Posted by Dr Joe on July 24, 2017 · Leave a Comment
Most human Mom’s live with their babies developing in their uteri for about 9 months. During this time, they both experience the physiologic and personality changes associated with pregnancy. Dad too has been involved but in a much more subtle and marginal way. He has seen the remarkable changes occurring in the mother of his child almost on a daily basis and has looked on in awe and wonderment at her growing belly and occasionally has been lucky enough to have been present when the movement of the fetus can be seen and felt through the mother’s abdominal wall. If he was lucky enough to attend her prenatal visits he might even have caught a glimpse of the actual baby moving through the magic of sonography.
Some men, rarely, have expressed a feeling of disappointment at not having had the same experiences moms have. Most Fathers, however, have experienced the same joy and elation at seeing their newborn baby for the first time as Moms. There is that certain feeling of witnessing a miracle that doesn’t come along every day. Just imagine that little perfect person with everything an adult has but just in miniature. In fact, the production of a baby is, by all accounts, a miracle of such huge proportions that volumes of books and stories have been written and seen and read on this topic alone.
A father develops a special bond with his baby that can almost not be put into words. The presence of a father adds a certain amount of stability immediately to the family unit and, if Mom will allow the participation of the Father in an equal manner with her, then the family unit is strengthened even more- and the father feels less like an outsider and more like an active influence on the development of the baby.
In fact, fathers should be encouraged to take a very active role in the care of this infant right from birth. A father taking his baby to the Doctor’s office for regular visits is becoming far more common now than it ever used to be. I remember as a young intern and resident with a very busy day and night schedule I could not attend very many of my childrens’ doctor visits and could only listen in amazement at the reports my wife would give me in the evening when I finally got home. To this day I feel cheated of some of the elation that came when our baby’s doctor could confirm that our care was certainly correct and of great benefit for our child. After all, babies do not come with instructions or warranty manuals and it is important for parents to have their parenting skills recognized and confirmed by an objective third party.
Erin Pougnet’s studies of fathers’ influence on children’s cognitive and behavioural functioning have shown greater achievable IQ levels in children with whom the father has paid a greater role during early infancy and childhood. Fathers are known to contribute different ways of looking at non-verbal skills as they take part in the physical contact of their children (playing roughly) and offer another definition of reasoning. Recent evidence gathered from families in which the father is absent due to armed forces responsibilities show that there are more stresses, sadness, withdrawal and aggressive behavior when Dad is away for any significant time span. Families in older generations suffered from the father’s inability to express appropriate feeling toward his children; now it is felt that younger fathers have these skills.
A Father should never be a casual observer to the growth and development of his child but an active contributing member of the family unit. Prenatal classes of a different kind than those for expectant mothers should be offered to the father- to- be as well, so that his role can be more clearly defined. As research has shown, dad’s increasing involvement is making a difference.
