Posted by Nutrimom - Food Allergy Liason on February 11, 2019 · Leave a Comment
“Babies cry, that’s normal.”
“You need to let your baby cry for awhile. If you don’t they will expect you to pick them up all of the time.”
“All babies are fussy.”
Are these all things that you were told when your food allergic child was an infant? Do you remember thinking that there must be something that you are not doing right as a new parent? Something that one of the doctors is just not telling you or explaining the right way? Your baby cried, endlessly, for hours. They balled up their legs and you could hear the pain as their belly was gurgling and trying to let out some of that gas. Gas is normal. Colic is normal. Even if it seems to coincide with feeding times. It doesn’t matter if you happened to eat peanut butter before you breastfed- this could not affect your child in any way. Wrong, all wrong.
I have been there and I can tell you the truth- babies do not cry all of the time. All babies are not fussy and what you eat most definitely can affect how your newborn feels. Are you shocked? Are you nodding your head, thinking “I knew it, I knew it! In my heart of hearts, I knew that something else was going on with my child.” That is your mommy voice. That little voice in the back of your mind (that actually lives inside of your heart) is the voice that connects you to your child. That is the voice that lets you know what your child cannot say to you. And someday, that voice will be the one thing that you will follow and may ultimately save your child’s life.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because my son has multiple, life-threatening food allergies and I have learned to listen to that mommy voice. And yes, it has saved him (I feel) more than a few times. As a parent, it is essential to understand that you need to do what you feel is the very best for your child- even if this means going against what everyone else is telling you to do. You will feel extreme pressure to do the conventional things expected of you. You will get dirty looks and people will assume horrible untruths about you. You may need to go through many, many doctors to find the answers that you need. Like the time I met with a new allergy specialist who never even looked at my son but instead, chose to belittle the allergy tests that we had and went on to tell me that I am a terrible mother for not feeding him these foods. Upon check out, the woman behind the desk said “She wants you to make a follow up appointment” in which my mommy voice replied calmly yet fiercely “That woman will never touch my son again.”
What will this bring you? Listening to your mommy voice will bring you specific answers about your child. It will allow you to find the very best network of doctors, friends, support groups and to understand that you are not alone in how you think. This voice will keep you strong in times of need but will also soothe you during the times that you feel utterly lost and confused- and this is ok too. So what is a “mommy voice”? Some call it faith, some say its God or the Universe speaking to them, others say it’s just your conscience. Does it matter what it is labeled as long as it keeps your child safe? Learn to listen with an open heart because, no matter what, love is what will guide you, always.
