shame Nation: The Global Epidemic of Online Hate
I don’t know what I can say about this book except that you should read it. A target of online harassment herself, Sue Scheff, who I am proud to call a friend and a mentor, does an amazing job with this book. Her storytelling teaches us how to avoid the problems that so many of us find ourselves getting into all too often.
These stories illustrate the real life repercussions that often accompany online actions. We tend to think of cybersafety issues such as bullying and shaming as being mainly problems for kids, but Sue shows how it affects people from all walks of life and all ages. Her examples of what I call the #OnlineMeetsOffline lesson is one that we all need to learn the easy way, not the hard way – by learning how to avoid it, rather than experiencing it for ourselves.
Cyberbullying and the Wild Wild Web
Jayne Hitchcock’s latest book is another great book that provides real-life examples of just how much is at stake when we go online. The target by an online stalker, she knows full well how dangerous it can be – something that our Digital Natives may not fully appreciate. While most people would agree that the Internet is largely a wide open, unmonitored and unregulated breeding ground for poor behavior, Jayne shows you quick and easy lessons to avoid problems from happening in the first place.
She uses examples of what can happen to create learning opportunities for people. For families, the fact that the book is relatively short means that children may be less likely to be intimidated by it and actually read it. Once they get started, they won’t want to put it down. I was really involved in reading this book and couldn’t put it down.
Raising Humans in a Digital World: Helping Kids Build a Healthy Relationship with Technology
I love this book! Diana Graber is a middle school teacher and a cybersafety advocate whom I’ve had the pleasure of meeting in person. She uses great examples of how things can go wrong and shows us how to do them the right way. Her C.R.A.P. acronym (Currency, Reliability, Author & Purpose) is a great way to teach the value of doing good online research for school – I now use it in my own classes at Thomas Jefferson University. Diana is very adept at relating to teenagers and parents learn how to talk to their kids about the value of good Digital Citizenship even if they aren’t up on the latest technology.
Conclusion
The approach parents take is key to helping protect our children. A heavy-handed approach rarely works with children in general and in the case of technology/social media, it’s too easy for them to get around any restrictions parents may place on them. The use of multiple accounts on the same platform (known as Finstas) and easy access to zombie devices make it almost impossible to prevent them from using the apps, so it’s more important to make sure that they know how to do it wisely.
I know what other parents are feeling, because I’m a father to a teenage daughter. Our ability to teach our children life lessons based on our own experiences is more important than our ability to use technology as well as they do.
